Reply With QuoteAll the best for that.Originally Posted by Zephyr
My Mrs is waiting for her appointment at the hospital, after being refured by the doctor on Tuesday.
All the best for that.
Glad to hear everything went well. Fingers crossed for a speedy recovery. Certainly puts things in perspective...who cares who has the first Pepsi GMT or where you are on some trinket waiting list. Family is what really matters 👍🏻
The very best of luck.
Thank you, sorry for putting this on your post, I'm barely holding it together to be honest.
Don’t apologise. I put this thread here to help others and to share experiences and information.
It’s patently clear from all the responses that this awful disease affects many people, if not directly, then indirectly.
The health and well being of our nearest and dearest are by far the most important thing in life.
Very best wishes to all going through this at the moment.
My wife found a lump in her breast on the 22nd May last year, and a couple of months ago had the all clear after a lumpectomy, chemotherapy then radiotherapy. She had the all clear at the end of March.
If anyone beginning the journey (or anyone else) would like to reach out, please PM me.
Mate i cannot even begin to comprehend how terrifying and traumatic these events have been for You both the big C visits every one of Our families or loved ones My Brother-In-Law has had his kidney removed due to a tumour i have lost two Uncles to this awful disease i will have You both in my thoughts and prayers i really wish you both success and good health in defeating this terrible disease.
Thank you guys. ☺
This is what my wife is experiencing. She has pain and heavy feeling in her left breast, and when the doctor examined her she said there is a hollow next to the nipple?
Make no assumptions. Deal only with the facts. DON'T GOOGLE!!!!
Thanks David, definitely no Googling going on here.
Seconded!🤞
I am really sorry for both of you and you have my best wishes for the future.
Like you I found it horrific and was sickened when the doctor told my wife that she had cervical cancer. She was only 33 when diagnosed but had been unwell for a while but the tests kept coming back clear. Luckily our gp was persistent and she underwent a more invasive investigation. She needed a radical hysterectomy and radiation treatment for months after.
Honestly most of it was a blur and hard to actually take in but luckily it all went positive and last August she reached her 5 years all clear mark. With a clear bill of health we set about planning to move to be near her parents in the US. Now with the cervical screening mess in Ireland it is bringing it all back up again.
There seems to be some confusion if an earlier test had been read wrong and the screening crowd have phoned. Honestly most of this stuff is going over our heads so we have sought legal advice and her medical records are now being looked at again to see if an earlier diagnosis was possible.
We hear and read so much about cancer that I think some of us are immune to it until that exact moment the doctor says you wife has been diagnosed. It really is a sickening awakening.
I wish your wife a speedie recovery and hopefully soon both of you will be able to put what has happened behind you.
Richard
Evening all.
Once again, thank you to everyone that has shown us amazing support, it really does give us a lot of strength.
The current position is a positive one. We saw the surgeon/consultant today for the histology report and it’s clear; the lymph nodes and tissue surrounding the tumour are cancer-free. TFFT.
The treatment is going to be radiotherapy of between fifteen and twenty sessions beginning in approximately three weeks. Lisa will also take Tamoxifen for a minimum of five years but most likely it’ll be ten years. No chemotherapy required. Again, TFFT.
So as I write, we have the most positive outcome we could have had. The radiotherapy won’t be a walk in the park and the drugs can have many side effects but not having to have chemo is a huge bonus.
Our lives really have been turned upside down since this all began but we feel like we’re heading in the right direction now.
Many thanks,
David and Lisa
That's very encouraging news David.
All our best to Lisa and yourself.
Cheers,
Neil.
Great news David, my best wishes to you all!
That is very good news to hear. Please remember that if positive thought has any power then, on top of everybody in your personal life, there are many people here who are wishing you, your wife and your family good health and a swift and positive end to this journey.
J
Sent from my HUAWEI VNS-L31 using Tapatalk
We tried for a number of years to become parents, eventually resorting to IVF. My wife's pregnancy was fraught with difficulty, not least of which was the re-occurrence of a lump she'd had surgically excised a number of times in the past. Whilst carrying our daughter, she refused treatment because of the risk to the child she was carrying from anaesthetic. Because of the location of the lump, it was, to say the least, uncomfortable - she spent three months not being able to stand, walk or sit without pain.
When our daughter was born (caesarean - it really wasn't a great pregnancy), as she had already had a spinal block, they removed the lump once more.
Everything went quiet for almost 13 months and then between Christmas and New Year we had a call from our local hospital - stop everything and come in, today, within the hour if possible. Luckily my in-laws were staying (never thought I'd say those words!) and baby-sat for us
It turned out that the lump had been around the country to several hospitals who couldn't identify it, and Karen had a particularly rare form of malignant tumour - a particularly aggressive one - she was one of only three people in Europe, and twelve globally, diagnosed that year.
The treatment was long-winded, painful and stressful. The tumour responded to nothing other than excision and the margin of tissue taken around it was steadily increased as it returned 5 times in all. Remember - she'd already had three or four removed. Whilst remaining up-beat and positive, we also took steps to limit the impact if everything went badly, we moved closer to family for support, paid off the mortgage and made all the plans we needed to make, took all the steps we needed to take.
Our daughter is now 18 and just completing her A-level finals and she still has a Mum - a Mum who, after being through several forms of hell, still studied theology and became a Priest - that's faith, right there!
The treatment was excellent, we found an oncologist we trusted (with the tumour being so rare, we were spoilt in that regard) and travelled to Oxford for every treatment, check-up and consultation. It was worth it because the outcome has been positive - Karen has been in remission for around 10 years now (with a few hiccups in that time) and the outlook is still good.
It's horrible going through it as a patient, it's almost as bad as the partner of a patient - talking helps so do it; if the blokes in the pub don't want to engage then use this place for what it's best at - recommending MX5's, decrying shoes and being tactical! Oh, no, that's wrong- being supportive, that's what I mean
Best of luck to everybody who has experience of the condition - it's one club none of us want to be a member of
I feel your pain, it's horrible, I would tell you my story, but this is your thread. I do want to make sure everyone who reads this understands than men can get breast cancer too, so don't ignore your moobs when you check your balls!
Thanks and I do because my mate’s father died of breast cancer.
That must have been especially difficult to deal with, I consider myself very lucky every day.
I've not been back to this thread for a while so thought I'd update you while I have some quiet time in the house.
My wife's daily radiotherapy treatment ended last week which is a huge relief. She's had a rough time of it and the condition of her skin across the affected front quarter of her torso is worse than they expected. They're having to keep a closer eye on her than is usual.
However it's the mental side that's worrying me the most. She's constantly worried that it'll come back. She has a psychologist appointment in a couple of weeks which I'm hoping will be the beginning of her developing some coping strategies.
She sleeps terribly and has just seen the GP about that. She looks sad all time.
All of these things are to be expected but it's incredibly difficult for her. To be honest it's incredibly difficult for me too. I'm mentally and physically exhausted with not much left in the tank. I'm now on two weeks leave from work which has come at a great time as I've not had any time off since Christmas. I feel like I want to sleep for a week but I have to keep going for the girls who, bless them, have had a sh*t school holidays as they've hardly been out of the house and that isn't going to change for the rest of the holidays. They're so bored.
Reading this back has actually made me quite emotional and that's the first time since this all began that I've felt emotional. Maybe it's because reading it is akin to looking in at it through a window rather than being wholly consumed in it for four months and not having the opportunity to reflect. Interesting.
For those interested, and as a (hopefully) useful piece of reference material, I'll continue with updates.
Cheers.
Take care of yourself David, as well as your wife. Wishing you all the best. David.
Good luck everybody. Have a good one.
David, it sounds like a horrendous situation for your whole family. Your wife must be one tough woman! I wish you all the best for the coming months and hope from here on in, its onwards and upwards as you all catch up on sleep, recuperate and life begins to normalise. Good luck
I’m really sorry to hear about your family’s troubles and wish you all the best - Rob
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
It's when you have a moment to stop that it hits you. Good that she's seeing someone, but no harm in pursuing some counselling yourself.
Best wishes
Sent from my ONEPLUS A6003 using Tapatalk
All the best David. Chin up, you and your family will get through this and be all the stronger for it.
I have been following your thread right along and you have my deepest sympathy. We are going through the same over almost the exact same time frame. My wife is 44.
Big difference is that my wife chose a mastectomy and found out just after that 4 nodes were positive, so those and nine others which came in clear, were taken.
She is doing the anti estrogen meds and radiation but, though they recommend chemo, she just can't face it right now and may not do it.
Scared about the remedy as much as the disease. My best to all of you who are dealing with this. The worry and sleeplessness are so tough.
Very hard all this adulting.
Last edited by parsig9; 19th August 2018 at 19:47.
Gosh where do I start.
I can fully empathise with both you and your wife for different reasons. Let me share my experience to see if this helps.
Last March I started feeling really tired and noticed my stomach becoming distended. After tooing and froing to the docs and then hospital I then had a CT scan and was taken into a room and was told I had primary bowel and secondary stomach cancer. I was then admitted to the ward where the consultant went into great detail telling me what I had and how it looked. She informed me any care would be palliative and sent me home for the weekend.
I went back in the following Monday for a biopsy and was again released. During this time I was making wills and provision for our 4 year old daughter. That 2 week period was hell as I'm sure you could understand. Then it happened, I got a call from the hospital from consultant saying, remember what I told you, well we were wrong, consultant 2 will contact you shortly to discuss. Literally 2 minutes later consultant 2 called and said this is an aggressive lymphoma but we can treat it so come in now.
Literally an hour later I had packed my bag and was admitted to the haematology department to begin treatment. I underwent 4 months worth or chemo which I completed in July last year. I have been in complete remission since and my consultant is very happy and the chances now are looking promising.
Anyway, I got a referral to a clinical psychologist who I found really helpful. It was good to unload and to try and articulate the experience sometimes alone, sometimes with my wife. I also found my local Maggie's centre really good and now attend a monthly group session which is great to meet other folk who have similar experiences. I also joined the Macmillan forum and chatted to others with similar journeys.
What I would say is the sense of alert stays with you but does appear to lessen as time goes on. It's only natural to to worry about any aches and pains and jump to conclusions but again this (for me) is lessening and improving.
Thankfully energy levels are returning now and am back to walking, hiking and mountain biking.
Happy to discuss with you via PM.
All the best to you all.
Jk
Fair play to you for speaking candidly David. My father is currently undergoing treatment for a throat tumour. His spirits are high but it does take a very large personal toll. I can't imagine what you've gone through with a spouse.
Whilst it's your wife that has the illness, your burden is real and shouldn't be ignored. I, (amongst others I'm sure), are here when you feel like sharing or venting. Please don't feel weak or guilty for feeling down. I think you have a fantastic, healthy openness with how you are coping. That's important.
If I may deviate slightly from the subject, the poster above mentioned he uses Maggies. If you've seen the TakeTime project post, Maggies will be the beneficiary once the watch is sold. Fantastic charity.
Anyway, all the very best to you and your family.
If it matters to you, please know you're in my prayers.
Dave
Hi David, my prayers are with you and your wife and do understand everything your feeling.
Since 2009 my wife has had cervical cancer, lung cancer and Non Hodgkins lymphoma and she's still in remission.
We've had dark days but there is light at the end of the tunnel.
As a carer you feel a bit forgotten so what helped me was to write a blog and I named ours 'Our Roller Coaster Ride' and met life long friends from people reading it.
We also used the Macmillian website which we used a lot.
My wife is an absolute star and I'm so proud of her as I bet you are of your wife.
Good luck to you both and pm me if you ever need a chat.
Thanks again for your messages of support, they do make such a difference. Mr xpatx, yesterday I Googled setting up a blog - strange coincidence you now mention that.
Hi David. I have no magic words from a stranger but my heartfelt support goes out to you and everyone facing a life changing health situation. I have some experience of this myself and whilst it’s easy to be trite I have found that making each day count in some way is what’s keeping me sane. The little things are sometimes all it takes, a walk with the dog while chatting with my young son. Or finishing a small household project. Anything I can take some positives from. Like other posters, I found the psychologist attached to the hospital dept to be useful and a good independent ear. Best wishes.
Some great advice, many thanks. It has really made us value time and memories, hence the multi-items for sale on SC!
I'm sorry not to have seen your post before now and lent a further voice of support. The last couple of months must have been so difficult for you both and I especially empathise about the effect it's had on your children, but I'd try not to feel too guilty about their summer being a bit of a write-off - they'll quickly forget about that. You and your wife could take the opportunity to plan a trip away or some other family treat once she's up to it, which might in itself be a nice, positive distraction.
Hi - a trip is exactly my intention. I just need my items on SC to sell first!
Hi David glad that Lisa is doing ok I have said this before but I cannot begin to comprehend what You have both been through and it is great that you've updated the thread I continue to wish you both and all those suffering all the very best and may We one day rid Ourselves of this awful disease.
I wish the best speedy recovery
Mental state is everything and is hard to stay positive at all times
Faith helps
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
This puts Rolex wait lists in perspective.
Hope your family stays strong.
Lump discovered in other breast. Back to the beginning. Not sure how much more we can take. She’s not even two weeks clear of her radiotherapy ending FFS. Can she not just get a break?
It’s too much to take in that we’re here again and so soon. She’s inconsolable.
I’m just numb. Weeks of tests and that horrific waiting period ahead. It’s the waiting that gets you. They move at a snail’s pace.
I honestly don’t know how either of us will cope with this. I know it could be nothing but the tests and the waiting are crippling. I fear she’ll have a breakdown with the stress.
Last edited by TaketheCannoli; 26th August 2018 at 20:40.
David, I have no idea what to say... That’s really crap
You cope, you always cope... as you have no other option other than to cope
Take care
Ben x
Easy for me to say mate but stay strong for her, Churchill once said “ when you’re going through hell, keep going” , you both are being tested but together you can conquer it, best of luck and all good wishes...
Really sorry for you both, it’s a horrible and destructive disease but try and stay positive. Having been through and come out the other side, it it’s hard but then having watched my father go through it was much harder to watch someone you love face it.
They are so much better at treating this stuff than they were but the treatments are still not nice..it’s hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel but hopefully some good news will come you way soon. Make sure you look after you and your girls at this time too as it is important that you all take the time to do that too. Find someone you can talk to openly and honestly, that you don’t have to pussy foot around or feel you have to say what you should, but can actually say what you really feel. It’s ok to be mad, pissed off, angry and also happy as well.
If I can help drop me a pm.
You have to cope, positive is the only way. The mind is a powerful tool you want to use towards her physical recovery.
Kick it’s arse!
That really does suck, sorry to hear that. As the post above says, try and stay positive and have confidence that she can pull through.
I have been there, you will cope. My wife was young when diagnosed, double mastectomy, chemotherapy and radiotherapy. Kids were young it was dark times. She came out the other side.
We are sadly no longer together but remain friends, she is well.
I hope all goes well for you both. Stay strong.
Over a recent 2 year period my missus had 2 bouts of Large B Cell NHL, aggressive, stage 4. Only diagnosed after a shoulder injury and consequential X-Ray.
First year was chemo to get it into remission, then it came back and needed a stem cell transplant and radiotherapy.
My way of coping was to keep thinking I have a job to do and my job was/is to make sure I am strong and support her. That's how I kept/keep strong. She has enough to deal with without worrying about me. There are moments when I think about what we went through and can allow some emotional reflection, but still always being strong for her.
Being with her for every single appointment, consultation, needle, blood test, X-Ray, CT, PET, chemotherapy, radiotherapy, including the Hickman Line and the Femoral Line both of which were surgical procedures and being insistent I could be present to hold her hand. I made sure there was no moment that she was alone with any of it, apart from when she was in hospital for a month, although visiting twice a day.
That was my job and it's something you might have to get your head around to cope with it all.
You have the same job, be strong for her buddy, it might sound tough on you but you can deal with it later. In your life you will probably never have a more important job to do.
I send you our best wishes for you both, stay strong buddy, you can and will get through it.
PM is there if you need to contact either of us.
Some information regarding waiting times for yourself or anybody else going through similar. We recently went to a seminar at The Christie, included was a lecture by a chap from the pathology dept. It can take at least a week to prepare and examine a sample of tissue. This is apart from the meetings that the care team will then have to discuss the diagnosis, prognosis, treatment plan etc. It doesn't help at the time but now it does help us understand what all those waiting periods were about.
Morning all - I’m reflecting on a rather emotional post yesterday. It had been a rough day.
K300 - you’re absolutely right, it is my job and one I’ve done every minute of every day of the past four months. Like you I’ve done every appointment and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
She was upset yesterday and, for the first time, our frustrations came to the surface. I’ll continue to do anything and everything necessary to get her though this and whatever happens along the way.
Thanks folks, once again your support and encouragement is greatly appreciated.
How horrible and upsetting to read, I really feel for you both, I have tears in my eyes reading yesterdays post.
Paul
x
Posting Permissions
