Reply With QuoteThis ^^^^^Originally Posted by awright101
If you’ve agreed a 50/50 split do the deal ASAP and don’t worry about the additional costs you mention. Amicable is key
This ^^^^^
"Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. The third time it's enemy action."
'Populism, the last refuge of a Tory scoundrel'.
100% agree, she was my mother :)
Again, might be different in Scotland but lucky the man didn’t die before it was sorted otherwise (if joint tenants) his ex-partner may have got it all.
It's the moment solicitors when solicitors get involved - or when 'friends' start whispering in one's ear... My ex and I settled without a hassle and luckily she didn't listen to 'friends'. Even without a hassle, it nearly bankrupted me. I stayed in the house and honestly, it was a too expensive for me. My savings (or what was left) went out the window in an alarming rate. At the same time, houses became more and more expensive; there was a 'boom' here during the mid-90s. Within a year after my divorce, I managed to sell the house and the profit totally covered the money I had given my ex wife. But, with the divorce settled, she was unable to get her hands on that pile of banknotes! I lived in a run-down apartment after selling the house, thinking about 'what's next?'
Then I met my (now) wife who was also living in a run-down apartment 50 kms away. We decided to do it all differently: it was the beginning of a buy-and-sell streak: buying the worst house in the best neighborhood -> bringing it back to life during the long school holidays (being a school teacher back then) -> live in it for a while -> sell it and repeat it.
In short: divorce has propelled me on the property ladder.
That sounds like good advice. The only wrinkle is that I expect property prices to fall in the near future, and I'd much rather re-mortgage after a fall than just before*. Fortunately she's rubbish at paperwork, so the financial disclosure form that mediation have asked for should keep her busy for a while.
* I'm tempted to sell now and move into rented, but I'm too chicken to step off the property ladder.
This ; I got the impression my ex-wife's man hating ultra lefty feminist were cajoling her , wanting her to join the "we ruined our ex-husbands in court to teach them a lesson" Club.
I was accused of "abandoning" my children as I had to work abroad to be able to pay the mortgage and take care of the household. Whilst my ex decried herself as being too busy to work what with looking after the children (who were at school all day) and meeting friends for coffee and doing the flower arranging at the church. Ironic considering her previously chosen career involved writing at home for 90% of the time. I remember asking her how someone so busy was managing to pile on the kgs at the same time and suggested she get busy down the gym.
If the situation was reversed I would have been branded a lazy slob parasite living off his overworked wife who was forced to spend time away from home and children to fund it all.
Apparently she was making huge sacrifices for the family by abandoning her career, despite having 8 hours free a day and everything she required at home to enable her to work.
Apparently I also had a Rolex "Seamaster" that her lawyers wanted to know the value of. If it existed it would have been worth millions I guess.
Obviously get a clean break agreement drawn up when you've decided on how to split the assets, you'll be glad you did.
Wouldn’t a prenup agreement prevent these kind of problems?
it 'might', but only the super-rich can afford to get that in place when getting married - most couples have enough financial commitments at that stage in life.
I’ll have a look into prenups.
Who knows what the future holds, but it would be sensible that both parties were adequately protected and looked after in the event of a split, without the potential costs and hassles while things are raw and fractious.
It's just a matter of time...
Interesting. In England and Wales - when it comes to the value of 'matrimonial property' is the value ascertained:
a) when the two parties declair that they are effectively 'separated' (they can continue to live in the same residence beyond this date) (THIS IS THE POINT IN SCOTLAND)
b) when the divorce procedure is commenced
c) when the decree nisi is granted
d) when the decree absolute is granted
e) some other time.
In your situation - if you see a plumet in value, then perhaps letting your wife share that drop is the better course of action? Makes it cheaper for you to buy her out (of course that applies to her if she wants to keep the house)
What do you mean by that?
In Finland mine cost something like 200-300€(1-2h lawyer fees)
Prenupts are worthless in the UK. Its 50/50 of anything accrued during the marriage as a starter and then whomever requires what they need with the major share going to the person any chikdren live with. If its 50/50 between both parents its 50/50 split of assets usually.
If one parent has given up work its usually assumed any spousal support payments on top would be based on some reasonable time limit to get the specific party back on their feet.
Beyond that most courts are aiming for a clean break.
I’m no expert but am a veteran of this battle.I would say bite the bullet and be generous now if it will safeguard any of Your pension later.
Okay - I'm wrong.
Great advice...if you win the lottery the week after you don't have to give her a penny.
Likewise if she wins the lottery the week after you won’t have to worry about what to do with your halfGreat advice...if you win the lottery the week after you don't have to give her a penny.
Not legally binding in the UK, as I found out to my considerable cost
You must have had lots of other money for her to get the whole house, as it’s total assets 50/50. If you did not get that then you were turned over badly
QUOTE=notenoughwrists;5570654]And hoping for 50/50 split might disappoint you...
Any kids?
I was in the same position 4 years ago. Property in my name only, lots of equity, etc.
We have a son of 9 at the time.
Long story short, I have her the whole house (well, we sold it and she got 100% of the equity).
Good luck with improving on that. It is a bloody minefield. Try and agree it with her, don’t take the piss (even if you want to) and get yourself away soon as.
The money will be remade.
The time spent fighting, the stress and anguish, all will never be recouped.
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I haven’t read through all the responses here so I’m sorry if I am covering ground that others have already. I am in the unfortunate position of going through a hostile divorce myself currently. I am not an expert by any means but can share what I know from the professional advice I have had so far.
On divorce there are several financial matters that are decided upon. Division of assets, spousal maintenance and child maintenance.
You response above suggests that you have the children half the time. As a result no child maintenance is paid by either of you. The default position in terms of assets and liabilities is a 50/50 split. My understanding is who contributed what and who is on the title is irrelevant so all assets, financial products and debts are considered joint. The split of the assets can be adjusted such that someone gets more of one thing to essentially buy them out of the claim to something else. An example would be to give more equity from the house in exchange for not getting half of your pensions cash equivalent transfer value.
Spousal maintenance is another consideration. This is usually relevant where there is an earning disparity between the partners. Historically this could be paid for life however mostly now it is for a fixed period of time such as 2-5years. The idea here is that the spouse that earns less get some ongoing support whilst they transition to financial independence. You can however again elect instead to offer more of the assets in lieu of ongoing payments. This gives a clean break. The advantage is you get to move on the disadvantage is if your ex-wife remarried before the end of the spousal maintenance period with ongoing payments had ended she would no longer be entitled to ongoing spousal maintenance. If you pay upfront for a clean break you can’t claim the money back if they remarry.
Ultimately what is a sensible division is going to be so dependent on personal circumstances that I don’t think anyone here will be able to tell you. What you need is to make sure that you have done your detailed voluntary financial disclosures. If your soon to be ex wife doesn’t earn much make sure she has applied for any benefits she is entitled to as that is part of her income. Then once you have the information get advice from a lawyer. A few hours of professional input will be a great deal cheaper than getting yourself into a financial hole for many years to come!
As I said not an expert but just going through this myself
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Good to know. If I ever get married again, it won’t happen in UK.
HT, very sorry you're going through this.
Ordinarily, I would agree with this.
But from speaking with friends and family, there is merit in fighting your position. By that, I mean say for six months.
Because six months' bitter fighting is preferable to a Cold War that lasts a lifetime.
My friend is a divorce lawyer and that is simply not true. It depends how it is worded and the context, but they can be very effective.Good to know. If I ever get married again, it won’t happen in UK.
Yes you are correct. Wording is the key and points like, they have do be done at least a month before the marriage, but they do stand up.
As long as you've still got your balls attached, you've come out of this pretty well...
Wouldn't quibble about a few thousand, get it done.
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