So I’ve been on furlough for 14 weeks now and it’s driving me mad, I haven’t done anything positive, put weight on and it’s getting harder and harder to find the motivation to do things. I’m angry towards the people at work and I’m angry towards people who seem to be enjoying furlough. Today At the ripe old age of 50 I actually took a days casual work for a burger delivery company, spent 7 hours folding up boxes and did 5 deliveries, I was just glad to actually a purpose.
Is it just me?
I hate my work, so much so I’m heading back to uni full-time for 3 years at the age of 48.
I have loved being furloughed, have made a habit of getting up early for a walk with the wife. I’ve also done a lot of DIY around my home, stuff that I couldn’t afford to pay tradesmen for.
I think we all need to find something that we enjoy doing, we are only here once.
Take care...
I'm self-employed, have an office at home and am trying to keep working. The wife is working full-time, from the office at home. The youngest child has been off nursery for three months, the oldest is now back at pre-school 12 hours per week over three days. It's been relentless, we're exhausted and the thought of getting a full night's sleep or having time to ourselves (beyond a couple of hours in the evening) is some kind of crazy dream. And it turns out the in-laws, who seemed to have agreed to take the children for a week when the rules allow, are now being very cagey about even coming to stay with us for a night after the 4th July. We love our kids but it's driving us nuts!
"A man of little significance"
Definitely not just you Justin...
I’ve really struggled, and frankly I’ve had some scarily dark days....like nothing I’ve ever experienced before.
Thankfully though my lockdown has been drama free so far and my mood has lightened in the past few weeks.
Hang on in...these days will pass.
Last edited by TikTokTrev; 28th June 2020 at 23:33.
Finding a purpose in life is a major foundation in our happiness, so I sympathise with the OP wholeheartedly.
Same here been on furlough for 13 weeks
Put a bit of timber on and bored out my brain. Do have dark moments but have got through those times, just hope I have a job to go back to. We work for major eateries so hoping once there back up and running then so will we
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Take yourselves out for a longish brisk walk every day, think about those people worse off than you, and stop feeling sorry for yourselves.
This will pass, it won’t last forever, lack of bottle is your biggest enemy, only you can resolve that.
Great commentOriginally Posted by Chinnock
I feel sorry for you, if you have so little in your life to interest you. Perhaps try reading a book or looking up things that interest you on the net. There are many starving and homeless in the world, because of the virus, who would be so envious of your position.
Last edited by oldoakknives; 29th June 2020 at 00:39.
Started out with nothing. Still have most of it left.
The things going on at the moment are rather curious to say the least, affecting people and their ways of life in different ways - Imagine if you had been laid off and not furloughed...
I have my own business - the phone just stopped ringing when lockdown happened, I’ve been working every day but just adapted to the situation, moved in some different directions - but the fact I have to do something to put bread on the table is motivation. If your being paid to sit around at home - I don’t know how I would be if that was me.
Have furloughed myself for 3 months as no work coming in but I’m getting next to nothing as I’m ltd and don’t take a full regular salary as I need a big float to fund shoots and just take a lump sum when I need to pay for something.
Tbh I would love to be furloughed on 80% salary, i certainly wouldn’t moan about that.
There are people worse off though, they have lost jobs, businesses and loved ones.
Good time to take up new interests though, I’m on sourdough and podcasts at the moment
OP I feel for you. As others have said it sounds like you may have lost your purpose and without one aren't coping too well. Now might be the time to find a hobby or see what you can do in your free time. It might even be worthwhile learning online?
If your employer has an employee assistance program they are open 24/7 and only 4% of employees use it. It would be worth giving the EAP line a call if you have that option available to you.
I understand the furlough has been rough, but why punish yourself any further?
Anyway, what was it Churchill said again?
"If you're going through hell, keep going"?
Amen. Exact same situation here, both working pressured FT jobs & looking after a toddler at the same time. This has been the most unrelenting period of work I’ve ever had employment-wise. Coinciding with my line of work itself being more challenging, for non-Covid19 reasons, than it’s been for many years too. Logging-in from 5/6am daily and then switching places between desk & childcare, until midnight some nights, catching-up at weekends, for a sisyphean three months now.
Fully appreciate though that lockdown brings different challenges to everyone, including several friends at worrying risk of redundancy. I have no doubt furlough also has challenges of its own too. Mental health is a really serious aspect of this situation.
Surely you can find a hobby or something to do. As others have said, many would love to be in your situation, being paid to stay at home.
I only managed to get 4 weeks furlough before being dragged back to work. I got up early every day, took my daughter for a 6/7 mile walk every morning, did at least 1 job each day (be it clean the bathroom or paint a wall) and I absolutely loved it. If I could give up full time work tomorrow, I would in a heart beat, there is so much more to life!
As many have said , I would love to be furloughed, there is so much to be done with so little time make the most of it.
Really? "Pull yourself together"? "Stop being a wuss"? The bloke sounds like he might have depression and the nicest most positive thing you can come up with is to tell him to man up?
OP it's not just you,
Everyone is having to come to turns with very different circumstances, by taking up a part time job you're managing your coping mechanisms in a way that works for you, it's important to "not give yourself a hard time", routine is important and currently you have very little, make a day plan, including exercise and your PT job, tick things off the list, stay safe.
Last edited by number2; 29th June 2020 at 13:58.
"Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. The third time it's enemy action."
'Populism, the last refuge of a Tory scoundrel'.
What if his interests are playing golf, going to the gym, eating out, playing football, fishing, meeting friends down the pub, live music, or maybe he really likes his job? Prat.
I was working all through lockdown , (I was a train driver)...some of my jobs were shorter in turn though....thanks god)..I actually retired about 10 days ago, at age 60...best thing Ive ever done! I had been planing to retire for a good few years though.
My daughter started back to work today, after being furloughed for months.......At the beginning, she found it very hard, first, she was worried about the loss of money, I told her though, 20% off not a lot..isnt a lot anyway!...I take care of her that way, anyway...At the start, she rarely went out of the house, taking the governments advice to the letter of the law..As time went on though, she left the house a bit more...etc..
As for having a purpose in life? Mine (I know we are all different, in many many ways, and think differently). is to keep on living, look after my daughter, and helping family and friends , etc as much as I can, and to try to enjoy life as much as possible. Ive done lots of travelling in my time, seen thousands who would LOVE to live in the U.K. let alone be furloughed with pay! A few of my daughters friends were, just...laid off from work...Left to pay rent for flats etc ..I realise how lucky I am (was!) to be in decent paid work!! My lifestyle is different to yours, we all have different lifestyles............I have always been quite positive, and very much a realist.....
Keep pn keeping on as the song says...it will all be over..............................one! day! Then we can start to get on with things....remember, there is always somebody else, ( well millions probably! worse off than you!).
One of the most important life lessons I have learned throughout what has been a somewhat 'interesting' life, is that it's important not to define yourself by your job. Not that a job or career can't be fulfilling and satisfying but that is what you do and not who you are. ... Your employment can be changed by circumstances well beyond your control, as many have found during this crisis, so you need a grounding in life to fall back on beyond your employment.
Many have experienced this throughout their life prior to this crisis and learned this lesson already, for some it can be a new and distressing experience.
I'm not making light of the OP's situation here when I warn him about dealing with retirement when it comes.
R
Ignorance breeds Fear. Fear breeds Hatred. Hatred breeds Ignorance. Break the chain.
You’ve made a couple of big steps towards making things better and that’s great news. You’ve found something else to do temporarily and you’ve posted about your feelings on here so you’ve clearly recognised you need to address the issue.
There’s a story about counselling I’ll always remember:
You come across someone lying down in a ditch. There’s three ways of handling this:
Get down in the ditch with them, lie down too. “Yes it’s grim down here.”
Shout at them to pull themselves together, “what are you doing down there it’s dreadful? I’m up here and it’s lovely, pull yourself together man.”
Lastly, you can try helping them find a way out. “What can you see down there? See anything you can get hold of?”
>>
I don’t know if you have mild depression, I’m not an expert, but it sounds like you may have. The thing to remember is that unfortunately depression tends to stop you doing the very things you need to do to break out of it. If you recognise that and can find a bit of extra drive to get out and do things, that will be very helpful.
What sort of activities have you enjoyed in the past?
Last edited by catch21; 29th June 2020 at 08:02.
I thought the same.... what a total pud.
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Then he should have said so. Many people like their jobs but also have an interest in something.
And as other’s have said this might be a wake up call before retirement beckons to find something other than work to be interested in.
Nice name calling btw.
Started out with nothing. Still have most of it left.
Nothing on gods green earth would make me pull on a pair of gardening gloves and do some landscaping
Or so I thought
Boredom got me and garden about 60% done now
Just a change of focus was required
Will be back to work and bored of that too soon enough
I retired six years ago so nothing like the problems you younger guys are going through with the virus but at one time I lived to work instead of the other way round, I love retirement and i'm never bored, always little or big projects, I LOVE it.
A lot to be said for having a daily routine, whatever that may be.
https://youtu.be/3sK3wJAxGfs
I've mostly found work chafing whereas many/most other things are interesting and entertaining/more rewarding so I never really fell into the trap of needing work to give me a purpose/meaning, not to say there weren't times in my life where I've worked very hard, but it was as the means to the end of not having to work.
I can totally understand others do and in many ways we're 'conditioned' into this mindset, almost 'institutionalized' to it, makes retirement very hard for some folks, which is sad I think.
'The mind is it's own place and can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven'...You have to take control of your 'programming'.
Last edited by Passenger; 29th June 2020 at 09:58.
Justin, it's hitting a huge number of people, and not just adults. So it' snot just you. Mental health concerns were flagged some time ago around children not being at school or being able to socialise, so what you're experiencing is to be expected. That said, there's no harm in checking that this isn't just circumstantial, and chat with a GP.
One tip, would be Mindfulness. Yes I know that there's a lot of waffle around it, but it's moving into mainstream treatment, is recommended by NICE, and Oxford has a Mindfulness Centre (https://www.oxfordmindfulness.org). One of the academics has published a book which I've just started with - Mindfulness: a practical guide to Finding Peace in a Frantic World (Mark Williams and Danny Penman). Not a cure, but it may help greatly. I've had a shitty 6 months, and what I'm reading in the book so far is making sense.
Good luck. PM if you want any further info.
+1!
We have not been out other than supermarket "Click and Collects" since lockdown began and will not do so until we believe it to be safe for us.
Fortunately our house, garden and hobbies are always keeping us occupied. I do not give a second thought about my former work beyond checking my pension has hit the bank!
I feel for you OP.
I resigned just before all this started and am working out my notice. Whilst not furloughed the organisation has moved on and I have little to do.
For me, I have loads of hobbies, some of which I've been able to do. I joined a golf club for the first time since I was a junior and have been reading up and preparing for when I can get out fishing again with my son. This and the odd hour or two on the computer has helped me enormously.
There's probably something a little unhealthy on building your identity and self worth around your job, and we may both be guilty of this. Find some stuff that interests you and see if it helps. Otherwise there's some great info on this thread to help.
Morning All
Surprised reading most of these comments, i have been off for 12 weeks and i am loving it and am not returning to work until the 16th August as well
dont forget you have your retirement in the future how are you going to be then ?.
Now i will say i am on full pay and err indoors is also so we are ok financially , she is working from home making calls all day so i am finding things to do outside , luckily we have a Dog so we are out most of the morning finding places locally i never knew existed, then most afternoons i catch up on some old films/tv programmes ( have you got the Talking Pictures channel ?) go Food shopping get little bits each day
As soon as this was announced err indoors said you will love this and she is right.. i was on Garden leave from a previous job once for 6 months and it was great and it didn't involve going to the Pub everyday , you have to adapt and do different things, surely we work to retire and enjoy our time off , we have worked all our lives and paid into the system the quicker i can leave and have permanent Furlough ! i will be happy
Cheers
The first thing I would say is that the OP should be grateful that the taxpayer is paying 80% of his salary for what is an act of nature. Be bloody grateful for that alone.
I can understand being bored with having too much time on his hands so do something around the house between the hours of 10.00am - 2.00pm and get into a semi work routine.
Also how about checking up on elderly neighbours and do things for them that them cannot do such as shopping or mowing their lawn. It gives a purpose to life and that's what will keep you going and you are doing something that benefits society.
At the end of the day, it is only the OP can make the necessary changes to cheer himself up.
My wife went back to work a couple of weeks ago having been furloughed since the lockdown started.
Money was never a worry as she ended up better off on 80% with no petrol, child minder or gym fees to pay.
After doing the garden umpteen times, decorating, home schooling, the lockdown was starting to take its toll on her, what a difference going back to work has made for her.
Maybe that says something about being around me and the kids all the time and we should be looking for a new wife/ mum.
Some of the comments on this thread have been a disgrace, thankfully the majority have been positive and have given the OP some ideas on how to handle things.
OP - you can find happiness in the simplest things, and sometimes the last thing you'd expect. So my advice would be to try a new hobby; something that just perks your interest.
If it's not for you, move on to something else. It'll pass the time and when you do find something you love doing, you'll be in a much better place.
It's very easy to just do nothing, watch TV, & get unfit and feel down.
Being fit will give you more zest and wellbeing. If you've a bike get out on it, go for a ride and get the heart going, you'll feel so much better after the muscle aches have gone, ready to face another day.
Liz & I have a couple of folding bikes we can chuck in the car, drive somewhere and enjoy a ride..... it's been a great and welcome change. You can positively feel the changes in your wellbeing and mental health.
Aren't employers keeping staff up to date with the situation? They must be getting an idea of how and when things can start moving for each company again?
I feel for you if this isn't the case but it's the least an employer should be doing otherwise, as seems to be happening, employees can lose hope, which is a dangerous thing.
I'm lucky in the respect that our employer has been very hands on with weekly Q&A sessions, a weekly newsletter and monthly 'all hands' company meetings. We've been fully informed every step of the way so it must be crap being left in limbo.
I would be getting plenty of fresh air and exercise, taking day trips to quiet locations, and isn't this the perfect time to learn a new skill or hobby? I've always wanted to learn Spanish but I don't have any time to even start. Seems like a perfect oportunity if you're furloughed.
We all live in our own worlds and have our own problems and tribulations. Your comments are too near the likes of "pull yourself together" for me. Not helpful or thoughtful...
I'm not furloughed and normally work from home a couple of days a week but have recently come to realise that:
- I would absolutely HATE being furloughed
- I really miss the office, just seeing and chatting with other people
- My plan to take early retirement in about 3 years (when this big project finishes) is going to need rethinking
It doesn't help that I had quite a bad bike crash when the lockdown started to be eased so I haven't been able to get out walking/running/cycling until the last few days.
I'm not ruling out early retirement completely but I've realised that, as much as it seems attractive when I'm day-dreaming in a boring work meeting, there is no way I can retire to do nothing.
My first comment was saying I felt sorry for the OP if he had no interests. I don't claim to be a counsellor, and simply asked if perhaps reading or pursuing an interest on the internet might help. Perhaps you can give some more helpful and thoughtful advice....
Started out with nothing. Still have most of it left.
But it's your choice, to do nothing or do something, you have the freedom to choose to do something less boring than the work meeting instead.
Best of luck recovering from the bike crash.
Because you sounded so genuine …
Hopefully it wasn't paid...
The OP may have agonised for hours or even longer before sitting down and writing that post. It’s never easy to admit when you’re struggling, especially so with mental health. It sounds like he is experiencing symptoms associated with depression. Maybe he needed to hear some reassurance that others are experiencing the same thoughts and feeling, that he’s not alone. In that situation it isn’t always easy to start a conversation with family members or friends. We don’t want loved ones to worry about us. We want to project an image that we’re strong and others can turn to us in a crisis. Nobody wants to be thought of as weak or vulnerable.
If that’s the case, then imagine how crushing it must be to effectively be told to pull yourself together, count your blessings, consider yourself fortunate to be getting 80 per cent of your pay for not working, get a hobby. He’s probably tried to pull himself together, counted his blessings more times than enough and understands that others have seen a bigger reduction in income since lockdown. Hobbies are what we do in spare time. But despite all that he still feels the same way.
I’ve seen too many posts on FB mocking so-called snowflakes for not coping during lockdown when previous generations experienced world war and didn’t whine. I suspect that many are suffering in silence because of such hostility.
Shakespeare identified this state of mind so well:
In sooth, I know not why I am so sad:
It wearies me; you say it wearies you;
But how I caught it, found it, or came by it,
What stuff 'tis made of, whereof it is born,
I am to learn;
And such a want-wit sadness makes of me,
That I have much ado to know myself.
A little empathy goes a long way. Fair play to the respondents here who have picked up on the OP’s possible depression. For those who’ve been less than sympathetic, what if this was one of your loved ones? Would you trot out the same advice to him or her?
Why do you say that?
The government guidelines concerning furloughed employees states that if your employment contract allows, ‘you may undertake other employment while your current employer has placed you on furlough.’ The gov.uk website explains: ‘If your contract allows, you may undertake other employment while your current employer has placed you on furlough, and this will not affect the grant that they can claim under the scheme.
Read more: https://metro.co.uk/2020/04/25/coron...4/?ito=cbshare
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MetroUK | Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MetroUK/
Cheers..
Jase
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I'd also hope that we (as taxpayers) aren't paying for people to be furloughed only to work elsewhere.
Indeed...and unsurprisingly they were made by the usual suspects.
I was in the situation where I could choose not to be furloughed. Plenty of my colleagues were furloughed in rotation but I was happy enough to have the choice to go in to work, albeit less days as I work on a shift system and on call shifts have become a temporary feature. This allowed me to escape the familyand speak to other people. I still had plenty of free time and managed to get an awful lot of jobs done...just made a list and worked through it. Then the golf courses reopened! Since then I play 3 rounds a week (generally), still poodle around doing jobs and still go work. I can honestly say that apart from the odd day I have never been bored or listless.
OP - its very easy to sit and do nothing.....to be honest I’m fairly lazy at heart and am perfectly capable of sitting on my arse with a cup of tea and doing diddly squat. I usually find that once I have motivated myself to get moving I am quite happy doin things. Try making a list ...this gives you a target and then the satisfaction of ticking jobs off.
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