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Thread: Grief for passed dog

  1. #1
    Craftsman
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    Grief for passed dog

    I’ve had grief associated with lost parents and close relatives but nothing has affected me as much as the passing of my 14.5 year old Staffy on New Years Day.
    I’m normally pragmatic and sensible.
    He was a lovely dog who had a great life and was much loved by us both.
    I’ve never encountered grief and pain like this.
    I cannot stop crying. I don’t know what to do. I know it will pass but the pain of loss is unbelievably intense for us both.
    We don’t want another dog at this time, he was irreplaceable. He was a perfect gentle and loving soul.


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  2. #2
    Sorry to hear bud, the only advice I can give is cry it out. It does get easier.

  3. #3
    The only thing dogs don’t do for us is live as long as we do, the pain will pass, sorry for the loss of your pup.

  4. #4
    Grand Master Chris_in_the_UK's Avatar
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    Sad news - they are very much part of the family.

    Take solace in the home and love you gave.
    When you look long into an abyss, the abyss looks long into you.........

  5. #5
    A dog is such a massive part of a person's life its hard to realise how much until they're gone. Like a family member but more loyal and loving than any. I wish you well. When my dog passed I was lost without her. 3 years now and never a day passes when I don't wish we could still go for a walk together.
    Maybe you could share a few pics.

  6. #6
    Master
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    I feel your pain, like others have said it does get a little easier- I lost my Chocolate Lab 5 years and it still cuts now, not ashamed to admit it but cried like a baby for a good amount of time.

    It does get better.

  7. #7
    Master draftsmann's Avatar
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    I’m so sorry. Dogs are irreplaceable. I keep four of them, in part because I know that the loss of an only dog would affect me as it has you. When you are ready to introduce another dog perhaps think about taking on a pup and an older rescue dog?

  8. #8
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    Buddy I`m with you on this one.

    I`ve lost parents, grandparents, and recently friends to Covid. I felt a brief spell of grief, crying only on the day of the funeral but then "over it" within an hour. Compare that to losing my dogs, 4 over the last 20yrs and my current Staff x Boxer on his last legs (13yrs counting) and I`m lost for weeks. Looking at the empty dog bed, the pain sadly floods back and my floodgates open. It`s at this time I usually look up and talk to the lost dog, remembering the good times, the walks we shared, the love we both held for each other.

    I take some comfort in spreading my dogs ashes in my garden, that way I feel they are free as the wind, yet still here with me.

    I won`t say time heals but the pain eventually switches over to happy memories and eventually "a smile".

    Chin up

  9. #9
    So sorry to hear of your loss.

  10. #10
    Grand Master JasonM's Avatar
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    We’ve had our George for 2 years now and the thought of being without him now fills me with dread, I’ll be like you when the sad day comes, hopefully not for many years hence. My sincere condolences.
    Cheers..
    Jase

  11. #11
    Craftsman nick wood's Avatar
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    Sorry for your loss, as said time does heal, lost our jack Russell nine years ago, he was 14 and I still think of him everyday, cried more when he went than when I lost my father

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  12. #12
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    Grief with dogs

    We've lost two borders over the years, Pip we had from a pup and Brock who was a rescue. Worst grief ever, which over the years I've rationalised (for me anyway) that its a combination of the unconditional love you get with the lack of knowing they know how you feel, you just have to assume. I've lost my mother, but over the years we were close and therefore talked about how lucky we were, how we enjoyed sharing the good times, how we got through the bad times etc. I share all of that with my dogs too but don't have the chance to talk it out so to speak.... so I sometimes think that's why I feel worse, or it lasts longer or whatever.....

    Probably just me rambling, but I know how you feel, just remember the good times. FWIW, it took me a year to get another dog when we lost our first, as I felt I was betraying Pip. Having gone through the process again with Brock, I got another rescue (George, a Jack Russell Patterdale cross we think, with me know) in a couple of months. I felt differently this time, seeing my need for another dog as a huge love and respect for Pip and Brock, the impact they have on our lives and the hole they leave when they go.

  13. #13
    Master Zephyr's Avatar
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    I’m so sorry for your loss, I exactly know how your feeling.

  14. #14
    Grand Master oldoakknives's Avatar
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    So sorry. It's so hard I know. Thinking of you at this sad time.
    Started out with nothing. Still have most of it left.

  15. #15
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    Sorry for your loss

  16. #16
    Grand Master Saint-Just's Avatar
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    'Against stupidity, the gods themselves struggle in vain' - Schiller.

  17. #17
    Master John Wall's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saint-Just View Post
    Beat me to it Marc,

    This never ceases to comfort me.
    I m sorry for your loss.
    It’s shit…

  18. #18
    Grand Master Chinnock's Avatar
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    It’s shit and you just have to ride the waves of emotion for as long as it takes unfortunately.

    I feel your pain.

  19. #19
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    Sorry for your loss. I am happy that he had a great life and was loved, what you are feeling and sharing is positive, keep on remembering the happy times, those moments, his mannerisms, memories will never go away if you don’t want them too. He is in a happy place and no doubt he would want you to be happy too.

    I know everyone is different but would you consider having a picture framed of him or having one painted.

    I never wanted a dog myself, but my wife and kids were asking for nearly 10 years before I caved in last year and gave them the go-ahead. Fast forward 1yr and the house feels empty when he is not home.

    I can only imagine what you are feeling right now, my thoughts are with you.

  20. #20
    Grand Master
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    Tough for sure,my heart goes out to you.
    Such loyal and giving animals.

    Loved all ours,and now dog sit my Sons & Daughters,and love every second playing with them.


  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saint-Just View Post
    What a powerful set of images, I lost my last dog over 10 years ago and this set me off, tears in my eyes as I type. OP I understand how you are feeling, as others have said let it out.Cheers, John B4

  22. #22
    Master
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    Really sad to hear, I hope you feel better soon. I felt awful when my mum's dog, Charlie died. He was a border collie and in an odd way, we were like brothers. But he had a great life, more comfortable and privileged than the vast majority of animals on the planet. And now it's complete; everything that lives comes to an end and nothing bad will ever happen to him now.

  23. #23
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    Grief for passed dog

    So sorry for your loss. I can relate, I have lost beloved grandparents but I am almost embarrassed to say that when I lost my dog it affected me far more. It does get better as you said.


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  24. #24
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    So sorry for your loss.

    You gave him a wonderful life. As time passes your pain will ease and you will remember to good times.

    For now, let it out.


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  25. #25
    Sorry for your loss. I’ve had dogs all my life, they’re family, their passing is never, ever something that’s easy to get over.

    Time is the greatest healer.

  26. #26
    Master tiny73's Avatar
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    Sorry for your loss, your dog was part of the family and that grief is felt as keenly as any human loss. I said goodbye to our 19 year old cat today and cried like a baby (still am) and the house feels empty without him. It hurts, it’s ok to feel that hurt.

  27. #27
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    Sorry for your loss, we have a 12 year old standard poodle who has certain health issues, he collapsed on our landing the other morning and fell and actually broke a spindle from the banister, we thought it was his time, we lifted him onto our bed and just waited, he made the morning and we got him to the vets where 1.5ltrs of fluid was drained from around his heart and chest cavity, ( he had this done about 6 weeks ago, so it's building up fast ), although we know it's going to happen one day we know it will absolutely devastate us.
    Don't be ashamed to show your tears, we are only human.
    As others have said, share a few pics if you have any.

  28. #28
    Just let it all out mate. Not ashamed to say i did last June when Otto passed. And as others have said the pain eases with time.

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  29. #29
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    Thanks for all your kind words. I’m still crying....


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  30. #30
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    Really sorry for your loss. I also lost my Bulldog Daisy in March this year so can feel your sorrow. It will become easier over the coming months. I got through it by thinking that Daisy helped to mould me into a better human in the time she was with me so I'll also carry part of her with me through life, as with my previous dogs. I've since taken on 2 puppies, they'll never replace Daisy and I wouldnt want them to. Shes gone, but she'll never be forgotton. Take care.

  31. #31
    Grand Master
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    I am so very sorry.
    I lost mine in April 2019 at 10 to cushings and the grief was awful. Awful. I still cry on her birthday and am tearing up now.
    She was my best mate and we went everywhere together for a decade when I lived alone.
    We have another dog now as a family pet and while she's ace, I still pine for MY dog.
    It does get easier as time goes on but while you are in pain, they are not. I hope all the loved and lost dogs are having one hell of a party somewhere.

  32. #32
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    Sorry to hear this but totally understand.

    Like others have said, I'm right with you OP.

    The highs and joy a dog lover feels from the years of owning these loving, loyal animals is mirrored by the lows and pain you feel when they pass.
    I have been in the same position 10 years ago. At the vets a cry came out of me that I have never heard before and even after 10 years I still miss him but with a smile on my face also.

    Good to see so many dog lovers here, they are a perfect companion and much better than people IMO, people are OK, people who love dogs are better, but dogs are mostly perfect.

    The thing that hurt me the most was that I had to take my trusting friend to the vet because his life had become painful and not very nice, the one thing that got me through it was the fact that he did trust me and I did the right thing, not for me but for him.

    It gets better OP, the day will come when you will remember him with a smile.

    People who say "its just a dog" will never understand.

  33. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by Michael E View Post
    Sorry to hear this but totally understand.

    Like others have said, I'm right with you OP.

    The highs and joy a dog lover feels from the years of owning these loving, loyal animals is mirrored by the lows and pain you feel when they pass.
    I have been in the same position 10 years ago. At the vets a cry came out of me that I have never heard before and even after 10 years I still miss him but with a smile on my face also.

    Good to see so many dog lovers here, they are a perfect companion and much better than people IMO, people are OK, people who love dogs are better, but dogs are mostly perfect.

    The thing that hurt me the most was that I had to take my trusting friend to the vet because his life had become painful and not very nice, the one thing that got me through it was the fact that he did trust me and I did the right thing, not for me but for him.

    It gets better OP, the day will come when you will remember him with a smile.

    People who say "its just a dog" will never understand.
    Thanks Michael, we tried to go out yesterday for my birthday but we just couldn’t find any joy in anything we did. I’m back to work on Friday so perhaps this will provide a much needed distraction from the emptiness and loss we are both feeling.


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  34. #34
    I initially didn't want to open your post, when I saw the title, especially as we also have a Staffy.
    She is about 11 years old, not quite sure, as I got her from Dogs Trust.
    She has seen me through, many difficult times, as well as more great times.
    I am dreading when the day comes and know, that I my feelings and emotions will match yours.
    I am so sorry to read of your lost and for you to know, that you are not alone.
    All the best to you.
    Tony

  35. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by Topcat30093 View Post
    I initially didn't want to open your post, when I saw the title, especially as we also have a Staffy.
    She is about 11 years old, not quite sure, as I got her from Dogs Trust.
    She has seen me through, many difficult times, as well as more great times.
    I am dreading when the day comes and know, that I my feelings and emotions will match yours.
    I am so sorry to read of your lost and for you to know, that you are not alone.
    All the best to you.
    Tony
    Our dog was a rehome so he was between 14.5 and 15.5 years old when he passed. It is truly gut wrenching but you must remember the great times and make sure you take loads of pictures and videos. We’ve picked up his ashes this afternoon and it was satisfying to get him home.the irony was we drove past the RSPCA centre where we picked him up 12.5 years ago on the way home now. His life went full circle and the sun shined all day.


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  36. #36
    We became friends with the breeders of our 2 chocolate labs and they have lost 3 dogs in little over 2 months. Their 13 year old Goldy went in late October, they lost their 16 year old chocky lab early December and today they’ve lost another lab who was 11. All cherished much loved pets, I guess if you own 6 you realise that you’re in for quiet a bit of sadness but to happen within 2 months of each other is just horrible.

  37. #37
    Craftsman levkov's Avatar
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    Sorry about your loss. Although very much of a dog person, I've never owned a dog myself. As soon as the circumstances allow me to do so, i'm planning on having a Staffy myself. Some friends we used to share a house with, had an American Stuffy named Kyra. She was the most gentle, loving creature I've had the luck to share my life with, it was at that point that i decided to go for a Stuffy as soon as i can

  38. #38
    Master
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    sorry for your loss; like many others I know exactly how you feel. When I lost my last Weimeraner 12 years ago we nearly had to sell the house as the gap left was too huge to contemplate. I work from home, have no kids, so the loss was enormous.

    rather than having the intended break from a dog companion we dived straight back in and that lad is nearly 12 and the thought of him going is almost too much to consider; they really are such a huge part of your life.

    given time it gets a little easier; you just need to appreciate what a wonderful life you gave the dog and how happy he was.

  39. #39
    Master BRGRSP's Avatar
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    So sorry to hear of your loss, we lost our Golden Retriever 2 years ago in March coming.
    Not a day goes by that I don't think of the old chap, especially when i come downstairs first thing, he always slept on our mid landing.

    That trip to the vets was the last time I have left my home due to shielding not only for my own health but that of my clinically vulnerable good lady.

    We are fortunate to have our Jack Russell and two cats still, but it doesn't lessen our grief, and of course they too go through a period of grief in their own way.

    The pain does ease over time.

    Always remember the good times and the cherished memories, I'm sure you have many, they help a great deal when things get a little tough.

    Thinking of you.

    Brian.

  40. #40
    Craftsman Fender's Avatar
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    My nana was a proper nana, lovely and gentle. Horrible when she died, but after my sister lost two dogs in quick succession she confessed it hurt her even more.

    I don't subscribe to the notion that you shouldn't grieve for a beloved pet as you would a person. They're helpless without you, like a big dopey child, except they're never disappointed with you!

    I haven't had another dog since my last one died over ten years ago. Buried a few family pets in that time though. They say you should get another asap. Maybe it's akin to keeping the bond going?

    Very sorry for your loss.

  41. #41
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    I am with you on this - I had to have my vizsla put to sleep on the 30th, and it was a horrible thing to have to do. I was there for her though, right until she slipped away.

    I miss her a lot, but I also know that it was the right thing to do as she was having seizures and her quality of life was dropping.

    Grieving for your loss will help you over time - far better to let it out than bottle it up to appear later.

    Goodbye Dana



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  42. #42
    I have had dogs for 40 years and lost so many, 2 in a row had bloody cancer and died young. One was in the prime of life and strong and fit as anything.

    If your dog lived to 14.5 then that is an extremely good outcome and i hope that will be a great comfort to you at some point.

  43. #43
    Craftsman levkov's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alasdairmc View Post
    I am with you on this - I had to have my vizsla put to sleep on the 30th, and it was a horrible thing to have to do. I was there for her though, right until she slipped away.

    I miss her a lot, but I also know that it was the right thing to do as she was having seizures and her quality of life was dropping.

    Grieving for your loss will help you over time - far better to let it out than bottle it up to appear later.

    Goodbye Dana



    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    Sorry for your loss. So rare to see a vizsla around here. My parents Boni is getting old too, he's turning 13 this year, he's really close to my mum, i'm scared of how she's going to react when the inevitable happens :(


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