Reply With Quoteneeds more drums and more stairs at the start, otherwise very good
Hi guys, Im currently taking media at college, and we had to produce the opening title sequence for a thriller film as part of the course. We need some audience feedback, so would really appreciate some comments/critique from you guys! I know its not top tip, and there is a range of things that I would of done differently, but we didn't have much to time to produce the whole thing, anyway I hope you enjoy.
Thank you very much,
(more information on it in the videos description)
needs more drums and more stairs at the start, otherwise very good
Looks pretty good to me, but the use of Data 70 (or Orbit B?) typeface for the names seems a strange choice. Was that a French I.D. card he drops?
I'm not trying to be rude, but that's really bad.
For instance, when you need to run, you RUN!
It looks like you all need more life experience.
But I liked the drums, and stairs.
I agree that when you need to run, you RUN. But the actor for the agent was getting tired and cold while filming. It does look wrong not sprinting, but theres not much more we could do with limited time and no budget.Originally Posted by Kirk280
Dude, thats a strong accusation right there, you cant say that about me, or anyone acting, just from watching a short film I made from school.
Last edited by rubeneski; 30th April 2016 at 21:33.
Font name was Computer Robot (downloaded of a font website). We used it because of the hacking element to the film - the classic green computer text you associate with lines of code and hacking. Well spotted, it was indeed. Main actor is French.
No offence meant. I was only speaking as a non-paying punter!
If you already knew it looked wrong then great. The next step is to not accept that - strive for accuracy.
I wish you all the best.
Rule number one , when you submit something for public criticism do not then complain about what you get back. Take it on the chin.
Your editing lacks pace , you could tighten it up a lot.
Your structure is a bit too narrow, you stay with the hunter and hunted too long , you should leave them and show the environment a bit more and then pick them up again. build the space to the audience.
Shot variety. Its all wides and medium wides , get some variation in there , some extreme closeups , some quick reaction shots. the audience is too distant because of the wide staging. You need to make them identify with the character to increase tension.
Im completely open to criticism about the film, not my personal life.
Otherwise, very constructive comments, thank you!
far too long telling one part of the story (the running), and the music while it suggests tension seems out of place, i’m sure there is better out there on musicbed etc, and whats with the titles half way through? for me i need more clues to the story at the beginning but without giving too much away.
for me it just seems too long doing the same thing.
you are doing an As level not a degree so i guess it’s probably going to get you a good pass :-)
Ok, I've watched it.
There are others on here who work in the media and have commented. My industry credentials (although a little rusty as I changed career a decade ago) are these:
Twelve years in media production - TV, Film, Music Videos and on-line. Became MD of a production company at Elstree Film Studios.
I have a degree in Film & TV Production, I have also taught TV & Film production at Degree, Post Grad, AS and A2 level (in the past ten years).
So I would echo many of the comments (especially those of MrD above).
Plus this is my take on what you have produced:
For AS level it is reasonably competent, and you have shown you can use a camera and frame a shot. You can also edit.
But if you really want the top grade I would suggest the following:
- It is too long for what is essentially just a chase sequence on foot. Cut it down by a third and pace it up.
- It isn't really an opening title sequence at the moment. I would like to see some shots of the characters, in another context, with the actors names. You can shoot these now, as they won't impact on your continuity.
- The music is too monotonous and does not build - it isn't catchy or particularly exciting.
- You don't have enough cutaways, but you could get around this by using additional footage as I suggested in my second point.
- The graphics/titles you use aren't very arresting, see if you can pep these up.
- I like to see really creative editing in title sequences (actually in pretty much everything) - think about some jump cutting, faster cross-cutting, editing to the beat, even some dynamic or variable speed on some of the shots.
- I rarely suggest additional digital effects, but there are a couple of shots where you could experiement with adding some lens flare (yes really!)
I hope that helps a bit!
PS - this isn't an opening title, but a short film trailer exercise by an AS Level student team I taught some years back. It might give you a few ideas.
Last edited by TheFlyingBanana; 1st May 2016 at 20:42.
So clever my foot fell off.
the graphics titles don't seem to stay on screen long enough and fade away too soon... especially the first few
oh and needs more cowbell (a la 'zoot woman - its automatic')
Speeding up footage of a slow moving car to make it look like a fast moving car never works. The car driving away at the end looks bad
Brighty
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