What car, but it has to be cheap and boring!

[adigra]

I have two aging 911 turbos and my wife has replaced her Smart with an A45 AMG, so as a family we are very far from practical. I want to buy a practical, cheap "beater", but not necessarily a shed, just something reliable and cheap to run, insure and tax that I can bomb around in during the winter and when picking up people I don't trust. No idea on the budget, maybe as much as a half decent watch. For instance I'd love a Skoda Yeti, but aside from it not being cheap, my wife has vetoed it. I think I want an estate and it really has to have room for four adults, otherwise we're back where we started.

Any ideas?

[catflem]

Volvo V70, D5 if you want to run it on a budget, T5 if you want it to go a bit faster

[M4tt]

The A Class Merc, pre 2012 was finally a decent car and is astonishingly cheap for what you get and to run, but for a better than it should be beater, the Fiat Panda is hard to beat especially n the 100BHP or FWD variants.

[gorrie]

I run a 2009 Mini Clubman Cooper D as my ‘beater’. Great for chucking the footballs in, doing runs to the skip, and throwing the dog in.
Cheap to buy, £30 road tax, £50 in the tank lasts a lifetime.
They have a tendency to rust on the rear barn doors though (mine are rusty but hey, we call it patina round these parts don’t we).

[pugster]

skoda octavia vrs - runs forever, plenty of room and moves pretty quick.

[hogthrob]

skoda octavia vrs - runs forever, plenty of room and moves pretty quick.

A Skoda VRS is the natural progression from a Corsa with loud exhaust and cheap alloys.

[bloater]

Mondeo estate, or a Volvo estate would be my suggestions

[snowman]

A Skoda VRS is the natural progression from a Corsa with loud exhaust and cheap alloys.

Surely that is a Ford Focus ST?

I had a mk1 Octavia (Never had a Corsa ) and it was one of my favourite cars - Not thrilling, but quick enough, capable enough, quite economical and very practical.

I had mine from new to over 90K miles and only usual wear and tear issues (except for a set of faulty coils, replaced on a recall, which all the VAG cars had at the time, not specifically a Skoda issue).

I replaced it with a Mazda RX8, which was very enjoyable to drive, a bit quicker, surprisingly practical if not VERY and horribly uneconomical! - I kept that for 11 years though and only sold it to get a load-lugger for diving

I'd have an Octavia today, but they're quite expensive these days (isn't everything, though...?)

Surely if you want boring, it should be a Toyota or a Vauxhall of some sort? Or maybe a Korean car (Kia/Hyundai)? Although most do make at least one vaguely interesting car.

M

[stefmcd]

skoda octavia vrs - runs forever, plenty of room and moves pretty quick.

Not even slightly boring!

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[Bravo73]

I think I want an estate and it really has to have room for four adults, otherwise we're back where we started.

Any ideas?

Saab 9-3 or 9-5 estate. Just depends on how big you want it, really.

[pete-r]

Lexus IS250 SE-L

Audi build, Mercedes comfort and Toyota reliability.

[adigra]

Lots of good suggestions! Thanks. That's what I was hoping for so now I can spend hours digging thorough the classifieds. Keep it coming!

[xellos99]

Renault Clio DCI, MK 3 onwards. About £30 tax, 60 mpg, cheap parts, easy to service yourself with basic tools.

Or more up market a VW Passat tdi of some kind

[Watchmanuk4]

Saab 9-3 or 9-5 estate. Just depends on how big you want it, really.

1.8t engine is actually an undertuned 2.0. Simple remap and you have a decent cheap non-shed.

[Chicken Pox]

I have two aging 911 turbos and my wife has replaced her Smart with an A45 AMG, so as a family we are very far from practical. I want to buy a practical, cheap "beater", but not necessarily a shed, just something reliable and cheap to run, insure and tax that I can bomb around in during the winter and when picking up people I don't trust. No idea on the budget, maybe as much as a half decent watch. For instance I'd love a Skoda Yeti, but aside from it not being cheap, my wife has vetoed it. I think I want an estate and it really has to have room for four adults, otherwise we're back where we started.

Any ideas?

Not sure your definition of half decent but how about something like this:
https://www.autotrader.co.uk/car-det...sort=price-asc

Of if okay with higher mileage
https://www.autotrader.co.uk/car-det...sort=price-asc

[Mj2k]

Smart to AMG lol, a bit of a jump.

We love our 453 2 seater, wish I went brabus; but can’t imagine that jump to the 45, love it!

[adigra]

Smart to AMG lol, a bit of a jump.

We love our 453 2 seater, wish I went brabus; but can’t imagine that jump to the 45, love it!

She got really tired of being bullied on the road and I couldn't blame her. She says it just doesn't happen at all now. Her car has the full aero pack, so wings galore, and she drives it in sport plus. Proper chav.

[aa388]

She got really tired of being bullied on the road and I couldn't blame her. She says it just doesn't happen at all now. Her car has the full aero pack, so wings galore, and she drives it in sport plus. Proper chav.

That’s the only way to drive one !!!


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[wileeeeeey]

She got really tired of being bullied on the road and I couldn't blame her. She says it just doesn't happen at all now. Her car has the full aero pack, so wings galore, and she drives it in sport plus. Proper chav.

I’ve had three Smart fortwos, I love them, but you do get bullied in them - no question.

[thieuster]

Sounds like the ideal use case for a Honda Jazz or Civic, reasonable space, performance & servicing costs, & being a Honda it won’t go wrong.

If bigger is needed add the CRV to the mix.

^^^ this ^^^ CR-Vs are rare as hen's teeth here in the Netherlands, but I know that they're pretty common in the UK. You can easily transport 4 adults in that car without cramped legs etc.

I’ve had three Smart fortwos, I love them, but you do get bullied in them - no question.

A friend had the same 'problem'. He's currently solving that problem. He's awaiting delivery of a BMW Alpina B3 Touring...

[Mj2k]

I’ve had three Smart fortwos, I love them, but you do get bullied in them - no question.

Yes, but so much fun leaving them behind in the twisties after they have assumed you cannot drive. They still come haring back on the straights though.

Nobody lets me out of a junction in the smart or the Porsche it seems. I have got used to waiting.

[adigra]

Oh, I should've mentioned, it really should be an automatic of some kind. Both my cars are manual, so I really want the polar opposite.

Regarding the Smart. I drove it a lot and I found it amusing when people tried to bully me on the road, but I am an ugly, large weightlifter, so as soon as they see me they do that thing where they stare at some point in the distance to avoid eye contact. It's quite different when you're a woman. A couple of final instances really rattled her as both times they were determined to overtake her where there was no room and nearly ran her off the road. One of them was after she overtook them on the bypass, which obviously was such a threat to his manhood he undertook her on the roundabout from the turning lane. After that she said she wanted something fast and aggressive.

Both my Porsches are old, so even the newer one gets let in at junctions, etc., but the old one, the 930, everyone smiles and lets me in. It's like some kinda magic pass being in that car.

[stefmcd]

Focus estate.

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[Captain Morgan]

Sounds like the ideal use case for a Honda Jazz or Civic, reasonable space, performance & servicing costs, & being a Honda it won’t go wrong.

If bigger is needed add the CRV to the mix.

[tixntox]

Kia Sportage 1.7 diesel. 55 mpg and built like a tank. Ultra reliable if serviced on time. Very roomy and if you get up to the Mk3, no electrical gremlins. After that, they went all electrickery and overgreen.

[RobDad]

Sounds like the ideal use case for a Honda Jazz or Civic, reasonable space, performance & servicing costs, & being a Honda it won’t go wrong.

If bigger is needed add the CRV to the mix.

My mother has a Jazz and like every Japanese car I’ve ever sat in the seats are incredibly uncomfortable - I can’t sit in it for more than 15 mins without getting a sore back. However I’m tall and heavy so I don’t think I’m what the designers had in mind!


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[adrianw]

Lexus all day long, choose whichever model, boring, economic, all of the toys, and will never go wrong

[Captain Morgan]

My mother has a Jazz and like every Japanese car I’ve ever sat in the seats are incredibly uncomfortable - I can’t sit in it for more than 15 mins without getting a sore back. However I’m tall and heavy so I don’t think I’m what the designers had in mind!


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Interesting, we have Civics mk8 & 10 and have driven the Hook of Holland to Zell am See and back in each multiple times and not been a problem and I’m no racing snake.

[hogthrob]

My mother has a Jazz and like every Japanese car I’ve ever sat in the seats are incredibly uncomfortable - I can’t sit in it for more than 15 mins without getting a sore back. However I’m tall and heavy so I don’t think I’m what the designers had in mind!

I'm tall and heavy, and the seats in my Jazz are fine. They're great town cars (if you can accept the image), and you can fit an insane amount of stuff in them. Slightly out of their comfort zone on motorways.

[RobDad]

I'm tall and heavy, and the seats in my Jazz are fine. They're great town cars (if you can accept the image), and you can fit an insane amount of stuff in them. Slightly out of their comfort zone on motorways.

Oh I agree they are well packaged and very practical, just find the seats lack support (which I’ve never found in any of the Volvos and VW’s I’ve owned ) - might just be my back back then?


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[Ivan Drago]

Can’t go wrong with a Tiguan.


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[mijyou]

Subaru Outback

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[DONGinsler]

Based on your 3 current cars

Your definition of a half decent watch may be far removed from others definition.

Any American UK models?

Ford Fiesta 4 door



Or the ST model

DON

[adigra]

It's funny how this thread seems to keep up with my own meandering through the classifieds. Subaru Outback was my latest rabbit hole.

What I'd really like is this: https://www.pistonheads.com/buy/listing/13060759 but I think I'd probably end up loving it and it would become just another car to take care of. I tend to anthropomorphise cars and end up feeling bad neglecting them.

As for the half decent watch, I realise that is kind of open to interpretation, but I was thinking of something like Marinemaster 300, coincidentally one of my favourite watches. But let's say £3k-ish.

[Mj2k]

You would have to look after that Merc. It would be a waste to not do so and therefore won’t meet what you need from the car!

Buy it anyway!

[A440]

I'd suggest getting a Ford. They're relatively inexpensive, reliable (IME), cheap to maintain, nobody wants to steal them. Come in lots of shapes and sizes and levels of trim. I like the Mondeo personally.

[Ivan Drago]

I'd suggest getting a Ford. They're relatively inexpensive, reliable (IME), cheap to maintain, nobody wants to steal them. Come in lots of shapes and sizes and levels of trim. I like the Mondeo personally.

Fords are the most stolen cars in the UK !


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[murkeywaters]

Octavia diesel estate, I love mine for just being so practical and good at what it does plus I don’t worry where I park, good on tax for an oil burner and cheap insurance.

If that has sold it to you then I’ll agree on a straight swap with the 930

[MattMM]

I’d concur with some of the above and recommend going with renowned reliable diesels. The VW group 1.9 TDI is a great unit and you’d get into a Passat or Octavia for your budget, the Volvo D5 is also a brilliant engine, good for interstellar miles.

I had a similar quandary to yourself when starting a short-term contract last year, and went down the Volvo D5 route, but not the V70, which for me is a bit barge-like. My “boring” estate of choice:



Loved it so much, didn’t change it when I got converted to permanent. Bombproof, practical and can give 3L Germanic diesels a fright with mid-range grunt.

[watchstudent]

I’d concur with some of the above and recommend going with renowned reliable diesels. The VW group 1.9 TDI is a great unit and you’d get into a Passat or Octavia for your budget, the Volvo D5 is also a brilliant engine, good for interstellar miles.

I had a similar quandary to yourself when starting a short-term contract last year, and went down the Volvo D5 route, but not the V70, which for me is a bit barge-like. My “boring” estate of choice:



Loved it so much, didn’t change it when I got converted to permanent. Bombproof, practical and can give 3L Germanic diesels a fright with mid-range grunt.

Is that the V60? How is the boot in those?

[MattMM]

Is that the V60? How is the boot in those?

V60, and boot is decent, competitive with A4 Avant or BMW 3 series, not in the same ballpark as a Superb or E Class. Flat lip, easy to load. Stock image below (my boot could do with a vac) :

[adigra]

Just came back from Goodwood and my 997 has developed a boost leak, so I'm down to the 930 as my only car (I know, I can hear the small violin playing), which is making this whole idea even more prudent.

Yeah, that Mercedes is so cool and I am genuinely interested, but I have no garaging for it and I think it would deteriorate quite fast out in the elements. I have a friend who has a Jazz for the same reasons I describe so I've circled back around to it... I think I am finding this thought process more difficult as usually I've always had a clear idea. Like the 930, there was no other consideration, it was my dream since childhood and no practicalities or costs of ownership came into it. I just had to find the best. With this I feel like I'm buying it for someone else.

[Craig]

I love our CR-V, great for family duties, not worrying where I park etc. Built like a tank and feels like it will go on forever. Trouble is everything looks overpriced to me these days, my head is stuck in 18 months ago prices when I paid £11.5k for a low mileage 5 year old diesel 4WD. Same car today 18 months older is at least 13k. Bonkers.

If it wasn’t for towing a caravan I would go for a petrol 2WD version like this:
https://www.autotrader.co.uk/car-det...02206237094165

[adrianw]

There’s always a clio 182-197 great fun, costs nothing to fix if you break it and the most fun you’ll ever have

[Saint-Just]

... and of course the Jag is on a road marking saying "SLOW"...

[adigra]

Mazda 6 is a really good suggestion. I keep seeing them on the road around here and it looks like a great option.

The budget is adjustable... My wife is trying to rein me in as I do have a tendency to get carried away. But let's say I'd go up to 6-ish...

I have a dislike of modern Jaguar that doesn't have much to do with the cars themselves. My father-in-law has been hanging onto a shed of an X-type for at least 5-6 years too long and I just have nightmarish visions of me turning into him...

[squashy1]

I second the Insignia had one since 2015 and still going strong Sri 2Ltr diesel no road tax 70 miles to the gallon on a run what more could you ask.

[Noaksey]

Got my 2011 CRV after a quick Internet search and some good advice on here

Petrol automatic

Jobs a good un so far

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[Peter franks]

Mazda 6 Estate
Cheap and boring but utterly reliable and I can squeeze 4 metre decking boards into mine

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[murkeywaters]

Mazda 6 Estate
Cheap and boring but utterly reliable and I can squeeze 4 metre decking boards into mine

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Tough cars too, my old Mazda 6 got rear ended by a Jag and although my 6 was wrote off I did drive away but the Jag came out worse, dont think my tow bar helped the Jag!