My Mum is 78 and lives alone. I don’t think the lockdown situation is helping at all, but she’s changed in the last few week.
She says she hears noises from next door, a humming sound which keeps her awake at night. This went on for a few nights and she started to get ratty with the neighbour, a single fella who lives next door.
I live 200 miles away from her, so I tried to troubleshoot over the phone to no avail. She’s out of the blue fixated with the fact that it’s the shared aerial causing the problem with no rationality.
Luckily my brother lives closer so popped up and stayed with her a couple of nights. No noises could be heard and then as soon as he popped out to the shops and came back she said the noise kicked off again. Coincidence? Doesn’t seem likely.
Then the next week he went back again and she said she could hear a humming noise from next door, whereas he can hear nothing and told her so. Apart from this she is fine.
So, there’s two thoughts hear. Most likely it feels like some sort of delusional symptom associated with very early stage dementia. But, keeping open the option that it she may be sensitive to some sort of low frequency noise in the house of from machinery in the distance. The <HUM> is a well known problem in some people and even has its own wiki page, but fear it is the former.
Anyone else gone through this with an elderly relative, but also advise what to do next as my brother and I are a bit lost.
Mum had Alzheimer's and FIL full on dementia, neither displayed the symptoms you describe, sounds a bit like tinnitus though I'm far from being an expert.
It's accepted that ''lockdown'' is going to cause a huge wave of mental health issues due to isolation, sure someone will be along to add to this, good luck.
"Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. The third time it's enemy action."
'Populism, the last refuge of a Tory scoundrel'.
Basically it needs proper testing and evaluation because if you need Power of attorney it is easier to do now that later (we made that mistake with my mum).Originally Posted by noTAGlove
I think you need to speak to her doctor, you need to find out for certain.
Started out with nothing. Still have most of it left.
Second this ^^ .
"Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. The third time it's enemy action."
'Populism, the last refuge of a Tory scoundrel'.
I don’t know at all but I would hope that this is a temporary effect caused by lockdown, if as you’ve said it’s come on in the last few weeks. This current situation is doing damage to some/most/all of us in some way. Some will be mild effects but for others more serious. It’s just a bizarre and unnatural scenario that this virus has caused. Hopefully things are improving and normality will reappear and your mum will start getting back to herself.
I do wonder if this has made us all a bit more paranoid? I feel like that some days. I quite often have that sick feeling in my stomach that I used to have as a child if say I’d been in trouble at school. I went to the beach yesterday and it’s the first time I felt like I did before all this started.
Sadly, they will not discuss anything unless the patient wishes them to do so.
When you look long into an abyss, the abyss looks long into you.........
While my mum didn't complain of stuff like that it was apparent that she'd say stuff so me or my Mrs would go round. Loneliness in her case.
She did become very forgetful towards the the end but the tests revealed only "clouds" in the brain. Small blood vessels slowly dying off. Fully expected of someone nearing 80 years old.
In short, take her to the doctor who'll refer her for some tests.
All the best.
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I had my mum sign a document so I could speak freely with her doctor. Never thought in a million years she'd do it but she did.Sent from my Pixel 3 using TZ-UK mobile app
Absolute this.Her Doctor can do some tests and things will be clearer.
Absolutely the same as we experienced with Marge, our poor next-door-neighbour, who was eventually diagnosed with dementia.
But that is not a diagnosis. As others say, your mum needs expert attention asap. If poor Marge's family had intervened earlier instead of steadfast denial she could have had several more happy years.
My mother started this way, telling us the neighbours were harassing her. Then she started banging on their front door in the middle of the night swearing and shouting.
The neighbours were petrified and called the police on several occasions who did nothing. My mum passed the dementia tests done by the GP so we we’re getting g very worried until her GP called me to tell me that my Mum was in the Surgery demanding to see the GP now and having a tantrum when reception said no.
Finally she had another test and as a result was sectioned. Once in the hospital they diagnosed her with both vascular dementia and Alzheimer’s and she was moved into a home. Where she lasted 2 hrs.
This change in personality was so gradual that everyone missed it, including her GP.
You have spotted a change so please don’t write it off, get a diagnosis before it’s too late.
Last edited by robcuk; 21st May 2020 at 13:28.
If your brother is closer then see if he can arrange to visit the GP with her. If she won’t go then it should still be possible to pass on your concerns to them
As a family I’m sure this is a stressful time for everyone but the GP should be able to take a history and refer for further tests if required.
My aunt , went through a very similar situation to the OP. Claiming the people upstairs above her flat were playing loud music. The council installed noise recording equipment, unfortunately there was nothing recorded.
She ultimately moved out and within 3/4 years she was confirmed as suffering from Altseimers . Non of us saw it at first, it was only as she deteriorated we realised. So as has been said above get help and advice.
We were told loss of hearing due to ears blocked with wax can give the humming, must be mild torture not sleeping?
My mothers deterioration from Alzheimer and vascular dementia was sudden and quick. Started early last year when she was 91. Referred by doctor to Cambridge Memory clinic who did the formal diagnosis. Previously lived on her own, now in an excellent care home in Banbury. She does not know what is going on, does not know me, and does not know that I have not been allowed to visit her.
- - - Updated - - -
My mothers deterioration from Alzheimer and vascular dementia was sudden and quick. Started early last year when she was 91. Referred by doctor to Cambridge Memory clinic who did the formal diagnosis. Previously lived on her own, now in an excellent care home in Banbury. She does not know what is going on, does not know me, and does not know that I have not been allowed to visit her.
Min really sorry to read this.
I would suggest a Dr check her hearing out. I have suffered from tinnitus for maybe 4 years and it's a swine! It can range from a super high pitched noise to a humming as you describe.
I had a few tests inc a scan to rule out a tumour pressing on my ear drum but they said it's harmless and now my brain switches it off 90% of the time.
It's a shitty thing to have but sooner that than the alternatives.
Hi, and sorry to hear about your Mum, I know how hard it is when you've a parent with dementia.
Having listened to your story, given how you describe the fairly quick onset of adjusted behaviour, it would well be worth, assuming your brother can get your Mum to her GP, asking them to rule out a UTI. These, especially in the elderly can cause the onset of sudden erratic behaviour.
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Last edited by thechatteringclasses; 20th May 2020 at 08:51.
My mother in law had a problem like this kept hearing noises from the attic like running water kept getting family to come and listen nobody ever heard anything we looked in the attic as well, she died a few years later but never suffered with dementia
I don't have the energy to relate everything, but here's a summary of my situation:
M&D in 80's, D had lung cancer and going downhill fast. I'm 175 miles away, no siblings. In the middle of lockdown had to move heaven and earth to get M&D into a care home. All focus on D, moved them away from everything they knew into care home. D lasted 12 days, funeral with 5 people last Thursday as all friends vulnerable. No wake. Mum not allowed to attend! No hotels open, social worker lent us chalet. M&D had both been hearing strange noises at nights and getting snarky with neighbours...
Anyway, all of the stuff above covered above masked my Mum's slow slide into dementia which has started to accelerate. She now cannot leave the care home and I cant help thinking that if I'd have caught it earlier then she may have had more independent time.
I'd kindly suggest that your Mum be checked over, and not one of those so-called memory tests which are designed to be virtually 'un-failable'.
At least the roads have been quiet.
If your mother is agreeable Power of attorney is a good way forward.
Can’t stress this enough (power of attorney)
FIL had dementia before he died and MIL now starting that journey I fear - she’s 90
I'll second the wisdom of putting Powers of Attorney in place as soon as possible. You don't need to use them, but it's far easier for all concerned if you set them up while the donor(s) are of reasonably sound mind, rather than get to the stage where you have to apply via a court.
Although no trees were harmed during the creation of this post, a large number of electrons were greatly inconvenienced.
POA is a must
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Sorry to hear. Memory loss appears to be a common sign of dementia in the early stages. My mother-in-law would frequently ask the same question a couple of times over the space of a few minutes.
All good advice above. Get to doc, it may be simply cabin fever or tinnitus or something beside dementia. My mother had dementia and father in law also has it. Dementia is a very gradual process (in my experience) and generally seems to incur memory loss of short term memory and progressing to the state where patient has difficulty even remembering close relatives. I sincerely hope that it it not dementia.
Also, as above try to get Power of Attorney in place for both financial and care (two separate things). If dementia is involved these will come on handy at some point.
My father died a couple of months ago (from Covid) but he had dementia for the last 5 years and we were heading toward the end game
With regard to your mother, firstly to reiterate what every one else has said get the POA for both financial and health and well being in place as soon as you can.
They are so important, my Dad could not have stayed at home and had the quality of life that he had without them.
Has your mother had a proper diagnoses? if so apply for Attendance allowance as soon as you can, this is not means tested and will help pay for carers or meals etc that she may need.
Once a diagnoses has been done a social care assessment would be a good thing to do, it puts your Mum on the radar and will help with future decisions.
Whether your Mum has had a diagnoses or not I had no problem in talking to the family doctor, at no time did he refuse to speak to me about my father's welfare.
We had some very hard calls to make, like taking his car away when he got to be a danger to himself and every other road user.
On a day to day basis I found life got a lot easier when I accepted that the only way to keep a good relationship with my Dad was to be in his world, no matter what your Mum says or how irrational it is doesn't matter, there is no point in trying to correct her, it is all very real in her world.
This is a great video which helped me a lot
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQ9uSR22qkI
There is a major parent child relationship reversal which can be quite difficult, I really wish you well, there is a lot of information out there but i am more than happy to help, please post on here or PM.
I really wish you all the best, amongst all the difficulties and confusion you will also have moments that make you laugh and things that bring you closer together.
My mother is in a home due to Dementia and I have total power of attorney, when we did the lawyer suggested my wife and I consider it for ourselves, unless everything you do is in joint names/authority something simple like a trip and the resulting injury could cause problems with banks etc.
OP, get mum to the doctor, it could well be a UTI or blood pressure causing tinnitus but it could be worse, better safe than sorry.
My Mum has now had a battery of blood tests and been diagnosed with poor kidney function, a UTI and severe B12 deficiency. Symptoms of these can be very similar to dementia, i.e. delusion, paranoia, tinnitus etc.
She still going through tests, and whereas we can’t rule out a chronic mental health issue, it seems more than a coincidence that her blood tests are revealing underlying health conditions that are known to cause mental instability.
I’d have never guessed that it could be conventional health issues causing the mental health issues, and some good advice here regarding the need to get blood tests done, check for a UTI etc. I thought she was just going a bit doolally.
The NHS have been great and really accelerated her testing, which is needed as the delusions are getting worse, and she was in the garden at 3am complaining of foul smells in the house pumped in by the next door neighbour.
She starts treatment this week and hope this changes the tide.
Last edited by noTAGlove; 15th June 2020 at 10:12.
Good to read that there's a possible explanation for her behaviour, other than dementia. And a good call from the NHS staff to investigate all and not to go the trodden path of 'it must by dementia'.
I think that your information is very useful to a lot of people her and I hope you'll share what happens in the future!
M.
It is quite amazing, but yes, apparently a simple urinary tract infection can cause sometimes quite severe dementia like symptoms. Hope it is something like this, it often is, there is every reason to be optimistic. My best wishes to you and your mum.
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I think its a good possibility that the UTI may be causing the symptoms, my father in law is prone to them and his wife always knows when it happens as he goes a bit odd and 'doolally', antibiotics work quickly and he's back to normal. ( usual caveats, Im not a doctor etc)
Good luck and hope things improve.
Cheers..
Jase
How's her walking been ?
My mum had hearling loss, incontinence creeping on and signs of dementia - she was diagnosed with NPH (normal pressure hydrocephaly which can have the same symptoms)
treatment is installing a shunt to drain the fluid - this works better on younger people though
for my mum it improved her walking somewhat but she is in her 70s and she forgets a lot of things and has zero short term memory now - the damage has been permanent sometimes its not and the shunt can improve the memory and incontinence too
losing my dad to cancer half way through her treatment didnt help wither and living on her own now I realise how much of her was on autopilot caring for my dad.
So, my Mum is back to normal now. Cause was significant vitamin B12 deficiency rectified by a course of injections.
Who have thought lack of a simple vitamin caused her to crazy.
That's really brilliant to hear, glad your Mum not only found that out, butback to normal!!
Probably needless to say, but worth thinking why she was so low in B12, as it's fairly common in foods (at least animal foods).
One thing is that PPIs severely inhibit B12 absorption, so something like that could be a factor if she was on a PPI. But generally would be best to fix the root cause rather than needing periodic injections.
But anyway great to hear!
An excellent outcome and a relief for everyone
What a relief. Glad to hear she's back to normal and it wasn't anything serious.
Although brilliant news Mate, please keep an eye on her , my father had exactly the same thing hearing voices, next door having parties every night, he even got the council to install their listening monitor to take readings of course no incidents recorded !, then it all stopped but Two years later it started again same things and he was talking to people in the House who were sitting on his sofa !, he ended up being diagnosed with lewy bodies dementia , this is the type with hallucinations and for some reason he always thought he was in an Airport waiting lounge while he was having an episode, its a very strange disease the day after the Airport incident he was up and ready for me to take him for his weekly shop like nothing had happened !
Although it sounds cruel he passed away in April before it got really bad and we didn't have to put him into a home so it turned out for the best IMHO and he never really suffered in the long term , you can have cognitive Dementia tests to determine if she has any Dementia ( wish we had done this sooner), but like everyone else glad you got your old Mum Back
Cheers
Last edited by arthurDALEY; 18th July 2020 at 15:36.
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