...here I am again with tears rolling down my face again.
Seems the recent months has seen those most precious parts our life's being taken away. More of those cruel blows that are part of life (I suppose) to deal with.
Some of you may remember last September saw our 10 week old grandaughter taken so quickly with meningitis. That was dreadfully difficult to deal with especially with my son managing to start dealing with his addiction issues a few months before her death...grief and fear was a toxic cocktail to work through.
He's behaved himself; that's all credit to him.
Then our little characterful Yorkie, Hugo, was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and had to be put to sleep. A wonderful little dog who made it his place in our lives to please. His leaving at 8 years old hurt.
The last few days with our eldest dog, Heidi, has been difficult.
She hasn't been well since New Year. At nearly 16 we knew the end wasn't too far away and our vet discussed with us what might be the criteria for deciding the time had come.
Since Tuesday she couldn't keep a small amount of food down; water was nearly as difficult. It was patently obvious she was not well...scans taken a fortnight ago showed issues in her stomach, probably cancer.
Wife and I were on shifts being with her 24 hours and today was the day the time had come. A horrible decision to make but Heidi's welfare had to be uppermost.
It was almost as if she was pleading with us to do something, it was heartbreaking. No obvious signs of pain but she was an amazingingly tough, independent and resilient dog and past experience had shown she had a remarkable capacity for hiding pain...16 teeth taken out and she wanted play when she came home last year.
I think she knew that her life was about to end. Normally nervous when visiting the vet she was absolutely calm this time. She looked at both of us in the vets room and stretched up and gave each of us a lick on the nose. Perhaps a gesture of gratitude; maybe I'm just being sentimental.
All over so quickly and without fuss or distress for her...for us it's another emotional battering.
Heidi will, I'm sure, be in a better place. But goodness, for a little dog that's never weighed more than a bag of sugar she's left a huge hole in our hearts but lots of happy memories.
A couple of pictures, one's a painting of Hugo - far better than any photo I have him.
The other is Heidi wrapped up with Floyd our last remaining dog guarding her...he senses all is not well and scoots around looking for her. So sad.
Bit of a selfish outpouring considering all the problems in the country and the world but it helps.
Thanks for reading.
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I'm so, so sorry to read of all you have been through, jacinabox. Heart rending. If it's any consolation, I am sure Heidi was very grateful for the life you gave her. Such a difficult decision for you but, as you stay, the right one for her. My thoughts are with you and your wife. Take care.
So hard to read. Many, many will feel it badly when their time comes. Your situation is sadly amplified. My sincere condolences.
My sympathies. Life really isn't kind to you. I am wishing you strength.
Someone who lies about the little things will lie about the big things too.
So sorry for your loss, truly heartbreaking.
Cheers,
Adam.
I really have no words. I can only extend my sympathy and wish you to find peace in the correct decisions you've made by your dogs.
I’m sorry for your loss. I don’t think you are sentimental about her actions at the vet. When our beloved schnauzer left us eight years ago, she too was eager to reach the vet’s office, pulling her leash. Normally she didn’t pull her leash, let alone enjoy visits to the vet. I am certain she knew what was up and it was her way of telling us she was ready. Inside i felt again she knew we were saying goodbyes for the last time. To me it sounds like you had had a similar experience with Heidi.
Even after eight years really thinking about it brings tears to my eyes. They are good tears though, as I know we gave her a good life and did her right up to and including the very end. I hope you too can find some consolation.
You have my deepest sympathy and condolences.
When you look long into an abyss, the abyss looks long into you.........
I feel your pain. We lost our Staffy on NYD and we’ve never felt grief like it. You have all of my sympathy.
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The heartbreak we all know is coming but that knowledge doesn’t help one bit.
In posts like that I usually recommend reading Kippling’s «*the power of the dog*», or post this:
To all dog owners who dread that last trip to the vet, do not hesitate to ask them if they can come to your place instead: most will say yes in my (sad) experience.
'Against stupidity, the gods themselves struggle in vain' - Schiller.
That was a tough morning read.
My sincere condolences.
My deepest condolences to you both,very sad indeed on all counts,it got harder to read with the tears in my eyes.
My Son & Daughter have recently got dogs,My Son got "Claudy" before our Daughters dog "Chase"and consequently I got much closer to Claudy during all the times we spend together when we Dog sat.
We spend hours playing and walking over the moors,playing ball is what she & I love,and even when back home she looks at me as if to say hey we aint finished yet!.
I love Claudy so much,and why I can relate to your loss.....Loyalty,Love,Fun & play,they give it out free and ask for nothing in return,good pet owners give all the same back to their loyal Friend no question until that awful day we all know comes!.....damn that is tough.
Just to say we too have had both Dogs and Cats over many years and boy does it hurt when theyve gone,something many people can relate to when that time ends,but some just do not get it!.
The many memories of how your dogs lived a truly fantastic and happy life are what will give you a warm feeling as time passes......They know.
My sincere condolences.
Best wishes.
I’m so sorry my condolences.
So sorry, my thoughts are with you.
Jacinabox, that wasn’t a selfish outpouring at all. It’s hard to imagine anything more testing than what you and your family have endured in recent times. Sometimes it’s good to wear your heart on your sleeve. In my book anyone who has ever cried over the loss of a dog - or a cat or any other creature we’ve loved - is a good person. Dogs make our world a better place and it’s only right that we mourn their loss.
I watched the poignant final episode of 'Afterlife' last night, and the comment that some angels bark is so very true. Thinking of you.
Don't just do something, sit there. - TNH
As others have said, thinking of you and your family. Stay strong but give grief a chance to come out.
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Well saidOriginally Posted by seabiscuit
I feel you're pain jacinabox as I've had to do this twice in my life with cat's, it's soul destroying or at least was for me.
Animals really are a part of the family.
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So so sorry for your loss, especially given everything else you've had to deal with. Dogs are the best of friends and part of the family.
So sorry for your loss, but so pleased you made sure she lived her best life.
Started out with nothing. Still have most of it left.
Agree with this. We did this last time.
Started out with nothing. Still have most of it left.
Grief is a bastard. But without it, how would we even know we had a soul?
Wishing you peace and resilience.
Sorry for your loss, I can only imagine your sadness
So sorry to hear, it really is heart breaking, I lost my #1 dog 30 months ago and every day I think of him and it brings a tear to my eye.
Thank you all for taking the time to reply, I really appreciate it...as with the loss of my grandaughter thread, I go back to that and find comfort from reading the comments. I'll do the same with this thread
For those that have gone through the upset of saying goodbye to your pets; yes, it's absolutely rotten. I know time will take the edge of the pain...it's just so raw for both of us now. I went the fridge this morning and saw some cooked sausage that we used to hide Heidi's tablets in - that was enough to start the tears.
Possu, your experience pretty mirrors ours at the vet, they absolutely do know they're about to be given the 'ultimate kindness'
Saint-Just, hadn't seen that comic strip before. If I ever needed confirmation that the 'need' I saw in Heidi before contacting the vet, that would be it.
Home visit from vet...that was what was hoped for and discussed earlier this year with vet, but with Covid and a couple of vets isolating it wouldn't have happened till next week. It needed to happen in hours not days.
I was grateful they could do it late last night...all done with care and compassion.
Last remaining dog, Floyd, is totally lost now his buddy is gone.
Again, thank you.
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Not selfish outpouring at all Pal, we all go through some very hard times and sometimes a long written message on here is all it needs to get things off your chest.
Although this forum can be a tough old place alot of us are going through the daily struggle so hope you get a bit of comfort from the genuine kind words from some genuine people.
We all have battle's so take care and all the best to you and all your family x
Memories flood back of lost ones including dogs.
When our first black lab, Morgan, left us in we had his ashes placed inside a black lab statue that lay on the floor at the front door.
When his successor, Brodie, arrived a couple of months later, on entering the house he made towards the statue immediately and bowed to it, as if in respect.
Tears?? You betcha. Even to this day.
Powerful stories lie in this thread that bring it all back.
May all our losses rest in peace and have risen in eternal glory.
Jim
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