I’m confused by this thread and maybe somebody can answer, having not been through a divorce I don’t know but it seems like everything goes in favour of the women regardless of the circumstances?, whether she’s at fault or not, why is this?
It seems completely unfair and unjustified, why should you try and be as acrimonious as possible? as I’m sure I’d be far from it, I’d burn the house or car down before she got it if I couldn’t have it
Most men (including me) would agree it does seem to be unfair and leans towards women, but then go on a different website and you’ll get females saying it leans towards men, at the end of the day you just have to accept what you get otherwise solicitors get more and more the longer it goes on...Originally Posted by Hooshabak
If you asked divorcees if they were satisfied with their divorce settlement, I wonder if you would get different answers from men and women?
True, i was as happy as i could be at my 50/50 after being told on my initial meeting that my ex could walk away with 70-80% of everything, and bearing in mind my ex had the proverbial nothing when we first met then you literally could of knocked me down with a feather...
But with children involved the courts do go with the aspect of making sure they are looked after and 9 times out of 10 that means staying with the mother and living their lifestyles as they have previously the best they can...
Lets not forget that Men and Women are very different beasts, whose minds work in very different ways!
If you’ve agreed a 50/50 split do the deal ASAP and don’t worry about the additional costs you mention. Amicable is key
This ^^^^^
"Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. The third time it's enemy action."
'Populism, the last refuge of a Tory scoundrel'.
That sounds like good advice. The only wrinkle is that I expect property prices to fall in the near future, and I'd much rather re-mortgage after a fall than just before*. Fortunately she's rubbish at paperwork, so the financial disclosure form that mediation have asked for should keep her busy for a while.
* I'm tempted to sell now and move into rented, but I'm too chicken to step off the property ladder.
Interesting. In England and Wales - when it comes to the value of 'matrimonial property' is the value ascertained:
a) when the two parties declair that they are effectively 'separated' (they can continue to live in the same residence beyond this date) (THIS IS THE POINT IN SCOTLAND)
b) when the divorce procedure is commenced
c) when the decree nisi is granted
d) when the decree absolute is granted
e) some other time.
In your situation - if you see a plumet in value, then perhaps letting your wife share that drop is the better course of action? Makes it cheaper for you to buy her out (of course that applies to her if she wants to keep the house)
As long as you've still got your balls attached, you've come out of this pretty well...
Wouldn't quibble about a few thousand, get it done.
The marriage and divorce laws seem to be based around the premise that the wife gives up her career to bring up children, and thus contributes equally to the (breadwinner) man. In giving up her career, she also gives up her earning power for the future. Divorce settlements seem to be based around the idea that the wife will have custody of the children, and should be supported financially such that she can bring the children up in the manner to which they are accustomed.
Regarding burning stuff (either figuratively or literally), I'm sure it occurs to most of us. It's not really an option when there are children, unfortunately.
I was the sole earner for 20years.
Agreed to amicable settlement , no lawyers , offered her 75% of the equity , child maintenance at the calculated rate for my salary , half of the remaining assets.
She got lawyers involved . Ultimately after nearly 5 years of being attacked by her lawyers and branded a bad father she got 70% of the equity , the child maintenance ( I was already paying it anyway) a £20000 legal bill and a warning from the judge that if her legal team persisted in attacking me he woukd award costs in my favour also.
My legal bill was £5k . She brought a QC to the county court ! My lawyer said it was the funniest thing he’d seen in years .
Similar happened to a neighbour in Scotland- he had been a high earner for years, and on divorce had made a pretty generous formal offer. Not acceptable to his wife, she got all lawyered up and continued to pursue him for more, racking up a huge legal bill for each party. Eventually went to the top court, where the judge awarded the wife less than she had originally turned down. Because of that - she got landed with both sides of legal costs - taking care of her half of the house value.
She was less than happy.
It's the moment solicitors when solicitors get involved - or when 'friends' start whispering in one's ear... My ex and I settled without a hassle and luckily she didn't listen to 'friends'. Even without a hassle, it nearly bankrupted me. I stayed in the house and honestly, it was a too expensive for me. My savings (or what was left) went out the window in an alarming rate. At the same time, houses became more and more expensive; there was a 'boom' here during the mid-90s. Within a year after my divorce, I managed to sell the house and the profit totally covered the money I had given my ex wife. But, with the divorce settled, she was unable to get her hands on that pile of banknotes! I lived in a run-down apartment after selling the house, thinking about 'what's next?'
Then I met my (now) wife who was also living in a run-down apartment 50 kms away. We decided to do it all differently: it was the beginning of a buy-and-sell streak: buying the worst house in the best neighborhood -> bringing it back to life during the long school holidays (being a school teacher back then) -> live in it for a while -> sell it and repeat it.
In short: divorce has propelled me on the property ladder.
This ; I got the impression my ex-wife's man hating ultra lefty feminist were cajoling her , wanting her to join the "we ruined our ex-husbands in court to teach them a lesson" Club.
I was accused of "abandoning" my children as I had to work abroad to be able to pay the mortgage and take care of the household. Whilst my ex decried herself as being too busy to work what with looking after the children (who were at school all day) and meeting friends for coffee and doing the flower arranging at the church. Ironic considering her previously chosen career involved writing at home for 90% of the time. I remember asking her how someone so busy was managing to pile on the kgs at the same time and suggested she get busy down the gym.
If the situation was reversed I would have been branded a lazy slob parasite living off his overworked wife who was forced to spend time away from home and children to fund it all.
Apparently she was making huge sacrifices for the family by abandoning her career, despite having 8 hours free a day and everything she required at home to enable her to work.
Apparently I also had a Rolex "Seamaster" that her lawyers wanted to know the value of. If it existed it would have been worth millions I guess.
Obviously get a clean break agreement drawn up when you've decided on how to split the assets, you'll be glad you did.
Great advice...if you win the lottery the week after you don't have to give her a penny.
Likewise if she wins the lottery the week after you won’t have to worry about what to do with your halfGreat advice...if you win the lottery the week after you don't have to give her a penny.
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