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Thread: gofundme request, can you help please - update post 16

  1. #1

    gofundme request, can you help please - update post 16

    Related to this thread:

    https://forum.tz-uk.com/showthread.p...utal-and-cruel

    This is a tough ask for probably all the wrong, selfish reasons and I need to see the issue from another persons perspective.

    Two days ago, we discovered a gofundme page had been set up by son's partners mother on facebook. The mother is a proud and independent lady who lives somewhat less than comfortably. Works two jobs to maintain herself and doesn't want anything to do with being part of the benefit system, I've only met her briefly when the baby, Courtney, was just born. She struck me as being a resilient but gentle lady.

    I recently discovered that two years ago she lost her son, my sons partners brother, to drugs. Very few people within her immediate family and none with the means to help with funeral costs. As a consequence she took out a £6k loan which I believe she is still paying down.

    Our reaction to this gofundme page was, shamefully, less than understanding. We had made it clear when Courtney died that my son and his partner need not worry about funeral costs, we would cover it all. We didn't appreciate that the gofundme appeal was the only way the other half of the family could contribute to the costs which was something they needed and wanted to do. That took a tearful Son & Mother of Courtney to visit and say that she appreciated our offer but this was the only way they could be part Courtney's funeral. Her mother had to swallow her pride to publicly appeal for money...a huge dose of humble pie was swallowed by us.
    We had to rapidly adjust our thinking to appreciate that.

    They're hoping to raise £2500 - this is to cover the headstone, burial plot and associated fee's. Anything in excess will go the Royal Childrens Hospital, Glasgow, intensive care unit to help support other parents who's child is in the unit...travel, food and accommodation costs.

    The link to the gofundme appeal:

    https://www.gofundme.com/f/collectio...eca6abf01f4c22

    I hate the picture which was taken in Courtney's last few hours, but I have to respect their choice for choosing that one in amongst all lovely photo's available - and I don't think it's my place to tell them it's wrong.

    I'm not a Facebook user where these appeals seem to end up but I thought I'd ask here. I genuinely do not feel comfortable doing this - my son has asked me to and I can't refuse with any good reason or honesty.

    The funeral is tomorrow which I hope will bring some closure to this sad tragedy.

    If you feel you can make a small donation, a pound or two perhaps, I'd be hugely grateful as would the other half of the family. I've already seen on some parts of social media cruel comments that this is a scam or a hoax, I'm sure I don't need to tell you it isn't.

    We could donate to the appeal, but as we're covering the other costs, we've been asked not to. We'll find a way to use the "saving" on them - something for their home, get them away for a needed break away or similar.

    Finally, I'm sorry if this appears garbled, disjointed and rambling...it's all too much at times.

    If anyone feels this is inappropriate let me know and I'll remove the post.

    Thank you, David
    Last edited by jacinabox; 17th September 2021 at 10:55.

  2. #2
    Grand Master RustyBin5's Avatar
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    Paid £10 - sorry Iím not in position to do more just now

  3. #3
    Master
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    So sorry to hear about this and your loss. Donation made.

  4. #4
    Donation made


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  5. #5
    Craftsman Halitosis's Avatar
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    Last thing any grieving family should have to worry about. Hoping the service goes as well as is possible


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  6. #6
    Master
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    Donation made.

  7. #7
    Grand Master wileeeeeey's Avatar
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    Donation made

  8. #8
    Donation made, sorry to hear about your loss. I read your post crying.

  9. #9
    Craftsman
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    Sorry to read both this and your other thread David, donation made, and good luck for tomorrow

  10. #10
    Master
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    As above, awful thing to read & then have to worry about costs, donation made.

  11. #11
    Donation made.
    Although a long time ago I had a similar experience so fully understand the circumstances and wish you all the best for the future.

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  12. #12
    Donation to this sad heartbreaking cause.

  13. #13
    Grand Master ryanb741's Avatar
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    Donation made. Heartbreaking and my thoughts are with you all

  14. #14
    Donation made. I don't know what else to say...

  15. #15
    Master spuds's Avatar
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    I don't know what to say, this is just so sad on so many levels.

    Sorry for being late in donating but hopefully knowing that they can now 'pay their part' will somehow help, even if it's in the tiniest way.

    No-one should ever have to go through any of this.

    R.I.P. Courtney....

  16. #16
    I'm honestly lost for words here. A heartfelt thank you is the best I can muster just now; it seems so inadequate.
    I think the last ~£500 of the lady's target was achieved by the huge generousity of those who donated; a fabulous achievement.

    I was aware the target had been reached yesterday, and so appropriately, on the day of the funeral. I tried to write something last night, the day had been a roller coaster of emotions and I couldn't put together anything sensible to convey my gratitude. My efforts this morning are proving just as futile...

    My son knows that my request from you good people have helped Ann reach her goal and passes on his thanks. I know she will be so comforted that she can arrange the headstone for Courtney.

    So, a gentle line has been drawn under this tragedy. The funeral service was beautifully simple and so fitting. Not overtly religious and sensitively conducted...the words and music were put together by son and his partner. Just wonderful.

    The hearse was full of flowers and Courtney's small pink coffin couldn't be secured in the usual place - it sat on the knee of one the undertakers in the front. Just seemed to reinforce the tragedy of taking such a small and innocent life...the modern world isn't accommodating to such a situation.

    The burial; just broke what was left of my heart, the sun chose just right time to break through the clouds...

    Time will heal the pain, the memories will remain bright and beautiful. I can't and I guess I never will understand "why".
    I've said it before, Courtney was called to be an Angel in Heaven and I have to hold that as the reason.
    RIP little one, you were so precious to everyone that had the privilege and joy of being a little part of your all too short time in this world.

    Again, from myself and the family, thank you

    David





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  17. #17
    Master
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    Beautifully written, David.

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