Originally Posted by
smokey99
I know it's not that unusual but with my eldest turning 16 on Friday, I'm starting to spend more and more time thinking.......I'm not sure I like this person in front of me?
It's the usual mix of teenage arrogance and indifference but I'm sure I didn't go that far with my Mum when I was that age.
I expect it is true that you did not go as far as is now. As to why, it strikes me that the world has changed. That's a self-evident statement but the specific changes are important: Teenagers of today have far more access to the (adult) world in general. They can be and are a part of it as never before. This is due in large part to the Internet and social media but also general cultural (including portrayal of teenagers in popular media, mainly tv) and economic changes over time. It is thus natural that teenagers should want more independence at a younger age and be more assertive in getting it.
Conversely, at the very same time, it is harder than ever before for teenagers to take a practical, real world part in this world they see before them. Despite having images and concepts of independence thrust upon them by pervasive culture, they have virtually no capacity to earn enough money to really take part, other than the bank of mum and dad.
This conflict between what is desirable and what is possible creates frustration, which enhances the natural frustrations of teenage years.
There is also the more recent issue (and this affects both boys and girls, even though I think it is more noticeable with girls) is that of peer pressure and/or role model pressures through social media. This puts an epic amount of pressure of teenagers to live up to how they see other people looking, acting or living. It can be a matter of looks/beauty/body shape but also financial success, social success, and crowd approbation. The problem of course is that most teenagers simply cannot live up to these ideals (and they probably never will!): This in particular create massive frustration and anger.
** edit **
£150 trainers are an example of what I try to describe in the paragraph above.
Originally Posted by
smokey99
He doesn't even want to go out with us for his birthday and is trying to wriggle out of it and go out with his mates instead.
He's 16. Old enough to legally have sex and get married. It should not be overly surprising (even without the modern world's problems I list above) that he'd rather go out with his mates on such an important occasion!
As a compromise, could he go out with his mates on his birthday and then you can all have a private family dinner soon afterwards. That way you all get what you want.