Reply With QuoteAh the regimental ring spanner !!
Ooops !!
B
I saw this flagged up on one of the car forums I visit :)
Ah the regimental ring spanner !!
Ooops !!
B
He was tightening his nuts…
I broke my hand several years ago and couldn’t get my wedding ring off, it was cut off with one of those diamond finger spun cutters at hospital and took well over 1/2 hour to cut through. The heat build up was quite bad and it was a relief to finally see it part….i can only imagine the pain having ones storm trooper stuck in the end of a ring spanner and the ensuing heat caused by the friction. I guess its a chance you take….
My Brother in law got up to go to the toilet in the night, and while returning to the bedroom and navigating the two steps down in the upper landing........................
pitched forward and IMPALED his side on the bedroom doorhandle !!!!!
I kid you not - the handle lever went straight into his side between ribs and hip !!!!
A quick bandage up and off to Winchester then Basingstoke A&E where they waited for around 12hrs for surgery.
My dear old dad woke up in the early hours of the morning on the bathroom floor with a sore head and a sore scrote, he was really confused and couldn't work out what had happened at first
Eventually he remembered that in the middle of the night he had heard water dripping so went into his recently installed bathroom to check it and whilst under the sink checking for leaks and stark naked one of his cats had seen something dangling/swinging and lashed a clawed paw at it, resulting in him jumping up and knocking himself out on the bottom of the sink
Thanks, as a long-time cat owner, that gave me a good old laugh!!Originally Posted by Liner33
That folded me like a map!
^^^ Haha and ouch x2
Some years ago, sitting on the edge of my sofa in my dressing gown, eating cereal whilst watching the news, I was subjected to a stealth attack by one of our cats who had slid under the sofa on her back, scooted forward, spied my ‘nads swinging freely and took a swipe. The cereal decorated the ceiling as I achieved maximum vertical velocity in the blink of a cats claw and the cat beat a hasty exit. I loved that cat but the Neanderthal brain had switched on so it’s a good job she ran off. I developed a lump in my groin shortly after and the doctor was at first unsure why. When he asked if I had received any injuries in my legs recently I told him about the bollock attack and he instantly said I had experienced ‘cat scratch fever’. I never knew it was a thing.
I broke/sprained my toe the Saturday before last.
I was walking in my lounge, and for some unknown reason I curled my big toe under my foot and stood on it - after an audible crack and much swearing I gingerly took of my sock and saw not much wrong with it.
By bed time it was very black and swollen and over the next couple of days the internal bruising spread to the next toe. It's still properly sore when I move it or bang it in to something, or as happens twice a day - a kid stands on it.
Sprained both ankles and broke 2 bones in my foot while attempting to go through my front door completely sober.
Went over on one ankle, tried to recover on the other but the force I went on it with cracked the bones and then sprained as I tried to remove the weight.
Came back in a cast from A&E & promptly fell through the front door and sprained my wrist as I failed with the physics of getting through the door & over the step. Was a fun day 8 weeks before our wedding.
Another occasion shortly after being married, slipped at the top of the stairs - ‘luckily’ managed to grab onto the hand rail as the stairs turned the corner and save myself from the full flight.
I say luckily. I effectively swung my whole body weight on one arm, damaging my shoulder ligaments and pulling muscles before my ribs then swung around with my body and smashed into the next solid vertical part of the hand rail. 2 ribs cracked from that and still remember the pain of trying to go around left hand bends in sports seats.
Once managed to barefoot kick the corner of an internal wall so that my little toe went one side and the rest of my foot the other. A broken little toe resulted and half my foot went black from bruising.
Last weekend, staying in an AirBnB turned over half asleep in the middle of the night to face the edge of the bed and somehow slammed my teeth and lip into the edge of the bedside table which was right up against the bed. Thought I had broken my tooth but ended up with just a cut lip and blood all over the sheets and my face.
Not so strange but I pulled a boiling pan of water over myself as a toddler with predictable results.
Used to be rather common as I understand it
Luckily scaring was minimal - did nothing to improve my looks though.
Later in life I blew myself up with a gas BBQ.
A jammed valve resulted in me going up in a ball of flame. I would not mind but everyone thought it was funny and nobody tried to help.
No eyebrows or arm and leg hair for weeks after that!
I use coal only now.
Had a summer job as a hospital porter back in the 80's and I'll always remember some fella coming into casualty with a roll on deodorant stuck up inside his backside!
Sent from my VOG-L29 using TZ-UK mobile app
You would be amazed how many people fall on objects naked.
RIAC
A mates wife used to be a nurse and told us of quite a few "accidents" that allowed strange and wonderful objects including all sorts of fruits to find there way into the bodies private areas, scary :)
Was it anal-perspirant?
Sent from my M2101K7BNY using Tapatalk
I did similar about 5 years ago and after 20 odd years of gas. Thought I had lit the bbq, lid down to heat up after.
Came back after 15-20 mins of preheat, open the lid, and bbq is stone cold. Without thinking I pressed the spark button.
Wife walked out to be being engulfed by a fireball, luckily fell backwards with the heat so only lost eyelashes. Fair to say I have only done that the once and it sh*T me up properly.
There are some amazing Big Green Egg flashback videos out there of what can happen if you don’t burp them before opening the lid fully at high temps.
Stay safe folks!
Both quality
I have nothing as hilarious to report, but during the very first lock down I was messing about with the kids and performed what I thought was an excellent Elvis karate kick. I felt something twinge and thought nothing of it. It was a bit achey for a few days and I just assumed I'd pulled a muscle. It was only as I emerged from the bath on the fourth day that I caught sight of myself in the mirror and nearly shat myself. The entire back of my thigh was covered in a deep purple, black and blue bruise.
Googling suggested I had only hours to live as a deep vein thrombosis was about to work its clot to my heart. No chance of seeing a doctor so I waited it out and a couple of days later was relieved to come to the conclusion that I'd only torn my hamstring.
Let that be a lesson to you kids…
My Missus badly dislocated her thumb whilst putting her nightie on. Have you ever been jolted awake by a screaming naked woman with a nightie covering her head (not recommended and don't answer that)? Anyway, that was an interesting trip to A&E in the middle of the night.
Reminds me of a dream I had once.
I used to work in A&E and we once had to call the fire brigade to cut off a c0ck ring. It was very thick gauge and beyond the scope of regular ring cutters which we have in A&E. Dude's penis was erect and very unhealthy looking under all that pressure. Fire brigade came and used hydraulic cutting equipment. Silly man
Another chap I met at medical school told me the reason he had a stoma was he was walking naked in his home office and tripped on something and a chair leg made its way up his backside and damaged his colon. Unlucky man.
The sight alone, of hydraulic cutting equipment - would have solved the problem for me.............. (I mean - in theory)
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