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Thread: Dementia.. any experience?

  1. #1
    Master
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    Dementia.. any experience?

    My Father-in-Law has just been diagnosed in his late 50's.

    He's been getting slow, confused and forgetful for a long time but we put it down to overwork to be honest. Now the doctor has confirmed our niggling suspicion that he has early signs of dementia.

    Any advice? He has been going alone to his appointments and either forgetting what he's been told or just keeping it to himself. He is basically convinced that it's as good as a death sentence and my only expernence of it in the family was precisely that - diagnosis then a short decline and then the end.

    We're all very upset and confused and not sure what to do. We're meeting with his doctor (apparently) in the next few weeks.

  2. #2
    Grand Master number2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear about your FIL, my FIL started down the same road about 8 years ago,
    1) Set up 'power of attorney' both for wellbeing and finances.
    2) Get all the family round the table to discuss.
    Early days but we've learnt a lot over the last few years so any advice we can offer we will.

    n2
    "Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. The third time it's enemy action."

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by number2 View Post
    Sorry to hear about your FIL, my FIL started down the same road about 8 years ago,
    1) Set up 'power of attorney' both for wellbeing and finances.
    2) Get all the family round the table to discuss.
    Early days but we've learnt a lot over the last few years so any advice we can offer we will.

    n2
    As above my father has only had it for a few years(now 78) and it brings me to tears to see how quickly his health and memory have gone(fit as a fiddle at 76)

    With other health issues he will be lucky to see this year out.

    My brother and his current partner have discussed all options out in the open so talk to everyone as people will have different views and opinions.

    Mark

  4. #4
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    Sorry to hear the terrible news. My Dad has Vascular Dementia, it is horrible to see. It breaks my heart to go & visit him in his residential home.

    The first thing I did, which has been mentioned before is to obtain Lasting power of Attorney. I have sole power for health & wealth. Think it was around £600, but it gives you total control & peace of mind. I also set up a funeral plan, so that takes care of the eventuality of my Dad passing away & being lumbered with a hefty bill.

    When he lived on his own, my Dad tended to wander in the middle of the night. We got Carecall to fit sensors on his door so they could ring him once the porch door was opened. It worked for a while, but as he detioriated further, not so much.

    That's all I can offer, but just keep that chin up when things start to go downhill. It broke my heart to sign the papers to send him to a care home, but it was for the best, he wouldn't be able to cope in the real world, otherwise.

  5. #5
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    Been through it three times and am going through it again with another relative at the moment.

    As others have said an LPA Health and Finance (if he has capacity)will help as will good diagnosis and, as it gets progressively worse, a capacity evaluation (the patient has to agree to this and it is difficult without this to get a funded care package).


    B

  6. #6
    Very sorry to hear this.
    The only thing I can say is that lasting power of Attorney can be done without the aid of a solicitor its just form filling and very easy to do.
    Costs £80 to process.

    My thoughts though are with you and the family, not an easy time.

  7. #7
    My mother has Alzheimer's, probably for 4-5 years and I'd say it is not necessarily a rapid decline and death. Yes, her memory is gradually getting worse and she's less able to do stuff but she still lives at home with carer coming 3 times a day.

    In some ways it's worse for us seeing how she is but think she'll die of something related to old-age and general frailty (she' 83) rather than dementia directly. On the other hand 50's is no age to be suffering with this, it's a terrible disease.

    Agree with post above, no need for solicitor to get LPA.

  8. #8
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    Thanks all. All my wife can think about is whether he needs to surrender his driving license or rather when, how bad he needs to get.

    I was thinking more along the lines of treatment to stave it off as long as possible. I have no idea about this stuff at all.

  9. #9
    Grand Master Chris_in_the_UK's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kevkojak View Post
    Thanks all. All my wife can think about is whether he needs to surrender his driving license or rather when, how bad he needs to get.

    I was thinking more along the lines of treatment to stave it off as long as possible. I have no idea about this stuff at all.
    Sorry to read this Kev.

    My grandmother suffered before she passed away (not dementia related BTW). LPA is a must and the sooner the better for all involved - it's much more difficult once a person has limited/affected capacity. I am involved with a local Dementia charity so it's a subject close to my heart.

    There are various treatment strategies and it's worth doing some independent research yourself, there may well be a local charity or help group which will have a mine of information and can offer tons of support - sometimes it's just good to talk to people in similar circumstances.

    Best wishes.
    When you look long into an abyss, the abyss looks long into you.........

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by kevkojak View Post
    I was thinking more along the lines of treatment to stave it off as long as possible. I have no idea about this stuff at all.
    Unfortunately I don't think there are any such treatments.

    My mother takes Aricept/Donepezil for Alzheimers (if FIL has vascular dementia there may be other options) but think the benefit is marginal if even real.

  11. #11
    Sorry to hear this. Have been through this twice, once father, once mother. A really big lesson to everyone, once you finish work don't sit in the armchair reading the mail. I am doing everything I can to eat well and remain active. A tough one, but you need to take the license. My father put the wrong fuel in the car twice, and finally was seen driving back from the shop (15 minutes walk) with the afore-mentioned mail, on the wrong side of the road. Cue one very difficult, but ultimately successful, conversation.

  12. #12
    Master mrwozza70's Avatar
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    It's a horrible thing to see people you love slowly deteriorating in front of your eyes, and all you can do is be a support for your family and enjoy every moment you can...

    My mother has all sorts of issues and although only in her 70s I can see her slowly breaking down and absolutely certain she has dementia or something. Unfortunately she won't visit a GP or Hospital unless she has to go... in an ambulance! And that's becoming more and more regular. My dad is 85 and had triple heart bypass so it looks like I'll be having to make some tough decisions in the near future.

    I find it all heart breaking

  13. #13
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    Really sorry to hear about your Father in Law

    I dont have much experience in my family,but i work on a regular basis in Private Care homes and see residents with dementia

    There are many different types of dementia ,some more aggressive than others, I hope that with the amount of research thats being done a better standard of treatment will be available soon.

    At the moment I think there is too many drugs being used that may or may not work! which also causes side affects and illness.

    From what I have seen its important to keep contact , I have seen and heard too many stories where family members stick the elderly in a care home and never visit or have any contact. I realise this is hard and upsetting, as the resident may not know who you are but I still think its very important for there general wellbeing, knowing that a loved one is there.

    Sage advice about the legal side, you need to get this in place asap

    All the very best

  14. #14
    I've been down that path with my father as well. It runs in the family. My grandma (dad's mother), my dad and his sister all had dementia. It's a very sad process to watch. All I can say is what the others said: make sure you have the legal part sorted before it is too late.

    I have no brothers and sisters, so that made things 'legal-wise' a lot simpler. And my dad was at the beginning of the process aware of his situation. (My mom had passed away a few years earlier). That made it easier for both of us to discuss his plans, his financials, his funeral (yes...). Within weeks I could no longer have a proper conversation with him. Makes me sad to write this. But it is what it is. He lived 60 kms to the east in a psycho-geriatric home, so I didn't have the chance to visit him daily. I always went on Friday around the 8 o'clock news. We watched the telly, drank some coffee and -because he had no idea of time- I left him an hour later. I kept up that routine for three years, every Friday.

    M

  15. #15
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    Dementia.. any experience?

    Lots of very solid advice on here regarding LPA & as others have said there are many different strains of this wicked condition and the majority are not a death sentence .
    We are currently going through this trauma with the mother in law and it has and does reduce those nearest and dearest .
    Look after yourselves is my first advice , you have to be strong and focused as well as compassionate , however you will soon find there is no template for these conditions as they all have their own traits .
    One observation I heard which summed it up ,Ēthe patient has the condition and the rest of the family suffer from it ď
    This Iím afraid is the new epidemic that is being diagnosed and unfortunately treatment and help is hit and miss depending on your location .
    Cut backs by HMGovt have not helped .
    Iím sorry to say that my Mother in laws condition caused the premature demise of her husband who was the old school and would not let anyone help until it was too late .
    Get the family round , be honest with each other have the conversations that you are dreading , be strong and donít let this horrible condition divide you .
    I hope your GP will put you in touch with support facilities they are out there .

    Sorry I could not offer too much joy , however there is no miracle powder available for what you and thousands of others are now experiencing .
    Best wishes and my thoughts are with you during this difficult journey .


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    Last edited by Norbert; 4th February 2019 at 18:35.

  16. #16
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    While he still has sufficient mental capacity, encourage him to take advice and update his will. Donít attempt a DIY job or go to one of the dubious will-writing firms, do ensure that he engages a STEP-qualified specialist. He may not get another opportunity to revise it so itís important to tell the adviser about all relevant family circumstances such as any family members ďnot being good with moneyĒ or heading for possible divorce. A good practitioner will, so far as can be predicted, ensure that the will is as ďfuture proofĒ as possible.

  17. #17
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    As others have said some good advice.
    The wifeís gran once diagnosed went downhill rapidly to the extent my wife stopped the regular visits as it was too painful for her, itís a massive regret of hers now itís too late to male amens.

    Speaking as a family and as the wider family early is good advice, this didnít happen with my wifeís gran if it had other options would have been taken.

    Potentially think about adding a cctv system, for extra piece of mind.

  18. #18
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    Really good advise provided already

    Father suffers from Alzheimers. He was diagnosed over 5 years ago but we realised that he was suffering for much longer than that.

    Emotions will be running riot at the moment, meaning a lot of worrying and sleepless nights. So you really have to be careful to look after yourselves at this stage, and continue to do so as time goes on. As many people will say, you will be no good to anyone if you aren't taking care of yourselves.

    Regardless of the diagnosis, no doubt that legal matters need to be addressed reasonably quickly. Simply because the legal documents need to be signed by a person of sound mind, noted by a witness.

    You will need to start considering management of your FIL's assets while you still have the time, again while he is of sound mind. Especially before you have to involve social services and their means testing requirements.

    May I suggest that you speak to your FIL about what he would like to happen during different stages of dementia, in terms of future care, care homes and such like. But the conversation needs to be more practical rather than emotional. It is painful but it can help with future decisions.

    Its not nice for me to say, but please consider if there is a level of certainty that its dementia. I only say this because there are other conditions that can have the affect of memory loss, etc, such as depression.

    When you start googling, you will find that there are different types of dementia which progress in different ways.

    For my father, the Alzheimers was diagnosed by a doctor at a memory clinic. If this hasn't occurred yet, then the GP should send for a referral to the local NHS memory clinic. They may request a MRI, or CT scan of the brain if necessary. There they will diagnose based on the history of the symptoms, and provide further guidance. An appointment can take quite some time. Many months for my father.

    For Alzheimers theres a couple of medications which are meant to help reduce the symptoms, Aricept and Memantine but they do have side affects and Im not sure you can really know if they are helping or not. Don't know about medication for other types of dementia.

    As for the rate of progression, this also depends on the type of dementia, but also dementia progresses differently for every person, both in terms of symptoms and time.

    So just take a step at a time. The kind of care needed now will be different to the kind of care needed in the future, as the dementia progresses. Also you will learn how to communicate with a person having dementia, as their behaviour changes.

    There are some basic behaviours that you will need to be watch for, such as walking out the door but not knowing where they are going, not drinking enough water can cause UTI infections, sundowning, sleep issues

    There are organisations out there who may be able to help, advise, and provide guidance booklets, such as Alzheimers Society, Age UK, Dementia Friends, Although you may have to reach out to them.

    Over time, you hopefully learn to be objective and practical. Unfortunately there may not be an ideal solution to many issues. And sometimes there is no right answer. There will be feelings of guilt at having to make painful decisions.

    I will always feel guilty at some of the decisions that I have made so far. But I had to be practical for the family.

    Sorry but this is a subject that doesn't really have much positivity,
    Last edited by bins; 5th February 2019 at 11:30.

  19. #19
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    Thank you very very much for all the replies and the PM's of support, it has all been a tremendous help.

    As it stands because he is my Father in Law I feel like I can treat the situation with a little bit of remove - I want to try to be the one to deal with the shitty decisions so my wife doesn't have to.

    He is married, of course, but Mother in Law is the proverbial nagging wife, she simply can't let him have a moments peace in the house, always something to be done. I am very gently trying to get her to see how serious this all is, but she's having none of it... it seems like she even resents the attention he's getting. The atmosphere is quite toxic, with half the family quite emotional and the other half almost blaming him (hard to explain it better than that).

    His cousin died a couple of months ago after what my wife thinks was a similar situation... a diagnosis of some sort of illness. He has seemed a lot worse since that happened. https://www.leicestermercury.co.uk/n...e-body-2281029

  20. #20
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    Sorry to hear the news- my mum(73) was diagnosed about a year ago (dementia with lewybodies)-
    She was initially diagnosed with Parkinson's as the initial symptoms are the same-Due to my wife and I separating I'm back at home and I must admit its very distressing and does upset me as at times shes not my old mum
    She has good and bad days and its often comical - dad and I make light of it but its so sad- she often forgets who I am and also my children.
    Dad does care for mum but its such hard work and with the constant questions its sometimes hard to stay calm and not get cross
    Tea bags in the kettle, cauli in the freezer,kids playing in the dust bins and hiding under the cushions.
    Although I must say the newer meds have decreased the hallucinations somewhat- she was forever seeking small children and creatures
    Last edited by lewie; 5th February 2019 at 13:40.

  21. #21
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    My mother (92 this year) was diagnosed with Alzheimer last month. We were aware she was deteriorating prior to the diagnosis, but she is refusing to let the carers in, will not eat what they provide, and is in total denial. Today we contacted social services to discuss the options - because if she went into a care home (from £1600 a week where she lives) she would not stay. So we being in her own home is where we are. Whilst my sisters and I are pretty much retired, it is taking over our lives, each visiting weekly (London to Cambridge) and daily discussions.

  22. #22
    1600 p/wk... insane. That's impossible to pay for most people. Never thought that Dutch care would be cheaper! Here, it differs between 169 euros monthly for people who cannot afford more up to 2200 if you opt for a privately owned home, that's including a small apartment, meals and all that's needed for the care. 10 yrs ago that was 1700 euros - what I had to pay for my dad. I sold his house and that gave me enough 'room' to keep this going on for years if needed.

    Rereading all postings and reading all new ones, I can't help thinking that this one subject where I can not come up with one 'cheering-up' experience. This whole process of Dementia is a very sad one. Perhaps this helps: back when my father was diagnosed with D., I noticed that a lot of people were willing to listen to my stories and were involved in the same process somehow. Reading the reactions here, I think that it's the same in this virtual G&D bar. Lots of experience, well-thought advice and a virtual pat on the back. As said, perhaps this helps.

    My father was a very down-to-earth man. That made things a lot easier when it came to making decisions at the end of the process and later his funeral. Upon this day, I'm still happy and convinced that everything I had to decide was 'in style' with his life and view on things. Discuss this as soon as possible, even if the whole conversation will be a sad one and a tearful one.



    Menno
    Last edited by thieuster; 5th February 2019 at 19:36.

  23. #23
    Journeyman
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    Private Care Home fees are very expensive and its dependent on where you live ( House prices ect),but no guarantee of any better Care than cheaper homes!

    The standard of care is more important in my experience, most of the homes I work in are to a top standard and more like Hotels.

    Its all about the people running them, from Home manager to the care staff this is crucial.

  24. #24
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    Iím am going through this now with my mum

    Some very good info already but we have found a Ring.com door Bell and CCTV inside the house to be very helpful, because of the doorbell we have already intercepted someone that was IMO 100% a confidence trickster plus a police officer knocking at the door at 8-40pm, which was genuine but even so

    And make sure you have POA


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  25. #25
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    My Mum has vascular, nothing to add other than al the posters on here have my utmost sympathy. Shitty, nasty, unfair condition.

  26. #26
    Craftsman Templogin's Avatar
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    My partner's dad passed away at the weekend, after 3 years with dementia at 90 years old.

    With a doctorate in nuclear physics he was a bright, kind and gentle guy.

    If I could give any advice it would be to get any relatives that he wants to see him now, before he goes downhill any further. It is terribly upsetting for those that see the degeneration, and it is awful for the patient as they get confused when people are visiting them who they no longer recognise.

    Costs were £1,000 per week at the care home, and he needed a lot of help as his body started to give up.

    LPA advice above is good.

  27. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by bins View Post
    Really good advise provided already

    Father suffers from Alzheimers. He was diagnosed over 5 years ago but we realised that he was suffering for much longer than that.

    Emotions will be running riot at the moment, meaning a lot of worrying and sleepless nights. So you really have to be careful to look after yourselves at this stage, and continue to do so as time goes on. As many people will say, you will be no good to anyone if you aren't taking care of yourselves.

    Regardless of the diagnosis, no doubt that legal matters need to be addressed reasonably quickly. Simply because the legal documents need to be signed by a person of sound mind, noted by a witness.

    You will need to start considering management of your FIL's assets while you still have the time, again while he is of sound mind. Especially before you have to involve social services and their means testing requirements.

    May I suggest that you speak to your FIL about what he would like to happen during different stages of dementia, in terms of future care, care homes and such like. But the conversation needs to be more practical rather than emotional. It is painful but it can help with future decisions.

    Its not nice for me to say, but please consider if there is a level of certainty that its dementia. I only say this because there are other conditions that can have the affect of memory loss, etc, such as depression.

    When you start googling, you will find that there are different types of dementia which progress in different ways.

    For my father, the Alzheimers was diagnosed by a doctor at a memory clinic. If this hasn't occurred yet, then the GP should send for a referral to the local NHS memory clinic. They may request a MRI, or CT scan of the brain if necessary. There they will diagnose based on the history of the symptoms, and provide further guidance. An appointment can take quite some time. Many months for my father.

    For Alzheimers theres a couple of medications which are meant to help reduce the symptoms, Aricept and Memantine but they do have side affects and Im not sure you can really know if they are helping or not. Don't know about medication for other types of dementia.

    As for the rate of progression, this also depends on the type of dementia, but also dementia progresses differently for every person, both in terms of symptoms and time.

    So just take a step at a time. The kind of care needed now will be different to the kind of care needed in the future, as the dementia progresses. Also you will learn how to communicate with a person having dementia, as their behaviour changes.

    There are some basic behaviours that you will need to be watch for, such as walking out the door but not knowing where they are going, not drinking enough water can cause UTI infections, sundowning, sleep issues

    There are organisations out there who may be able to help, advise, and provide guidance booklets, such as Alzheimers Society, Age UK, Dementia Friends, Although you may have to reach out to them.

    Over time, you hopefully learn to be objective and practical. Unfortunately there may not be an ideal solution to many issues. And sometimes there is no right answer. There will be feelings of guilt at having to make painful decisions.

    I will always feel guilty at some of the decisions that I have made so far. But I had to be practical for the family.

    Sorry but this is a subject that doesn't really have much positivity,
    I'm a GP and this is pretty spot on advice.
    Definitely ensure that he is formally assessed in an NHS memory clinic.
    Try to tap in to all the available local support when needed-this may vary from area to area but dementia UK are a good source of advice.
    It's a difficult time, for sure, but support can help ease the process.

  28. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by bins View Post

    Its not nice for me to say, but please consider if there is a level of certainty that its dementia. I only say this because there are other conditions that can have the affect of memory loss, etc, such as depression.


    Very strange you say that, the doctor initially diagnosed as depression and stress but has since revised his opinion.
    We are of course looking to specialists now for second opinions, confirmation etc. The hope is that it's not as serious as we fear but we're braced for the worst - this weekend was the big shock I suppose.

  29. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by kevkojak View Post
    Very strange you say that, the doctor initially diagnosed as depression and stress but has since revised his opinion.
    We are of course looking to specialists now for second opinions, confirmation etc. The hope is that it's not as serious as we fear but we're braced for the worst - this weekend was the big shock I suppose.
    Blood tests will usually rule out things like UTI infections or vitamin deficiencies and there are other conditions that show similar symptoms.

    Common symptoms of alzheimers include a strange gait when walking, balancing and falls, constantly repeating questions and comments, difficulty performing simple tasks including dressing. Not sure about other forms. there are a fair few on searching the web

    Primarily MRI or CT plus history of symptoms usually help guide a doctor at a memory clinic to diagnose dementia and possibly the type
    Last edited by bins; 6th February 2019 at 23:10.

  30. #30
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    My Dad has had dementia for the past couple of years,today the doctor visited and said expect the worst in the next few days.Not easy to see him this way,and listen to his words making no sense to us.
    Today he was in another country,in another bed in an exact replica of his house back in England,he is in his house here in England and has only ever lived and owned the one house.We visited him on Sunday after which he went to bed and has remained there since,he's no longer the Dad I had and knew,he's ready to pass away now and I can see why being the way he is.Mum and Dad have travelled the world in recent times just the two of them,and as kids with once four now three brothers,so it's hard to watch someone who was so independant end up as he now has.
    The next concern is Mum,she is now showing signs of her age and all the related issues and some.My Brother said today,this is us in 20 or so years!.Old age creeps up so damn fast,I'm 60 in October and yet I don't see myself as old!,but in reality I am,it's no good saying 60 is the new 40 or 30!,it isn't IMO,it's just the lifestyle we might have that has people say that.I certainly can't do some of the things I could ten years ago.........and it won't get any better unfortunately.

    Old age for the majority isn't a great place to be......


  31. #31
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    As a follow up to this I’m sad to say mum passed away peacefully yesterday.
    She’d had gone down hill rapidly over the last few weeks- the care team were fab- a couple of weeks ago we had managed to set her up in the lounge in a hospital bed and careres were attending 3 times a day to assist
    We knew the end was close and we were giving palative care- on a visit yesterday the district nurse suggested that dad contact my brother an I to get us home from work
    We were close so the family was together within 15 minutes- we arrived in time to be with her at the end
    Wow what a fab Mum
    I cannot praise the careers enough- especially having to put up with my fathers constant banter
    Last edited by lewie; 28th September 2019 at 07:59.

  32. #32
    Master Chinnock's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lewie View Post
    As a follow up to this Iím sad to say mum passed away peacefully yesterday.
    Sheíd had gone down hill rapidly over the last few weeks- the care team was fab- a couple of weeks ago we had managed to set her up in the lounge in a hospital bed and careres were attending 3 times a day to assist
    We knew the end was close and we were giving palative care- on a visit yesterday the district nurse suggested that dad contact my brother an I to get us home from work
    We were close so the family was together within 15 minutes- we arrived in time to be with her at the end
    Wow what a fab Mum
    I cannot praise the careers enough- especially having to put up with my fathers constant banter
    Very sad but pleased you were all with her when she passed away.

  33. #33
    Grand Master
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    Just going to visit my Dad at home,he's now 91 but he says he's 100 lol.He has had dementia for a good few years now,but it has been over the last 12 months that we have seen a dramatic change and more so over the last six.
    He now finds it very difficult to remember most things,the worst struggling to know who we all are,not helped by him being deaf to the point we are constantly having to shout to be maybe heard!,and his sight is only him seeing a shadow,at which he'll say who is there.
    He is now so frail and still visiting the hospital for whatever else is wrong yet bounces back like a new ball!,and which I'd struggle to do perhaps.
    Hes does say he wants to die every time we visit,and I can understand that completely as his life is one of mostly laying in bed.
    A terrible thing to have to live with,and equally as bad for family to have to see this awful disease of the mind,and all that goes with it too,and there are many.
    50 is young to be having to go thru the early stages of dementia and I only wish him and his family all the best inc the best help for his future.


  34. #34
    Quote Originally Posted by kevkojak View Post
    My Father-in-Law has just been diagnosed in his late 50's.

    He's been getting slow, confused and forgetful for a long time but we put it down to overwork to be honest. Now the doctor has confirmed our niggling suspicion that he has early signs of dementia.

    Any advice? He has been going alone to his appointments and either forgetting what he's been told or just keeping it to himself. He is basically convinced that it's as good as a death sentence and my only expernence of it in the family was precisely that - diagnosis then a short decline and then the end.

    We're all very upset and confused and not sure what to do. We're meeting with his doctor (apparently) in the next few weeks.
    Has he been to a memory clinic for cognitive assessment and has he had an MRI? Is he being referred to an Early Onset / Younger People Dementia team for support? What variant does he have?

  35. #35
    My mother in law has the early onset. From a practical perspective one of the problems we have is the losing of keys and money leading to the blaming of others for them being misplaced/lost or stolen. I fitted a safe in the hope it would reassure her and replaced all the euro door locks with thumb turn locks. Also bought an esky key finder off Amazon which should also help.

  36. #36
    Master
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    My mother-in-law has dementia, she is 93 (otherwise fit and healthy), just spent an evening eating spaghetti bolognas and drinking (a little) red wine with her, so confused about whose alive and wants to go see her mother tomorrow! apparently has never seen her daughter in law (millions of meetings over 40years) its so sad and hard to understand/comprehended.
    Get power of eternity ASAP!
    Also ownership of property as well.


    Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

  37. #37
    Master Xantiagib's Avatar
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    my mum has normal pressure hydrocephaly and the symptom are very similar to dementia - a shunt was put in her brain to drain the fluid but at her age (70s) the damage may be permanent while we saw a slight improvement in her short term memory - living on her own is becoming more and more of a challenge.

    Cbd oil can help - not reverse dementia - just will well being - dementia patients get a lot of anxiety due to the confusion and this helps. My aunt has had dementia for ages (and now cannot remember her own hsusband or kids,) seems to eat better on CBD, her appetite was suffering and we all know the digestive system is our second 'brain'...

    also may be worth investing in a Gps tracker if need arises. My cousin's gran used to get up in the night and go for long walks poor thing. even unlocking the complex door locks, getting on buses etc... things that in the day she would need help to do...
    Last edited by Xantiagib; 30th September 2019 at 09:20.

  38. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by mjc1216 View Post
    As above my father has only had it for a few years(now 78) and it brings me to tears to see how quickly his health and memory have gone(fit as a fiddle at 76)

    With other health issues he will be lucky to see this year out.

    My brother and his current partner have discussed all options out in the open so talk to everyone as people will have different views and opinions.

    Mark
    Didn't realize i hadn't updated this thread re my own father...he passed away on 13th Feb a few days after i first posted this.

    He wasn't the best dad and the last few months have been difficult sorting out the estate which in the end he left everything to his fancy woman.

    My brother at least came back from Oz for the funeral so it was nice to catch up.


    Mark

  39. #39
    Master pacifichrono's Avatar
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    I'm showing some symptoms myself, but maybe it's just old age.

  40. #40
    The Dutch version of the Alzheimer Society is running a campaign: they sell socks and the money goes to Research. Needless to say that I've bought a pair.



    (Pic from the internet - mine are in the post on their way to my home)
    Last edited by thieuster; 30th September 2019 at 19:54.

  41. #41
    Master
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    Sad to read of others' experiences with dementia.

    My mother-in-law was forgetful ever since I met her in 2007 or so, when she was in her early '70s. She'd often ask the same question twice in the same conversation, for example. But a few years later she'd started asking her daughter about the whereabouts of her husband (my wife's father), who'd died in 2003. She started telephoning my wife with alarming regularity, sometimes 15 or 20 times a night. She would insist to be taken "home" to the nearby town where she was brought up, apparently unfamiliar with the home where she'd lived for decades, once or twice having packed some of her belongings into suitcases and cardboard boxes.

    Every night she'd ring up and demand to know when her granddaughter was coming "home", apparently under the impression that she was her own daughter. She'd frequently claim to have spoken recently to her parents, long dead in reality. One time she was found feeding a photograph of her nephew with a teaspoon. She'd been diagnosed with Alzheimer's by this time and eventually, when she was found wandering outside in the street where she lived clutching a photograph of her daughter and in a state of some distress, she was deprived of her liberty and put in a care home. This was particularly stressful for all concerned because she'd always threatened her daughters never to put her in a home, and for whatever reason on the day she was taken there she was fairly lucid and knew exactly what was happening to her. But whenever we'd take her back there after a visit she'd have no idea where she was, sometimes asking if she was being taken to meet her husband.

    She started to deteriorate quite quickly a year or two later and in the end was allowed to die, the process being quickened by her not being provided with food or water, which of course was intensely stressful for her daughters especially.

    It's superfluous to say it I know but it's an awful, wretched disease that can deprive people of all dignity and peace of mind.

  42. #42
    A heartbreaking story and sů recognisable!

    As I've said before and expressed once more: I suffered a heart attack about 10 yrs ago. I'm never afraid that it will happen again. But with Alzheimer running in the family, I'm genuinely afraid that it will happen to me. Every time I forget something or hear: "Yeah you already told me that!" I get a feeling of uncertainty.

    Menno

  43. #43
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    My Mum, now 86 is badly affected, although it's thought to be vascular dementia caused by continuing mini strokes the effect is the same. The only "blessings" if you can call them that, are that she seems stuck in a timezone which spans between 50 and 30 years ago, and most of her delusions centre around visiting and being visited by people long dead or living the other side of the country, mostly pleasant things, also she is bed bound so getting up and doing herself mischief isn't an issue.
    The worst aspect of it is my dad, who is 90 and in very good order mentally and physically cannot grasp that there is no pont in trying to put her right on things, this does cause her confusion and upset. If she asks me why my (now late sadly) sister hasn't been up for example, I just asy she's away for the week or whatever and this is a good enough answer for her, but my father will insist on telling her that Ceri is dead, and the look on her face is heartbreaking. Cruel cruel condition.

  44. #44
    Master
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    Quote Originally Posted by thieuster View Post
    (Pic from the internet - mine are in the post on their way to my home)
    Great way of supporting, and raising awareness, of a truly awful condition. I'd have bought several pairs of them if I could but the NL website looks like it doesn't offer postage abroad. If anyone is able to get me 4 pairs then please pm me (I've sent a query to the UK Society as I reckon these would sell well here, especially as teenagers seem to love odd socks!). Thanks.

  45. #45
    Master
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    Quote Originally Posted by ernestrome View Post
    Has he been to a memory clinic for cognitive assessment and has he had an MRI? Is he being referred to an Early Onset / Younger People Dementia team for support? What variant does he have?

    I've not a clue sadly, other than yes. he's been to the memory clinic and they were still unable to diagnose.
    They referred him back to GP for some anti-depressants and various stress/anxiety exercises and we're still waiting for a follow-up appointment.

    My Mother-In-Law took him to one appointment but was so dis-interested she literally couldn't tell us the first thing that had been said!! Sister-in-law took him to the next and he was struggling with basic short term memory, for example the doc gave him a random address to remember when he walked in (33 Church Street, Oxford, plus a postcode), and 20 minutes later he couldn't recall any part of it; number, street or city.

    He does seem better at home, but he is obsessively cleaning all day long which is also a worry. He finishes the house, then starts again!

  46. #46
    Master wildheart's Avatar
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    My father passed away with dementia. I am now a dementia friend and support others with the condition.
    The Dementia Action Alliance are a national group that do some great work. https://nationaldementiaaction.org.uk/

  47. #47
    Quote Originally Posted by deepreddave View Post
    Great way of supporting, and raising awareness, of a truly awful condition. I'd have bought several pairs of them if I could but the NL website looks like it doesn't offer postage abroad. If anyone is able to get me 4 pairs then please pm me (I've sent a query to the UK Society as I reckon these would sell well here, especially as teenagers seem to love odd socks!). Thanks.
    PM on its way!

  48. #48
    Master robcuk's Avatar
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    4 pairs on order here too, wonderful idea.
    My mum had dementia, not Alzheimerís, but it meant I lost the real Ďherí for at least the last 3 years of her life. But looking back itís easy to see the symptoms, even her GP said as much, and they saw her more often than anyone else.

  49. #49
    Craftsman ajdh's Avatar
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    There are local support groups that can help. They'll give you the best advice.

  50. #50
    Quote Originally Posted by robcuk View Post
    4 pairs on order here too, wonderful idea.
    My mum had dementia, not Alzheimer’s, but it meant I lost the real ‘her’ for at least the last 3 years of her life. But looking back it’s easy to see the symptoms, even her GP said as much, and they saw her more often than anyone else.
    Did you order through the Dutch website? And have it send to your Dutch address, I suppose? I found out that Jumbo Supermarkets (the second large grocery chain here) sells them all of their 500+ stores. Mine will arrive tomorrow.

    I'll contact the Dutch sellers tomorrow I've written an email to the organisation and webshop to try to persuade them to change the website allowing UK customers to order them as well.

    Menno
    Last edited by thieuster; 1st October 2019 at 19:38.

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