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Thread: Wife in hospital, no visitors

  1. #1

    Wife in hospital, no visitors

    Evening all

    What a terrible week. Wife is in hospital and because of covid no visitors allowed.

    Quick background. Wife is 43 years old and 20 years ago just after we met, she had bad stomach pain and ending up in hospital. They ended up opening her up and found nothing other than signs of IBS, whipped her appendix out while they were in there and sent her on her way with IBS meds. 20 years on and she is mostly trouble free, avoids caffeine and too much dairy and she's fine. The occasional flare up is soon sorted with a few tablets.

    Fast forward to last Saturday and she had pain, took meds and laid up for the day. No change Mon or Tues. Wed it's getting worse, so enough is enough and go to 111 online, who say a nurse callback within an hour. 30 mins later, call from a Dr, who arranged an appointment that evening at our hospitals combined A&E/urgent care unit. First Dr says doesn't look like IBS, could be an ulcer or gall bladder, i'll get a surgeon. Surgeon says probably not ulcer or gall bladder, most likely IBS, but we'll get you in tomorrow for a CT scan.

    Dropped her off on Wed morning for her CT scan and that's the last i've seen of her. CT scan showed obstructions in the lower bowel, so they kept her in. Dropped an overnight bag off, but wasn't allowed on the ward to see her, so just handed it to a nurse. That evening she had a tube up the nose to empty her stomach and relieve pressure from the blockage

    Next morning, wife text me to say they were going to operate to take a look. Soon after a call from a Dr to say they were going to take a look, hopefully keyhole, but could be a full job. Most likely scar tissue growth adhesions on the bowel from her previous op, but nastier more sinister things were not fully ruled out. Dropped another bag off at about midday with more pj's and stuff to be told she'd already gone to theater, so went home to await an update.

    5pm comes and i've heard nothing, that was a horrible wait with no news, i was thinking all sorts and was even pondering how i would cope with 2 young kids on my own. So i rang the ward at 5 to be told she wasn't back but had gone to ITU, more horrible thoughts. Was transferred to ITU who said she'd only just arrived 5 mins earlier, so they knew nothing and would update me later. Another horrible wait until 8pm when i rang them up. Keyhole went out the window, they removed a couple of scar tissue adhesions that were causing the trouble, nothing sinister found, but here was a bowel perforation just above the adhesions, so the had to cut a bit out and rejoin.

    Rang them again this morning, she's doing OK, but in pain and miserable, tubes in her tummy draining anything nasty. Got to talk to her, but with the pain, the morphine etc, didn't get much. Spoke to the nurse after and she was being transferred to a ward and could have her phone, but best guess is shes gonna be in for a week at least. Had a few texts today, but with a combination of dyslexia, pain and morphine, it's mostly illegible, lol

    So all in all, a horrible week. But not being able to see her is the hardest, especially with 2 kids at home that haven't spent more than a night or 2 away from their mum. Thankyou to the NHS for everything you do and fixing her, i understand visitors aren't allowed, but even though you're busy, a bit more communication with loved ones would be appreciated, no one should have to sit at home wondering if their wife is alive or not

  2. #2
    Grand Master RustyBin5's Avatar
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    Stay positive and strong and Iím glad nothing sinister was found. Sheíll be back keeping you in line in no time at all. In the meantime keep the kids positive and maybe they could make something nice for mum to come home to.

  3. #3
    I can't imagine what you're going through and have been going through Blighty, sounds like a very challenging time. The news sounds positive overall though, which is hopefully some comfort.

  4. #4
    Wishing her a speedy recovery.

  5. #5
    Master Onelasttime's Avatar
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    Jesus! My thoughts are with you. It sounds horrific.

    I had to do similar for a week pre-Covid and that was bad enough. They never did discover what the problem was but two weeks later an acupuncturist diagnosed sciatica, which fitted all the symptoms and made perfect sense because it started after sheíd been running.

    The NHS are amazing but you need to get the right person in the right department otherwise it seems to be a massive guessing game.

    I wish you both luck and fingers crossed sheís back home soon.

  6. #6
    Grand Master
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    I know it's tough, I've been there with my wife, but try not to dwell on negative thoughts. They haven't found anything sinister which is the most important thing.

  7. #7
    What an awful experience for you all, hopefully everything will be fine for your wife.

    R
    Ignorance breeds Fear. Fear breeds Hatred. Hatred breeds Ignorance. Break the chain.

  8. #8
    Master
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    Hope she makes a speedy recovery, so you can be reunited again.
    A couple I know had a bad situation. The girlfriend took him to hospital on Christmas night as he had fallen ill with covid, the next time she saw him was to agree to switch life support off.
    Itís at times like this that the need to contain the spread of covid, hits home the most.
    Keep your kids positive (I donít know how old they are) but joke with them telling them that mum went into hospital just to have a break from homeschooling (or something along those lines.
    Sheíll be up on her feet and home before you know it.

  9. #9
    Thanks all, i'm positive now, but yesterday was horrible

    Kids are mostly ok, 8yr old daughter misses mum but understands, 10yr old son is autistic and isn't quite understanding and has been upset, but mostly ok. Mothers day tomorrow and we have a raft of school made crafts to show if wife is well enough for a video call

    - - - Updated - - -

    Thanks all, i'm positive now, but yesterday was horrible

    Kids are mostly ok, 8yr old daughter misses mum but understands, 10yr old son is autistic and isn't quite understanding and has been upset, but mostly ok. Mothers day tomorrow and we have a raft of school made crafts to show if wife is well enough for a video call

  10. #10
    Grand Master
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    That'll be lovely.

    [QUOTE=Brighty;5698657]Thanks all, i'm positive now, but yesterday was horrible

    Kids are mostly ok, 8yr old daughter misses mum but understands, 10yr old son is autistic and isn't quite understanding and has been upset, but mostly ok. Mothers day tomorrow and we have a raft of school made crafts to show if wife is well enough for a video call

  11. #11
    Our hospital has changed its visiting arrangements this week, from no visitors to:

    • One visitor (ideally from the same household or support bubble as the patient) may visit a ward for one hour a day after the patient has been in hospital for 24 hours. Visiting slots must be booked with the ward team and we ask that this visitor remains consistent and is the same for each visit. Under current Coronavirus (COVID-19) guidelines children are not able to visit our wards, apart from in exceptional / compassionate circumstances.


    May be worth a call to the ward sister/matron to where your wife is being transferred.

    All the best

  12. #12
    Master
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    Stay positive

  13. #13
    Master unclealec's Avatar
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    I offer my sympathy.
    Sounds very similar to a medical incident I went through when about the same age as your wife. Adhesions from a previous operation went horribly wrong. Glad to hear that the outlook improves as the days pass, so hopefully you will soon be reunited, though the recoup time will be quite long and will need to be strictly, er, adhered to.
    I had aftershocks caused by non-compliance with medical instructions to relax, so make sure she doesn't re-enact my stupidity.
    Last edited by unclealec; 13th March 2021 at 23:47.

  14. #14
    Craftsman
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    Hang in there. Not sure where you are but happy to help with anything. I've git autistic twins so know how you feel.

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  15. #15
    Grand Master Mr Curta's Avatar
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    Wishing your wife a speedy recovery and yourself a way to find respite from anxiety. Your mind works overtime in such situations, if you have someone with a kind ear that you can talk to it will help, and the distractions of a daft watch forum with a lot of incredibly supportive members is not a bad way to spend some time. Have some treats and try to do some fun and creative things with the kids. I hope you can get a video call in soon.
    Inform - Educate - Entertain

  16. #16
    Master
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    Sorry to hear this, should be fine if only a small operation of this type.

  17. #17
    Quote Originally Posted by rdesouza View Post
    Hang in there. Not sure where you are but happy to help with anything. I've git autistic twins so know how you feel.

    Sent from my SM-T510 using TZ-UK mobile app
    Thankyou for the offer, we'll manage. 250 miles away from you in Maidenhead now, but that's where my wife's from, Cox Green, i'm a Cippenham lad

  18. #18
    Craftsman
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    Thats a coincidence. I actually live in Cox Green. Been here 16 years.

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  19. #19
    Journeyman
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    Sorry to hear that. Is the hospital so overwhelmed such that they could not do a better job with updating you?

    Anyway it looked like the worst is over and i wish her a speedy recovery and back to you and your kids soon.

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  20. #20
    Master vagabond's Avatar
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    Wishing your wife a speedy recovery.

    Hope you and your children get to speak to her tomorrow - I'm sure that will cheer you all up.

    Best wishes.

  21. #21
    Be positive, I was there 2 years ago waiting to hear whether my wifeís cancer surgery had gone ok, I remember a bleak few weeks, and particularly the hours after her operation when I didnít hear anything - wondering how Iíd bring up our two boys on my own, how theyíd cope - our youngest has Downís and wouldnít understand about mummy, it was heartbreaking. Thankfully all went well, youíll make it through this as a family, being forced apart must be awful but children are surprisingly resilient. Best wishes to all of you.


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  22. #22
    Master Chinnock's Avatar
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    Relief nothing sinister, which is fantastic.

    Remain positive, focus on priorities you can control, kids etc, and be there for the ďbattered and bruisedĒ when opportunity arises.

    Things will only get better now!

  23. #23
    Master Rod's Avatar
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    Hi Brightly, hope she's recovering well. Is she in the Darlo Memorial? PM me if I can be of any help. Rod

  24. #24
    All the best.

  25. #25
    Quote Originally Posted by Rod View Post
    Hi Brightly, hope she's recovering well. Is she in the Darlo Memorial? PM me if I can be of any help. Rod
    Hi Rod. Yes she's in Darlo. Thanks the the offer but all good. Needed someone to mind the kids while i go and drop stuff of but have friends with kids in Cockerton that can do that
    Last edited by Brighty; 14th March 2021 at 00:37.

  26. #26
    Master
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    I was in a similar situation, my wife had a stroke in early December at 7.00am and I was unable to speak to anyone even to find out if she was still alive until 4.00pm. The staff were run ragged over covid and most of the nurses looked knackered. I saw her at 5.00pm the following day and was just allowed one hours visit and had to wear full protective clothing. Again this was because of covid.

    She was released on boxing day, probably earlier than what was sensible but there was too many covid patients in the hospital and nursing staff were heavily infected. So leaving slightly early was the lesser of two evils.

    Three days after she returned home, we had a text advising that a patient in the ward had tested covid positive and that Sue was at high risk, so 10 days of worrying self isolation followed.

    The moral of the tale is simple, whatever you do, don't get ill until covid is well and truly eradicated. No one is to blame, it's just one of those rare acts of nature.

  27. #27
    Master
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    Sorry to hear of your troubles. Fingers crossed sheís back with you very soon.
    Hopefully you and the kids get to the video call for Motherís Day.

  28. #28
    Quote Originally Posted by Mick P View Post
    The moral of the tale is simple, whatever you do, don't get ill until covid is well and truly eradicated.
    Easier said than done.

  29. #29
    Quote Originally Posted by Mick P View Post
    I was in a similar situation, my wife had a stroke in early December at 7.00am and I was unable to speak to anyone even to find out if she was still alive until 4.00pm. The staff were run ragged over covid and most of the nurses looked knackered. I saw her at 5.00pm the following day and was just allowed one hours visit and had to wear full protective clothing. Again this was because of covid.

    She was released on boxing day, probably earlier than what was sensible but there was too many covid patients in the hospital and nursing staff were heavily infected. So leaving slightly early was the lesser of two evils.

    Three days after she returned home, we had a text advising that a patient in the ward had tested covid positive and that Sue was at high risk, so 10 days of worrying self isolation followed.

    The moral of the tale is simple, whatever you do, don't get ill until covid is well and truly eradicated. No one is to blame, it's just one of those rare acts of nature.
    yeah it's really bad at the moment. Thankfully the wife had her first vaccine dose 2 weeks ago, so she should be reasonably protected from that

  30. #30
    Master
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    Not much to add bar Iím glad your wife has come through the surgery okay and I wish her a speedy recovery and my best to you and the kids till sheís home

  31. #31
    Master
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    Sorry to hear about your wife, hopefully she wonít be in much longer.

    My wife is a sister in a hospital on her ward which is a regional specialist unit and also a clean ward (no COVID patients) they are short staffed, as staff have gone to work on COVID wards, others have gone off sick due to stress caused by several reasons including the thought of being moved to a COVID ward, and the pressure to work more hours. My wife has worked five days this week, which doesnít seem too bad until you look at the numbers these are 14 hour shifts and there lucky to get a 5 minute break during a shift, add in the hour and a quarter commute each way and itís a long day and thatís if they get out on time which often isnít the case. Pre COVID Iíd normally see the wife get home about 9:30 pm now it can be approaching midnight or gone.
    With the restrictions on visiting it adds an extra burden, say a ward has 20 beds and each person has someone calling once a day which takes 5 minutes thatís 1hr 40 on the phone.
    I know my wife and most of her team canít wait for visiting to return to normal.


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  32. #32
    Journeyman
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    Quote Originally Posted by bloater View Post
    Sorry to hear about your wife, hopefully she wonít be in much longer.

    My wife is a sister in a hospital on her ward which is a regional specialist unit and also a clean ward (no COVID patients) they are short staffed, as staff have gone to work on COVID wards, others have gone off sick due to stress caused by several reasons including the thought of being moved to a COVID ward, and the pressure to work more hours. My wife has worked five days this week, which doesnít seem too bad until you look at the numbers these are 14 hour shifts and there lucky to get a 5 minute break during a shift, add in the hour and a quarter commute each way and itís a long day and thatís if they get out on time which often isnít the case. Pre COVID Iíd normally see the wife get home about 9:30 pm now it can be approaching midnight or gone.
    With the restrictions on visiting it adds an extra burden, say a ward has 20 beds and each person has someone calling once a day which takes 5 minutes thatís 1hr 40 on the phone.
    I know my wife and most of her team canít wait for visiting to return to normal.


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    I thought so, with the hospitals so overwhelmed, its no surprise...

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  33. #33
    Master
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    Sorry to hear this Brighty but sounds like she is on the mend - I suffered a perforated duodenal ulcer a long time ago and had the same op. Plenty of rest and time to recover and I'm sure she'll feel better than she has for years. Our local hospital is like a war zone at the moment, the last thing you need is to bring Covid home to your family after visiting your wife, thereby delaying her discharge further - keep positive, she'll be home soon mate.
    Last edited by Suds; 14th March 2021 at 08:36.

  34. #34
    Master
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    So sorry to read the terrible news; but like others have said nothing sinister found I wish your wife a speedy recovery. The unknown always makes the mind go into overdrive. For the children all you can do is your best and hopefully your wife will be able to to do a video chat.

    Keep your mind distracted and hopefully your wife will be home ASAP.

  35. #35
    Master Possu's Avatar
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    That sounds bloody awful. Iím hoping for a speedy recovery for your wife. Meanwhile, I hope youíre strong enough to ask for all the help you may need.

  36. #36
    Master KavKav's Avatar
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    Best wishes to your wife for a speedy recovery and to you managing a very stressful time, keeping your chin up for others is not always easy but better times will come!

  37. #37
    Master
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    Best wishes to your family brightly, this is not a great situation but stay positive Iím sure you will be together soon


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  38. #38
    Master
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    Hope she is well and back with you and the kids soon. My wife was took unexpectedly ill and they found blood clots behind each knee she was in intensive car for ten days very worrying times, but throughout I could visit, it must be terrible for you not being able to visit.

  39. #39
    Best wishes to you all and hereís to a speedy recovery.

  40. #40
    Grand Master
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    All the very best Brighty.

  41. #41
    Craftsman
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    Hope she gets better, Iím round the corner from the hospital. Park here and walk round saves paying through the nose. Iíve messaged you. J.


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  42. #42
    Quote Originally Posted by aa388 View Post
    Hope she gets better, Iím round the corner from the hospital. Park here and walk round saves paying through the nose. Iíve messaged you. J.


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    Thankyou for the very kind offer. I've replied. Hospital have suspended parking charges for the moment, so I've been parking there FOC

  43. #43
    Craftsman T1ckT0ck's Avatar
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    My thoughts are with you and your family, stay strong together.


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  44. #44
    Master Templogin's Avatar
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    A frightening experience for both of you. I hope that she has a speedy recovery. I will echo what has been said by others, the already depleted workforce has been further depleted by nurses catching Coronavirus. Keep a positive mindset is the best advice. She is in the best place, and unlike US hospitals, there will be no big bill to follow. I hope that you and the kids manage the video call when their mum is lucid.

  45. #45
    Thatís awful. Sorry youíve both been through it this week. Fingers crossed for a quick recovery.

    All the best
    It's just a matter of time...

  46. #46
    Master wildheart's Avatar
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    Yes stay positive mate, fingers crossed for you both. All the best


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  47. #47
    Grand Master Griswold's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this, you must have been worried sick! Hoping your wife has a full and speedy recovery, stay positive.
    Best Regards - Peter

    I hate being bipolar, its brilliant.

  48. #48
    Little update
    She's doing ok, on the mend, slowly. Most tubes and drains are out and she can walk a little with help from a zimmer. Eating a little and things are taking their journey ok, so all plumbed up right.
    A few days after the op, the Dr's told her if she'd stayed home another day, she probably wouldn't have made it. Which is scary stuff.
    She rang me this morning to say the Dr had said she's ok to come home today, which is great. But then another call an hour later to say physio had said no and she's being transferred to another hospital today to a rehab unit to work on her physio. She's devastated, but for the best i think

  49. #49

    Hello

    Just seen this and wanted to wish you and yours all the best. Especially Mrs Brighty of course.

    Hopefully your wife escapes hospital soon and makes as good a recovery as possible.

    Best,

    Ben

  50. #50
    Master Artistmike's Avatar
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    I'm so glad that things are slowly working out OK for your wife, it must have been awful for you both. Pass on my best wishes as well.

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