Watch repair reviews

[robert75]

Following on form our long standing debate over postal warranties, unhappy customers and general angst about watch repairers I wonder if anyone has come across woodland technical? His webpage is hilarious especially the “Customer reviews”. One of my favourites

“Darius Majorfart (Netherfondle, Clapwarrington)

Hi, my name is Derek and you can probably guess I’m from Birmingham. Woodland Technical overhauled a Zenith Elite for me which I bought damaged from an auction. They returned the watch to me with a 12 month guarantee. I noted it was losing around 4 seconds a month so, as you do, I prised off the back to adjust this outrageous timing error and afterwards noted that the balance spring was buckled and the watch was gaining 10 minutes a day. Rather than return the watch under guarantee I considered it appropriate to send a number of offensive and libelous emails to Woodland Technical criticizing the shoddy workmanship which had originally forced me to open the watch, break the warranty seal and damage the balance spring. Woodland Technical successfully sued me and left me destitute and homeless. I believe that they took an extended world cruise funded by the excessive damages I had to pay.“

http://www.woodlandtechnical.co.uk/?page_id=64

[Stringer]

This site had me in stitches at my desk after a couple of Friday lunch-time pints:


Chris: Hi Derek, I own a Rolex Submariner, 3135 cal. I accidently dropped it into the goldfish bowl the other day when feeding the fish and on attempting to remove it was roundly attacked by the goldfish who now won’t let me get at it. If I try to it savages my fingers. Do you think my watch will suffer from being constantly immersed in cold water?

Derek: Goodness Chris. This is a new one on me. A goldfish being aggressive over a Rolex. Regarding the watch I don’t think it will come to any harm. It is, after all, a Submariner. Regarding the fish I think your best approach would be to strap the little b*gger, bowl and all, to the back of your bicycle and take it for a very long ride, preferably in the scorching heat of a mid-summers day until the horrid little sh*t dies. You will then be in a good position to recover your treasured Rolex without any risk of damage to your digits.

I regularly kill fish this way. It’s a tried and tested method of mine, despite the protestations of animal lovers throughout the country. Hope this helps.

[robert75]

“Ranyard Thunderfart (Crosswell Lunatic Asylum, Scrotum Fen, Runty)

Hi, I was delighted with the work that Woodland Technical did to my Omega. I had taken it to another repairer and it went wrong in days. When Woodland Technical looked at it for me they found that the other repairer had used all the wrongs lubricants and had even applied car grease in large measures to the winding gears etc. This had got into the movement and onto the dial, causing plate damage and damage to the dial surface. The guys and WT put this right for me and even went as far as visiting the other repairer and burning down his garden shed. Well Done!“

[khumzi]

Brilliant! I’ve been looking for someone to service my Ajax z456.27 with its rather tricky double sprung overhead axle pinion. Do you think he can change its battery for me for under a tenner, postage included?


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[Stringer]

Brilliant! I’ve been looking for someone to service my Ajax z456.27 with its rather tricky double sprung overhead axle pinion. Do you think he can change its battery for me for under a tenner, postage included?

Sorry, but I've heard the rumours and I believe you're ineligible: 'We reserve the right to turn customers away who don’t like squirrels or kill fish using a bicycle'.

[khumzi]

It was just the one fish. And it was an utterly vicious and vindictive bastard. But point taken... one makes ones bed.


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[Passenger]

Blimey that's funny, thanks for posting op.

[TheFixer]

I always use Greg at Woodland Technical and have had no problems on the very odd occasion I have had a warranty claim it has been dealt with promptly, and he always gives long guarantees.

10 out of 10 for me.

[robert75]

I always use Greg at Woodland Technical and have had no problems on the very odd occasion I have had a warranty claim it has been dealt with promptly, and he always gives long guarantees.

10 out of 10 for me.

Yes likewise he can pretty much fix the unfixable I just like his website especially with all the angst about watch repairers of late good to see his cracking sense of humour.