Reply With QuoteI'd just send a nice condolence card. Say how sorry you were to hear of her loss and offer your help if she needs it when she can move out.
Your wife might have some suggestions for the wording.
Hi all, in need of a bit of advice as I'm rubbish at this kind of touchy feel stuff.
So 8yrs ago, after my parents passed away, we rented out their bungalow, which was taken by an elderly couple who were moving back to the UK from France. I've only ever dealt with the agent and have never met or spoken to the couple before.
Got word today that the tree man I'd found to do some work there is free this Fri, so needed to get the OK sharpish so he could book it in. Couldn't get hold of the agent, so found the tenants land-line in the online phone book to give them a call.
Spoke to the old dear who Ok'd the work, but then told me her husband passed away last month, poor old girl is in bits bless her. She wants to leave the house ASAP and move down south to be near other family, but lockdown has stopped her doing anything, so she's stuck for the time being. She said she's just got back from being with the family, so looks like she has support there, but 150miles away.
I'll obviously be as accommodating as possible regarding notice periods and whatever, that's not a problem. I'm not local, so can't offer any practical physical help. Mrs said send her some flowers, but I thought that's a bit tacky? A card maybe, but what do you write in these situations when you've never met the people? As I said, I'm rubbish at this stuff.
Cheers
Brighty
I'd just send a nice condolence card. Say how sorry you were to hear of her loss and offer your help if she needs it when she can move out.
Your wife might have some suggestions for the wording.
You don’t need to write an essay. The purpose is to show you feel their pain and will help in anyway you can as well noting the passing of someone.
Less is more in this case IMO. Something along the lies of:
Sorry for your loss, we are thinking of you at this time, please let us know if we can help in anyway would suffice. Flowers and a card is more than adequate. Do you know anyone locally that could look in on her, pop to the shops etc this may mean more to her?
Recognition of her loss and some empathy is what’s required.
Cheers for the advice, card it is.
I'll speak to the agent tomorrow to get them up to speed and ask if there's anything practical they can do or arrange to help, about time they earnt their keep.
Once I know when she's moving I'll offer some help then nearer the time, as I'll need to trek down there anyway, so don't mind helping lug some stuff about.
Send her a card with some words that will help to put her mind at ease.
I recon that may help loads.
Yep, I would say exactly this. If I was the tenant, I would really appreciate a message from the landlord, especially given the circumstances. She will have enough to worry about, without thinking whether the landlord will be chasing after her for X, Y or Z.Originally Posted by Auto
If the property is agent managed, you could mention to them, your level of flexibility. In their minds, they might be keen to get the property back on the markets ASAP.
Definitely this.
Yes, good point, I'll add something along those lines. I was caught a bit unawares on the call, she was apologetic about not being able to empty the house yet and that she was OK for the rent. I said not to worry about any of that now and to just look after herself, but I'll put something similar in writing.
I'll be sure to tell the agent to not pressure her and that I'm OK forgoing the notice if necessary
Cheers all
Last edited by Brighty; 20th January 2021 at 23:40.
My father passed away in Nov and my mum spent a lot of time worrying about daft little things such as when bills are due, how online banking works and other minor things that my father always took care of - she was worried silly.
I think as suggested above a nice card will be well appreciated and hopefully she has plenty of support from family even if just a phonecall
Last edited by kultschar; 21st January 2021 at 00:56.
Where is she Brighty?
I am involved in a similar situation but I am in Manchester and the bereaved woman is on the Hampshire coast.
Had she been within covid-restricted reach I could have been of so much more hands-on help.
Broadening the topic somewhat, I have found that most people will help most people if and when they need help. There is a sort of giant slow-moving whirlpool of altruistic help that usually results in unrewarded assistance to others eventually resulting in unrewarded assistance being offered to onesself if ever needed.
I'm just going through something similar myself on behalf of a family member and I might conclude that any message from the landlord was chasing, regardless of the wording. So I might want to intervene and let you know directly that any additional pressure at this time wouldn't be helpful.
If you can manage such a call diplomatically, that would probably help a lot.
Last edited by AlphaOmega; 21st January 2021 at 06:23.
Both the tenant and the landlord have obligations here and communication is key from all parties.
She's in Lincolnshire, her family are Hampshire, i'm up in the NE near Darlington
I obviously don't want to make her feel i'm pressuring her in any way at all, she's got enough going on, but i think a little card with some nice words and note to say not to worry about anything to do with the house and arrange her move at her own leisure/pace would be helpful. The rent is paid and she hasn't given notice, so it's her house. Not sure why she was apologetic to me about not emptying the place yet.
A bit triangulated!
Everyone is different; my scenario is that the poor woman was suddenly bereaved and has no family nor apparently any useful friends. I even had to phone her on Christmas Day so that she had at least some contact with others.
I became involved as she now has a Riley car to dispose of, which I have arranged. Had she been left to her own devices over the car, she would have exposed herself to an army of scammers and get-rich-quick merchants that unfortunately are lurking just beneath the surface.
On the other hand, I wouldn't know her if she fell on me, so I am acutely conscious of my being overwhelmingly over-helpful.
It's difficult.
Fortunately for me, a good egg that I sent to see the car has taken over the mantle of protection from a suitable distance. I wouldn't have wanted to abandon the poor woman to her flounderings.
You mentioned you use a agent for the house and also inferred they were not that hands on?
I would suggest you coordinate with them on this and make sure they know your thoughts on the matter, they may not have your empathy. ( sorry, I just noticed in a post above you are on that already)
Cheers..
Jase
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