Reply With QuoteThis thread has got me thinking, however this came to straight away - Not having a TV in our bedroom after moving in together.
Dogs - I could never be without one.
MrsV - an enormous life improving force, even though she gives me a headache at times.
Quitting social services after 20 years to go work in the watch industry instead. I was significantly burnt out and dealing with sexual assault / rape all the time was really beginning to colour my outlook on humanity so it was time to go.
Watches in general - Even though I cant wear all of them I love to get them out and prink every evening while deciding what to wear next day, and reading researching, I find it all very relaxing as it takes me away from the days strains and into my own world for half an hour.
Streaming services like Netflix, Prime etc. Can you remember the days of constant bloody adverts? Begone!
Stove top coffee.
Agree with whoever said robot vacuum cleaner - I loved mine but unfortunately it stayed with my flat which I now have a tenant in so he's getting the feet-up benefit.
This thread has got me thinking, however this came to straight away - Not having a TV in our bedroom after moving in together.
I have often been very tempted to just get rid of a TV all together... anyone just not watch any?Originally Posted by Chinese_Alan
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Planting Tulips in plant pots , loads of them .So easy to grow ,so beautiful to look at .
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My daughter (and a son on the way). Bloody hard work and frustrating at times, but what a joy she is and now she's in her toddler years she is becoming a fun mate to be around. It makes you feel like a kid again - I now have an excuse for running and jumping around the house or making stupid noises.
Walking: Part-way through lockdown I started early morning or nighttime walks, partly for exercise and fresh air, partly to let my brain wander and unwind. That's now settled into twice-weekly walks across the New Forest, which I live on the edge of. Just walking and letting your brain go wherever it needs, while being surrounded by nature, is good for every part of you.
Cutting my hair short: No more faffing in front of the mirror every day, I can wear a hood when it rains or a hat when it's cold without vanity-related fear, and I now realise nobody else gives a hoot what I look like.
Things I need to work on that I know hold me back...
Contentment. I need to stop coming up with wish lists and the next thing I need, and really, truly enjoy what I have already.
Being present. I can check my phone later... I need to be in the moment more (he says, from his desk, when I should be working).
1). I learnt in my early twenties that being content was the key to a happy life (for me anyway). This probably held me back ambition wise but I don’t regret it.
2). Mrs Quality, together seven years and she means everything to me.
3). After a few years of ill health (Meningitis, ME and a couple of mini strokes) finally admitting I couldn’t work full time anymore, gave up my management role and now work 20 hours a week from home, should have done it sooner!
4). TZ-UK!
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Some great positive posts here; I'd love a dog but they are a huge tie and we do like to travel a lot and I don't think that is compatible with a dog but maybe one day.
Biggest life positives for me have been:
1) Mrs. Montello ... married 22 years
2) Sport - always been very active in sports mainly sailing & cycling
3) Not working too hard; went self employed 18 years ago and have been easing off a lot recently
Recent changes during covid:
Massive declutter of the house ...
1) All books donated to charity
2) All CD's ripped and the donated to charity
3) All paperwork scanned and shredded
4) Numerous other items donated or sold on eBay
5) What remains has been organised such that I know where the stuff I need is ...
This process has been great but I doubt we'd have ever done it if it wasn't for the time forced on us by the various lockdowns ...
I have also sold 2 watches that were nice but little worn ...
I would love a dog but it would be unfair to leave him or her at home all day by themselves. I do understand the joy and company they bring and still miss the dog I had as a teen.
The top three things that have improved my life would be:
1. The Mrs. She is the most easy going woman on the planet but she has also made me grow up. Thinking back I was a mess in my 20s / early 30s. verging on alcoholism and getting in to all sorts of trouble. She also introduced me to the joys of Africa and now I love visiting. I have had 10 very happy years with her
2. Rugby. It has given me so much since a young age, confidence, respect, fitness, discipline and life long mates and continues to do so (I am about to leave home and go and run around in the rain at the age of 40 - daft really)
3. My Family, we are very close and they they are the best family I could have asked for.
a left field no4 would be my ex mrs... if it were not for her and the fact she was my ex bosses bit on the side I might have ended up in a cr@p job without the success I have now. (doing the bosses bit on the side meant I had no choice but to leave when he found out) Getting involved with her made me join the firm I am now at and I have never looked back, that said she was a horrid narcissistic b!tch
Last edited by Sinnlover; 28th April 2021 at 18:06.
Yep.
Got rid of that trash years ago. No loss whatsoever.
Volunteering at a heritage railway.
By the summer of last year I’d lost a lot of confidence and had to fight to get it back. In what turned out to be a moment of inspiration I contacted the local heritage railway and volunteered. Had to drag myself to the induction and then the first volunteering day but found it wonderfully therapeutic. It reactivated a lot of long-lost skills, and the two groups I work with are super company and supportive.
Going on a waiting list for, and getting, an allotment.
I know I’ve taken on a big, long term project but again the new people around me up there have been helpful, supportive and inspiring.
Year-round sea swimming with my partner.
It’s been great to do something new with Sal. We’ve gone through this winter swimming together and I think it’s bought us closer together.
Thanks for the thread and all the great contributions.
Ambling in the front garden and eating the Nispero/ Loquats and Oranges straight from the trees.
Running, especially down through the hills to the coast and then having a swim. Off season sometimes I'm the only person on the beach it's great.
Pool in the backyard, always been a personal dream.
Mrs P, immeasurably so.
Learning to Scuba dive and doing it regularly.
For me, the try dive was an epiphany.
Why hadn't I done this years before and how could I do it again soon?
I started late (in my late 40s), but I dive in the UK as well as abroad when the chance arises, so I have managed to do a fair bit of diving.
I guess in another universe, I could have given up work and gone off somewhere sunny to become a dive guide, but I had commitments, so. I do what I can and I've always suspected that doing what you love as a job runs a high risk of ruining it for you.
It helps keep me relatively fit and even the most mundane dive takes you into another world, away from all your day to day worries.
Works for me.
M
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Breitling Cosmonaute 809 - What's not to like?
We watch a fair bit (7-10pm on weeknights) but when we go upstairs all distractions are then downstairs I guess so it’s a nice separation.
As you can imagine there’s no chance I would get rid in full but I’ll never have one in a bedroom of mine again. No chance.
Me almost. Only football and bit of netflix
In chronological order:
Joining Dateline
Good job, decent social life, useless at meeting women. Finally decided in my mid twenties to do something about it. Only met one girl. We celebrate our 30th anniversary in June.
Becoming a MAMIL
Took up road cycling seriously about 8 years ago, including joining my local club. Love it, wish I had done it years before. Cycling has had a huge impact on my physical and mental well-being. Lost lots of weight, feel great, made some great friends all over the world and ridden in some beautiful places. Oh and it is another thing to develop an obsession for.
Making the most of a bad situation
Having always been a bit of a workaholic my work life balance was never particularly good. Along comes a pandemic and I am suddenly WFH 100%. Suddenly find that I can go for a short ride some days, have lunch (nearly) every day with Mrs Weedram who is also 100% WFH thanks to Covid and we even go for a short walk together most days and are really enjoying each other’s company. And finally I have been able to secure my ideal role, which before the pandemic I would have needed to relocate for but will work remotely and travel occasionally. And I certainly don’t miss my old commute!
What an inspiring thread!
1) Marriage and kids - at nearly 58 having just celebrated my wifes 58th birthday today with my son and daughter. After 33 years of marriage I couldn't imagine being without them. We fought (figuratively) like cats and dogs at times when we were younger, but stuck at it and have travelled a fair bit of the world and now have two wonderful children, 25 and 29 years old. We've been through some terrifying health issues with our eldest and appreciate the time we have together all the more - some people get no warnings.
2) Summoning the courage to leave a pretty well paid secure job at 43 with a large (to us) mortgage, a 9 and 14 year old child and no savings, to start on our own with a friend / business partner.
3) Retiring at 56 leaving the majority of the company in the hands of an Employee Ownership Trust, guilt and responsibility free, but still enjoying a share of my labours.
4) Finally being on the mend from an herniated disc which had me bedridden for 6 weeks and out of action for 4 months realising how precious our healthy time is.
GARDENING
Anyone with a piece of unused land, try make your garden. Or do it on the balcony
I am currently planting vegetables, strawberries and herbs/spices. I am even planning to buy a nice piece on the countryside for the whole family activity. There is something deeply relaxing and joyful in working with land... and after a good physical labour cold beer is the best
Great thread.
Agree gardening, especially cordon tomatoes - easy, tickles the ocd and tastes better than bought.
Walking, esp in the last year. Heard an interesting thing about novelty makes new memories, so try to vary the route a little bit. Great for anxiety, walk it off.
Learning to be more realistic with what house jobs I’ll accomplish and then make time to switch off and not feel guilty about it.
Love my water rower - particularly when feeling tired and rubbish even a gentle half hour paddle helps a lot and boosts energy.
Celebrate often. If was given something nice to eat/drink I used to hoard away for a special occasion. Have reversed the mindset to use the treat to make a normal evening special.
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- Single cask whisky from SMWS, it’s a completely different drink.
- A good home cinema system with a projector, particularly over the last year or so, it really works.
It seems there are some rules for happiness given so many common themes in this (lovely) thread. Mine are:
- Seeing my children grown into fantastic young adults and having conversations with them where they clearly know more than me in many areas. I've always encouraged them to be curious and now it's great that I can learn from them.
- My other half. After a very difficult ending to my marriage and a lot of introspection I met the most fantastic person and I can't imagine anyone more perfect for me - unbelievable good luck.
- The realisation that I can't fix everything. I've always been a problem solver and would tackle most things but these days I'm more relaxed and it's OK if I can't do it.
- Exercise. I've always been a tennis player and in the last 10 years I've picked up cycling. So good for you in middle age and of course the trick is to find something you love to do so you don't really notice the exercise part.
My Cataract operation end of
Open University. The wife & kids watch TV and I sort of slip into my study and do an hour here and there on OU stuff. Keeps my head keen and keeps me off the beer.
I spent a few years at sea and I never watched TV since (maybe a football match or the news). TV is a disaster.
Been tipping away at OU here and there for 20 years and I have 2 extra degrees. Learned all sorts with them and I really enjoy it.
It’s not the right thing to say but I love working. I’m mobile and work all over the country so no two days are ever the same .
I hated gardening but have recently taken to growing fruit and veg . Had a fairly good crop last year at the first attempt so I’ve expanded a little. Planted and fixed a mature espalier tree early on so will wait to see how this goes .
Cycling and walking locally is both underrated and extremely cathartic. Great trails and walkways in the middle of suburbia are a treat.
Helping people at work and socially.
But managing pressure by pushing back on those who demand too much. You don't need to be rude.
Getting a dog has changed my life to be honest. He has made me a better person and softened me up somewhat.
aww love seeing him around the forum!Getting a dog has changed my life to be honest. He has made me a better person and softened me up somewhat.
Love this thread, thanks to the OP, and I'm determined to plant some tulips this Autumn!!
For me I think I've found 'balance' and I'm also now a bit of a 'liberal'.
To explain, my business went bust back in 2009, our home was repossessed and I beat myself up about it every day we were living in rented....
I bought us another house in 2015 and six months after we moved in, my wife was diagnosed with breast cancer.
But six years later my wife is now 'five years clear', I've cleared our mortgage (or have sufficient funds to do so when I'm out of the fixed rate penalty period), and we count our blessings every day.
I have a sometimes stressful job (I appreciate everything's relative and I'm no life-saving A&E surgeon but my job can be stressful to me at least) and I honestly think I was on the verge of some kind of breakdown last year...
But now knowing that I'm working out of choice has been a real 'mindset changer' for me and even before I was, my wife's cancer very much changed my mind-set to that of "there are many people worse off than me".
Every year now I'm grateful that we're all healthy, and if I've moved us forward financially I try to "give something back", admittedly it's mostly by direct financial contribution to a local charity or organisation but we also try and get 'more involved' locally even if it's fund-raisers, cleaning up the park or whatever...
We're ever more grateful for our health and our lives, and we kind of want to "give a bit back" if that makes sense??
It's just a nice feeling to "do something good" and while doing it should be purely altruistic (?) I've gotta be honest, just knowing that I've helped someone in some way is a selfish reward in itself.
So just "being a better person" (or at least trying to be) makes me happy I guess....
and as many have said before me, a dog.
Our dog is absolutely beautiful but undeniably thick as a plank, and yet she never fails to make me smile every time I see her.
Running - I only started about 3 years ago (and I'm at best an average runner), but it has been good for me both physically and mentally.
My kids - Both of ours were very premature (and we had another premature little boy who didn't make it between them), and the stresses of those processes and events gave me a lot of perspective, plus them being happy is an infinite source of happiness for me. Few things make me smile as much as hearing them laugh.
Dave E
Skating away on the thin ice of a new day
Think this fella has changed me also.Getting a dog has changed my life to be honest. He has made me a better person and softened me up somewhat.
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I’m so sorry to read of your son mate, and so happy to read of your other kids too.
Gavbaz - that is a superb looking dog. More pictures are welcome!
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Not quite.
I only watch the food network as I like cooking.
And a box set when I’m on the exercise bike.
But other than that, nothing. The biggest thing is not watching the news. I don’t read papers either. Find myself much less stressed as a result.
Gotta say getting my motorbike license is definitely up there !!
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Moving out of London - wish I’d done it when the kids were younger.
Not commuting by public transport - see above!
Not worrying about my disabled son so much - he’s happy, so I am too
Not caring what other people think
Not drinking unless it’s just to be sociable - and even then sticking to just a couple of units max. I just don’t enjoy it!
Working to live, not living to work!
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Retirement!
Cheers,
Neil.
Brilliant!!
I echo many of the thoughts already expressed including the virtues of a good woman, fatherhood, exercise in general (walking is kind on the body and the soul), the calmness of dogs etc. Thought I would add a few I have yet to see get a mention:
Audible/Audiobooks
This is part of my new lockdown habit, combining lengthy walks with interesting books read to me as I stroll around London. A good Podcast now and again does the same job. I can often spend 3-4 hours out walking and I am half way through a book by the time I am home. I also find I seem to digest and recall the literature better listening to, rather than reading.
Yoga
Recommended by my Physio after yet another (ACL) knee repair. Yoga calms the mind, it has made me much stronger, and reduced the daily aches and pains of life and sports injuries. Some people take up golf (I can't stand it), but I will be practising yoga for the rest of my days.
Crypto
I have been trading for the last 20 years professionally and have had part of my portfolio in crypto since early 2017. It has literally changed my life financially and I now have an independence that I only dream about. I understand the risk profile is not for everyone, but in 20 years as a professional trader I have never seen the asymmetry and risk reward profile as in crypto in March last year.
Love this thread.
Thought of another - I deleted Instagram two or so years ago, it was just eating into so much of my time and I was spending my mid twenties thinking I hadn’t done well enough when I was doing very well all things considered. Absolutely awful for mental health.
I hear people talking about it now and I shudder. “Did you see this on Instagram?” - but it’s usually a crap restaurant or sweatshop clothing.
That said - I download it to document holiday photos and the odd visit to a nice restaurant from time to time. I’m my own worst enemy.
In rough date order:
Passing my driving test nearly 50 years ago - being stuck in a village reliant on parents, pushbike or infrequent bus (and illegal motorbike) became a thing of the past and a whole new world of freedom opened up;
Beer - still love the stuff;
Partner and kids - all have helped keep me sane, if not slim;
Motorbike - like the car;
Giving up smoking after about 40 years - just made the decision and did it cold turkey. Although I used to enjoy smoking (roll-ups) I don't think I was ever really strongly addicted, but I almost immediately started to feel better;
Mattress - a decent one made a massive difference to the quality of my sleep and the rest of my day;
Stopping work/retirement - no more commuting, time to please myself;
Prunes - say no more.
Last edited by Stanford; 4th May 2021 at 22:51.
Jelqing.
Threads like this one, it really makes me realize how much I settle for just getting by and not actually getting on with anything. I want a dog, to live in the countryside etc but I can not with my current job/way of living, so I settle for not getting one when after reading this it reminds me that I should in fact be changing my life to make it happen.
Brilliant thread,
Had to google that but
Agreed.
Nice to see some positivity on here....
That should definitely have been on my list - but by a different nameHad to google that but
Getting rid of bad friends. ( never keep bad friends, you will regret it )
Quitting smoking about 2008. ( vile stuff that really did ruin my lungs )
Quitting drinking about 2004. ( Best thing ever, its total garbage )
Losing near 2 1/2 stone, down to about 10 1/2 stone and keeping it off by simply skipping brekfast ( yes that works )
This..IMG_5941.JPG
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Same hereHad to google that but
Had to Google that. Then delete my history. I feel a massive c*ck.
(Well, I hope after 6 months...)
I KNEW I shouldn't google it.............that'll teach me to pay more attention to my instincts
Glad I didn't Google that from my work laptop. Happy to have DuckDuckGo installed.
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