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Thread: Only just heard this phrase

  1. #1

    Only just heard this phrase

    "All gong and no dinner" Marvelous.

  2. #2
    Master PipPip's Avatar
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    Only just heard this phrase

    I heard a good one today. A bit sexist but someone at work described a woman as a "LRF". Apparently it means "Low Resolution Fox", i.e. better when viewed from a distance.

  3. #3
    Master Qatar-wol's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PipPip View Post
    when viewed from a distance.
    There are several for that phenomena. I like "back beauty", but my favourite has always been the "Double Barker", ie. body of Sue Barker, face of Ronnie Barker. THank the Viz Profanisauris for that one.

  4. #4
    What about "but face" as in everything but the face.

  5. #5
    Grand Master andrewcregan's Avatar
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    "Sounds good on the phone, add 4 stone."

    Women who sound sexy on the phone, are usually much larger than you'd hope

  6. #6
    Master
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    How about, Lower than a smackheads nostrils

  7. #7
    Master
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    All fart and no smell.

  8. #8
    Grand Master SimonK's Avatar
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    Oh well, in for a penny and all that - what about a ten-to-two bird? The girl still alone ten minutes before the nightclub closes.

  9. #9
    Master arthurDALEY's Avatar
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    'She had a face like a Bulldog licking the piss off a Thistle"


    'She has been called attractive, trouble is Stevie Wonder said it"

  10. #10
    Craftsman
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    BOBFOC?

  11. #11
    Grand Master SimonK's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by arthurDALEY View Post
    'She had a face like a Bulldog licking the piss off a Thistle"

    ... while looking at the sun.

  12. #12
    Kronenbourg 1664
    16 from the back-64 from the front.
    Last edited by Franky Four Fingers; 10th August 2016 at 22:46.

  13. #13
    Master
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    An Australian acquaintance once told me he was I a relationship with sock's, some other **** kids...

  14. #14
    Grand Master GraniteQuarry's Avatar
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    Be interested if anyone has heard this one, my gang used it all the time back in the day but I've never seen or heard it anywhere else.

    Description of a lovely derrière seen in motion -

    "She's chewin' a toffee"

  15. #15
    Master
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    Descriptive of a shapely but older lady wearing clothes inappropriate for her age "Atomic Mutton"

  16. #16
    Craftsman Zephyr's Avatar
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    Body off Baywatch, face off crime watch.

  17. #17
    Master
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qatar-wol View Post
    There are several for that phenomena. I like "back beauty", but my favourite has always been the "Double Barker", ie. body of Sue Barker, face of Ronnie Barker. THank the Viz Profanisauris for that one.
    Golden deceiver is my choice.

  18. #18
    Grand Master hogthrob's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chaplad View Post
    What about "but face" as in everything but the face.
    "butter face", surely?


    Edit: I'm not sure the OP was actually about sexist euphemisms; it seems more in the vein of "All mouth, no trousers".

  19. #19
    Master Mr Curta's Avatar
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    A similar phrase in the US is 'all hat and no cattle'.

    And another alternative for when someone talks a lot but never follows through, they are all fart no G&D, you can work it out.

  20. #20
    "Nice from far but far from nice"

  21. #21
    Master arthurDALEY's Avatar
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    She"s got more faces than the Town Hall Clock

  22. #22
    Grand Master magirus's Avatar
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    A pal once commented that a lass had "a set of teeth like a witchdoctor's necklace".

  23. #23
    Golf related....

    Sally Gunnell - topped shot, bit ugly but runs a long way.

    The sister shagger - A topped ball that goes where you wanted it just doesn't feel like a result.
    "Bite my shiny metal ass."
    - Bender Bending Rodríguez

  24. #24
    Master arthurDALEY's Avatar
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    A Big Muff ?

    Like a Wizards Sleeve
    A Clowns Pocket
    Wetter than a Otter"s pocket

  25. #25
    Banned
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    Quote Originally Posted by magirus View Post
    A pal once commented that a lass had "a set of teeth like a witchdoctor's necklace".
    I worked with a cockney who had some delightful phrases

    more teeth than a Ferrari gearbox

    he also referred to woman as it





    take a look at it, more teeth than a Ferrari gearbox.

  26. #26
    When someone has buck teeth I've heard the phrase used

    'he/she could eat lettuce through a tennis racket'

  27. #27
    Master
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    Teeth like a vandalised churchyard

    BOBFOC = body off Baywatch, face off Crimewatch

    My favourite is 'face like a pork pie without the crust'.

  28. #28
    My mate was telling the tale of another pal of ours who had copped off with a women on a night out,when we asked what she was like he said "nice body but she had a face like a smashed crab"

    Id genuinely never heard that one before.

    A golf putting one- I was left with a Dennis Wise I.E. a nasty little 5 footer.

  29. #29
    Teeth like a row of bombed houses.

    Fanny like a ripped out fireplace.

    This one cracks me up when talking about a loose lady:
    You might as well open the window and f**k the night.

  30. #30
    'It was like punching smoke'

    to describe a lady with not very tight bits

  31. #31
    I like the Australian expression when it is time to get serious and stop messing around.

    'We are not here to f*ck spiders.'

    Nonsensical but really appeals to me for a bizarre reason!

  32. #32
    Master snowman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by andrewcregan View Post
    "Sounds good on the phone, add 4 stone."

    Women who sound sexy on the phone, are usually much larger than you'd hope
    Ha ha - Years ago I had an accountant who had the sexiest phone voice I have ever heard.

    I always imagined she was stunning, but I made a point of never meeting her, so my fantasy remains intact

    A favourite (non-sexist one) of mine is "As welcome as a dose of clap in a convent"

    M.

    PS Funny how men always think the woman is 'loose' - Couldn't be them who are failing to fit the slot, could it?
    Last edited by snowman; 12th August 2016 at 09:48.

  33. #33
    It's not the size of the organ, it's the size of the cathedral it's playing in.

  34. #34
    Grand Master hogthrob's Avatar
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    "Like throwing a sausage up an alley."

  35. #35
    Master
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    Like Waving a Woodbine in the Mersey Tunnel :-)

  36. #36
    Craftsman
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    2 donkeys don't make a shire horse

  37. #37
    Master Xantiagib's Avatar
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    talking about a close shave in a traffic accident or similar:

    " I clenched my arse so hard I think Debeers is going to sue me for the diamonds I made.."

  38. #38
    Wetter than the front row of a One Direction concert

  39. #39
    Master
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    Quote Originally Posted by GraniteQuarry View Post
    Be interested if anyone has heard this one, my gang used it all the time back in the day but I've never seen or heard it anywhere else.

    Description of a lovely derrière seen in motion -

    "She's chewin' a toffee"
    More or less – “ that one’s chewing toffee!”

  40. #40
    Grand Master SimonK's Avatar
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    After Nicolas Sarkozy had been president for around 6 months, launching initiative after initiative but seeing none of them through, an FT journalist described him as 'all sizzle and no steak'.

  41. #41
    Master
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beaunidle View Post
    Descriptive of a shapely but older lady wearing clothes inappropriate for her age "Atomic Mutton"
    Modern version of the old “Mutton dressed as lamb”.

    Quote Originally Posted by hogthrob View Post
    Edit: I'm not sure the OP was actually about sexist euphemisms; it seems more in the vein of "All mouth, no trousers".
    Indeed, and also referred to as “all talk, no action”.

  42. #42
    Master
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    Just heard and American lady say - "he's all hat and no cattle"


    I think it's a bit like the OP;s and "Fur coat and no knickers"

    B

  43. #43
    Quote Originally Posted by snowman View Post

    PS Funny how men always think the woman is 'loose' - Couldn't be them who are failing to fit the slot, could it?

    It's not the size of your pencil, it's how you write your name*.

    *apparently - mine is actually like a VIM tin with a sheep's heart on the end so I wouldn't know (always wondered why it was a sheep's heart, but the old fella I worked with who used the phrase was never forthcoming on why - his other preferred description for that appendage being 'like a baby's arm with an apple in its hand')

  44. #44
    Craftsman
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    Some of my favourites...

    All fart and no poo

    face like a bulldog licking piss off a thistle!

    Tits like a spaniels ears

    and when topping a golf ball but it f***s off a long way, its a Sally Gunnell - ugly but a good runner!

    *Bugger just noticed Stoo beat me to the Sally Gunnell!

  45. #45
    Stocking tops - used to describe a bloke who was 'close to a c*nt'

    Not even coordinated enough to be a w*nker

    Prince Charles day - first day of job when you get paraded around and introduce to everyone and get told what they do.

  46. #46
    concerning a lady with a rather large nose...
    "shave off! she could smoke a fag in the shower"

  47. #47
    Master
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    Quote Originally Posted by GOAT View Post
    concerning a lady with a rather large nose...
    "shave off! she could smoke a fag in the shower"
    or "two of them back to back would look like a pickaxe"


    Picked that up in a summer holiday job as a student

    B

  48. #48
    Craftsman
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    Quote Originally Posted by hogthrob View Post
    "Like throwing a sausage up an alley."
    Up here it would be:

    Like throwing a dout up a close.

    A lady who was fond of the boaby, would be a Mussolini - a great dick taker.

  49. #49
    Master
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    Of a particularly skinny lass "lace her into DMs and you could use her as a golf club"

    And from one of my crasser Welsh chums regarding an attractive young lady, "If I was her Da I'd still be washing her"

    My daughter is twelve, they will NEVER be introduced.

  50. #50
    Master
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    Only just heard this phrase

    Deleted
    Last edited by Deckard81; 20th August 2016 at 00:13. Reason: Too vulgar for G&D

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