Reply With QuoteBroadly speaking I would agree Steve.Originally Posted by Steve27752
Wow there are some judgemental people on this thread! It’s a personal choice, and we chose a nursery that has done our boys a lot of good. It was not about money, but giving them the chance to spend 3 days a week with others.
My wife now works at the same nursery and it’s still just as good, whether the kids are looked after by her (while ours are at school) or one of the ‘minimum wage girls’ (or the man).
Broadly speaking I would agree Steve.
Cheers,
Neil.
Not guessing old fruit.
As I mentioned previously, my niece has worked at a couple of these nurseries and still does, she also knows plenty of girls who work in them too.
Apart from the owners and possibly one other mature women all the girls in the place are young and paid minimum wage.
These are businesses and in reality the owners are always thinking of the bottom line.
Cheers,
Neil.
They’re also tightly monitored Neil…. And I’ve been extremely pleased with the ones that looked after my kids… All 3 of my kids went into a crèche for around 20 hours a week or less… and are just about coping with life…. Evaluating how your kids turned out is based on a multitude of factors…. “My kid turned out well because they didn’t go to crèche” is quite possibly a coincidence! It is also likely related to how attentive you are with your kids when you are spending time in their company…. The days of the pipe smoking indolent father patting their progeny on the head as they skip off to bed has gone!
You can probably guess my position on this if you’ve read my earlier post, but, some of the posts written on here could easily date from 1956…!
I do get really narked by the continued assumption that us men are the bread winners and the little lady is the carer nurturer…. Even if not directly expressed by people on this thread it’s inferred…. Whilst I accept it often works out this way, if men continue to perceive themselves as second string parents it’ll become a self fulfilling prophecy…
As a single dad I was fortunate enough to walk my kids to school and pick them up most days whilst holding down a demanding job…. It was b@stard tough at times, but, I wouldn’t swap any of it for the world…. My relationship with my kids is awesome and they’ve tuned out pretty well…!
Sermon over!
Well said 👍🏻
There are some incredibly opinionated and holier than thou comments on here from some of the 'why bother having kids' brigade.
The whole forum has become like this of late
"A man of little significance"
Of our group of friends, the majority have their kids with childminders (in the childminders own home, locally)
One friend kept her lad at home herself and gave up work, and another boy is with his grandparents rather than a childminder / crèche.
Both of those kids are streets behind the others as far as social skills go.
You can see it clearly when we all get together.
I’m sure they’ll be fine, long term, or when they start school.
Whilst talking about school, the posters who think sending their kids to crèches is an abomination - I expect you’ll be home schooling too, and not farming your kids out to local schools?? Or does your moral compass cease to function when your wee Johnny/Betty reaches 4?
No guilt necessary.
Children hugely benefit from socialising with other children from a very early age. They also benefit from a growing degree of independence from parents too.
Parents who want to overly mollycoddle a child and keep them solely to themselves are inadvertently doing the child a disservice.
So clever my foot fell off.
I don’t doubt that social interaction at any age is beneficial to a child’s personal development but there’s a world of difference with a parent that stays at home with their child and takes them to playgroups or mother and toddler groups to meet others as well as popping round visiting friends with other children verses the parents who dump their child off at 6.30 am and pick them back up at 6.30 pm, take them home and put them to bed and repeat this 5 days per week.
I would think that a teacher in local school has passed an enhanced DBS check, had some kind of training at degree level and is not an untrained teenager just out of school working for minimum wage.
Depends on the nursery, the one my kids go to don't have any young girls, most are 40+ I would say, all really nice and friendly and have helped the kids develop. They only go 2 days a week but my wife wanted to work for a few days and we thought it was good for the kids. I don't think we are fobbing them off for other people to look after, especially when it costs £55 a $&£$!! day to have them there.
Our two are with a childminder in her own home. It’s been a fair while since she was in school I’d guess.
I wouldn’t be particularly comfortable sending them to a place like you describe, and I feel fortunate I have the choice.
I have no doubt there are some substandard nurseries but some of the sweeping generalisations here are ridiculous.
My wife (with a BSc and in a previous life a senior manager in a big company) works at a nursery where all staff have to be level 3 qualified before starting, and many are level 5/6 (degree level approximately). All are late 20s to 40s.
There are some bad nurseries, but to tar all with the same brush to make a point says more about the posters old fashioned views than anything else.
Interesting thread. We went through the same dilemma and the grandparents ended up stepping in. We toured a fair few nurseries and noticed that an outstanding Ofsted rating doesn't equal great quality. We watched one class being taken by a young girl who looked like she was either depressed or had been up all night getting wasted with her pals. Not great. Another nursery had 3 carers who smoked. This can linger on clothes, which is correlated with SID. I'll refrain commenting on whether it is better or worse for your child to go to nursery.
Pedantic point: why are people calling this creche rather than nursery? A creche is generally supervision for older babies for a couple of hours like the ones you see in gyms!
Hopefully they'll toilet train the kid https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-englan...ngham-47867342
Absolutely agree. Obviously if the nurseries are as bad as some people are describing, don't send your children there. But they are not all like that.
Don't think there's a right and wrong answer, but do take issue with anyone who says they NEED to do it for financial reasons. If you're on a low income then it will barely cover childcare costs and if both your incomes are such that either very comfortably cover childcare, the chances are you can manage on one of them. You might not WANT to make the lifestyle changes necessary, but it's usually a choice between those changes and childcare rather than a choice between childcare and destitution!
This is my perspective too.
Horses for courses
What works for one family does not work for another family.
i havent read everything but i have seen enough snippets re 'dumping' kids at creche.
my experience is that my daughter has absolutely loved creche / montessori. She has some amazing friends, gets to do drama, french lessons, sports etc
it is really all about the creche itself. try find one of a decent size with facilities and a long standing management team.
to those who made the decision for one parent to stay at home and mind their kids, fair play to you, but dont look down your nose at people who make an alternative choice.
even now, if i had euromillions money i would still have my daughter going to her current creche, maybe not as early in the morning and probably collect her an hour or two earlier but thats it.
for me, creche / montessori is preferable to an unqualified child minder, and expecting / allowing your own parents mind your kids wouldnt be for me either.
Last edited by cyrusir; 11th April 2019 at 15:29.
Just out of interest isn't/ doesn't montessori have a greater educational commitment/ ideology behind it than the normal baby minding day care centre, I've only a very limited experience of them in the USA but that at least is my understanding.
Just branded day care.
There's also a world of difference between parents who play and interact with their children in the mornings before dropping them at nursery or pre-school at nine and doing the same after collecting them at three or four and parents who keep their children at home and leave them in front of the TV, or bent over in front of a tablet or phone, and take them out for half an hour to a playgroup or mother and toddler group a couple of times per week.
I don't know anyone who dumps their child at nursery or pre-school for 12 hours per day. I do know a lot of people who don't.
"A man of little significance"
If a "Montessori" operates 8am-6pm, it probably is not a Montessori. Montessori follows a 9am-3pm routine or thereabouts. That's the philosophy that Dr Montessori used with the kids under her care and the philosophy still taught at the official Montessori training provider.
If you can find a true Montessori environment for your kid, it'll almost certainly be very beneficial to your child.
or its day care with a montessori school from 9-3 with after care thereafter
You know what? now my boys are 18 and 16 I realise just how short a period of time they’re children. It goes by in a flash, however you choose to raise them. In retrospect I’m glad our particular choices meant we spent a lot of that time with them but ymmv. Whenever I see people doting over babies and toddlers I’m reminded how they’re the very centre of your existence as a parent, and you can’t imagine that ever changing. But it really happens fast. Got to say I’m really proud of both my boys, and the conversation moving to girls, cars, jobs, life in general and a pint down the pub is just as rewarding. But they’re not little for long, just make the most of your time with them
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good post,You know what? now my boys are 18 and 16 I realise just how short a period of time they’re children. It goes by in a flash, however you choose to raise them. In retrospect I’m glad our particular choices meant we spent a lot of that time with them but ymmv. Whenever I see people doting over babies and toddlers I’m reminded how they’re the very centre of your existence as a parent, and you can’t imagine that ever changing. But it really happens fast. Got to say I’m really proud of both my boys, and the conversation moving to girls, cars, jobs, life in general and a pint down the pub is just as rewarding. But they’re not little for long, just make the most of your time with them
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most important thing in life is to know when you have it good and whats important whoever you choose to manage it
Most kids will turn out fine in the end regardless of very early schooling or not, but the time the parents missed with them growing up cannot EVER be replaced.
A baby needs to be with its parent (preferably its mother) for the first 12 months.
Palming off your baby to strangers from as young as 3 months is not right and you are kidding yourself if you think it is ok and does no damage to the child's development, psychology or its relationship with its parents.
May sound harsh - but you know it is true.
They don't give them away completely. You are allowed to pick them up most days.
In summary, then,
Whatever I did/would do with my kid(s) is best; any other scenario is detrimental to a child's development, and probably bordering on neglect.
Or, more sensibly,
Pretty much.
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