Reply With QuoteNo direct experience of them, which is fine by me. A colleague ended up with them when his missus was pregnant. He still looks pained even today, many years after she gave birth. Piles AKA The Grapes of Wrath, Chalfont St Giles and Johnny Giles.
Or maybe not, going to the doctor to have no doubt his finger up a dark place, does any one have experience if these lovely things? (The piles that is)
No direct experience of them, which is fine by me. A colleague ended up with them when his missus was pregnant. He still looks pained even today, many years after she gave birth. Piles AKA The Grapes of Wrath, Chalfont St Giles and Johnny Giles.
My sphincter went critical when in some outback shit hole in Australia more than 30 years ago. Needed a bit of bush surgery.
From my journal. Cut out from Viz, which helped cheer me up.
I think sometimes they pass after a couple of weeks of an antiseptic and analgesic cream coupled with stool softeners.
Hope you feel better soon.
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Cheers, did the wrong thing and googled it, all the symptoms are there and the normal 'bad' alternatives.Originally Posted by BillyCasper
My sphincter went critical when in some outback shit hole in Australia more than 30 years ago. Needed a bit of bush surgery.
From my journal. Cut out from Viz, which helped cheer me up.
I think sometimes they pass after a couple of weeks of an antiseptic and analgesic cream couple with stool softeners.
Hope you feel better soon.
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
There is an NHS website these days with lots and lots of info and advice about such things.
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/piles-haemorrhoids/
Steak and ale is probably my favorite but a well made Peppered Steak can be good.
Can we count Pasties as well???
last time i had them had to go to gp as the over the counter stuff didnt work she gave me some cream which done the job
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Had them once after a back injury! Was on some meds that blocked me up a bit, and must have strained a bit too hard. Not the most pleasurable of experiences, but they soon cleared up with the help of some Anusol. Which leads me to my next story...
When I was just a wee lad, I was being a good little boy and brushing my teeth before bedtime. You know where this is going. Being all of about 6, I managed to mix up the toothpaste and the anusol cream. Must have worked though, haven’t had piles in my mouth since! My mother still reminds me of that to this day.
I read it like that at first too!
Cheers..
Jase
Piles or yet more banal Rolex threads ... hhmmm, which to choose ... and here I am.
[Nothing to add here, no experience of piles, I'm in the younger TZ demographic.]
Piles of what?
Eat more cabbage greens and some fibre, that will do the trick
It's 50% what you eat and 50% what you drink.
In the early stages of sorting yourself out you need to think of that as, it's 80% what you drink and only 20% what you eat.
Drink. Drink. Drink. Water.
Now start eating veg, fruit, and if it's rice or bread it needs to be brown and wholemeal.
Don't use steroid pile cream for more than a couple of weeks at a time.
I often have fruit and veg smoothies for breakfast, made in the Nutri bullet.. Typically; kale, spinach, beetroot, bit of red or yellow pepper, ginger, a kiwi, a satsuma, some brazils or walnuts, red grapes and a small banana.. Get that lot down yer and you'll never have to worry about the Farmers again! tastes better than it sounds..
More Viz:
Not pleasant , but GP or worst case a minor procedure will sort so not a huge problem in the great scheme of things these days
No laughing matter ... but as a diversion ( Not specially SFW)
Have you tried wire brushing them?
On the subject of dropping your trousers at the doctors:
I went to the local surgery for a prostate test and was dismayed when a pretty young nurse called my name and took me into a room.
Expecting her to put on a marigold glove I said "I bet you're even less excited about this than I am" to which she smiled and said "I'm only taking a blood test to measure your PSA"
Quietly did my belt back up with a proper beamer
Last edited by Halitosis; 18th November 2020 at 23:17.
Squirt of hairspray on a lit match, job done.
I once knew a woman who used to sit on a high-heeled shoe to push her Chalfonts back up her a*se. True story. Come to think of it I've met some rum people in my life.
When I was at the doctor's having a rectal exam, the doctor said "It's OK to have an erection".
"I haven't got one" I replied.
"No, but I have" the doctor said.
On a serious note chaps, what I thought was piles turned out to be bowel cancer. Go & get checked, your GP doesn't care a stuff about sticking his/her fingers up your exhaust pipe, they do it every day of the week.
Thanks for the advice Mike, I never knew that. Hope you are on the mend now !
Cheers
Simon
Ralph Waldo Emerson: We ask for long life, but 'tis deep life, or noble moments that signify. Let the measure of time be spiritual, not mechanical.
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