I think you need to check in with your GP and gets some real advice on how to cope with this. He / she might ask you to undertake a course of therapy or CBT ( Cognetive Behaviour Therapy ) which enables you to thrash out your issues verbally. For some this works, for others it does not. Medication alone may work fine, your GP will asses you to see which one will suit you better.
It's good to talk about the issue's that your having , but it also helps to talk to strangers just as well imo.
Mental Health issue's are so complex and form in differant ways. Don't think your weak by asking for help, your not as you have taken a big step by putting it out on this sub forum, which shows that you have strenght and proffesionalism and sharing your problem.
Showing your emotion is normal in MH,but go and seek help before it gets any worse, and don't let it beat you, it will ONLY if you let it. Think of your family and freinds who are there to support you through this.
Good luck.
Jon.
Thank you for the reply. When I started this journey to fight this I did this with a visit to my GP and found him to be incredibly helpful and supportive and I have kept that channel open for me if I want it.Originally Posted by MADDOG
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9YRj...ature=youtu.be
Absolutely brilliant. What a mantra. Should be watched EVERY morning!!!
My kids (4 altogether) a similar age say these things to me quite regularly especially at bedtime. They are very astute children with life and death I think . I lost some close ones in 2017 ( nan,uncle and sister in law) and my kids are conscious of time . I think your children and wife are your new backbone or support network of sorts . I say that in no way to bereft or demean how much your parents were the constant in your life. I really hope you get through it with time . You have to be strong for yourself and your family mate
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When I say strong for your family , I don't mean Mr Stoic neither or the stiff upper lip stance.
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You will beat this my friend as you recognise that you need help and are getting help, engage with all the services and get all the help you can. CBT really works.
I have posted on the thread before about my situation and the fact the anxiety that I had suffered all my life but was managed had recently got worse, I started reading how to learn to cope with the effects of it and practicing mindfulness, my anxiety is now completely under my control, it still comes but I have learned techniques to have control over it.
I started to deal with my problem as I could see my eldest son who is very like me in every way was starting to suffer like I have when I was young and I realised I needed to change my behaviour, way of dealing with things and my coping strategies to help my self so I could help him a few years ago.
This does not replace getting professional help, I should have done this years ago, but I did not and it he’s took me longer to get a handle on my problems. Do not try and do it alone, you do not need to.
I lost my marriage though my in ability to get a handle on things a few years ago, my wife left in the summer after a 27 year relationship (20 year marriage) because over the years my mood and anxiety had an affect on close family, we never argued and we never fight but due to the stress of my job and dealing with looking after my mums complex mental health problems following the death of my dad, who we all loved, I lost my spark and my way of centring my self.
I was not a calm person, I went quiet but I a temper that I can and do control and my wife felt because I was controlled and controlling, I was quite scary and it is not healthy to scare people. Suppressing anger is important in my life and job, but caused more anxiety, by practicing exercise and going out a on my cycle and attacking the biggest hill around my area, has helped with not holding it all in.
I did not think I had a problem because I was too busy helping everyone in my professional job and supporting my family, but I had changed, once I recognised this and realised what I was doing to others close to me, I started to make changes in my life and deal with the stress I put my self, being mindful of others and of the situation has virtually lifted all my anxiety.
Although my wife and I have split, mainly because we were both not happy and life is too short, we have good communication now and I have taken ownership of my actions that caused her pressure in the relationship. We are friends, and will remain that as we have two fantastic boys but we are both happier apart.
Life is hard and you never know what is round the corner.
I thought hard about posting this next bit, it has a hard read but this is what ha happened to my family in the last 10 days to my family. It might provide a insight to getting help.
My loverly 18 year old son who has been like me battling mild depression and anxiety, also he has had a lot of pressure on him that he puts on himself from college work and his apprenticeship, the loss of two friends who recently died in traumatic accidents and the stress of being a teenager.
He is the most caring and loverly lad, we are so proud of him but he has been struggling for a while but trying to sort himself out and hiding his feelings.
Two weeks ago he suffered a break Down, I took him to the GP who was fantastic, she has known since a kid, gave him a referral to a service for therapy and signed him off work for 2 weeks to recover and rest. I took time off work to stay with him at home to help him as he was terribly confused and upset, through the week with much listening from me and supporting he started to make improvements and a bit of the old happy self came back, but he was not sleeping as he still so worried about everything, neither of us slept much, he lives with me and his younger brother.
Sadly as the weekend approached, he started getting more upset as he was overloaded trying to fix himself. I calmed him down and said we would go back to the doctor and get more help. He was calmer on Saturday afternoon and finally got some rest and slept. I left his brother in the house with him and I went food shopping alone, when I arrived back,my youngest son said all was quiet, as we unloaded the shopping there was a almighty crash out side, went to investigate as it was dark, 8pm, a flattened bush and plant pots, outside on the patio was the only evidence, I looked up at my sons window on the third floor directly above ir was wide open, my first thought was he had knocked something out the window.
I ran in and Checked his room, then the house, he was no where, went into the garden and shouted his name three times.
Then heard the best sound in my life, he called back Dad, he was a few gardens away, he had climbed up a steep bank and over 6 foot fences, I shouted come here now and he appeared, best sight of my life.
I said have you fallen out of your window buddy, he looked up and said not sure, I heard the police helicopter.
He had very visibly Broken his arm, and although confused, smiled and said oh dear sorry dad, this does not look good.
He is physically as tough as hell, very fit and a bit of a extreme athlete.
The emergency services arrived very quickly, I went with him to hospital in the ambulance , his brother who is a legend, calm all the way through ( we are coping a close eye ) rang his mum, who lives near to come to him.
My Lad needed to be transported later to a emergency trauma centre 50 miles away, as the local hospital did not have the orthopaedic specialist he need, so we went together.
Long story short, he has been extremely lucky not to have died in the fall from the distance involved, he has some very serious injuries, has had surgery but they are not long term life changing.
I took pictures of the house, where he fell, to help the trauma team and the mental health team. He is engaged with the mental health team and honest, he has told them he jumped to end his life as he was worried.
He will get though this and will be a stronger person, I have been supporting his mum as this is a major shock for us both, she is coping very well and has my full support. She said I am very good at coping in a crisis and remaining calm (it is normality I used to struggle with)
Little brother is very close to big brother has been simply incredible throughout the whole thing, we are giving him lots of attention as well, and he is aware both he and his brother are both our equal focus.
We are still in the thick of it and my oldest son has a long recovery ahead but hopefully is beng transfered to a closer hospital soon as I have been doing a 110 mile round trip twice a day since Sunday, but as a family unit we stronger.
I have been calm and controlled of my emotions throughout, no anxiety, very tired but I needed to take control of the situation, it is different when it your son but I am trained to deal with this in my professional role so I have not taken my professional head off. When this is settled and over I will be getting professional support to debrief and will be seeking support if required for my younger son and his mum has also got work place support in place.
This has made me re evaluate a lot, it is a life changing experience, I feel so incredibly lucky to have both my sons, everything else is secondary.
I have not posted this because I need any support or understanding but to show, with help and insight into your problems and the best support you can get, you can help yourself to get the tools and skills support the ones you hold dear and love in the future and cope with what ever life chucks at you.
OP, you hang in there my friend, you got this, you will get through this and you will be a stronger person for it.
This is a really helpful thread for all of us on the journey to sort out our problems and get help.
Guys
Good for you all! The airing of such stuff is hugely helpful. Even to know that you are not alone in facing such issues is comforting. My daughter suffers from GAD, and has been fighting her demons for the last 5 years since a breakdown. It has tested the entire family in every respect, and continues to do so - it is so difficult to understand, as there is no physical manifestation of problems. Whilst there is no obvious cure, life must go on. CBT and support network seem to be the way forward, helped by drugs if appropriate. Never be afraid to express your feelings, even if it seems 'undignified' to do so.
Wise words.
So sorry to hear about your son's injuries and wish him a speedy recovery in both the physical and mental aspects.
I'm sure we all forget any problems we may have when our family are suffering and naturally put them first, as you have.
All the best.
Cheers,
Neil.
I’m back here again. I’m fighting this as ever but right now it’s not a fight I am winning I know why I am slipping back I know what’s caused it but I can only hope my thoughts are correct. I’m right now at the end of my dads estate and the sale of his house is due to complete tomorrow. Seeing the house I grew up in for over 20 years I lived in and then visited daily, seeing that empty and knowing why is crucified me.
I’ve tried reasoning with myself, I know what mum and dad wanted to leave me with when they passed. They wanted me to live in the house or use the house to set myself and family up. We have done this. The sale of the house will leave me 95% debt free and no mortgage. So I know they have got what they wanted to leave. I know it was going to be hard. But I never banked on the anxiety coming back. I’m stressed atm and run down, so I’ve had 5 out of 7 days with bad headaches, yet I was convinced it’s miles more than that.
I’ve come so far and then this last 14 days I’ve definitely crashed. I’m hoping once the sale goes through tomorrow plus the 10 days off work due to half terms in schools I’ll be able to fight back and take back control.
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Good on you, mate! Glad to hear that things are looking brighter for you.
For many of us, sometimes the worst place you can be is in your own head. Unfortunately tragedy forces us there and it's a long and hard path to get out.
You've been through an enormous pressure but are now coming out the other side so hopefully things will look up for you in the future.
All the very best mate.
Cheers,
Neil.
That kind of experience would impact anyone…. Try to avoid putting angst on top of angst as it would test the sturdiest of characters….
Give yourself permission to feel awful for a bit…
I have huge admiration for you, your honesty and your attempts to cope in circumstances that are very sad…
Keep your pecker up :-)
Ben
It's a journey, always ups and downs. Better times are on the way.
And don't forget mindfulness- can help to calm an anxious/ busy mind.
Keep the faith!
I’ve read this thread and avoided commenting for a while now (although I have spoken via pm to a few) similar story my dad passed suddenly back in 2016 of pancreatic cancer, very fit and active complained of not feeling right on holiday 4 weeks later dead.
To me he was more than my dad he was my best mate and was there for me no matter what I’d done (I wasn’t alway an angel ;) ) As an only child everything fell to me to sort out mainly ensuring my mum was ok and dealing with funeral banks etc etc, no problem all in my stride obviously upset but I’m no stranger to loosing friends and family over the years.
Roll onto Christmas almost 14 months later and something broke in me I don’t know what or why but I became very withdrawn bordering on recluse with thoughts of what’s the point, despite having a very loving and supportive wife and 3 great kids I sank lower than I would have believed possible here I was broken didn’t care about family, work anything. I felt I couldn’t talk to my wife or my friends I’m strong, fearless I fix peoples problems I didn’t have them how could I admit I was a broken shell of a man.
I wound my business down, my dad had always been my sounding board for things without him I felt I couldn’t trust anyone else I didn’t feel able to take a holiday because he’d step in and run things whilst I was away etc etc financially we where sound so what was the point anyway.
I’d made excuses as to why I’d taken a step back and wound things down but the real reason is I just didn’t care about living let alone working.
All of this I’d managed to hide and bluff to everyone I hardly slept 1-2 hours a night at most because I couldn’t turn my mind off, I’d wait for my wife to fall asleep and go out to the garage batter the punchbag and cry like a baby or sit there and just cry like a baby, until one night my wife caught me. She sat and talked to me and cried with me even blamed herself for not realising how low I’d sank which with 3 young kids and a husband who can act like all is fine is easily done, she tried to persuade me to get help but I was having none of it the idea of talking to a stranger about this filled me with dread it had taken me months to tell my wife never mind anyone else.
She researched therapists etc (our doctors are terrible) even went herself to screen them before talking to me about it and had found one she thought I’d respond to a very direct quite strict woman who doesn’t mince her words or soft soap things but explains the reasoning and process etc.
My wife arranged an appointment and said to me “give this lady 30 minutes, if at any point you’re not happy or don’t like it walk out, you’ve always been a fighter so fight this but let’s train for the fight” when put to me like that it was hard to argue with I wasn’t captive and I had nothing to lose so I listened and talked with this lady and sweet god it helped more than I’d have ever believed possible I booked another appointment there and then.
That opened the flood gates and I was able to talk with my wife and close friends about things which helped even more I started exercising a bit again which helped even more (I’ve shortened the process of a good few months here)
Now I don’t pretend to be back completely to my old self far from it I’ve changed as a person hopefully mainly for the better and I still go to therapy sessions occasionally just as a top up because we all have good days and bad days but we need to talk things through occasionally with someone even if it’s a relative stranger on the internet.
Anyone who needs to talk is welcome to pm me I’ll even give you my number and listen, if it’s feasible I’ll make time to meet for a coffee if you want, we’re not strong by bottling things up we’re strong by admitting there’s an issue and working to resolve it using any and all help available, my theory is sometimes it’s much easier to start of talking to someone you never have to see or hear from again because it removes some of that fear and anxiety of judgment which I certainly had and certainly helped me open up.
Im sorry to have rambled on, its hard when writing about such an emotive thing because it kind of tumbles out and I’m sure there are grammar and spelling mistakes galore.
Last edited by bootneck; 12th April 2019 at 03:53.
Respect Bootneck - you've taken another huge step today in posting. I'm also on a car detailing forum which pretty much mirrors everything posted in this forum. One of the positives of forums is that everyone can now appreciate that it's not just one individual suffering - MH issues are prevalent throughout society.
Old Chinese proverb says - I f you want to travel fast, travel alone. If you want to travel far, travel in company. Dealing with MH issues can sometimes be a long journey.
Last edited by Suds; 12th April 2019 at 09:24.
And we are done. The sale of my dads house is complete and the purchase of my family home is done. A massive weight lifted. After the solicitor ended the call I literally burst into tears and cried. I feel fragile yet relieved.
I will also remember this house bricks and mortar it may be but my memories of here will never fade. A part of my life since i was born in 1983.
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Onwards and upwards woody, you've now done what your parents wished and hoped for I’m sure it would be very emotional for anyone so chin up my friend and talk proudly about what you’ve achieved with help from very loving parents.
Can I encourage followers of this meaningful and thought-provoking thread to support zelig's fundraiser in support of the mental health charity, MIND.
https://forum.tz-uk.com/showthread.p...=1#post5026104
Well I am back here to this thread. It helps me a lot. Sorry to keep dredging this thread back.
For me I can feel myself slipping backwards I’m not me. I’ve recently finished work for 7 weeks for school summer holidays. In my job we don’t work school holidays. It’s fantastic for time with the family and seeing my kids grow up. But, this year for me it’s too much time alone with my mind. Too much time to think and realise despite my amazing family and wonderful wife my mind is constantly drawn back to what I have lost and the overwhelming sadness of missing my parents.
As much as I am trying to make memories this summer with the kids all I end up doing it thinking. ‘Dad would of loved this. Mum would laugh at this’ every time I do I feel myself regressing to my own mind. Living in my memories I call it.
Not sure how I will beat this again. But I will. This is the worst I’ve felt in a long time.
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Really sorry to hear this. Would a summer project help focus your mind elsewhere? Perhaps building something or doing something in remembrance of your parents?
I've learnt so much from this thread and respect to you for posting and everyone else who contributes.
How far do you live from the sea? Sea-swimming is a great release, if only for a short while at first, it gradually gets better and better.
Earlier in the year we lost our mother and have recently sold the house and wound up the estate. Both my sister and I found that very tough to deal with. I found a real link between feeling more normal again, more relaxed, and sea swimming in cool water in beautiful locations. It can be a real lift. To be honest you don't even have to be a swimmer, it's just the cool water that helps.
As much as I would love to I’m definitely not a building or DIY type of person. Severely lacking in those skills! Agree though I do need something!
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Now that is me!! That’s a great idea! I live about 15 mile from coast, although that coast is Blackpool! Sea swimming would work and right at the end of the summer holidays me and the wife are off to Spain to where we got married with ZERO children as our honeymoon, so will definitely be trying that. May try and get in the sea before then.
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As hinted in previous replies, research in recent years ref the body's microbiome, suggests links between healthy microbiome and good mental health. If you Google "Mental health and microbiome' there are lots of links / articles documenting the importance of the microbiome in maintaining both good mental and physical health. Basically, a healthy microbiome is encouraged by intake of a good variety of prebiotics (as distinct from probiotics) which encourage a 'normal' gut flora balance. Could be worth studying. I've endeavoured to improve my microbiome and thus my immune system over the last 12 months … and with positive results. One benefit is that my hay fever symptoms have disappeared. The 'gut-brain axis' is a hot topic https://psychscenehub.com/psychinsig...ut-brain-axis/ … However, the worst thing to do is to fill yourself full of probiotics … they can make matters worse by creating an imbalance of gut microbes. Prebiotics is the key. Have you ever taken antibiotics over long periods or via repeat prescriptions? They can play havoc with the body's microbiome and result in a gut flora imbalance which can be difficult to correct … but can be remedied with prebiotics. Also, cesarean delivery babies do not start life with a normal microbiome … and thus may experience compromised 'gut-brain axes' … and compromised immune systems.
dunk
Last edited by sundial; 30th July 2019 at 10:36.
"Well they would say that ... wouldn't they!"
Never been on antibiotics for more than a week over a whole year period. Will look into those more!
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HI - just picking up on this thread - I have made some radical changes with mental health issues - and I too worked around education, giving me huge "gaps" of time off - for me - it's all about finding a niche - feeling of worth too.
As I worked around special needs - the local disabled riding school always look for volunteers - you will just clean tack, tidy up, perhaps the odd paint a fence etc - there will be something near you that needs your help - the worth you will get - my love of horses (great for helping with mental health as calming and recommended - researched etc) is not everybody's "thing" - but you will have your own "thing" or try it!
Good luck - I know how it all feels - and that huge span of open mind time needs filling or stimuli
Painting, pottery etc.?
I've been suffering with really bad depression and anxiety for the last year or so. I've attributed it to a combination of many things including loss of a family member and very close friend. I've found that it’s a very subjective illness in that it affects everyone very differently.
There are certain things I can do which will help me deal with it on a day to day basis. For me, keeping my mind active is the key. I've taken up painting again and started to learn the guitar. I find exercise a great relief too. Most of all just finding something that I enjoy to do and keeps the mind busy seems to work for me.
All the best.
Don't let yourself feel guilty to be happy. Those very people you have lost would likely have given anything to make you happy if they were here.
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True, that's a very, very good point.
The s is so true. My whole life has been screwed from taking my antibiotics when I was young.
Last edited by awright101; 2nd August 2019 at 13:26.
Wow complicated, but very interesting.Thanks for posting the link
Is there a simple way to consume prebiotics? It seems a complex area
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Prebiotic foods include: fruit and veg., (including fruit and veg skins) , oat bran, oat porridge, cereal supplements e.g. cacao powder milled linseed, milled hemp seed, milled sunflower seeds, milled pumpkin seeds, (Aldi is cheapest for breakfast cereal supplements and additives ) wholemeal bread, … whole mixed nuts (preferably chopped ) … even microwaved whole banana i.e. slice the whole banana complete with skin and microwave the slices for 1 to 2 minutes depending on ripeness … banana skin is edible and delicious when cooked (and a good source of prebiotics). The many different gut microbes in our digestive system require different types of fibre (prebiotics) to thrive and create the necessary gut microbe diversity which maintain a healthy microbiome and which in turn maintains a healthy immune system and 'gut-brain axis' . Basically any types of fibre … … some fibre is soluble e.g. oat bran and it also helps to reduce high blood pressure and cholesterol .. Probiotics (as distinct from prebiotics) are e.g. live yogurts which many people consume too much and too often … and which become too dominant and 'knock out' other beneficial gut microbes i.e. they can have an adverse effect on the gut flora balance / microbiome . Rebalancing the microbiome by introduction of a healthy range of prebiotics (as distinct from probiotics) cannot be achieved overnight … it will take at least a few weeks and maybe months . Side effects might include bloating (wind) but this will improve as the gut stabilises. But please do not overdo the fibre - too much too often can cause gut discomfort and resultant 'trots'. Everything in moderation. Some fruit skins are indigestible and poisonous e.g. pineapple skins . The jury is still 'out' regarding avodao seed/nut (but i have no hesitation in chopping and adding to porridge mix) because of some evidence of possible toxins … but avocado skins are edible and delicious either raw or cooked
dunk
Last edited by sundial; 2nd August 2019 at 13:01.
"Well they would say that ... wouldn't they!"
I’m struggling a little with raw avocado skins. How are you consuming them raw, assuming not like a loaded potato skin! I can’t get over the texture of them!
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By “prebiotics” do you just mean fibre then?
Yes … but a variety of same … not just bran … and not to be taken in a too large quantity
dunk
"Well they would say that ... wouldn't they!"
Avocado are fruits … not a veg like potato … avocado skins can be sliced / chopped and eaten in salads … or cooked e.g. microwaved But again, not to be consumed by one person in large quantity and might not be to everyone's liking
Taste/ flavour varies according to type of avocado https://veganwithkent.com/can-you-ea...-best-part-is/
dunk
"Well they would say that ... wouldn't they!"
Very interesting dunk. Thank you.
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This summer and now is by far the hardest time for me I’d say in my life.
I spent the summer trying to make memories with my kids, we had some great time and I saw the fun they had. We did time away in the caravan, days out and generally tried to keep busy. The kids loved it. Which for me was great.
I spent the summer trying to get to grips with my new lows and constant battles. I always felt seeing the kids enjoying something that dad should be there or as I started my new adventure with a new martial arts franchise I kept seeing the fun I’m having and the small setbacks and my instinct was to ring dad or mum and chat bout it. Have a laugh with them. As I would of done.
The more this happened the more I withdraw and spend writing about my memories.
I spent a lot of time trying to ‘work my mind out’ and have come to the only conclusion I can. Having lost mum and dad both suddenly and with in a 23 month period I never actually had the chance to grieve. With mum I was working again in 3 days. And with dad it was back to work the day after. This was down to the previous company I was with as I was self employed they knew I couldn’t not do my classes and therefore never offered help. And me being me I got on with it.
I’m now working with a good friend doing the same work. Nothing to do with the previous company. He has given me time and support and a big ear for me to talk to. I am starting to realise I need time to cry and need time to come to terms with what I have lost.
He is great in offering support and having the staff ready to give me a break if I can’t face 40 kids!
This week was a breakthrough for me. I went to the crematorium and sat and cried and cried and cried. I told mum and dad my feelings and just sobbed. I guess before I get through this there may be many more of those days
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Did anyone make changes as a result of this thread that have helped?
Just looking into making a few dietary improvements.
Please consider reading Tim Spector's book 'The Diet Myth' which explains the 'whys' and 'how to' of improving the body's microbiome … which in turn will likely improve/ boost the immune system . Also lots of You Tube videos on the subject including You Tube presentations by Tim Spector where he addresses medics on the subject .
dunk
"Well they would say that ... wouldn't they!"
Agree
Unfortunately for me I need to revisit this thread and continue to post updates.
I was starting to see myself coming through this and was doing well.
Then we had COVID hit all at once it hit me. I couldn’t work. My sector was wiped out and will be out till October at the earliest we guess. I coped I enjoyed the time at home with the kids. Please don’t get me wrong I still love this. And somewhere yeah I’m enjoying not working and being home. But, this all forced the wife who was looking at returning to the NHS part time as a HCA with me being off she took it that she needs to bring this forward and really go full time. My god how much I love her. She is amazing, but, going from being the breadwinner and still not 100% in myself to being dependent on her income really hit me. I know I shouldn’t. We are a team but still it hurt. This drove me back into my shell, then the feelings are here all the time I should be checking on mum and dad. I should be looking after them and calling them. But I can’t they are gone. It has really hit me.
I’ve done all I can to stay busy. I’m studying for my work when I go back. And ironically I’m completing a children and young persons mental health awareness course.
I’m spending my time planing my other business too but all in all I feel like I’m going backwards. I think the isolation from friends is a big problem for me.
Anyway enough rambling
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You aren’t going backwards though. You are doing constructive things like the other job and the mental awareness program. There are plenty of furloughed people who are just vegging out playing Xbox games or sitting at home drinking. October may seem a long way away but it’ll not be long and you will have achieved a LOT in those other two projects. Continue to cherish your wife and kids and they will be the torches that light the path to the light at the end of this particular tunnel.
Good luck
You can’t berate yourself. We are all struggling to adapt and mentally process the challenges we currently face.
Rather than fight the “change”, accept it for what it is.
You can’t stress what you can’t control at the end of the day. Embrace what you can control, and be the best of yourself with what you can.
You are clearly proud of your wife, and rightly so. Just remember to be proud of what you’ve also achieved, and what you are currently doing.
You’re not alone, we are all in this together.
^^^^ This
We all want to be able to fix things for others, it feels great to help.
Sometimes we need others to help ‘fix’ things for us. It is incredibly hard to do but sometimes you have to let others take control and be reliant upon them. Imagine how good they will feel, being able to offer help and be accepted. It’s a virtuous circle.
Well said.
We can’t always be the “hero”, sometimes we need a hero!
Nailed on that man well said.
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