Reply With QuoteCan't the son just knock on his door and ask to collect them?
Anyone have experience of this?
My other half left her previous partner the year before last. It was an acrimonious split due to his infidelity.
She lived with him in his house, she made no financial claims on him.
Some furniture was hers and she had this moved out along with her belongings etc.
She didnt retrieve a couple of boxes from his loft containing an assortment of old family photos and small items.
After managing to speak to him on the phone about 4 months ago - he had said that her son (who lives nearby) could call by and collect them.
Since then neither her or her son are able to contact him by phone and he is not responding to emails or letters.
Is this the sort of thing that can go to a small claims court?
I have suggested that she has a solicitor write to him - perhaps the formality of this might get him to respond?
Any ideas?
Can't the son just knock on his door and ask to collect them?
He has tried - the guy just ignores him.
Lives in a large house with a driveway with locked gates at the end - wont respond to the buzzer even though its obvious that he's in.
My other half and I have tried to speak to him in the local pub that he frequents but he refuses to engage.
I wouldn’t bother with small claims or a solicitor.
She would have to prove that the items (a) had been in the loft and (b) were hers.
If she managed to move furniture out at the time she could have emptied the loft.
He could just dump them, deny any knowledge of them, and accuse her of nuisance.
Best to do it amicably or not at all.
The police usually have access to mediators or PCSO's to talk to the bloke on her behalf.
n2
"Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. The third time it's enemy action."
'Populism, the last refuge of a Tory scoundrel'.
He delivered said furniture and various items to her then new address. Said that he would bring the boxes but didn't. When she spoke on the phone to him he said that he would give the boxes her son and that he should call to arrange a time. Since then he has refused to engage in any way.Originally Posted by vortgern
The items in the boxes have no value other than sentimental.
I guess that its about control.
Last edited by Velorum; 20th January 2019 at 18:23.
I think she needs to write the items off.
As said, if he hasn’t already done so he could dispose of the items / deny they were ever there.
Approaching him in public places, approaching his property, starting a small claim, instructing solicitors, etc. could all lead to him making a complaint of harassment.
Appeal to his better nature, be specific and ask for the family photos. You never know.
As they were stored in the loft, are the photos really that important? Emotive topics tend to cloud our judgement.
My advice, move on.
Thanks, looks as though there are no legal options.
Some people are so strange.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Even though there is little or no chance of legal proceedings being successful you could still try and have a sollicitor send a letter. He might decide it is not worth the hassle.
Congratulations btw, with the background info.
I would still have a letter written from the solicitor it could prompt the return, if you have photos of the stuff and proof it’s yours then it’s an absolute slam dunk, my ex kept nearly all of my stuff and I had proof of bought it all and photos of the vast majority.. plus evidence she’d openly sold a lot of it online, she was forced to compensate me for them, if you have evidence a court would treat you fairly especially if he’s admitted to having them and them refused to co operate
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Why move on you can’t replace family photos,you don’t always have them to hand that doesn’t mean they aren’t important.
I’ve seen partners throw them away just to be spiteful.
I would try the son again perhaps if you catch him on a good day things will be different.
Maybe just give it time, he might change his mind, be in a better place, not so bitter etc and give them back voluntarily.
Go old school and write a letter? It will come across very personal, explain the importance of the items to you and your family. It may work and tbh other options seem pretty limited.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Not a job for either Police or PCSO's.
Purely for the potential cost in legal fees; if that's the route followed.
Does he have a letter box?
Fas est ab hoste doceri
Never understand why people behave like this - my sympathies to your partner. The adult ‘me’ says just leave it, the 16 year old ‘me’ says leave it a year then knee him in the goolies at an appropriate moment! - although I’d never resort to something like that the mental image can be quite rewarding
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
It sounds to me that this is her current plan.Never understand why people behave like this - my sympathies to your partner. The adult ‘me’ says just leave it, the 16 year old ‘me’ says leave it a year then knee him in the goolies at an appropriate moment! - although I’d never resort to something like that the mental image can be quite rewarding
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
No witnesses she hissed under her breath.
I cant help but feel a little sorry for him.
I agree with this. If it is ignored then you can consider other options such as solicitors letter, etc, but sending a simple polite letter first will provide a good platform if a harder approach is subsequently required as it provides evidence to support that you have acted reasonably.
I'm in a similar situation with my ex who utilised the 'system' to have me removed from our house, turfed lots of my belongings into the street and commenced an 'assisted' campaign to erase me from my children's lives. Legal advice thus far has been to see lost possessions as gone for good, to forget other shared possessions unless I am willing to engage in a costly legal battle to claim them and to commence court proceedings to get the house recognised as belonging to both of us but then to suck it up and forget about retrieving the equity to rehouse myself until my youngest son is 18. Meanwhile, I'm counting pennies and my ex has gone to Goa for three weeks.
I'd seriously suggest your partner focuses on amassing such a huge amount of positive memories and experiences with you that her ex chokes and finds himself gazing helplessly across the river Styx following a huge dose of karma. I really do wish her the very best of luck.
Thanks for all of the replies and comments folks.
I think that she is gradually becoming more philisophical about it - though still angry. Talks about waiting on the bank of the river long enough to see the body of her enemy float past. I do hope that this is an old Native American quote (or in that vein) as opposed to part of a complex plan.
We are getting married in April so the thought of having to spend the rest of her days with a house full of watches, old books, musical instruments and a bright red MX5 on the drive is probably enough to divert her for a while.
Congratulations on the impending nuptials Ian, you kept that quiet
n2
"Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. The third time it's enemy action."
'Populism, the last refuge of a Tory scoundrel'.
Sorry to hear this Ian. Got no advice other than maybe her taking the higher moral ground and not lowering herself to initiating anything (although it's her stuff) time should work in her favour. He probably has them and as you or someone mentioned it's about control. I can see them being given back at some point when he's got over himself. Probably it's grating on him knowing your to marry also so any requests are being met by a brick wall.
Maybe an invite to the wedding ? No in all seriousness - don't
Sent via smoke signal using Tapatalk
That was a whirlwind romance Ian! Congratulations to you both
It’s terrible what some people do in bitterness.
I have just been asked for copy’s of my very few photos from a pal I served with in NI.
His ex wife has thrown or destroyed all his photographs and memorabilia, it’s like a whole part of his life has been removed.
He’s not saying much but I know he’s devasted.
I can only hope you can resolve this,is there any third party he is on good terms with that he might respond to?
Thanks gents!
I would invite you but its in Mauritius and I couldn't possibly drag you that far
Could you not send the son round one evening, with a letter/note something to say I have called to arrange a time to clear the boxes from the loft at a time to suit him.
With his updated details on it, all that sort of thing, assuming that he son hasn't got any sort of issues with him that is.
all else fails get round there with the lads and do him in !
my thoughts
Congratulations and good luck with the forthcoming marriage
Posting Permissions
