... You really fancy treating yourself to a new rotary drier for the garden
... You really fancy treating yourself to a new rotary drier for the garden
Good luck everybody. Have a good one.
...you want slippers for xmas.
...you wish that your old lawn-mower would just give up and die, so you can buy a new (better) one.
"Getting lucky" means remembering what you went into the kitchen for when you get there.
...... You understand the 'nut bra' ad on YouTube
you never pass a toilet
That's just happened to me without even wishing for it.Originally Posted by Maysie
I was told middle aged men should never pass a toilet, never trust a fart and never waste an errection!
You wish you didn't have a lawn in the first place
Best Regards - Peter
I'd hate to be with you when you're on your own.
Other people want to buy you slippers for xmas
...when you get excited looking at the Weber BBQ section at the garden centre.
Doctors all look like Doogie Howser
you interview someone for a job and are shocked and a bit disturbed to discover their year of birth starts with a 2 (not that you can ask of course!
. . . when your penis tattoo has been reading LUDO for as long as you can remember, and it's several hours before you recall that it used to do LLANDUDNO as well . . .
F.T.F.A.
Have to undo the waist band of your trousers when you take a leak!
Last edited by wildheart; 22nd June 2018 at 08:41.
Phase 1
When you feel that washed out greys and autumnal colours are more your style.
Phase 2
You browse the ads for those straight cut high-waisted trousers from the 1950s and instead of laughing, think they look smart.
Phase 3
Light-coloured trousers become off-limits in case of accidents.
Mine now reads Loch,
it used to read Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyndrobwlllantasiliogo gogoch
Best Regards - Peter
I'd hate to be with you when you're on your own.
One from this morning; you remember when Matey was a bubble bath.
You also remember the black water line left after you’d had a bath.
Just put a new one up this morning (a Brabantia Top Spinner, if any enthusiasts are reading). Possibly the most exciting thing I've done this month!
______
Jim.
You drive any more than 20 minutes and when you get out you’re all achy for a few seconds.
When your definition of 'an all-nighter' changes to become getting a decent nights sleep without waking up for a slash.
You strike a conversation between first and second time
Fas est ab hoste doceri
You find hair growing on top of and from your ears.
You keep random broken old crap, because......that might come in handy. 😃
When you pick up”Stuff” magazine and realise you aren’t interested in any of the contents.
When you send texts you send them in full English, no abbreviations, and go back to check the grammar is correct before sending.
(Brilliant thread by the way!)
So clever my foot fell off.
I was thinking of going for a hills rotary 6.
But then, as we know, it's all about the ground spike.
Good luck everybody. Have a good one.
I've got one too, they're great, perfect for days like today (in the Midlands anyway)
What on earth is a rotary drier, or a top spinner?
Love the thread btw
It's just a matter of time...
..you feel strangely attracted to the Wilko Pick 'n' Mix of screws and fasteners.........
ook
Mate. Don't worry about it. It's something the butler or valet would know about. That's all you need to know.
Good luck everybody. Have a good one.
Everything is just too damn loud, everything.
And that territorial thing you do when local kids kick a ball into front garden or someone parks across my drive.....apparently I have an angry face just for those specific circumstances
Next step, waving fists at passing cars....like my dad.
When you respond to this post saying I’ve got one of those and it’s excelent quality... I’d recommend the metal spear to drive into the ground to support as it works rather well...
When you catch yourself admiring their hanging baskets on your way into the pub.
I nearly got in a fight the other day telling two idiots who had a crash that children play in the area, lots of bad language and arm waving, but the middle age man part was when I realised I had my slippers in my hand whilst having the barny!
I cant sit here typing all night as I have some plants to water..
...a nice comfortable Volvo car seems like a sensible proposition.
z
DateJusts on Jubilee bracelets start to look appealing.
You can’t get out of a chair without either groaning or passing wind.
When you get a hip fracture after a fart
EFA
Your new toys is an impact driver
You consider going to the post office to post a watch to a forum member as a "busy weekend."
Sent from my iPhone using TZ-UK mobile app
....when, you sit on your testicles when sitting down,
To be fair, that is still a more preferable scenario to my mind than sitting on someone else's testicles.
Good luck everybody. Have a good one.
start to look forward to your afternoon nap
And your spam folder almost entirely consists of funeral plan options and viagra offers
When the ‘milfs’ and ‘matures’ on porn sites look younger than you.
When plucking nasal hair feels like a daily occurrence.
when you can remember white dog s**t
you look at a stick and think i must keep that for stirring paint.
When you bend down to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
The amount of times you get up to pee in the night is about a third of the hours you sleep...
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
I came into this thread to post something.
Can’t remember what it was. Give me a mo...
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