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Thread: Covid19 funnies

  1. #101
    Grand Master Saint-Just's Avatar
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    'Against stupidity, the gods themselves struggle in vain' - Schiller.

  2. #102
    Grand Master number2's Avatar
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    "Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. The third time it's enemy action."

  3. #103
    Grand Master Saint-Just's Avatar
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    'Against stupidity, the gods themselves struggle in vain' - Schiller.

  4. #104
    Craftsman canuck's Avatar
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    One of our local ish musicians JP Cormier. If you want to see his typical fare just search him on YouTube . Until then...

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JulJVZwZ510%F0%9F%98%92

  5. #105
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    Given the youngest member of the clan is due to make an entrance on Saturday I thought this one is very apt




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  6. #106
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    Also thought you all may like this




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  7. #107
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    5 people in a plane that is about to crash, but there are only 4 parachutes. The passengers are Donald Trump, Boris Johnson, The Pope, Angela Merkel and a 10 year old school boy. Trump says: "I'm the smartest guy in America. Only I can save America from coronavirus." He grabs one and jumps.
    Johnson says: "I'm needed to save the UK from the virus." He grabs one and jumps.
    The Pope says: "In this time of great strife, the Catholic Church needs a leader." He grabs one and jumps.
    Angela Merkel says to the boy: "I've lived my life, you have the last one as you have your whole life ahead of you."
    "It's ok." Says the boy: "There are 2 parachutes left, the smartest guy in America took my school bag."

  8. #108
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    Is this the future . . .

    https://youtu.be/RVABcl5qPA0

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  9. #109



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  10. #110
    Master thegoat's Avatar
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  11. #111

  12. #112
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    When this is all over and you had to chose between

    Taking your wife out for a posh meal

    Or

    Meeting all your mates for a p*ss up at the boozer

    Which pub would you choose?

  13. #113
    Journeyman SydR's Avatar
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    Where’s Wally socially distancing


  14. #114
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    I'm very happy to say that I haven't yet lost my sense of humour.

    This evening I looked out of a bedroom window and saw my wife pegging out the washing whilst in her pyjamas.

    I couldn't resist opening the window and giving her a clap.

    It made her smile which is good news when cocooned with someone 24/7.

    scooter

  15. #115
    Quote Originally Posted by scooter View Post
    I'm very happy to say that I haven't yet lost my sense of humour.

    This evening I looked out of a bedroom window and saw my wife pegging out the washing whilst in her pyjamas.

    I couldn't resist opening the window and giving her a clap.

    It made her smile which is good news when cocooned with someone 24/7.

    scooter
    This post reminded me of this. Not Coronavirus related but funny.




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  16. #116
    Grand Master mart broad's Avatar
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    Word of warning do not get Covid-19 just heard that the Chinese are about to release Covid-20
    I FEEL LIKE I'M DIAGONALLY PARKED IN A PARALLEL UNIVERSE

  17. #117
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    It is with great sadness that I have to write about the loss of a number of local businesses due to Covid-19.

    Our local Bra manufacturer has gone bust, a firm that makes parts for submarines has gone under, a maker of food blenders has gone into liquidation, a local dog kennel has had to call in the retrievers, a company supplying paper to Origami enthusiasts has folded, the local glue factory has also come unstuck and, worst of all, our local butchers has got the chop!

    I suspect there will be more....
    Best Regards - Peter

    I hate being bipolar, its brilliant.

  18. #118
    Master arthurDALEY's Avatar
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  19. #119
    Very sensible cat, apparently they can catch it.

  20. #120
    Master Caruso's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TBKBABAB View Post
    Very sensible cat, apparently they can catch it.
    Whereas according to the World Health Organisation dogs can't catch it, so all dogs in quarantine have been released...yes, WHO let the dogs out!

    - - - Updated - - -

    Also, I just heard that there will be a round of applause for our courier and delivery drivers. It will be sometime between 6am and 11pm tomorrow.

  21. #121
    Excellent.

    I may not be able to make it, but I’ll leave a card.


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  22. #122
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    So many funnies but here are a couple of my favourites:

  23. #123
    Grand Master number2's Avatar
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    Right you lot!
    "Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. The third time it's enemy action."

  24. #124
    Master arthurDALEY's Avatar
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  25. #125
    Grand Master Raffe's Avatar
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  26. #126
    Master TKH's Avatar
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    I snapshotted this excellent article before it was corrected


  27. #127
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    Genuine, could be construed as a funny.



    Says the man on £1.75 mill a year.....


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  28. #128
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    Last edited by Wolfie; 5th April 2020 at 17:02.

  29. #129
    Master
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    Made me chuckle.

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  30. #130
    Quote Originally Posted by deanlad View Post
    Genuine, could be construed as a funny.



    Says the man on £1.75 mill a year.....


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    He was on the radio yesterday - he is keeping his salary so the govt receives his taxes, he then considered using his net pay to provide PPE to the NHS but decided the problem there is logistics rather than finance so is donating his net pay to the British Red Cross.

  31. #131
    Quote Originally Posted by MB2 View Post
    He was on the radio yesterday - he is keeping his salary so the govt receives his taxes, he then considered using his net pay to provide PPE to the NHS but decided the problem there is logistics rather than finance so is donating his net pay to the British Red Cross.
    Excellent plan, well done him!

  32. #132
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  33. #133
    Grand Master Saint-Just's Avatar
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    'Against stupidity, the gods themselves struggle in vain' - Schiller.

  34. #134
    Quote Originally Posted by Kingstepper View Post
    Excellent plan, well done him!
    No doubt he and his fellow premiership mates will have top line accounts to make sure they pay as little tax as possible,
    me and you probably pay more tax then them.

  35. #135
    Quote Originally Posted by Jega View Post
    No doubt he and his fellow premiership mates will have top line accounts to make sure they pay as little tax as possible,
    me and you probably pay more tax then them.
    Plenty on here will be doing that too.

  36. #136
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    As a football/sports pundit, shouldn’t he be out of work by now, read Rooney’s comments yesterday, surely overpaid star footballers reducing their wages would allow clubs to pay other staff instead of laying them off and the government would still Get the same tax but reduce the outgoings by not having to pay the 80% to those not seen by clubs as important?

  37. #137
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    'Against stupidity, the gods themselves struggle in vain' - Schiller.

  38. #138
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    Two more that made me laugh :



  39. #139
    Grand Master Saint-Just's Avatar
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    'Against stupidity, the gods themselves struggle in vain' - Schiller.

  40. #140
    Grand Master Saint-Just's Avatar
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    'Against stupidity, the gods themselves struggle in vain' - Schiller.

  41. #141
    Master
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  42. #142
    Master Wolfie's Avatar
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  43. #143
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  44. #144
    Grand Master Saint-Just's Avatar
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    'Against stupidity, the gods themselves struggle in vain' - Schiller.

  45. #145
    Master ed335d's Avatar
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  46. #146
    Grand Master hogthrob's Avatar
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    PPE

    At my local Tesco, yesterday lunch time


  47. #147
    Journeyman SteveM112's Avatar
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  48. #148
    Grand Master Saint-Just's Avatar
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    'Against stupidity, the gods themselves struggle in vain' - Schiller.

  49. #149
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  50. #150
    Grand Master
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    Excellent.

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