Reply With QuoteGo tee-total then :)Originally Posted by Halitosis
I think I’ve developed an unhealthy dependence on alcohol, though am perhaps over-worrying the situation.
I have two large glasses of wine every evening at home - so basically half a bottle - and at least twice as much on Fridays and Saturdays or if we go out. My wife will only rarely join me in a glass.
I immediately take empty bottles out to the garage to hide my consumption, and if we’re out of Aldi plonk then I'll launch into a gin and tonic. Although I don’t start until at least 8pm, I have it in my mind that I won’t be able to get to sleep if I don’t have a drink, and find myself becoming a little anxious or grumpy if expected to drive anywhere as I’m worrying I won’t be able to have a drink. I’m sure Mrs H is aware, politely refrains from commenting, and offers to drive home should we dine out.
I guess stating this here on a public forum is intended to kick-start doing something about it. I did dry January a couple of years ago and felt great for it - just need to stop putting it off - much like the diet! I don’t intend to go tea-total but drinking only at weekends would surely be better for my health.
Anyone else hitting the bottle more since covid?
Go tee-total then :)
I went the other way round when my blood level sugar count hit 65 which a self inflicted own goal. I cut back on the size of food portions and booze is now almost off the radar, hence latest blood count down to 47.
So the diabetes is now well under control and the liver is probably a lot happier.
The fact you asked the question denotes you already know the answer. So yes weekends only would be fine.
I did, however not quite as much as you, normally a large red per night and double Gin as well at weekends.
A few months ago I decided to switch back to Fri - Sun only unless I am out for a meal in between.
This stopped me nodding off early, but don't feel any other benefit.
Prove to yourself you're not dependent on it by not drinking. I imagine half the folk here are more dependent on it then they'd readily admit.
Good man Halitosis; recognising the potential problem is the major part of successfully dealing with it.
I have personal experience of this behaviour, in my case it was my present wife who hit the whisky bigtime. She didn't so much decide to go cold turkey; more like made herself so ill with the drink that she couldn't eat or drink anything for about a fortnight, or get out of bed.
At that stage she made the decision to cut alcohol out of ther life completely. From being so stupid as to get herself into that position she became heroic in having the strength to get herself out of it.
If not too late, why not try my plan of action to avoid the worst health issues with drink? Make it a rule not to drink alcohol on successive nights. I have a one-night-on, one-night-off protocol which I fondly imagine will protect me from the worst that Bacchus can do to my organs.
I like this approach, I do something similar. The minute I start to ‘want’ a drink is the minute I stop drinking, until that ‘want’ resides. Otherwise you could end up in a whole world of shit. I apply this to a lot of other things in my life, you have to be in control of yourself and your actions.
Good luck mate, I’m sure you’ll sort it out.
Last edited by Anygreg; 9th August 2021 at 12:57.
I like a glass of wine or five. It is so easy to drink chilled glasses of wine everyday in the summer month evenings.
I have a pact with myself. No alcohol consumption midweek, and then a bottle on Friday and Saturday night. Sometimes, I fail by Thursday, but it is never more than 3 alcohol days per week. I keep to 3 bottles of wine per week, maximum.
Try abstaining mid week. It only makes the bottle you do drink on a Friday and Saturday taste so much better. And once mid week abstinence becomes a habit, I find it easy to do.
On the odd occasion I do drink most days, usually on vacation or staycation, I find it is just not as pleasurable when you are doing it day after day. And that is from someone who does like a drink.
By posting it here is a good thing for sure.
I've no real idea how these things should be dealt with, but my gut reaction is to say, why don't you halve what you're drinking starting today? One glass of wine every night instead of two. Do that for the rest of the week and then next Monday try cutting out alcohol until the weekend?
I was drinking way too much. Gave it up for Lent and have barely had a drink since. Can’t say I miss it, TBH.
I got into a situation where I was drinking every night. Not a lot but every night. Once I realised this I challenged myself not to drink during the week. I think you should do similar. Save it for the weekend. Drink water when you would usually have alcohol. Much like trying to reduce one's calories intake, it sucks at first but you'll get used to it. All the best.
I enjoy a couple of beers after I’ve played sport or am out for a meal, but neither me or the Mrs tend to drink at home. I think it becomes much more habitual if you do, and probably easier to slip into having a glass or two most days.
As others have said one of the biggest steps is probably recognising you are on a certain path, and good for you OP as you seem to be asking a reasonable question. I would definitely try to cut down (and then maybe cut out) the habitual midweek drinking specifically. Your wallet, liver and future self will all thank you I suspect.
They say admitting you have a problem is the first step. Hiding the empties is a bit of a worry, that’s a sign of a problem. Maybe leave them out so you can see how much you are drinking, it will help as an incentive.
I used to drink every day, at least 3/ 4 pints in the pub on the way home from work (strangely not much more at the weekend) I did wonder if I was dependent so just before lock down I cut out the drink in the week, once the habit was broken (took about a month) I didn’t miss it. I tend to drink cold sparkling water of an evening now and rather enjoy it.
I still love a pint but I drink much less than I did.
For me it was a habit that needed to be broken and I am glad I did. Thankfully I only drink beer, I can’t stand shorts or wine and until lock down didn’t drink much at home so I guess this made breaking the habit easier.
I wish you the best of luck!
Well done on noticing the issue, and well done on investigating a little. I reckon as soon as you start thinking you may have a problem with alcohol, you probably have a problem with alcohol.
Just because people aren't wandering around like Rab C Nesbitt doesn't mean they aren't on a slippery slope. My father was a high functioning alcoholic for many years before it caused separation while my mum was pregnant with my brother. Ultimately it killed him. I've always been very careful with my alcohol intake - for me it's a social drug to be taken with friends. I never drink alone. Unfortunately my brother now has a similar issue to my father and his wife divorced him last year.
I'm not suggesting you're anywhere near that level, but you've clearly identified some of the early signs. Hiding how much you drink and resenting others when you might lose a drinking opportunity are classic symptoms.
I would cut out drinking alone, if that's too hard (it shouldn't be if you are 'normal') seek help from a professional. Do it early and you might nip it in the bud. Wait too long and you'll be an alcoholic for life, whether you drink or not.
I started drinking a lot more during lockdowns last year. Only in the evenings from about 8pm, and never so much to be stumbling around and slurring or to have a hangover, but still too much to be healthy.
I've now gone back to the routine I had pre-Covid of no booze for 4 days a week, Mon-Thurs. I'll have a couple of 0% beers and then redbush tea after dinner. I sleep better on these days and wake up feeling rested. The fact I can do this without missing the booze gives me some solace that I don't have a problem. But I do still like a cold beer
I've had bloods taken this morning so maybe the results of those will be a wake-up call
I used to do a good bottle and a half every night an function well, wasn't dependant on it I was bored,
RIAC
OP, it's good that you've recognised this as a possible issue before things get way out of hand. However, I fear that the hiding of bottles could imply that there may already be some dependency there unfortunately.
Have you considered a new hobby that can take up some of that time of an evening? Something meditative maybe? Even a brisk walk would be enough to get you tired enough for bed, without turning to the bottle.
If that isn't for you, do have a look at any support groups in your area. I don't mean AA, but somewhere you can vent might help. There's a Facebook group close to me who meet weekly, HIMvisible. They try to cover everything regarding men's health from stress, anxiety & depression, to drug and alcohol awareness/dependency.
There's always someone who'll listen
~ Ian
I think the "problem" is not how much you drink but how you drink it.
The Spanish live longer than us and seem a lot healthier but more of them smoke and they all drink in varying degrees. The main difference in drinking habits is that the Spanish think it is a bit infra dig to have a drink without consuming food. The Spanish only drink when taking food and they tend to stick to coffee when in a bar if they are not eating.
The Brits tend to drink in order to destress or relax on an empty stomach.
Try to think about what you could do with a extra £150-200 a month?
Cheers..
Jase
Thanks all for some good advice. Decided I'm going to abstain as of today to see how easy it is. I will likely relent at weekends for social reasons though.
Will report back on how I go
I've never had a love of alcohol, I see people having a great time on it when I'm out (and the subsequent self inflicted suffering the day after) and sometimes wish I could feel what they are. My stages of alcohol seem to be - nothing, mild headache, nasty headache, zero motor control. I also tend to get nasty hangovers no matter how much or little I drink unless it's high quality clear alcohol (no whiskey, beer, brandy, etc. for me). It just isn't a fun experience - a glass of wine or a few beers does absolutely nothing for me.
Food is my vice - and it's something I'm really trying to fix but I found it easier to quit tobacco than to eat correctly.
H, a little tongue in cheek but I mentioned on another thread that I had bought some cheaper chocolate as it was more enjoyable than the expensive stuff. The reality is I'd like to cut it out. It's working from home with easy acess to the fridge.
I was given some good advice which was to gradually reduce my intake rather than binning the lot.
I'm not suggesting there is any comparison between our positions, but I do think longer term changes are more likely if the change is gradual.
Good for you for raising the subject. I don't drink but do see some similarities here for myself.
Would be interesting to hear if 0% alcohol helps if you try that out. Sparkling water is also a good one.
I'm sure you'll get a much better night's sleep as a result.
Erdinger is OK in its low alcohol form. Becks is not quite so good but passable.*
*In comparison with supermarket brand shandy.
Top for me are Brooklyn Special Effects and Heineken 0. Erdinger I just couldn't deal with the spaghetti hoops tomato sauce taste, which is nothing like its alcoholic sibling to my palate.
I've since gone to low ABV beer (my absolute favourite being from Gyle 59: Take it Easy 2.5%. It has impressive flavour for such low ABV, but I do have to ship it from Dorset!)
I try and abstain through the week but if a nice plate of food is made and especially a nice pasta dish or fish then I’m definitely reaching for a glass and generally will have 2 glasses
Lockdown definitely increased my midweek drinking as I was cooking a bit more.
My wife will also tend to have wine most nights and that can make it harder
I would say have a min 2 nights off but better to have 3 or 4
I had a day out with the lads on Saturday and I’m on suicide watch at the minute.
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Good luck.
I was in a similar position to your OP a couple of years ago, although it was closer to a bottle of red a night and probably more at weekends, purely through a habit that had built up over the years. I decided enough was enough and to try 30 days without to see if it was just a habit or more of a dependency that needed attention. Long story short, I haven't had a drink now for 2 1/2 years. Don't miss it all, and once the cycle was broken, I found no reason to go back.
Last edited by djjuk; 9th August 2021 at 14:54.
One way out of the cycle is to stop buying booze to drink at home.
Personally - I've got into a bit of a loop at the moment: when seeing those x10 and now x12 cans of cider in the supermarket for cheap prices it seems rude not to buy them - sadly wife has started commenting on my expanding waistline and I can feel I'm putting on the lbs in the wrong places + I know alcohol is bad for some of my underlying medical conditions - osteoporosis, mental health etc. It does take will power to change habits. Without going into details I already know I have a compulsive addictive personality - why else would I be on this forum!
Maybe consider cognitive behavioural therapy (use some of the many not spent on booze to pay for some sessions) if it has become damaging habit (health and financial and even badly effecting relationships - luckily it has never reach that level for me).
I would also talk to your wife and be honest how you feel - I bet she would be supportive and probably already realises your concerns?
Do keep us updated - it's a hard road but quite fulfilling getting a grip on your health when it is within your ability to change it - by not doing something (alcohol) - and as other say - replace by water or a walk or another hobby (music / art whatever?)
Best of luck!
Martyn
Last edited by MartynJC (UK); 9th August 2021 at 13:58.
“ Ford... you're turning into a penguin. Stop it.” HHGTTG
This seems like good advice. Cut the home drinking out.
I stopped regular drinking with the help of sparkling water and more recently discovered alcohol free gin for the evening gin and tonic.
Good luck with going cold turkey - let us know how you get on.
I drink to excess on the occasional night out (which hasn't been for 18 months) but I don't drink outside this - I think living with / looking after an alcoholic parent for my teenage years had an impact (e.g. I'm very strict on my wife's drinking, when she started having 1 small glass of wine of an evening).
I get the impression a lot of contributors on here drink regularly - and/or they have other problems.
P.S. I wonder if it will help your halitosis?
Good luck OP, you're more than half way there just by admitting it. Very bravely on a public forum may I add.
I could easily go down a slippery slope, I lost my middle sister to alcoholism, she was fifty, I'm now 55 and I do like a drink.
My own system, which I put into place post retirement two years ago and works very well is to restrict myself to 14 drinks a week, I based this very loosely on the government guideline of 14 units, but that's only 7 pints a week and won't do I'm afraid. I class one drink as anything from a pint, to a small bottle of lager, a g&t, or 18.75cl of wine (one of the small bottles that are a quarter of the big ones).
So a typical week for me will be a 75cl bottle of wine on a Wednesday and Friday for example, that's 8 drinks, and a pint or two in a beer garden out for a walk once or twice a week. If for some reason I go out and have several pints with friends or family, quite rare these days, one or more of the bottles of wine will be ditched. Some weeks my total is less than 10 drinks, and some weeks I push the 14 barrier, but never beyond it. This system not only limits my intake, but ensures there are at least 3, often 4 alcohol free days a week.
It works very well for me, I haven't had a hangover or a "forgotten" evening for two years, I look forward to a drink now in a good way, and I've lost a stone in weight.
Anyway, best of luck, and I hope you find something that works for you. Please keep us updated.
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I'll give them a go sometime.
I know a few people who get a headache from relatively little consumption of such beer. I wonder if it's because they are heavily processed.
Some of my work involves overseeing assessments and part of these assessments is a medical section. It always interests me when it comes to alcohol consumption. Almost all people being assessed (if they consume alcohol) unconsciously minimise their alcohol consumption and when the reality is explored, are quite shocked. The Medical Advisor guidance is that the maximum healthy alcohol intake is 14 units per week and anything over will have an impact on health eventually. A large glass of wine is 3 - 3.3 units so a bottle and a half of average strength wine per week will usually place you over the 14 units. Its easily done......
OP, its good that you recognise that you may have problematic drinking habits and are taking steps to explore this.
I can't claim to be an expert, but it sounds, OP, that you have at least identified that you feel unhappy about your 'relationship with alcohol'.
I probably bucked the lockdown trend, by making a conscious effort to drink less right from the start and I do definitely drink significantly less than I did before lockdown. I've never been one to drink beer or wine in the evening 'just because'. I might have a beer with dinner or a spirit now and then later in the evening, but I do that less than I used to.
My suggestion, for what it is worth, is to start recording every drink in a log - Just the fact that you record that you had X G&Ts or Y glasses of wine over a week might make you less prepared to reach for a bottle.
I started doing that a few years ago after someone posted "How much do you actually drink?" in a thread here and I soon found out it was more than I thought.
I do drink low alcohol beers more these days - They're NOT as good as the real stuff imo, but they're definitely better than they were and great if you just 'fancy a beer'. Never tried L/A wine, but I assume it exists. Frequently, though, I just drink mineral water, say with dinner.
Now I sometimes think I fancy a drink, but then think "Well, I've already had 3 this week and it's only Tuesday" or "I had a couple yesterday, I'll give it a miss today" - It's worked for me, although I'm sure many will think it a rather joyless experience.
I suspect, though, that many of them have never accurately recorded their intake and are drinking far more, as Bluemoon7 says, than they think... I certainly was.
M
Last edited by snowman; 9th August 2021 at 14:36.
Breitling Cosmonaute 809 - What's not to like?
Im in a similar position. Dont drink excessively, just little and often- couple of cans of beer in the evening whilst cooking. Its definitely become a lockdown boredom habit!
Last week i had a blood tests (unrelated). Results came back showing unusually high levels of ferritin. According to google this can mean access consumption of alcohol or liver disease… Awaiting a follow up doctors appointment.
Drinking 0% beers now!
Well done for realising the problem OP.
Although you may think drinking is not having an effect on your organs it is and gets worse as you age.
I used to love a drink and have a beer and a couple of whiskies every night.
During an annual health check I was diagnosed with borderline fatty liver - knocked it all on the head straight away.
Not worth it.
Cheers,
Neil.
I forgot to add, Heinekin or Budweiser zero alcohol cans are great for when you just fancy one beer late in the evening.
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I tend to buy a couple of bottles of wine and a few beers on a Friday, and that sees me and the missus through the whole weekend.
Outside of those days, there is pretty much no booze in the house - if every time I opened the fridge there was a cold bottle of lager staring back at me it would be all to easy to become an every day drinker. Temptation is a funny old thing
If you're a bitter drinker then Adnams alcohol free ghost ship is a really very good substitute for the full version
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Its dangerous stuff, watch yourself because it could get out of hand before you know it
Lager mainly, but thank you anyway :)
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Fair enough but it's a lightweight IPA - treat yourself to a bottle to try
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I went through similar to the OP about 5 years ago. One evening after the kids and wife went to bed, i drank 3/4 a bottle of scotch to drown the pain of my job. I was very unwell the next day and during a presentation to the team had to run to the toilets to be very ill.
I nearly lost my job and since that day have not touched a drop. Its now been 5 years (May 4th) and whilst I do miss it, i don't miss the vacant feeling in my head or the sickness the day after. Also its amazing what you spend on the stuff and when you dont, this becomes apparent. I saved a fair amount, by not drinking.
Good luck OP. At least you acknowledge there is an issue, perhaps switch to the low alcohol or zero alcohol stuff. These are really good nowadays. I like Erdinger and there is Lidl Petronus which is excellent.
You know, I think I will ;)Fair enough but it's a lightweight IPA - treat yourself to a bottle to try
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Just to add on the 0% beer front, I have noticed how this has changed in recent months, there are now whole sections in the supermarkets of zero beers (and sometimes wines).
I personally like the Brew Dog Nanny State beer, and my wife (who hasn't had an alcoholic drink for over 15 years) likes the occasional Doom Bar FreeDam lager (as do I).
In Spain the beer shelves in our local Mas y Mas has almost as many zeros, St Miguel, Maho, Amstel etc.
I find as long as you don't switch between normal beer and zero in the same session, it's fine, and a lot better tasting than Kaliber - remember them?
Sign of the times?
So, to the OP, good luck with whichever route you take to cut down on your intake.
Good post OP, and lots of good advice since. I'd echo the common advice here about days off - absolutely crucial for liver health, for psych/l health (proving you don't need it daily), and makes a lower weekly target much easier to hit.
If you're drinking daily, and not drinking daily sounds like a challenge, start with two days off, say Sunday and Wednesday. When you've proved you can do that you can push it to three or four.
A GP friend of mine said that in these circumstances she also recommends a rudimentary drinks diary, to sensitise people to just how much they're drinking. (It sounds OP as if you're drinking 50-60 units a week, around 4 times the recommended limit.) It certainly slows you down if you can see in black and white that you've had 30 units before the weekend.
Being clued-up and honest about ABV and units also helps. A lot of people think, oh well, one glass of wine = 1 unit, one pint of beer = 2 units, when the given alcohol content might make them nearer 2 and 3 respectively.
The aim, with days off and self-awareness etc, is to be able to enjoy a drink again rather than feeling guilty about it.
Again, good post / thread.
"Alcohol disagrees with me, but I do enjoy the argument "
i think you’ve done the right thing OP to identify the fact you have a problem with alcohol, as mentioned there’s probably many on here that have some degree of a problem with alcohol.
can i say some of the advice and suggestions on here have been excellent and will be applying some of that good advice myself.
Well done op.
I did a similar thing last year after realising I'd spent the past 18 years drinking a bottle of wine every night and more at the weekend.
I tried cutting down, alternating drinking days but nothing worked.
In the end I just stopped, told myself it would be for 3 months and I wasn't quitting all together, just taking a break.
After 3 months, I had a drink, and although I can still drink for England, having that break meant I don't drink in the week now. And I don't feel like I 'need' a drink.
Brewdog nanny state and Adnams ghost ship helped me, although the ghost ship did give me a massive headache the next morning.
I also got into drinking kombucha.
Keep it up, it's hard work but worth it.
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