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Thread: Best clean dad jokes please.

  1. #101
    Grand Master Griswold's Avatar
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    Why was the sand wet?


    Because the sea weed.
    Best Regards - Peter

    I hate being bipolar, its brilliant.

  2. #102
    Grand Master Griswold's Avatar
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    Feb 2005
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    What's the best thing about Switzerland?


    I don't know, but their flag is a big plus.
    Best Regards - Peter

    I hate being bipolar, its brilliant.

  3. #103
    What’s the difference between a Scotsman and Walt Disney?

    A Scotsman wears a kilt and Walt Disney.


    Sent from my iPhone using TZ-UK mobile app

  4. #104
    Grand Master Wallasey Runner's Avatar
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    Did you hear about the guy on a brewery visit who fell into a large container of beer and drowned. They said it would have been quicker, but he got out three times to go to the toilet.

  5. #105
    Grand Master Griswold's Avatar
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    What's invisible and smells of worms?


    Blackbird farts.
    Best Regards - Peter

    I hate being bipolar, its brilliant.

  6. #106
    Master
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    It's Open Mike night at autopsy club.

  7. #107
    Grand Master Griswold's Avatar
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    What do the letters D.N.A. stand for?



    National Dyslexics Association.
    Best Regards - Peter

    I hate being bipolar, its brilliant.

  8. #108
    Grand Master Griswold's Avatar
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    A group of us walked into a posh restaurant. The Maitre' D asked "do you have reservations?" I said "Yes, but we want to eat here anyway."
    Best Regards - Peter

    I hate being bipolar, its brilliant.

  9. #109
    Master
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    Apr 2017
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    Some good ones here:

    http://www.valebowlingclub.co.uk/Chic_Murray.htm


    I like this one:

    Scene ; Chic and Maidie at Edinburgh airport , next in line to check in , festooned with luggage – en route to, let’s say, Lanzarote.
    Maidie; You’re very quiet, Chic –everything all right?
    Chic; Och, I’m just wishing we had our piano here…
    Maidie; The piano?? Why on earth would we want the piano at an airport?
    Chic; because our flight tickets – and the passports – are on it.

  10. #110
    Craftsman
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    Aug 2012
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    Gods own county of Sussex
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    Did you hear about the Dyslexic pimp? He bought himself a warehouse.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  11. #111
    Journeyman
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    Jun 2014
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    North East England
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    196
    What do you call a fish with no eyes?
    A fsh.

    What's the difference between illegle and unlawful?
    Ones against the law the other is a sick bird.

    Following on from an earlier one...

    What do you call a blind dinosaurs dog?
    Didyouthinkhesaurus rex.

  12. #112
    Craftsman
    Join Date
    Jun 2019
    Location
    Blackwood, United Kingdom
    Posts
    567
    Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist?

    He sold his soul to Santa.

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