Reply With QuoteI saw plenty earlier. PM for details.
(for the avoidance of doubt, I'm not being serious)
Couple of packs of Izal in the Tesco Metro on Stockport Road.
I saw plenty earlier. PM for details.
(for the avoidance of doubt, I'm not being serious)
In the Sotadic Zone, apparently.
You can't get bog roll for love nor money round here so I've done the next best thing and panic bought a year's supply of immodium.
Maybe time to revisit the Roman past with a sponge on a stick?
...or maybe a second life for the old wheel cleaning brush?
I got the call today from my local supermarket, apparently I'm now top of the list for some bog rolls, but I completely spent up on hand sanitizer last week so if anyone wants my place in the queue get in touch.
I cannot name the Supermarket because it's a state secret
Every toilet in our house has one of these attached. Might have to learn how to use them now!
My AD has me at the top of their list but that’s only because I have spent thousands on other items first!
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Toilet roll update - Just back from Tesco, loads of toilet rolls, no food but toilet rolls in abundance.
Originally Posted by wileeeeeey
Every toilet in our house has one of these attached. Might have to learn how to use them now!
I think you are going to have to relax quite a bit before inserting that...
So clever my foot fell off.
All is still in stock here in Holland: food, handsoap, toilet rolls. No hysterical buyers raiding the aisles. Business as usual.
The good news being there’ll be no need to wipe your arse if you cannot eat.
Not another toilet Rollex shortage thread.
You don't need toilet paper. As a Boy Scout we learned that all you needed was a bus ticket.
Method....
Fold bus ticket in half.
Fold in half again in the opposite direction.
Now tear off the corner where there is no lose edge.
Next, and this stage is VITALLY IMPORTANT, grip the corner you've ripped off between your teeth. DO NOT OMIT THIS STAGE!
Now unfold the bus ticket and you'll find it has a hole in the middle.
Insert the middle finger of your left hand through this hole.
Push middle finger completely up your anus and rotate back and forth to wipe anus.
Remove finger from anus.
With your right hand, slowly pull down the bus ticket to clean your finger.
I hope you didn't forget to grip that corner you ripped off between your teeth.......
Take this corner from your teeth with your right hand and use it to scrape the shit from under your left middle finger nail.
Sorted.
Best Regards - Peter
I'd hate to be with you when you're on your own.
I've been offered a 9 pack of Andrex but will need to buy 100 bottles of bleach with it. PM me if you are interested.
NEWS FLASH : Thief`s broke into several bog roll warehouses overnight to corner the market of this now highly demanded item.
Did they make a clean getaway?
Police will think it was a flash in the pan.
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Last edited by notenoughwrists; 9th March 2020 at 13:58.
PSA - there are a couple of tidy looking bidets for sale in SC at the moment. Would sort your TP shortage right out.
More Eco too. ;)
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Ordered from fb market . 5 packs of 36 rolls for £20 and home delivered 😂
Read it and wipe.
Started out with nothing. Still have most of it left.
I'm good mates with the manager of the local AD, I've bunged him a few quid over the years, he says I can have as many as I want, at retail!
It seems even secondhand rolls are hard to get hold of....
Apparently there's some stuck on Uranus.
Is that for use in lieu of big roll?
Same here. Certainly wakes you up in the morning.
Ferry and van booked. Thanks for the heads up!
Apparently police have got nothing to go on...
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I've bought the family one of these:
Clean as a whistle
I managed to buy a pack of four but the AD insisted in keeping the cardboard tube and will give it to me in 12 months time. They also took the wrapping off in front of me before I left.
I've seen rolls (white gold version) advertised on the back of the Economist and National Geographic. So yes, they're still out there - one must try harder to find them.
I live in Hull, we have ferries, we are coming for your loo rolls.....
ktmog6uk
marchingontogether!
This is our Tesco’s half an hour ago
Bonkers what are they going to use it all for?
Went into Sainsbury’s this morning, all the Andrex was gone - every roll. But there were shelves full of their own brand, weirdos
Genuinely blows my mind how adults can react like this, bunch of braindead sheep.
I am lucky, my ex neighbour was a wholesaler and I bought about 5 years stock off him a couple of years ago.
Time to sell, bit profits to be had there
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Who needs loo rolls or tissues anyway? No runs, no drips no way!
https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Assorted-...0AAOSwZqZaH8RP
The cleanliness of my rectum comes before vulgar profit.
I have to admit that made me chuckle Mick!
Not sure how you get the paper into your rectum without tearing it?
+1
Mick, if you get to your rectum you've gone too far. Also, if you get that far up I hope you're wearing gloves.
Rectum? Damn near killed him.
TZUK does it again... I sold these at the price I paid on the forum then this happens:
I'm now no longer able to buy Charmin from Waitrose. Only own-brand toilet tissue.
Hahahaha
Fantastic... I'm on the list for the next delivery, apparently, I have a good relationship with my supermarket. :-)
Apparently the supermarkets local to me are offering free condoms to every customer bulk buying bog roll.
The theory is that it'll stop them breeding.
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