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Thread: Punish illegal driving after the event??

  1. #1
    Master
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    Punish illegal driving after the event??

    Long story short here, I'm absolutely furious.

    Earlier today I left the kids at my sister in laws as she was looking after them for the afternoon. Just collected them now and apparently her, her partner and both their kids, along with both of my kids, had a drive to one of her friends. Six of them, in a 5 seat car, all the kids in the back with no belts on.
    It wasn't a run around the corner to the shops, it was a good 40 minutes up the motorway! If she had other plans I told her to drop the kids with my mum at our shop in town, but she instead took them along with her, embarrassed to tell us she'd forgotten her commitments today and made additional plans.
    Her husband is a bell end as it is, he buys insurance write off cars at the auctions to save money, the idea of my kids being involved in an accident in the car makes my legs turn to jelly.

    Options here, can I report him to the police after the event? Would it get anywhere? I know its "family" and I should be lenient here, but please understand that the alternative in my current state of mind is to chuck him on the railway. I have never been this angry in my life.

    Please let me know- legal standpoint especially appreciated.

  2. #2
    Guess it depends on our far you’d want to rock the boat and accept the fallout this will likely cause. Tbh I cant see the police doing much after the event.
    If it were me I’d be venting my spleen at the people directly responsible.
    Last edited by Franky Four Fingers; 30th May 2021 at 09:08.

  3. #3
    Master Onelasttime's Avatar
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    I'd be going bloody daft if anyone did that with my kids.

    I doubt the police would be interested and what evidence would they have?

    Stay calm, be happy the kids are back home safe, have a chat with your wife and get her to explain to her sister how feckin' stupid she is and why it can't ever happen again.

  4. #4
    Master Rod's Avatar
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    The police would need to witness the driving, so no you can't report them.
    Can't believe how irresponsible this was.
    You'll need a good talk with your relatives.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by kevkojak View Post
    Long story short here, I'm absolutely furious.

    Earlier today I left the kids at my sister in laws as she was looking after them for the afternoon. Just collected them now and apparently her, her partner and both their kids, along with both of my kids, had a drive to one of her friends. Six of them, in a 5 seat car, all the kids in the back with no belts on.
    It wasn't a run around the corner to the shops, it was a good 40 minutes up the motorway! If she had other plans I told her to drop the kids with my mum at our shop in town, but she instead took them along with her, embarrassed to tell us she'd forgotten her commitments today and made additional plans.
    Her husband is a bell end as it is, he buys insurance write off cars at the auctions to save money, the idea of my kids being involved in an accident in the car makes my legs turn to jelly.

    Options here, can I report him to the police after the event? Would it get anywhere? I know its "family" and I should be lenient here, but please understand that the alternative in my current state of mind is to chuck him on the railway. I have never been this angry in my life.

    Please let me know- legal standpoint especially appreciated.
    Chill out, travelled my whole life as a child in cars without seat belts.



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  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by Rod View Post
    The police would need to witness the driving, so no you can't report them.
    https://www.lincs.police.uk/reportin...iving-offence/

  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Longwool View Post
    Chill out, travelled my whole life as a child in cars without seat belts.
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    Very different.

  8. #8
    Pour yourself a stiff drink and calm down. Youíd only look daft and sour the relationship. Not worth it.

  9. #9
    Craftsman
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    Hi Longwood, Thats about the most dumb statement ever. Are you a troll or just a pratt.

  10. #10
    Itís done now, nothing happened, put it down to experience, not one you are going to repeat

  11. #11
    Quote Originally Posted by Justin Case View Post
    Pour yourself a stiff drink and calm down. Youíd only look daft and sour the relationship. Not worth it.
    Look daft in highlighting a blatant act that could have cost the lives of his children.....have a word

  12. #12
    Quote Originally Posted by Franky Four Fingers View Post
    Look daft in highlighting a blatant act that could have cost the lives of his children.....have a word
    Stern words with SIL of course but ringing the screws is an overreaction IMHO. They wouldnít be interested anyway.

  13. #13
    Master
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    I would tell my wife, in no uncertain terms, that my children would never be left with her sister ever again. BTW, you didn't mention what your wife thinks...

  14. #14
    Master Onelasttime's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Longwool View Post
    Chill out, travelled my whole life as a child in cars without seat belts.


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    Where the feck did you come from? Idiot!

  15. #15
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    You have to look at how this would be prosecuted. Most of these offences are proven by the test of ďfound committingĒ which means itís witnessed at the time. Beyond that without aggravating circumstances they would fail to meet the CPS evidential test - likelihood of conviction, public interest etc.

    Thereís not a chance so as frustrating as it is you will have to just move on.

  16. #16
    Grand Master wileeeeeey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Longwool View Post
    Chill out, travelled my whole life as a child in cars without seat belts.



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    And look how you turned out!

  17. #17
    Quote Originally Posted by wileeeeeey View Post
    And look how you turned out!
    LOL!

  18. #18
    Master
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    Donít leave your kids with them anymore and move on ... clearly not responsible.

  19. #19
    Master
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    Something similar happened where I used to live and children died crammed in a car.

    You are right to be angry.

  20. #20
    Master
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    Check with one of the online systems that it is taxed, insured and has an MOT of not then report if not.
    My lad recently got in a friend's car, that wasn't taxed or insured, a mistake that he won't make again.
    I'd do this before rocking the boat with your sister, if all above board with the car then a friendly chat would be advisable.

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  21. #21
    Master rabbitinheadlights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Onelasttime View Post
    I'd be going bloody daft if anyone did that with my kids.

    I doubt the police would be interested and what evidence would they have?

    Stay calm, be happy the kids are back home safe, have a chat with your wife and get her to explain to her sister how feckin' stupid she is and why it can't ever happen again.
    This.. good advice


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  22. #22
    Master murkeywaters's Avatar
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    Iíd let them know how pissed you are and why, if they canít see your reasoning then it just shows how flat out thick they are and your offspring shouldnít be allowed near them, especially in a car..

    Wouldnít bother with the police, their lack of motivation on something like this would probably wind your spring even tighter..

  23. #23
    Master stoneyloon's Avatar
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    So you leave your kids with a bell end and then you're amazed at their behaviour?

    I'd leave it as is... Don't leave them there again, simples....

    Cheers,

    Adam.

  24. #24
    Master
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    Times have changed
    We used to drive to the South of France every year back in the day with the 4 of us kids in the back of the car sans seatbelts.
    You wouldn't dream of it now but wasn't an issue then.
    No point in making a big issue as it won't achieve much so just don't leave your kids in their care again.

  25. #25
    Grand Master oldoakknives's Avatar
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    I'd never leave the kids with them again, and probably feel guilty that I did. And leave it there.
    ďThe more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.Ē

  26. #26
    Master bigbaddes's Avatar
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    yup, what the last five comments said.

  27. #27
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    Out of interest how old are your kids?

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  28. #28

  29. #29
    Grand Master
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    You left them with a known bellend so it's your fault they were in harm's way, just move on from here and don't put them in the same situation again, as for police involvement , they have better things to do.

  30. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by Longwool View Post
    Chill out, travelled my whole life as a child in cars without seat belts.
    According to the Department for Transport, from 1979-2013, the number of children killed or seriously injured (KSI) on the roads in the UK fell from 12,458 to 1,980 (84%). Source: https://assets.publishing.service.go...-2013-data.pdf.

    14% of these KSIs were car occupants:

    some of this decrease will relate to improvements in road and vehicle design, use of car seats and
    education on using the road.
    (my emphasis)

    I would not risk my child's life in a car journey with an unsafe seat without a belt. Although the risk is small, it is not 0. It is just not worth it.

  31. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by kevkojak View Post
    Long story short here, I'm absolutely furious.

    Earlier today I left the kids at my sister in laws as she was looking after them for the afternoon. Just collected them now and apparently her, her partner and both their kids, along with both of my kids, had a drive to one of her friends. Six of them, in a 5 seat car, all the kids in the back with no belts on.
    It wasn't a run around the corner to the shops, it was a good 40 minutes up the motorway! If she had other plans I told her to drop the kids with my mum at our shop in town, but she instead took them along with her, embarrassed to tell us she'd forgotten her commitments today and made additional plans.
    Her husband is a bell end as it is, he buys insurance write off cars at the auctions to save money, the idea of my kids being involved in an accident in the car makes my legs turn to jelly.

    Options here, can I report him to the police after the event? Would it get anywhere? I know its "family" and I should be lenient here, but please understand that the alternative in my current state of mind is to chuck him on the railway. I have never been this angry in my life.

    Please let me know- legal standpoint especially appreciated.
    You perhaps need to think about your own actions as well. Learn from this experience and move on.

  32. #32
    Master
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    Cheers all (well, most...)
    Kids are 5 and 9 years old, unsure how that makes a difference?
    For the record here I left the kids with my sister in law as she is usually a sensible party, we both look after each others children on occasion, it's her husband who's a cock.
    My wife has told me to relax and she'll sort it out. I've told her to invite them round so he can apologise, likely with a hand on his throat. I'd happily see him banned from driving (over this and plenty of other things), however broken bones have the same effect and he's been told in no uncertain terms that that was a very real option for him. My children have been told never to get in his car under any circumstances but you try getting a 5 year old boy and 9 year old girl to disagree with two grown ups when they are left in their care. Won't happen again.

  33. #33
    Grand Master Saint-Just's Avatar
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    The reason for asking the age was probably twofold, and you identified both. One because of the likely requirement for a specific child seat (a normal seatbelt is too high without one and can injure a child) and two because of their ability to say "no"


    PS: I mean the latter as saying no to a grown up, like "my father said I shouldn't and I want to talk to him first before I get in the car" of course, not stamping their foot. I know all about that one

    PPS: also, your SiL may be sensible but she also has a family to keep together, at least for the moment, and may not see the compromise in the same light as you do.
    'Against stupidity, the gods themselves struggle in vain' - Schiller.

  34. #34
    Nothing to add that hasnít already been said, but fwiw I donít think youíre overreacting.

  35. #35
    You've threatened him with violence? If that is the case you are quickly moving from being the aggrieved party with full sympathy to an immature and aggressive pratt who will get and deserve none.

  36. #36
    Journeyman
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    Quote Originally Posted by jonah View Post
    Hi Longwood, Thats about the most dumb statement ever. Are you a troll or just a pratt.
    The name is Longwool!
    Not a troll and not a prat thank you. Just realistic. The way people go on these days I wonder how we ever survived.


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  37. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by Franky Four Fingers View Post
    Very different.
    Yes you are correct, cars are inherently safer these days than the were then so the risk is even lower.


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  38. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by wileeeeeey View Post
    And look how you turned out!

    Iím not aware that you know me. Turned out fine thank you very much.


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  39. #39
    Master
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    Quote Originally Posted by ernestrome View Post
    You've threatened him with violence? If that is the case you are quickly moving from being the aggrieved party with full sympathy to an immature and aggressive pratt who will get and deserve none.

    Yes, I most certainly have. I don't recall meeting you in person ernestrome but understand that I'm neither immature nor overly aggressive, I've used my fists less than a handful of times in 40 years. I wanted him to understand that this isn't something he can shrug off, it's going to have consequences. If that aids an apology then good. If it doesn't, so be it.
    He knew I didn't want my kids in his car. He took them in his car. He did so without any safety measures in place and he drove illegally over capacity.
    Some of you guys have a level of patience and understanding that I can only dream of.
    Last edited by kevkojak; 30th May 2021 at 17:05.

  40. #40
    Christ, there’s a few ball bags on here today.....bit of sun and a few shandy’s before a BHM brings them out I suppose

  41. #41
    Master blackal's Avatar
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    Just take a firm stand - thats parenting.

    No need for theatrics or lectures..... let the others do what they want with their kids.

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  42. #42
    Grand Master
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    I'd just make it clear to all parties that your kids will never be looked after by them again. You don't have to do anything else. If they object, you calmly point out that they were prepared to take risks with your children that you would never take and they only get to do that once in a lifetime. In a year or two when everyone has forgotten. You don't. It's that simple.

  43. #43
    Master TimeThoughts's Avatar
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    I think you're over reacting and I don't think you'll get a constructive outcome. They have a different standard to you and you know about it now. I reckon you shouldn't let the kids with them unless you and your missus are present and take that as a learning.

  44. #44
    Quote Originally Posted by Longwool View Post
    Yes you are correct, cars are inherently safer these days than the were then so the risk is even lower.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    Yes cars are inherently safer these days however an impact at 70 with no seatbelt on is still an impact at 70 with no seatbelt on, unless the laws of physics have greatly changed in the intervening years. The point I was making was that 40 plus years ago seatbelt laws weren’t in place and not a lot of cars were fitted with belts anyway..... nowadays there’s no excuse.

  45. #45
    Grand Master Chris_in_the_UK's Avatar
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    Wearing of seatbelts is the law, end of.
    When you look long into an abyss, the abyss looks long into you.........

  46. #46
    Your children are always watching and listening. What are they learning from your behaviour?

  47. #47
    Master Zephyr's Avatar
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    I donít think there is much that can be done now apart from this. But Iíd of done exactly the same as you in threatening a good slap, the husband is obviously a huge knob. Five seats five belts five passengers etc it doesnít really need a lot of working out, heís putting your kids lives at risk and breaking the law too, never again.


    Quote Originally Posted by M4tt View Post
    I'd just make it clear to all parties that your kids will never be looked after by them again. You don't have to do anything else. If they object, you calmly point out that they were prepared to take risks with your children that you would never take and they only get to do that once in a lifetime. In a year or two when everyone has forgotten. You don't. It's that simple.

  48. #48
    Master
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    He sounds like a moron, Iíd avoid as many interactions as possible with him.

    However, your wife and her sister have a relationship far longer than yours. Iím sure, while they were young they never imagined one of their husbands physically threatening the other.

    You were, in the right, but getting physical is only for your benefit, not the kids and certainly not your wifeís. It wonít change anything, no matter what, you wonít be leaving the kids with them again.

    I donít say this to be superior, Iíve had plenty of run ins with my Iím laws but Iíve come to accept theyíll never change so why try. And, the effect it had only upset my wife. Iím sure she knew what they were doing but who wants to admit that about their own family I suppose.

  49. #49
    Grand Master snowman's Avatar
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    Some very intemperate comments from a lot of people here.

    FWIW I think the OP may be over reacting a little.

    It wasn't sensible (or legal) on the SIL's part, but I'm not sure it justifies involving the police.

    If you can't discuss this with your SIL (or your wife can't), you probably shouldn't be trusting her with you children at all.

    M

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  50. #50
    Grand Master Dave+63's Avatar
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    I think Snowman is right; whatís done is done. Itís understandable that youíre angry and want a revenge of sorts but, at the end of the day no harm was done and a lesson has been learned.

    Your kids are safe and well and you will never allow them to be put in that situation again.

    Whether to choose to have any further contact with your BIL is a family matter.

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