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Thread: Can I wear my auto while milking cows?

  1. #1
    Master inspector gadget's Avatar
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    Can I wear my auto while milking cows?

    A change in career could be on the cards for the near future and am currently thinking about becoming a milkman, obviously I will start off with just the one cow and one electric float, if anyone has sound advice on the pros and cons of such a scheme I would be thankful for your guidance. Asking for a friend.

    Gadget

  2. #2
    Master
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    Is there such a thing as a Milkman now a days. I haven't seen one of those float thingies in years. I think everyone just buys milk from the supermarket at a dirt cheap price.

  3. #3
    Craftsman
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mick P View Post
    Is there such a thing as a Milkman now a days. I haven't seen one of those float thingies in years. I think everyone just buys milk from the supermarket at a dirt cheap price.
    Funnily enough, I had someone hawking Milk & More at my doorstep the other day: seems very much like the milkman of yore. Can’t say I particularly see the attraction these days, but each to their own.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by threescoops View Post
    Funnily enough, I had someone hawking Milk & More at my doorstep the other day: seems very much like the milkman of yore. Can’t say I particularly see the attraction these days, but each to their own.
    A lot of houses are empty during the day, kids at school, parents at work etc. Milkman cannot drop the milk off at say 10.00am or the milk will be warm and rancid by the time a family member returns home. It looks a bit of a non starter to be honest.

  5. #5
    Craftsman
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    Quote Originally Posted by inspector gadget View Post
    ... thinking about becoming a milkman, obviously I will start off with just the one cow and one electric float, if anyone has sound advice...
    Gadget
    OP, I see that you are in Lincolnshire, and I presume that your ‘friend” is too.
    Your business venture is unlikely to succeed. You see, everyone in Lincs has a cow of their own. I understand thar this is the way of county folk.

    You will do better to set up a dairy within the M25. My research [based on a sample dof 1] suggests that no one within the Metropolitan area has seen a bovine beast. With such scarcity, you could command eleventy pounds per cup of your fine milk. Or at least, cop-off with the lady of the house.

    Good luck.

  6. #6
    Master
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    We get milk delivered twice a week.
    Eggs too so get a chicken.
    Its delivered about 2 in the morning so not left out in the heat.
    Idea is definitely a goer.

  7. #7
    Master RJM25R's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mick P View Post
    A lot of houses are empty during the day, kids at school, parents at work etc. Milkman cannot drop the milk off at say 10.00am or the milk will be warm and rancid by the time a family member returns home. It looks a bit of a non starter to be honest.
    Hmmmm

    Perhaps there’s a dual-career possibility. Maybe the OP could become a housebreaker too (whilst no-one is home during those hours) and it wouldn’t matter about your watch during the milking as you can just “add to your collection” on an ad-hoc basis.

  8. #8
    Master
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    Not sure about wearing your auto, but if you have a Fitbit or similar, I think you will be onto a winner

  9. #9

    Can I wear my auto while milking cows?

    Don’t wear an auto. The repetitive motion of the wrist is terrible for the movement. They are designed for the slow loop of a watch winder, or better still remaining in the box so you can neither scratch the watch nor wear out the movement.

    Suggest something with minimum 300pt MR, calcium release valve, and a soft absorbent leather strap.



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    Last edited by notenoughwrists; 15th October 2018 at 00:03.

  10. #10
    Omega Moo Watch
    Cowsio G-shock
    Pat-tek Phillipe

    All decent bovine-ready brands


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  11. #11
    Craftsman
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mick P View Post
    Is there such a thing as a Milkman now a days.
    It would be milkperson.

  12. #12
    Grand Master number2's Avatar
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    Has this something to do with the udders in the 'norks' thread?
    Last edited by number2; 15th October 2018 at 07:35.
    "Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. The third time it's enemy action."

    'Populism, the last refuge of a Tory scoundrel'.

  13. #13
    Grand Master Der Amf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by notenoughwrists View Post
    Suggest something with minimum 300pt MR, calcium release valve, and a soft absorbent leather strap.
    The sight of leather will turn the milk sour, bad idea

  14. #14
    I think it’ll be ok ,I’m always milking goats with mine


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  15. #15
    Master
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    Quote Originally Posted by notenoughwrists View Post
    calcium release valve,
    hehe

  16. #16
    Master inspector gadget's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mick P View Post
    Is there such a thing as a Milkman now a days. I haven't seen one of those float thingies in years. I think everyone just buys milk from the supermarket at a dirt cheap price.
    The supermarkets have destroyed our village corner shops and small outlets, I did consider a bakery but our local Morrisons now supply 'artisan bread' ...oh well I will put a business plan together and see if the numbers stack up..

    cheers

    Gadget

  17. #17
    Master
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    Pull the udder one

  18. #18
    Master
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mick P View Post
    Is there such a thing as a Milkman now a days. I haven't seen one of those float thingies in years. I think everyone just buys milk from the supermarket at a dirt cheap price.
    I get my milk delivered! The guy comes twice a week at 5AM....doesn't use an electric milk float but a rattly Transit that makes sure I wake up!

  19. #19
    Craftsman
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    Quote Originally Posted by Monkey Queen View Post
    OP, I see that you are in Lincolnshire, and I presume that your ‘friend” is too.
    Your business venture is unlikely to succeed. You see, everyone in Lincs has a cow of their own. I understand thar this is the way of county folk.

    You will do better to set up a dairy within the M25. My research [based on a sample dof 1] suggests that no one within the Metropolitan area has seen a bovine beast. With such scarcity, you could command eleventy pounds per cup of your fine milk. Or at least, cop-off with the lady of the house.

    Good luck.
    It's not so much whether he has a cow or not, we're a friendly lot here and often lend items of a farming nature, surely its about whether any selfwinding mechanical timepiece could cope with the stress. i personally would go for a Westclox in a nice see through re-cycled bag and wind it by hand

  20. #20
    Master Joe.K's Avatar
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    A Moovado would be my choice.

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  21. #21
    Master raptor's Avatar
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    Can we have a pic of the nipples involved???

  22. #22
    Craftsman trott3r's Avatar
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    Milk hatch for us northerners to have milk dropped off

  23. #23
    Master Yorkshiremadmick's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by inspector gadget View Post
    A change in career could be on the cards for the near future and am currently thinking about becoming a milkman, obviously I will start off with just the one cow and one electric float, if anyone has sound advice on the pros and cons of such a scheme I would be thankful for your guidance. Asking for a friend.

    Gadget


    This wouldn’t be your friend would it?



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  24. #24
    Grand Master Foxy100's Avatar
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    Wouldn't it be fresher and easier if you put the cow on the back of the float and milked it to order?
    "A man of little significance"

  25. #25
    Master inspector gadget's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Foxy100 View Post
    Wouldn't it be fresher and easier if you put the cow on the back of the float and milked it to order?
    Just when it seems the world is going bonkers we can always rely on the stalwarts at TZ-UK to come up with radical solutions for our 'internet ready' world.

    I can see it now, happily munching cud while supplying fresh milk and cream at the customers door, only too pleased to be free from the confines of the dairy farm.

    Easily franchised, float, cow and a years supply of turf and we are ready to rock and roll... happy days

    Gadget

  26. #26
    Quote Originally Posted by notenoughwrists View Post
    Omega Moo Watch
    Cowsio G-shock
    Pat-tek Phillipe

    All decent bovine-ready brands


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    I googled 'breeds of cow' in the hope of adding to this joke (couldn't). It lists, with pictures of the cows in question, many breeds of cattle, then gets to Japanese Brown and there is just a picture of a steak. :(

  27. #27
    Grand Master Foxy100's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by inspector gadget View Post
    Just when it seems the world is going bonkers we can always rely on the stalwarts at TZ-UK to come up with radical solutions for our 'internet ready' world.

    I can see it now, happily munching cud while supplying fresh milk and cream at the customers door, only too pleased to be free from the confines of the dairy farm.

    Easily franchised, float, cow and a years supply of turf and we are ready to rock and roll... happy days

    Gadget
    Everyone wants free range these days plus think of the savings if the customer provides their own containers.
    "A man of little significance"

  28. #28
    Master inspector gadget's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by doctorj View Post
    I googled 'breeds of cow' in the hope of adding to this joke (couldn't). It lists, with pictures of the cows in question, many breeds of cattle, then gets to Japanese Brown and there is just a picture of a steak. :(
    It seems Holstein Fresians give 25/50L per day or Jerseys give 12/25L per day, that seems like a lot of cow for not a lot of milk returned per day! and supermarkets sell it for £1.50 per litre ....how do our farmers survive?

    Our local Japanese restaurant have wagyu beef on the menu, apparently the cow gets to drink Saki and is massaged daily before meeting the end customer so to speak but at least it had a lovely time up until then.

    Another 'friend' of mine has a few cattle, I shall make a few enquiries as to the possibility of getting one of the ladies 'up the duff' and ready to pilot the project (assuming it is fit for purpose) Now to find a catchy moniker for the brand...

    Gadge

  29. #29
    Master Templogin's Avatar
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    We use so much milk in this country, perhaps we should have a third tap in the kitchen? In summer the tap would dispense yoghurt, in the winter, ice-cream.

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