Teenagers!!!!

[RobDad]

We’ve got 2 boys, 18 and 16 but more complicated. The eldest just started at university - over the last few years he’s been moody, difficult, stroppy, impossible to get out of bed and falling in and out with his mates all the time. Has had more girlfriends than I’ve had hot dinners, and his mum and I can’t understand what they see in him! He was infuriatingly lazy through school but got great results all the way through with what looked like zero effort, and as a result he’s very confident - and we can’t complain, he’s had plenty of jobs and is keen to pay his way through university. Our youngest on the other hand has Down’s and is mildly autistic, full of mischief and spends almost his whole time smiling and chuckling, still wears a nappy at night and we have to watch him like a hawk, 24/7 as he has absolutely no sense of fear or danger. He might be 16 but more like 3-4 in reality - and I know the next few years will be tough. He still has the hormonal teenage moods, then he wants to watch CBeebies and cuddle his dad on the sofa! - so they are both very different, and our youngest has really struggled with his brother disappearing to Uni - thank god for FaceTime!
I sympathise with the op and others - at times I really struggled to ‘like’ my eldest recently, but he’s treading his own path and I’m proud of him, and proud that those who warned we’d be a ‘disabled family’ were completely wrong. I’m amazed to say our youngest chap in some ways is a lot easier than a ‘normal’ teenager - although my current mission is to try and teach him to stop getting his willy out randomly in front of strangers, which he thinks is hilarious, but mortifies his mum and everyone else - that plus a fixation on ‘boobies’ certainly makes a trip into town a bit eventful, but I’m sure we’ll get there in the end. I find a sense of humour a great help!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[mrsammyp]

We’ve got 2 boys, 18 and 16 but more complicated. The eldest just started at university - over the last few years he’s been moody, difficult, stroppy, impossible to get out of bed and falling in and out with his mates all the time. Has had more girlfriends than I’ve had hot dinners, and his mum and I can’t understand what they see in him! He was infuriatingly lazy through school but got great results all the way through with what looked like zero effort, and as a result he’s very confident - and we can’t complain, he’s had plenty of jobs and is keen to pay his way through university. Our youngest on the other hand has Down’s and is mildly autistic, full of mischief and spends almost his whole time smiling and chuckling, still wears a nappy at night and we have to watch him like a hawk, 24/7 as he has absolutely no sense of fear or danger. He might be 16 but more like 3-4 in reality - and I know the next few years will be tough. He still has the hormonal teenage moods, then he wants to watch CBeebies and cuddle his dad on the sofa! - so they are both very different, and our youngest has really struggled with his brother disappearing to Uni - thank god for FaceTime!
I sympathise with the op and others - at times I really struggled to ‘like’ my eldest recently, but he’s treading his own path and I’m proud of him, and proud that those who warned we’d be a ‘disabled family’ were completely wrong. I’m amazed to say our youngest chap in some ways is a lot easier than a ‘normal’ teenager - although my current mission is to try and teach him to stop getting his willy out randomly in front of strangers, which he thinks is hilarious, but mortifies his mum and everyone else - that plus a fixation on ‘boobies’ certainly makes a trip into town a bit eventful, but I’m sure we’ll get there in the end. I find a sense of humour a great help!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

This made me smile; sometimes we think life has dealt us a difficult hand until we hear other people’s journey. Keep up the good work, sounds like you’re doing a terrific job! 🙂

[TheFlyingBanana]

My mother in law, who fostered forty kids and raised three of her own, has some wise words; "If they are alright before they go into the teenage years they'll come out alright the other side of them."

I think there is a lot in this.

[thieuster]

My mother in law, who fostered forty kids and raised three of her own, has some wise words; "If they are alright before they go into the teenage years they'll come out alright the other side of them."

I think there is a lot in this.

Nice thought, wise and very true. Apart from that: fostering 40 kids over the years is worth a knighthood or similar!!

Menno

[P9CLY]

It's something you'll have to get used to and will last a few more years yet!.Its just so un-cool to be around parents at anytime at this age,more so if seen out in a public area!,you will fast become invisible if any of his mates are around!.
The only time you will be allowed into their world is when they need something,any affection towards you will fade very fast until the next time their skint or need something!!.

Its all good fun ahead.

[Slamdoor]

Teaching teens isn’t a doddle either. These days essential tools should be a taser and a cattle prod for close - in confrontation!
Only joking

[magpie215]

Teaching teens isn’t a doddle either. These days essential tools should be a taser and a cattle prod for close - in confrontation!
Only joking

.....ironic forum name

[smokey99]

We’ve got 2 boys, 18 and 16 but more complicated. Etc etc
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Thanks for the honest response which is remarkably similar to ours.

The 16 year old is a generally straight A student at a Grammar school but makes minimum effort to improve. Teachers seem to really like him and he's slim, blonde haired and blue eyed so no issues with the ladies either.

The youngest now 13, is diagnosed in the Autistic Spectrum but I'd say relatively mild on that spectrum. More behavioural than educational but a real handful when he wants to be.

But very sweet in his own way and the only one who's good around the house, good with dogs and happy to cook.

Also willing to okay golf with me so that a big pat on the back from me.

Life could be a lot worse and I love that earlier quote about coming out Ok the other side. Bang on.

Happy Birthday Son.

Sent from my CLT-L09 using Tapatalk

[Neil.C]

Teaching teens isn’t a doddle either. These days essential tools should be a taser and a cattle prod for close - in confrontation!
Only joking

Only joking?

I had a full on fist fight with my eldest (didn't help I was in a strop anyway), and a serious wrestle with my middle son which ended up with him in the dog's basket.

Youngest got away with it.

You do come out the other end though and we couldn't be closer now.

[mrushton]

Strangely there never seems to be issues when money/gifts etc are being handed out.

[thieuster]

Teaching teens isn’t a doddle either. These days essential tools should be a taser and a cattle prod for close - in confrontation!
Only joking

From experience, I can tell you that it’s easier than having to deal with a stubborn son. Must say that my colleagues say the same, including the younger ones with kids entering the teenage phase.

[tixntox]

They change for the better when they need you to babysit!!!!

I commented to my lad "It's not easy being a dad, is it?" He just looked up and said "Sorry dad!" He's nearly 40 by the way!!! :)

[Templogin]

My partner has her teenage son living with her. It’s one of the reasons why I don’t move in. He’s 27 by the way. Not a typo! Only worked part time until he was 26, after jacking in uni a month before the end. My advice is sort it out now.

Neil C seems to speak the most sense on this topic.

[awright101]

It's something you'll have to get used to and will last a few more years yet!.Its just so un-cool to be around parents at anytime at this age,more so if seen out in a public area!,you will fast become invisible if any of his mates are around!.
The only time you will be allowed into their world is when they need something,any affection towards you will fade very fast until the next time their skint or need something!!.

Its all good fun ahead.

Very true