I'm not looking to get into the gritty detail here as there is already plenty of gritty detail being shared elsewhere. I'm more interested in getting a feel for numbers. If there are few active members running the gauntlet of the family court system, that would be a positive. If, however, there is a large number, it would suggest that the feedback I've received is skewed. Apparently having to go through the family court system is quite rare and it is also apparently not prejudiced against fathers. A year and a half into my battle suggests otherwise.
The Family Court deals with a wide range of issues that covers both private and public law cases. What type of statistics are you looking for? Private law are family disputes separation and child contact disputes usually between separating parents. Public law is care proceedings and safeguarding issues that lead to care proceedings, assessments, adoption, etc. The issues that are dealt with by definition involve families and are therefore very emotive and can cause huge frustration.
I forgot to add. It’s not rare that people end up in the family courts in private law cases. Usually when disputes cannot be settled away from the courts and mediation hasn’t worked.
In my case it's private law relating to contact with my children after separating and having attempted mediation.
It’s easy whatever you wife wants she will get, you are a man so you are lower than the family pet, prepare to get royaly shafted this is the UK legal system. And if you are really unlucky you will get the whole bill as well.
And if by some miracle you did get some rights or a judgment she can still do what she wants because no bugger will enforce them.
The children’s wishes don’t come into this.
Before you spend fortunes on legal fees establish how long the judgment will last, in my case it was less than the length of the case, also the CMS(csa) can overrule any financial judgment after a year and one day, which makes the whole thing a farce.
Last edited by adrianw; 27th September 2019 at 09:46.
It’s very easy to feel despondent and that the court system is biased towards one parent (usually the mother). The reality is that following separation children mainly stay living with the mother and fathers often feel powerless. They aren’t..... However, there are a few groups that campaign and would have us believe that fathers never get the contact that they want, all fathers are hard done to and every father ends up being financially hit and ends up paying for the legal proceedings as well as children that they never see. That wasn’t my experience (personal), and that is not what I see on a professional basis. I have personal experience of some of those groups - being filmed, threatened, having car and office locks glued, fake bombs sent to our office, personal details about family members sent to me to let me know they can get to me if they want. Some female members of the team had the same and were threatened with rape. That was all a few years ago now and was par for the course when I worked in that field. You will also hear a lot that the children’s wishes are never taken into account by the court. I have worked with lots of children who would tell you they weren’t listened to by their parents and were put in a very difficult situation by them, often for years. It’s a complex area and every party has a different perception.Originally Posted by jmarchitect
If mediation hasn’t worked (and sometimes it doesn’t and is nobody’s fault), there should be a FCA from CAFCASS involved. Attend every meeting and hearing. Attend every contact with your child / children and make it fun. Focus on the needs of your children no matter how angry, frustrated or low you are feeling about your ex-partner. Never discuss adult issues with them or try to get information from them. Get a good solicitor that is experienced in private law disputes. Not just a solicitor that deals with family law. Some are jack of all trades and masters of none. Keep paying towards your children. Work towards a good outcome for your children and you. It’s not a fight. When people see things as a fight (mothers or fathers) that is when it usually ends up in court.
There are many, many fathers that have gone through the family courts and had satisfactory outcomes. There are many mothers who have not complied with contact orders and have been pulled back to court, some have received custodial sentences as a result. The courts do enforce orders for both parents.
I have been where you are. Stay with it and I hope it all works out.
Thank you for your balanced answer Bluemoon7. I'm six hearings in and at Tier 3 and the golden thread running through my approach is to be child focused and not combative. It's good to hear of positive examples.
Your experience matches that of friends of mine adrianw and not seeing orders enforced is something I have witnessed first hand. I hope you've reached a stable point now fella.
Be careful with the lawyers, always remember it is their living and they are in business, and the mother will always do whatever she likes. The best advice is don’t upset her whatever you really think or feel and try and Reach an amicable agreement between you, this way she might stick to it.
I’m on the last child, mine actually went back to the CMS with seven months to go, it is pure greed,
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