Six little letters...

[jacinabox]

...that'll turn your life upside down, inside out and give you the kicking of your life. Yes, cancer in my case lung cancer.

So, how did it come to that? Spring 2022 I had a dose of Covid, took a long time to recover and all sorts of minor health issues cropped up. GP who is great ran lots of tests to rule out this that and the other and came to loose diagnosis that it was probably long covid.
From my POV, I had nothing 'sinister' so took a pragmatic view that I had a 'new normal' and got on best as I could.

Another dose of Covid early last year, seemed no more than a light cold but left feeling rather battered and by summer time very fatigued with a pile of niggling issues and worsening shortness breath.
Back to GP in late Autumn knowing something was really not right. Off for a scan and my whole world lit up when the radiographer pressed the cancer button!

The often derided NHS truly swung into action - a whirlwind of hospital appointments, bronchoscopy, more scans including a PET scan with radio active fluid injected which showed the tumour glowing brightly and, unhappily, a thyroid issue, it's inflamed and no-one is quite sure why but more tests on going.

I'll admit to being a little cavalier when told what was found...it was another crappy episode of life to deal with. I've written in the past of dealing with my son's 25 years of drug abuse (and he's still not clean) Granddaughter dying of meningitis, pets dying...it's all been a bit grim.

The cancer I see as a crappy little cherry on my crappy little cake and just wish I could knock all these long covid symptoms on the head and be a little stronger both physically and mentally to cope with the more serious issue.

Great support from lung specialist nurse, absolutely brilliant. 'Maggies' a local cancer charity, in fact anyone in the NHS I've had contact with.

Family life has been rather fraught. First of all my son is back in my home after his partner rightly threw him out...I can't stand it and feel I'm walking a tightrope just trying to hold myself together. Secondly, a lot of upset happened when I had to make a decision over treatment.
Surgery to remove section of lung is the gold standard. I've turned 70 now and just don't feel fit enough to recover from it. Plus I'm in the age group where the risk of complications is higher...
I have no fears about the operation but the thought of a stroke fills me with terror.

So radiotherapy is my choice whereas my wife thinks and (still hopes) I'll go off to get 'unzipped' while they chop a bit of me out...

Finally a little irony perhaps; I was 70 last summer and a neighbour appeared with a few bottles of celebratory beer. We sat on a bench and watched the sun go down. He asked me what it was like to hit 70?
Same as every other year, I said except I suppose having got away for so long without any serious health issues I must be in the zone for something soon. Didn't expect this!

Wordy? Sorry, it was cathartic though. Spelling and grammar sorry too!

Advice or words of wisdom/experience will be appreciated :)

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[chrisdobson45]

Thank you for your honest words, you’ve certainly been through the mill in recent times. I admire your fortitude.

I have no words of wisdom, although I have been living with cancer since April 2022 so can understand your attitude. I was 56 when diagnosed and elected for surgery and radiotherapy in August 2022, and needed further radiotherapy last summer as this bloody cancer wouldn’t do one.

I’ve tried to remain realistic but positive, for the good of others and for myself, I’m sure that a positive attitude is part of a positive outcome. This has, at times, driven those closest to me to distraction.

On the whole, the NHS has been magnificent, there have been moments of frustration but it’s been good when it’s really mattered.

The best piece of advice I was given was by my surgeon, stay away from the internet, especially at times like tonight when sleep eludes me. There’s a lot of misinformation about my condition.

Good luck, stay positive and don’t be afraid to talk about it…

[Ruggertech]

Blimey guys my heart goes out to you both. Having had a serious health issue myself recently (a PE not the big C), I too found the NHS to be excellent, both at the time and in my ongoing treatment. The front line staff truly are angels.
Wishing you all the best in your ongoing battles and treatment, please keep us updated.

[learningtofly]

I can only echo the above. Heart goes out to you, and I wish you the very best for a positive outcome.

[tz-uk73]

Very sorry to read this. I can understand why it’s helpful to share, and would encourage you to keep doing so. We are largely just a bunch of strangers of course, but we are all here because we share a common interest and friendships can and are definitely made here. Try to keep positive,I’m sure it puts all the small stuff we sweat in to perspective. All the best, and keep talking.

[hogthrob]

Really sorry to hear this. Not much I can say to help, other than send my wishes for the best possible outcome.

[Reeny]

Small goals are instantly achievable, so aiming to close off one easy step at a time can work well. Next scan, next appointment etc.

Having a fully committed family helps with support at home, and to focus on the positives.
Keep your pecker up.

[Passenger]

All the best and glad the process of posting was cathartic...statistically I understand it's about a 50/50 chance of some kind of a cancer diagnosis for those of us born since 1970, basically cos I think we all live so long nowadays, though there may well be other factors. The good old 3 score and 10, always worth I believe being mindful of.

[Griswold]

So sorry to hear this, both of you. Difficult to find words to say, but stay strong and trust the doctors and nurses, they know what they are doing. My daughter-in-law was diagnosed with C last year, lots of help from the NHS, both medically and supportively, radiotherapy suppressed it and, following latest tests, she’s currently clear. Hoping all goes equally well for both of you.

[vagabond]

Best wishes to you both - I can only admire your fortitude and resilience.

[Brian]

So sorry to hear of your situation.
Find something to get you off the tightrope - can you exercise for say 25 mins per day alone, listening to some music. It worked for me in a similar ( but never the same ) situation. It just allowed me to keep sane that's all. It allowed me to get on with the day to day whilst retaining my dignity. Routine, routine, routine; same time everyday. I know you can never destress but i found it helped.
I agree with your perspective on the medicine - never lose that approach.


B

[reggie747]

Sorry to hear this. Not a great post and not a great time for you just now.
Best wishes.

[jmarchitect]

I was sorry to read of your diagnosis fella and will echo what I said in my message. I hope you have a clear path forward and have great support.

[number2]

Sorry to hear your news David, life throws us curved balls too often, stay strong for all the cuts the NHS has taken they're still a truly amazing bunch.

All the best.

Paul.

[Linocut]

Sorry to read this. it’s sometimes difficult to remember on a forum built around unnecessary and sometimes luxury items that people on here are real and have real world issues to deal with. Is there any chance that this might touch your son somewhere inside and spur him on to help you and you can go forward together in some way? I’ve had some issues recently and I’ve been amazed at the support from my two lads.


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[jacinabox]

Not having a happy day and not too in the mood for writing. However, I do feel the need to acknowledge all of your responses...truly is kind and helpful, thank you all for taking the time to reply.

When my head is little less chaotic and the demons take a break I'll try to add a little more.

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[Neil.C]

So sorry to hear of your travails mate.

All I can do is send my very best wishes to you and to all on TZ-UK including our founder Eddie who are suffering medical issues at the moment.

[Chris_in_the_UK]

Sorry to read this - tough times for sure.

Sometimes it must feel almost overwhelming, stay strong and best wishes.

[oldoakknives]

Sorry to hear that, I hope sharing it helps a bit. Although most of us don’t know each other personally on the forum we are bound by common interests and broadly common values. I hope things go as well as they can for you from here, there are some great people in the NHS and hopefully they can advise you well.

[brigant]

Sorry to hear about your problems. I was diagnosed with cancer about 4 years ago but luckily caught it early on. Fixed with radiotherapy just before covid struck so I'm lucky. Hope you can work your way through. Best wishes.

[Jimmcb]

My respect and sincere wish for better and happier times to you both.

Jim

[earlofsodbury]

... it's all been a bit grim. ...

You, sir, are a master of heroic understatement!

So sorry to read of all your many and various woes. I can offer nothing more than my utmost sympathy. I'm worse-than-useless in these situations, as my head is permanently deeply buried in the deepest sand-dune I can find where health matters are concerned, and the NHS effortlessly fobs-off my rare forays.

All I can say is sharing is a great way forwards - thanks to the wit and wisdom of many on here (and elsewhere). It's good to talk

[farquare]

To give a little upside, although not entirely that same.

4 years ago I had a fair chunk of lung removed.

Apart from a small scar and the drain tube hole I'm no worse off and carry on as usual.

Recovery was tricky, but I also had a handful of broken ribs at the time.

Good luck

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[RLE]

Pretty much mirrors my mums symptoms last year. Coincidentally she had just turned 70 too. Initially thought Covid and early GP appointments did not suggest anything sinister. She has Coeliac disease and rarely feels 100% these days so I too was perhaps a little dismissive. Roll on a few months and further tests confirmed her lung cancer diagnosis just before Xmas, stage 2 tumour 46mm from memory.

She opted for surgery. Top third removed in early in 2023. Whilst in recovery and due to the size of the tumour removed, she was offered a recommended 12 week course of chemo which, after some debating, she decided to do. She’s had a few CT scans since and although the treatment was considered a success, there is a small amount of shadowing on her other lung which needs reviewing. For now though the Consultants are not particularly concerned.

I could obviously go in to a lot more detail but know everyone’s a little different when it comes to hearing specifics so I won’t assume you want chapter and verse regarding surgery, recovery etc. That said if you do want any information, I’m sure my mum would be happy to answer any questions. I know she found comfort in speaking to others that were going through the same and it did allay some of her initial fears. Don’t blame her for it, but I don’t think she quite felt like any of here family or friends could ever understand the range of her feelings or mental anguish.

Thinking of you and your family. Stay positive and if you do need anything please feel free to reach out.

[JeremyO]

Jacinabox, I feel for you having experienced the same.

I had bowel cancer in 2018, part of colon removed at the time, and monitoring by way of annual CT scans for a 5 year period.

In 2020 the CT scan showed that I had a shadow on my right lung so further tests were undertaken.

The NHS were brilliant, lung cancer was diagnosed and it was recommended that I have surgery to remove part of the affected lung. All options were explained to me and I opted for this course of action.

The operation was undertaken successfully and I have annual CT scans to monitor the situation. These scans have shown that there has been no recurrence of the cancer to date and I’m keeping my fingers crossed for the future!

I was 69 when the cancer was diagnosed and I had no issues with the recovery from surgery and feel quite well these days.

I hope the treatment you receive is as good as I experienced and wish you well in your recovery.

If you have any questions or need any further info then feel free to contact me direct.

[noTAGlove]

It is never a great time for the big C.

I had my episode 20 years ago when I was 35 and my kids were aged 1 and 4. We had also gone into rented accommodation when we sold our house, just before it all kicked off, which added to the fun.

At the time it was the first thing I thought about when I woke up each morning, to the last thing I thought about when I went to bed.

Testicular type that is usually easily cured by lopping a bollock off, except mine had metastasised and I had tumours in my body.

Three months of chemo, my righty had to go, and major abdominal resection surgery followed.

Hang in there fella. Hopefully it helps with stories to show that you are not alone.

[Bendigits]

Diagnosed in the summer at 45 with bowel cancer. Diagnosis not wonderful so….in for an operation to remove part of it. Some complications and 9 1/2 hours later it’s out…recovery has been pretty rough. Just started a phased return to work but have been told it could well return. Cancer is a proper head scratcher but I do know that the more I discussed with friends and loved ones the more manageable it is. Much love.


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[Thewatchbloke]

Your summary has put any "problems" of mine firmly into perspective. I send my heartfelt best wishes to you for a successful outcome to this particular episode of life.

[jacinabox]

'Thank you' seem's so inadequate to all those who've posted of their own personal experiences and of those who are close to them who have travelled this horrible journey. To those also who've offered support via PM's I'm genuinely touched and so very grateful.
You're now known as Band of Brothers 2...Band of Brothers 1 is my mens weekly cancer meeting at 'Maggies' cancer charity!

Just now, and even though I've chosen my method of treatment, it's a rotten roller coaster of emotions. Acceptance, denial, frustration, terror, anger, resentment and recently rage...my son who I can't shake off has now announced he has MS (I doubt it) After words yesterday he's now out of my house and gone 'dark' not answering his phone. That's wife with fear written all over her face not knowing where he is and knowing with reasonable confidence that he's probably out of it on drugs - so very unfair as she's sharing the same seat as me on this ride. But that's 'Mother's Love' for you regarding the selfish son.

I'm trying hard to cling to some positivity in all this. I am fortunate that it's been caught early and is treatable, I have some excellent medical professionals supporting me both physically and mentally. But I still question wether I should face my fears and opt for surgery. I just don't think I can...I have nightmares about having a stroke if that's where I go. I wake up wrapped up and unable to move in sweat soaked sheets with a vision of me in a chair as a stroke victim. Dignity and pride plus an unwillingness to be a mill-stone around my wife's neck. Lack of courage? daft? For those who've had a stroke you have my sympathy, I have friend who's had one and I simply do not want to be like that.

The 'dignity' thing - as part of my assessment for surgery I had to do a timed walking test. When I arrived at the hospital they insisted on sticking me in a wheelchair to take me to a long corridor to do the test. It was too much and the tears flowed. Don't know if it was because of the enormity of the situation hit me or pride and dignity got in the way - another daft thing?

I've met people, all well intentioned, who start a conversation with 'living with cancer' No, I've flipped it to 'cancer lives with me' Perhaps analogous to a lodger in my home - if I've had enough your out. That's become my mantra now and I feel I have some sort of control.

Equally I have friends and relatives who are familiar with our trials of dealing with son who tell me 'you've dealt with tough stuff, dig deep and you'll be fine' If that's a reference to a mythical reserve of inner strength, it's gone, every little bit.
There are times when it feels overwhelming, but a self administered kick in the back end and a quiet few minutes repeating my new ground mantra see's me back on the right side of this 'edge'

I'll get there, but there are some crappy issues that if gone would make it a little easier.

It's taken best part of today to cobble this together and I do feel a touch better for having splurged. It's not meant to be attention or sympathy seeking - I can't do much with either!

Although I value everyone's contribution, Mr Earl of Sodbury's comment " heroic master of understatement" comment did raise a smile; a wry one perhaps, but a smile nonetheless!

Enjoy your weekend all :)

Usual seeking forgiveness for spelling and grammar.










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