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Thread: Premier League 2023-24

  1. #5801
    Did you make that one up yourself?

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  2. #5802
    Quote Originally Posted by xxnick1975 View Post
    Did you make that one up yourself?

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    I’d love to claim that one Nick but I did pinch off a mate from elsewhere. Tickled me all the same.

  3. #5803
    Grand Master TaketheCannoli's Avatar
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    We’re a blue household today - come on City!!


  4. #5804
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gareth-W View Post
    P45 in bound…….

    It is just before Man City Vs Man Utd in the FA cup final at Wembley.

    Haaland goes into the Man City changing room to find all his team mates looking a bit glum.
    "What's up?" he asks.
    "Well, we're having trouble getting motivated for this game. We know it's important but it's only Man Utd. They're shite and we can't be bothered".
    Haaland looks at them and says "Well, I reckon I can beat these by myself, you lads go down the pub."

    So Haaland goes out to play Man Utd by himself and the rest of the Man City team go off for a few pints. After a few jars they wonder how the game is going, so they get the landlord to put the TV on. A big cheer goes up as the screen reads "Man City 2 - Man Utd 0 (Haaland 5, 10 minutes)". He is beating Man Utd all by himself!

    Anyway, a few more pints later and the game is forgotten until someone remembers "It must be full time now, let's see how he got on". They put the TV back on.
    "Result from Wembley Stadium "Man City 2 (Haaland 5, 10 minutes) - Man Utd 1"(Bruno Fernandes 89 minutes)".
    They can't believe it, he has single handedly beat Manchester United!!

    They rush back to the Stadium to congratulate him. They find him in the dressing room, still in his gear, sat with his head in his hands. He refuses to look at them.
    "I've let you down, I've let you down."
    "Don't be daft, you beat Man Utd all by yourself. And they only scored at the very very end"
    "No, No, I have, I've let you down...
    I got sent off after 12 minutes”

    Funny!

    Real life doesn't seem to be very much like that though, at the moment. Perhaps Erling's teammates are a liability.

  5. #5805
    Grand Master TaketheCannoli's Avatar
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    Lukaku has a better touch than the cyborg - shocking. City have been utter pony.

  6. #5806
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    Another 400/500m this summer and Citeh will be back on track.


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  7. #5807
    Quote Originally Posted by TaketheCannoli View Post
    We’re a blue household today - come on City!!

    Own a City shirt, I thought you are Toon army?

  8. #5808
    Grand Master TaketheCannoli's Avatar
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    It’s my daughter’s, it has ‘Houghton’ on the back as Steph’s her favourite ever player.

    Quote Originally Posted by noTAGlove View Post
    You got a City shirt? Thought you are Toon army?

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  9. #5809
    Grand Master ryanb741's Avatar
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    #pepout

  10. #5810
    Quote Originally Posted by TaketheCannoli View Post
    It’s my daughter’s, it has ‘Houghton’ on the back as Steph’s her favourite ever player.
    Makes sense. I was wondering.

  11. #5811
    Rashford looks like someone who knows he's just played his last game for the club...

  12. #5812
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    Quote Originally Posted by Martylaa View Post
    Rashford looks like someone who knows he's just played his last game for the club...
    Please God

  13. #5813
    Master thegoat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivan Drago View Post
    Another 400/500m this summer and Citeh will be back on track.


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    How much would your shower need then ?


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  14. #5814
    Master tiny73's Avatar
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    Well that aged well.

  15. #5815
    So has TH being sacked yet?

  16. #5816
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    Quote Originally Posted by thegoat View Post
    How much would your shower need then ?


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    Net ?


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  17. #5817
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    I think the better team won on the day. Happens sometimes. Though if the city keeper doesn’t make that error, the game could turn out very differently. Someone needs to tell him to take his glove off to shake hands too, but that’s a small point.

    Pep got his subs right, and they looked more dangerous with Doku. Over the moon for Mainoo, a definite plus for our season, the lad looks a real player.

  18. #5818
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    And Celtic beat The Filth again. Happy days😊

  19. #5819
    Master thegoat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivan Drago View Post
    Net ?


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    Look
    To put this to bed once and for all ( hopefully )
    Peps net spend versus bingo s .
    Peps trophies versus Bingo s .
    That’s it
    Pep / Klopp era my arse .


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  20. #5820
    That first half was the worst 45 minutes I've seen from City all season. Dreadful passing, not pressing enough and too much giving the ball away. Either the season finally caught up with them, they were still hung over from PL celebrations or they just had an off day. Doku made a difference in the 2nd half but not enough. Once he starts improving his moving closer to the box he's going to be some player.

    United the better team on the day and deserved winners. They actually played like a team today which hasn't happened very often lately. I kind of feel for Ten Hag if he gets the boot, the problems at United are deep rooted and they a shake up top to bottom.

  21. #5821
    Quote Originally Posted by sevvy View Post
    That first half was the worst 45 minutes I've seen from City all season. Dreadful passing, not pressing enough and too much giving the ball away. Either the season finally caught up with them, they were still hung over from PL celebrations or they just had an off day. Doku made a difference in the 2nd half but not enough. Once he starts improving his moving closer to the box he's going to be some player.

    United the better team on the day and deserved winners. They actually played like a team today which hasn't happened very often lately. I kind of feel for Ten Hag if he gets the boot, the problems at United are deep rooted and they a shake up top to bottom.
    A good assessment.

  22. #5822
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    So pleased for United, great to see the young lads hold composure and score the crucial goals, 8th in prem is bad but sacking TH now will undo all the good he has done in the background and with a first choice eleven MU are a totally different team, those injuries have certainly held them back, that said I think he might go.

    Pep sucking lemons in front of the interviews, I get no one likes losing but he needs to be more pragmatic and professional in loss, maybe "just" the prem is now not enough!

    Interesting times ahead for both Manchester clubs..

  23. #5823
    Happy united won, which is something I thought I would never say!

    For city just the PL isn’t enough


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  24. #5824
    Grand Master TaketheCannoli's Avatar
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    At the risk of sounding like a broken record, my god Haaland is a poor footballer who never turns up in the big games. His goal record in regular games cannot be disputed but he disappears in all the games that matter.

  25. #5825
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    Quote Originally Posted by thegoat View Post
    Look
    To put this to bed once and for all ( hopefully )
    Peps net spend versus bingo s .
    Peps trophies versus Bingo s .
    That’s it
    Pep / Klopp era my arse .


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    Is this a riddle ?


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  26. #5826
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    Quote Originally Posted by TaketheCannoli View Post
    At the risk of sounding like a broken record, my god Haaland is a poor footballer who never turns up in the big games. His goal record in regular games cannot be disputed but he disappears in all the games that matter.
    Haaland has 14 goals and 7 assists in 19 games against the premier league top 6.


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  27. #5827
    Grand Master TaketheCannoli's Avatar
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    No goals in domestic cup finals or in the semi finals or final of UCL for City.

    Quote Originally Posted by Ivan Drago View Post
    Haaland has 14 goals and 7 assists in 19 games against the premier league top 6.


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  28. #5828
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    Didn’t know that, interesting stat.

    Still a top top striker.


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  29. #5829
    Grand Master TaketheCannoli's Avatar
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    It’s weird isn’t it. He’s an absolute goal machine and does exactly what he gets paid for. But….there's something missing that I think will stop him being a great.

    Quote Originally Posted by Ivan Drago View Post
    Didn’t know that, interesting stat.

    Still a top top striker.


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  30. #5830
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    The worst united team ever but another trophy, funny game football ;)

    Hated
    Adored
    Never ignored


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  31. #5831
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    Absolutely the worst United team I’ve seen on paper and in real time !! How we managed to win the cup is a complete mystery ??

  32. #5832
    Quote Originally Posted by Browners View Post
    Absolutely the worst United team I’ve seen on paper and in real time !! How we managed to win the cup is a complete mystery ??
    It’s a cup final. Anything can happen.

  33. #5833
    Quote Originally Posted by Browners View Post
    Absolutely the worst United team I’ve seen on paper and in real time !! How we managed to win the cup is a complete mystery ??
    I thought they played with real grit and determination, and had an edge on the counter

    AWB turned Doku into Grealish.

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    Last edited by xxnick1975; 26th May 2024 at 13:50.

  34. #5834
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    It was more of a case that City had a really bad off day than Utd playing well. Our keeper is prone to clangers as in the goal conceded, how can a keeper get beat on the near post like that !! Our defence has no backbone and no dominant player who can organise others into defending as a unit. The midfield has no imagination to move the ball thru the field and hit that telling ball thru the opposing defence. Garnacho tries I’ll give him that, but he’s a bit of a headless chicken at times unlike Foden who oozes class. Rashford has just disappeared into no man’s land with some shocking performances from him in the last 2yrs. I cannot think of a worse team than this even Ron Atkinsons side had a little bit more of an attacking flair. I would luv to hear Fergies honest opinion with no cameras rolling, I’m sure it’ll be very similar to Keane’s version. Utd’s fall from the top two has been 10yrs in the making and we’re at least 2seasons at best behind the top 3 even with a new manager and 3 or 4 good signings. It saddens me to say it but I think the next title we win is a good few years away yet.

  35. #5835
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    From yesterday’s United squad can anyone put a genuine reason as to any player that would get a regular first team place in any of Fergie's teams along side G Neville, Pallister, Scholes, Stam, Hughes, Van Nistleroy, Keane, Cole, Butt etc etc we’ve not got one world class player that City would even entertain an interview let alone sign.

  36. #5836
    Grand Master ryanb741's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Browners View Post
    From yesterday’s United squad can anyone put a genuine reason as to any player that would get a regular first team place in any of Fergie's teams along side G Neville, Pallister, Scholes, Stam, Hughes, Van Nistleroy, Keane, Cole, Butt etc etc we’ve not got one world class player that City would even entertain an interview let alone sign.
    Bruno Fernandes would get into City's team.

  37. #5837
    I’d hang on to Fernandes, Dalot, McTominay, Hojlund, Garnacho and Mainoo. The remainder should be moved on because they are: decent but made of glass (Martinez, Mount, Shaw); at the end of their careers; flawed personalities or just not good enough. It’s been a long haul since 2013 and still some years to go.


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  38. #5838
    Grand Master TaketheCannoli's Avatar
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    You’ve won five major trophies since 2013 which is hardly poor in relative terms is it. That’s one every other season FFS.

    Quote Originally Posted by BillyCasper View Post
    I’d hang on to Fernandes, Dalot, McTominay, Hojlund, Garnacho and Mainoo. The remainder should be moved on because they are: decent but made of glass (Martinez, Mount, Shaw); at the end of their careers; flawed personalities or just not good enough. It’s been a long haul since 2013 and still some years to go.


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  39. #5839
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    A combination of idleness and apathy left me watching the recap of the Cup Final on News at Ten with the subtitles running.
    The subtitle software can't cope with "Doku".

    The bemused audience was left bewildered by the subtitle "City brought Dr. Who on at half time but he still wasn't enough to turn the game around".

  40. #5840
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    Quote Originally Posted by BillyCasper View Post
    ...decent but made of glass (Martinez, Mount, Shaw)...
    I'm with you on Shaw, when he's good he's great but he's out way too often. And he takes a good few weeks to get back to best too. I was at OT for one of his many returns from injury and he was 'rotund' at best.

    I don't remember Mount or Martinez as being injury prone before they came to us though. Maybe that's just me not taking enough interest in them. I'd definitely take a chance on keeping Martinez though.

  41. #5841
    Martinez is good when he plays, hardly at all this season. I think he played about 25 Premiership games last season for United and 25 in each of his preceding three seasons with Ajax.

    For the spine of the team, I think you need resilient and reliably available players.



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  42. #5842
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    Quote Originally Posted by ryanb741 View Post
    Bruno Fernandes would get into Arsenals team.

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  43. #5843
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    Quote Originally Posted by MakeColdplayHistory View Post
    I'm with you on Shaw, when he's good he's great but he's out way too often. And he takes a good few weeks to get back to best too. I was at OT for one of his many returns from injury and he was 'rotund' at best.

    I don't remember Mount or Martinez as being injury prone before they came to us though. Maybe that's just me not taking enough interest in them. I'd definitely take a chance on keeping Martinez though.
    That number 7 shirt must be really heavy for Mount. Poor lamb!


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  44. #5844
    Grand Master ryanb741's Avatar
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    Isak off to Arsenal with Smith Rowe, Ramsdale and a bunch of cash going the other way.

  45. #5845
    Grand Master ryanb741's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thegoat View Post
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    He absolutely would get into our team. He walks into yours as well.

    The rest of the Rags - not so much.

  46. #5846
    Grand Master TaketheCannoli's Avatar
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    Not a chance.

    Quote Originally Posted by ryanb741 View Post
    Isak off to Arsenal with Smith Rowe, Ramsdale and a bunch of cash going the other way.

  47. #5847
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    Quote Originally Posted by ryanb741 View Post
    He absolutely would get into our team. He walks into yours as well.

    The rest of the Rags - not so much.
    For who ?
    He doesn’t get into City’s team on ability .
    His moaning and theatrical performances make him an embarrassment to the game .


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  48. #5848
    Grand Master ryanb741's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thegoat View Post
    For who ?
    He doesn’t get into City’s team on ability .
    His moaning and theatrical performances make him an embarrassment to the game .


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    I'd play him in the Foden role and move Foden either left (ahead of Doku) or right (ahead of Silva).

  49. #5849
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    Quote Originally Posted by ryanb741 View Post
    I'd play him in the Foden role and move Foden either left (ahead of Doku) or right (ahead of Silva).
    OK
    I’m assuming you’d also play Garnacho in the Saka role ?

    Maybe you should go back to following Southampton ?


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  50. #5850
    Grand Master ryanb741's Avatar
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    No but I'd take Garnacho over Martinelli.

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