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Thread: Pot smoking neighbour

  1. #1
    Master wildheart's Avatar
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    Pot smoking neighbour

    My partner is losing patience with my pot smoking neighbours. Its been made worse with the warm weather, having to have the windows open. We live in a terrace.
    He's a throat cancer survivor (last year) but smokes very strong marijuana throughout the night and day. His wife a nurse is also a heavy smoker but only Tabs. The daughter also smokes pot at the front of the house.
    Our bedroom reeks of the stuff if we leave the windows open at night.
    They are lovely neighbours but massive pot heads, he does not work and at 62 I doubt he will again. Smoking pot seems to be his only pleasure.

    How do I appease my partner ?

    Have a quiet word with my neighbour and risk escalating the issue?
    Do nothing and close the windows?
    Let her go round and we have a massive fall out with the neighbours?

  2. #2
    Grand Master number2's Avatar
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    Call the police.
    "Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. The third time it's enemy action."

  3. #3
    Iím really anti drugs and it pisses me off when people openly smoke weed. A lot of them treat it as though itís totally legal when it isnít.

  4. #4
    Master
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    Go and have a quiet word with him. Calling the police without talking to them first will cause a lot more friction than that potentially caused by just having a chat.

  5. #5
    Master wileeeeeey's Avatar
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    God that sounds like a shit situation

  6. #6
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    I'd go round and explain the impact it's having on your life. Put it in the really practical way you have here; can't open windows, house smells etc. Tell him you don't mind him smoking it at all so long as it doesn't have an impact on you i.e. he does it in the house.

    I wouldn't mention the Police at this stage.

    If it stops, brilliant. If it doesn't after two weeks (a reasonable period of time) then go round again and tell him that nothing's changed and if it doesn't stop now you'll involve the Police.

    It's about protecting yourself and being able to show a course of action that was reasonable. No point steaming in and causing a long-term problem.

    Good luck.

  7. #7
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    Are you their only neighbour.? If not call the police, they donít have to know it was you.

  8. #8
    Grand Master oldoakknives's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pitfitter View Post
    Are you their only neighbour.? If not call the police, they donít have to know it was you.
    This. Or if they rent contact the landlord.
    Fast is fine, but accuracy is everything.

  9. #9
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    The police won't do anything for someone smoking it.

    The guy next door has got 3 sheds glowing blue.

    Not that it makes you feel any better but rather weed then cigarettes. They smell much worse.

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by JPCain86 View Post
    The police won't do anything for someone smoking it.

    The guy next door has got 3 sheds glowing blue.

    Not that it makes you feel any better but rather weed then cigarettes. They smell much worse.
    Likewise idiotic vapers.

  11. #11
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    I'd rather smell pot than fags. I had somebody light up next to me when I was warming up for a bike race last night. He was about 20 feet away but I was downwind from him. I asked him to move away. He was quite shocked that I might find breathing his smoke offensive.

  12. #12
    Master
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    Quote Originally Posted by hafle View Post
    Go and have a quiet word with him. Calling the police without talking to them first will cause a lot more friction than that potentially caused by just having a chat.
    This. Explain the problem that it causes you, and ask him to do it elsewhere on his property.

    Pete

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by TaketheCannoli View Post
    I'd go round and explain the impact it's having on your life. Put it in the really practical way you have here; can't open windows, house smells etc. Tell him you don't mind him smoking it at all so long as it doesn't have an impact on you i.e. he does it in the house.

    I wouldn't mention the Police at this stage.

    If it stops, brilliant. If it doesn't after two weeks (a reasonable period of time) then go round again and tell him that nothing's changed and if it doesn't stop now you'll involve the Police.

    It's about protecting yourself and being able to show a course of action that was reasonable. No point steaming in and causing a long-term problem.

    Good luck.
    This sounds spot on. Police are overstretched as it is and a couple of people smoking at their property isn't going to get the drug squad round, maybe they'll have a word, but most likely not. The amount of times I've called to grass on minor criminality and been told it'll be logged on the system, but likely not be dealt with is infuriating.

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  14. #14
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    The Police will do diddly squat - they can't even be arsed to come round when you've been burgled nowadays. You said they're lovely neighbours so a polite word should be enough if you explain it in the way you have below.

  15. #15
    Grand Master Foxy100's Avatar
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    My ex-next door neighbour is a policeman on a different force, where we used to live we had students backing onto our gardens and they smoked weed all the time. The policeman kept shouting at them, he tried contacting the landlord and called the local police but no one did anything about it. Didn't bother me at all but I can see why it would other people.

    I'd also go round and have a word.
    You can live in your car but you can't drive your house.

  16. #16
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    Our neighbors are the same and smoke a lot of grass but I must admit the smell is only outside rather than inside so doesn't really bother me.

    I definitely suggest having a friendly chat when the them, you may find they'll be more embarrassed than annoyed.

  17. #17
    Master
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    For me the priority relationship here is the one with your partner, not with your neighbour. She's raised an issue with you and wants to see you do something about it. On the basis of building a relationship that both she and you feel safe and protected in, and able to show frustration and vulnerability, I believe you should be talking to your neighbour. In my opinion not doing so could show a lack of empathy or willingness to act on her needs, and to look after her. In that I don't mean in a protective, childish way, but in a grown up way where both people feel heard and understood. If you go round and all hell breaks loose with the neighbour, at least you would go through that journey together and she will know you stood up for her needs. She would likely be proud of you. In the long term that is what you both would remember and talk about, not the fact that you either did nothing and she felt unheard or she went round and didn't see you show up and do it for her.

    There is no need for conflict with the neighbour, it takes two parties to have an argument. Simply state your concerns to them, ask them nicely to modify their behaviour and see where it goes from there. I hope it goes well

  18. #18
    Master
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    Some good advice here. If your neighbours are decent as you suggest theyíll probably be upset that theyíre upsetting your Mrs and sort it out. I went through a period recently where my (very nice) neighbours dog would bark persistently when she was out which wound me up. I bought it up in a positive and friendly manner and between us we got it sorted - everybody now happy (including the dog!).

  19. #19
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    The advice to call the police is a waste of time. They will do absolutely nothing unless they are growing a crop inside their house.

    Best just to have a word or even better start going down and sharing it with him !

  20. #20
    Get him something stronger.

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by number2 View Post
    Call the police.
    +1
    End of, no way would I suffer that.

  22. #22
    Master
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    Suppose your going to have to find out if they really are decent neighbours.

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Peck View Post
    Some good advice here. If your neighbours are decent as you suggest theyíll probably be upset that theyíre upsetting your Mrs and sort it out. I went through a period recently where my (very nice) neighbours dog would bark persistently when she was out which wound me up. I bought it up in a positive and friendly manner and between us we got it sorted - everybody now happy (including the dog!).
    This. However I suspect (from the little I know of them :)) they will most likely keep doing it even if they do say they'll do it elsewhere. Incredibly frustrating how inconsiderate people are, but not much you can do about it. I'd be looking for a new place to live to get as far away from the situation as possible.


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  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kingstepper View Post
    Get him something stronger.
    Yes, get him hooked on heroine. He wonít have the money for pot and the smell will be gone!


    The cigarette smoke would be the worst thing for me though, some fags are just so rank. If itís that bad and close then the weed is probably not even the worst of it. God knows how people can even afford to blumin smoke these days, must have to be earning a fortune to have a cigarette habit.

    Not sure what to suggest but the police wonít care. Talking to him wonít help as theyíre all obviously hooked and not exactly going to say ďoh sorry, weíll stop smokingĒ

    Rubbish situation.

    I was at a party Saturday night and took the kids outside a couple of times and the front entrance was just swarming with people stood there smoking. Jeez itís so rank and even just nipping through a few times it gets onto your clothes!

    My GFís mum & dad bought us these fancy hand made Xmas gift hamper type things made by a friend of theirs. I took two of them back home and was sat in my lounge thinking god I can smell stale old smoke, queue constant clothes sniffing etc. Turned out was these hamper things, Iíd left them on the stairs and my god they were impregnated with stale smoke smell. I opened one (clear wrapped and hand tied bow) and the stench was unreal it made me reach. They were full of wrapped chocolates and stuff and I unwrapped some of the chocolate and even they stank to high heaven. I took them both out and binned them! No surprise to find out the woman chain smokes all day and had no doubt had them being made up in her house for days/weeks before Xmas

  25. #25
    Craftsman
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    They probably don't realise how far the smell travels and will be embarrassed about it. They won't stop smoking but with any luck they will at least be more considerate about it

    You could also suggest edibles :)

  26. #26
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    Calling the Police is a bit over the top , have a word when he's stoned , he will understand, i'm sure you could both work something out, Could he be growing his own ? if so you might be doing him a favour regarding the smell . The Police don't care about weed these days unless its a large grow farm that is .

  27. #27
    Journeyman
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    Quote Originally Posted by wildheart View Post
    My partner is losing patience with my pot smoking neighbours. Its been made worse with the warm weather, having to have the windows open. We live in a terrace.
    He's a throat cancer survivor (last year) but smokes very strong marijuana throughout the night and day. His wife a nurse is also a heavy smoker but only Tabs. The daughter also smokes pot at the front of the house.
    Our bedroom reeks of the stuff if we leave the windows open at night.
    They are lovely neighbours but massive pot heads, he does not work and at 62 I doubt he will again. Smoking pot seems to be his only pleasure.

    How do I appease my partner ?

    Have a quiet word with my neighbour and risk escalating the issue?
    Do nothing and close the windows?
    Let her go round and we have a massive fall out with the neighbours?
    Leave the bloke alone. Smells great !
    Could be curry.

  28. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by hilly10 View Post
    +1
    End of, no way would I suffer that.
    Prize pompous pratt !
    Get a life

  29. #29
    Master bond's Avatar
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    To the OP, we have the same issue at my house but unfortunately the pot smells eminate from both sides of our houses. My wife sorely despises it . She makes no bones when smells it and I'm certain they can hear her dismay.

    We suspect , in fact it's not suspicion that we and another family are the only non weed smoking family on a block of about 20 houses. I can accuse my neighbor this side or that side but depending on the downwind I'll never be surely sure who it's came from . In the end I just realised that weed is the new prohibition ale of the modern era. It's huge and not going to be stopping anytime soon. The very fact that all the pot smokers have young children , hold down respectable jobs yet it seems they bypass themselves on the law on this one by being blatant in the consumption of it , saddens me no end. But what can I do, argue with all of them over personal consumption in their own castle ? At least you have one and they sound fairly approachable. I'd have a word if your wife is ill though first and see if you can come to some agreement.

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  30. #30
    Grand Master oldoakknives's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by paul staines View Post
    Prize pompous pratt !
    Get a life
    Why should people have to put up with the stink of pot? I wouldn't either. So guess I must be a 'pompous pratt' as well.
    Fast is fine, but accuracy is everything.

  31. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by bond View Post
    To the OP, we have the same issue at my house but unfortunately the pot smells eminate from both sides of our houses. My wife sorely despises it . She makes no bones when smells it and I'm certain they can hear her dismay.

    We suspect , in fact it's not suspicion that we and another family are the only non weed smoking family on a block of about 20 houses. I can accuse my neighbor this side or that side but depending on the downwind I'll never be surely sure who it's came from . In the end I just realised that weed is the new prohibition ale of the modern era. It's huge and not going to be stopping anytime soon. The very fact that all the pot smokers have young children , hold down respectable jobs yet it seems they bypass themselves on the law on this one by being blatant in the consumption of it , saddens me no end. But what can I do, argue with all of them over personal consumption in their own castle ? At least you have one and they sound fairly approachable. I'd have a word if your wife is ill though first and see if you can come to some agreement.

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    Wonder how many of them are still driving when under the influence, isnít it as bad as drink driving conviction?

    The guy near me that smokes it happily drives about.

    It does seem rather popular these days, thereís going to be a lot of paranoid, manic people about in the future. It wonít be long before itís legalised here like a lot of the US, once the government see some statistics from the US economy in relation and know itís happening regardless itíll be like other drugs we are allowed as long as we pay a lot of tax for them.

  32. #32
    Grand Master number2's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by oldoakknives View Post
    Why should people have to put up with the stink of pot? I wouldn't either. So guess I must be a 'pompous pratt' as well.
    Me too
    "Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. The third time it's enemy action."

  33. #33
    No different to barbecues, curries, cat repellent, petrol fumes, cigarettes, bonfires etc.

    Yes, might be illegal but not because of the smell.

  34. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by oldoakknives View Post
    Why should people have to put up with the stink of pot? I wouldn't either. So guess I must be a 'pompous pratt' as well.
    I feel the same when I get a face full of Strawberry vape out side the boozer ..but that's allowed .

  35. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by jameswrx View Post
    Wonder how many of them are still driving when under the influence, isnít it as bad as drink driving conviction?

    The guy near me that smokes it happily drives about.

    It does seem rather popular these days, thereís going to be a lot of paranoid, manic people about in the future. It wonít be long before itís legalised here like a lot of the US, once the government see some statistics from the US economy in relation and know itís happening regardless itíll be like other drugs we are allowed as long as we pay a lot of tax for them.
    Paranoid and manic are the type of spin that's been said for years and it's all just nonsense.

    Yes if someone who was already prone to manic episodes smokes weed all day it won't be great for them but the majority will be super chilled on it.

    Everyone accepts the booze as ok yet booze causes absolute murder and compare to weed is off the charts.

    Before anyone says well booze is ok because it's legal etc well it shouldn't be based on the results of it on the general population.

  36. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivan Drago View Post
    Before anyone says well booze is ok because it's legal etc well it shouldn't be based on the results of it on the general population.
    Yep, make alcohol illegal.

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  37. #37
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    Curious how many people hate the smell purely because it's an illegal drug. It is strong, sure, but so is rosemary,curry,bbq smoke, and so on. Its hardly an obnoxious smell.

  38. #38
    Master
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivan Drago View Post
    Paranoid and manic are the type of spin that's been said for years and it's all just nonsense.

    Yes if someone who was already prone to manic episodes smokes weed all day it won't be great for them but the majority will be super chilled on it.

    Everyone accepts the booze as ok yet booze causes absolute murder and compare to weed is off the charts.

    Before anyone says well booze is ok because it's legal etc well it shouldn't be based on the results of it on the general population.
    Yep, was expecting that response as soon as I posted...

    Just my experience of people I know that are now in their 50ís that smoked heavily (and I mean heavy) for years who Iíve watched change over the last 25 years. Maybe not a perfect cross section but itís my personal opinion (and the people who are living with it) that heavy weed use will fry your brain. Of course some people will tell us theyíre sharp as a tack and studies show a spliff a day makes you Einstein but youíve only got to converse with your average dope head to know that must be a very small percentage of the users.

    And you wonít see an argument from me on the alcohol quote, I gave up drinking 20 years ago.

  39. #39
    Master robcuk's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hafle View Post
    Curious how many people hate the smell purely because it's an illegal drug. It is strong, sure, but so is rosemary,curry,bbq smoke, and so on. Its hardly an obnoxious smell.
    Yes, it is, I live in the Netherlands and itís just as bad here :-(
    Actually itís worse as the tourists sit for hours in the coffee shops then go stumbling out, trailing the vile smell as they go.

  40. #40
    Grand Master
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    Try reverse psychology, go round next time you smell it and just say 'two's up mate', after a few times he'll avoid smoking it anywhere near you as nobody likes having to share their gear, you can also start playing a bit of Bob Marley, or pass the dutchie whenever you get a faint whiff, they'll be putting them out in no time!

  41. #41
    Grand Master oldoakknives's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Owl1 View Post
    I feel the same when I get a face full of Strawberry vape out side the boozer ..but that's allowed .
    Perhaps if a neighbour was doing it next to your house, so you could smell it every day you might not like it?
    Fast is fine, but accuracy is everything.

  42. #42
    Grand Master oldoakknives's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hafle View Post
    Curious how many people hate the smell purely because it's an illegal drug. It is strong, sure, but so is rosemary,curry,bbq smoke, and so on. Its hardly an obnoxious smell.
    One mans meat...........
    Fast is fine, but accuracy is everything.

  43. #43
    Grand Master oldoakknives's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jameswrx View Post
    Yep, was expecting that response as soon as I posted...

    Just my experience of people I know that are now in their 50ís that smoked heavily (and I mean heavy) for years who Iíve watched change over the last 25 years. Maybe not a perfect cross section but itís my personal opinion (and the people who are living with it) that heavy weed use will fry your brain. Of course some people will tell us theyíre sharp as a tack and studies show a spliff a day makes you Einstein but youíve only got to converse with your average dope head to know that must be a very small percentage of the users.

    And you wonít see an argument from me on the alcohol quote, I gave up drinking 20 years ago.
    They call it 'dope' for a reason.
    Fast is fine, but accuracy is everything.

  44. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by robcuk View Post
    Yes, it is, I live in the Netherlands and itís just as bad here :-(
    Actually itís worse as the tourists sit for hours in the coffee shops then go stumbling out, trailing the vile smell as they go.
    But what is actually vile about it? It's a flower, and just smells like it, floral and pungent, it's not like it stinks of sewage or such.

  45. #45
    Master Mouse's Avatar
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    Interesting discussion. I'd throw in my two scents worth but...........:-/

  46. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mouse View Post
    Interesting discussion. I'd throw in my two scents worth but...........:-/
    Puff puff, pass

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  47. #47
    Master chrisb's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hafle View Post
    But what is actually vile about it? It's a flower, and just smells like it, floral and pungent, it's not like it stinks of sewage or such.
    But it may (allegedly) cause you to fail a drugs test at work.

  48. #48
    Quote Originally Posted by chrisb View Post
    But it may (allegedly) cause you to fail a drugs test at work.
    Is it that bad for OP?

  49. #49
    Master senwar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by paul staines View Post
    Prize pompous pratt !
    Get a life
    What a truly bizarre reply

  50. #50
    Master chrisb's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kingstepper View Post
    Is it that bad for OP?
    No idea, is he or his partner employed?
    One of our plant operatives was dismissed for failing a random test.
    It was subsequently proved to have been caused by breathing second hand smoke at a party, unfortunately that was no good for him as the contract had finished in the six months it took to prove it.

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