Reply With Quote...you want slippers for xmas.
... You really fancy treating yourself to a new rotary drier for the garden
Good luck everybody. Have a good one.
...you want slippers for xmas.
...you wish that your old lawn-mower would just give up and die, so you can buy a new (better) one.
"Getting lucky" means remembering what you went into the kitchen for when you get there.
...... You understand the 'nut bra' ad on YouTube
you never pass a toilet
One from this morning; you remember when Matey was a bubble bath.
You also remember the black water line left after you’d had a bath.
Originally Posted by seikopath
Just put a new one up this morning (a Brabantia Top Spinner, if any enthusiasts are reading). Possibly the most exciting thing I've done this month!
______
Jim.
You can’t get out of a chair without either groaning or passing wind.
You drive any more than 20 minutes and when you get out you’re all achy for a few seconds.
When your definition of 'an all-nighter' changes to become getting a decent nights sleep without waking up for a slash.
You strike a conversation between first and second time
Fas est ab hoste doceri
You find hair growing on top of and from your ears.
You find yourself singing along to Toto and Journey.
You know you are getting old when you watch a porn film and think.......that bed looks comfy!!
you know you are getting old when you walk past a stick and think........ I will keep that for stirring paint.
Chopsticks from the local Chinese are a must as well...(obviously after the Chow Mein)..
Other people want to buy you slippers for xmas
...when you get excited looking at the Weber BBQ section at the garden centre.
Doctors all look like Doogie Howser
I was thinking of going for a hills rotary 6.
But then, as we know, it's all about the ground spike.
Good luck everybody. Have a good one.
When your reflexes aren't fast enough to operate a stopwatch to capture the time the mrs gets into bed and in one motion manages to get to sleep, with the self-service bedroom buffet menu consisting of cold shoulder roll(over) again...
The motorbikes and sporty cars you've always had when due for the latest replacement are now labelled "crisis mobiles"
The hairdresser trims not only your ear hair but the random crap that is now your eye-brows...
Your taste buds need more spice, your exit portal does not and you dare not raise a cheek in case of major follow through...
You are very close to target demographic of funeral service insurance...know who Parkie is...and are even considering taking out a policy as seems the right thing to do
You develop a hangover whilst you are still drinking...you're only a couple in and a soft (non-fizzy) drink is your chaser...
You can detect changes in the weather before anyone else due to the thinning in the loft...and sunscreen on combed in on sunny days is a must
When you get a hip fracture after a fart
EFA
Your new toys is an impact driver
That's just happened to me without even wishing for it.
I was told middle aged men should never pass a toilet, never trust a fart and never waste an errection!
I've got one too, they're great, perfect for days like today (in the Midlands anyway)
What on earth is a rotary drier, or a top spinner?
Love the thread btw
It's just a matter of time...
..you feel strangely attracted to the Wilko Pick 'n' Mix of screws and fasteners.........
ook
Mate. Don't worry about it. It's something the butler or valet would know about. That's all you need to know.
Good luck everybody. Have a good one.
Everything is just too damn loud, everything.
And that territorial thing you do when local kids kick a ball into front garden or someone parks across my drive.....apparently I have an angry face just for those specific circumstances
Next step, waving fists at passing cars....like my dad.
You consider going to the post office to post a watch to a forum member as a "busy weekend."
Sent from my iPhone using TZ-UK mobile app
When you respond to this post saying I’ve got one of those and it’s excelent quality... I’d recommend the metal spear to drive into the ground to support as it works rather well...
When you catch yourself admiring their hanging baskets on your way into the pub.
I nearly got in a fight the other day telling two idiots who had a crash that children play in the area, lots of bad language and arm waving, but the middle age man part was when I realised I had my slippers in my hand whilst having the barny!
I cant sit here typing all night as I have some plants to water..
...a nice comfortable Volvo car seems like a sensible proposition.
z
DateJusts on Jubilee bracelets start to look appealing.
What was the question?
Fas est ab hoste doceri
Who needs to know the question when putin has got all the answers??
Good luck everybody. Have a good one.
.... you consider the merits of slip-ons and / or a shoe horn.
Who've put in and why you all here?!
Fas est ab hoste doceri
Oh crap 💩....
See my recent thread “warming to Datejust”!!!
....when, you sit on your testicles when sitting down,
To be fair, that is still a more preferable scenario to my mind than sitting on someone else's testicles.
Good luck everybody. Have a good one.
start to look forward to your afternoon nap
And your spam folder almost entirely consists of funeral plan options and viagra offers
When the ‘milfs’ and ‘matures’ on porn sites look younger than you.
When plucking nasal hair feels like a daily occurrence.
when you can remember white dog s**t
you look at a stick and think i must keep that for stirring paint.
When you bend down to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
.... find it much harder to get back up ?
z
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