Think I’m Done

[Topcat30093]

Darren, I have already posted on your original post.
But please let me echo the words of many of our members who have already expressed their condolences, by passing on my own to you, your family and friends.
I have three lovely daughters and 3 beautiful Grandsons, who make me smile each time I see them.
I hope that riding the bike brings you the peace that you seek and time to remember all the wonderful times that you all had with your son.

[seikopath]

I know three sets of parents whose kids have taken their own lives. This thing is incredibly prevalent these days, and especially amongst young men.

I can't imagine what that must be like. It is every parents worst nightmare.

Grief can be very hard to cope with, but especially so in this sort of situation. Three months is so very very recent and it must take a long time to come to terms with this sort of thing. Have you thought about finding a specific grief peer support group? I think that might be extremely helpful. I had a quick look online and found 'compassionate friends' which is for grieving parents of children https://www.tcf.org.uk/ and bereavement uk also have a Facebook group for parents who have lost children. I am sure there will also be other groups in your local area as well.

I have some very good friends who lost their son at a similar age, in a similar way. If you wish i can ask them if they would talk to you about it. This happened five or six years ago now, so they are some way down the line.


One thing i would say though, is don't blame yourself Darren in any way, shape or form. Sometimes people make decisions and do things that we have very little control over, if any at all. The issue is that as parents we will naturally feel responsible for what our children do.


The poignancy of your post being made on fathers day was not lost on me. My heart goes out to you Darren and you and your family. I am sure that you will always find a sounding board on tz if you ever need to express anything.

Please take care of yourself mate and you can always ping me if you just need a pair of ears. best wishes. Dave

[mycroft]

Only just seen this thread, Darren, and can only add my voice to the others here by saying how sad I am to read of your loss and the dreadful circumstances of it. My deepest condolences to you and your family.

Of course, watches or anything else are totally unimportant compared to family.

Ride safe.

Simon

[SiSetts]

Very sorry for your loss. So sad.
Ride safe. Stay safe.

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[dejjl]

So so sorry to hear this. MH is a feature of school life like never before.

Take care of yourself.

David

[Raffe]

No parent should ever have to suffer the loss of one of their children. So cruel.

My condolences.

[200mwaterresistant]

It's not often I tell my partner about threads on TZ-UK because it's all quite a bore to her, but I told her about this one and choked up trying to talk.

Very moving, and our thoughts are both with you.

I lost my niece 20 years ago. Due to my bizarre family, my brother is old enough to be my dad so my niece was only 3 years younger than me and my best friend in the world. I still think about her every day.

It does get easier, but you still miss them.

All the best mate. Take your time and look after yourself, he wouldn't want to see you unhappy.

[JackW]

Only just read this. I'm so very sorry for your loss. Stay strong, and my deepest condolences to you and yours.

[Umbongo]

As with another poster, l read this post to my wife and the last three lines completely choked me up...

...my deepest condolences.

[Chicken Pox]

Don't have the words beyond what has already been said, other than thank you for being strong enough to share your thoughts. Please keep talking to those close to you. Take care.

[Speedy2254]

Deepest condolences. Brave & eloquent posts indeed.

[jukeboxs]

Life can be so cruel. So sorry for your loss. May you find peace in the times ahead.

[lenlec]

I read all your post then the last bit stunned me
Hope you stay strong. Life is so cruel at times

[wolfeyes1974]

Sorry to hear that...take care

[ged]

Not being a father, I can't imagine the turmoil you have experienced. I can relate to that movement to find peace, mine is walking, so enjoy the motorbike. All my sympathies

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[gray]

So sorry to hear of your loss.
I hope you can take comfort in memories of happier times.

[Bootsy]

So sorry to read this. My thoughts are with you and yours.

[degsey]

I can't begin to imagine how you feel at the moment but as a father myself I know it must break your heart.

I have also been a biker for around 40 years so I know the feeling you get out on the road. It can be therapeutic.

I m so very sorry to hear about your loss.

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[Murdoc]

Sorry for your loss.

[zanderpants]

I have three sons all around this age, I cannot imagine what you are going though and I have no words....... literally no words.........

My sincerest condolences!


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[tz-uk73]

Awful to read this, and I'm so very sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what you and your family must be experiencing. look after yourself and take each day as it comes. All the best, thinking of you and your family.

[robinsongreen68]

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I hope your new pastime brings you some sort of peace.

[SuperC]

I cannot imagine how this loss has left you with a big hole, that will never ever be filled again. My deepest condolences and sympathy. Being a father of two, this is my worst nightmare. Life indeed can be cruel. Sorry for your loss.

[sweets]

This is not what I expected, clicking on this thread.
I am very sorry for your loss, you and your family have my deepest sympathies.
I am glad that you are finding something that engages your attention at this difficult time, good luck to you, and all the best Darren.
I still own a watch you sold on to me in 2013
Dave

[gregory]

Darren... thank you for sharing your thoughts and ponderings with us.

It can't have been easy... so I thank you for doing so and may I offer my condolences on your loss.


I use the words 'thank you' above... as sometimes we get lost up in life, the rat race, all kinds of things... all things that really don't matter. So today I think you showed us what is important. A small insight and reminder of things that are / are not important. I salute you sir... and your family.

Best wishes for you and yours... and your future.



And I hope you stay here with us. :)



Greg.

[adg31]

Your loss is truly awful and your pain can hardly be imagined - I hope that you come through the valley with the love of family and friends.


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[Wolfie]

So sorry to hear of the loss of your son…. I am at a complete loss to know what to say…. My heart really does go out to you…

Take Care,
Ben

[andy tims]

Very sorry to hear of your loss. I've just lost my Mum, but to lose a child. I can hardly imagine how hard that must be.

[ghu1967]

Darren, I don’t know you, and can’t even begin to imagine the pain and suffering you and your family must be going through, so to say my thoughts are with you won’t mean much from a total stranger. But they are, and I hope you can find strength to get through what must be dark days. Such terribly sad news.


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[Griswold]

I'm so sorry to hear of your tragic loss Darren, my deepest condolences go out to you, I can't imagine how devastated you must feel.

I sit typing this with my late father's pocket watch on my desk, it brings back so many treasured memories of the happy times we had each time I look at it; I hope that your son's watch will be the same for you once the pain of losing him subsides and that it reminds you of all the happy times you spent together. It's strange how the least expensive watch can be the most precious and puts our hobby into clear perspective.

Enjoy the bike, take care.

[davidj54]

Sorry to read of your loss OP. I recently attended the funeral of a friends 10 year old son, and it was the most heartbreaking thing I have ever known. As a parent the natural response is to put yourself in the other parents shoes, at which point you quickly jump out again as its too awful to fully contemplate. Must've taken a lot to write your article, you have my respect - and my sincerest condolences.