Hello Again - Any chance of some wisdom or collector-oriented therapy please?

[spaceslug]

Greeting TZers

After an absence of several months, I’m back in circulation and just wanted to say hello again to everyone and perhaps get a bit of therapy from TZ friends old and new.

It’s been an eventful last 13 months which have seen me take (very) early retirement, move house twice and relocate with Mrs. Spaceslug from the Midlands to the Cotswolds. The double move was due to renting for a year while we found our feet and understood the area and house market better before buying. Due to the nature of our new property, it’s taken us several months to get a landline and internet installed and with no mobile signal in the area, we’ve been completely off grid at home which explains my lack of activity on the forum and the net in general.

The Mrs had a job lined up as part of the original move and I’m working again now with a part-time job that provides some pocket money to top-up my (modest) company pension. I’ll not be buying watches like I once did; in 2013 I averaged nearly one per week (many cheapies, some not), but I’m ok with that. I’m quite happy with the collection and consider myself lucky to have what I have and overall, happier than I probably deserve to be. Until recently.

In the last month, my elderly mother passed away suddenly. I had been visiting her on a regular basis and we talked pretty much daily, even with the challenging comms issues. My dad died back in the 80s and being the only child, this left me with responsibility for the “estate” and for all arrangements. I’m pretty stable emotionally so although upset, in general I was ok sorting out the funeral etc. What I have found unsettling is sorting out Mom’s affairs and belongings.

My folks came from a modest background and always lived in rented accommodation, meaning the house had to be cleared in fairly short order. While there were a few heirlooms and many sentimental pieces, much of the stuff was of little or no value. My kids and immediate family had some of the more useful or treasured items but the vast majority of mom’s belongings were cleared/donated to charity, which I know she would have wanted.

Now I’m sure I’m not the first to have gone on this particular journey, but this experience got me thinking about my own mortality and the “life-debris” that will be left behind when I’m gone. More valuable, more complicated in my case, but suddenly much of it seems quite unnecessary. One of my heroes said “What we leave behind is not as important as how we've lived.”; at the moment, I fear I fall short on both aspects of that sentiment.

When we moved house(s), I had massive clear-outs and even then I couldn’t get over how much “stuff” we’d amassed over the years, much of which went direct from loft to ebay/charity/tip. Now I’m thinking that it’s time to be ruthless with my possessions and get down to what I need, use or value. I’ve collected many things over the years and a lot of these have been thinned down already. I’m thinking it’s time to look at the watches, many of which I never or rarely wear, many of which are similar or duplicates. I fully intend to keep a collection, and probably still buy the odd watch, but maybe scale it down to something much more manageable and useful.

Has anyone been here before and if so, do you have any wisdom to share? Did it work for you or am I about to make a big mistake?

Thanks in advance for reading my ramblings.

[tixntox]

So sorry to hear of your loss. I had to bring mum and dad to live nearer to me a couple of years or so ago and that involved clearing much of the "stuff", as dad was going into a residential home and mum downsized. We lost dad a year later. I have also started to thin out my "stuff". Many years of hobbies, interests, cars, bikes etc., has left its "stuff" toll on me too. I'm left with a stack of tools, tooling, a lathe, workshop etc., which no doubt will have nowhere to go "when owt 'appens"! I have found the clearing out quite therapeutic but also painful at times. I bought a small trailer for "tip duty" and it has really earned its keep. I still have a long way to go with the "stuff" clearance but am due to retire next year, so hey-ho, we will see if I can leave less junk for my son than my dad did!
Mike

[seikopath]

If you enjoy it keep them. Whoever has to sort out your estate , a few watches isn't going to provide a big headache. If you want to slim it down, just have a target number in mind (6? 3?) and try and keep it to that. Sorry about your mum. Best wishes Dave

[spaceslug]

Thanks both. I think the target number is a good idea, but getting down to something sensible isn't going to be easy. I don't know what the average collection numbers but I'm not far off 200 currently. I think I'll start with similar or duplicate models and aim to half the number. That will still be too many but it'll be heading in the right direction.

[Neil.C]

Sorry to hear about your Mum. I know when people get older and start thinking of their own mortality it is a natural urge to clear stuff out.

My Mother in law did it before her death at 91 and lately my own Mum (an incorrigible collector) has mentioned shifting some stuff also.

I'm sure you are nowhere near that but I have shifted out a fair few watches in recent years.
After a while collections can feel like an encumbrance.

[DB9yeti]

If you enjoy it keep them. Whoever has to sort out your estate , a few watches isn't going to provide a big headache.

Don't you believe it. Having to deal with FiL's estate, he was a well-known coin and stamp collector with a collection going into many thousands of pieces. Untold grief getting it sorted because, well, where do you start? If someone gave me a bunch of watches to get rid I'd have an idea of dealers, auction houses and values. You are entirely deopendent on the honesty of dealers you have no reason to trust, it's awful. Then there's capital gains and endless fees to pay...

If you don't know what you're dealing with... it's not a pleasant task and 200 watches is a lot if you don't know your Invictas from your Vacherons.

I hope I have the wherewithal to shift my collection closer to the time and save my family from it.

[Mouse]

Very sorry to hear about your loss.

There seems to be a natural cycle to life. We amass, we use and enjoy.......and then we downsize and rationalise.

Hopefully, I have a few more years yet, but I'm at the point where I really need to get rid of things. Tools have been my guilty pleasure. I have tools for all manner of trades, and that's despite having two major clear outs in the past! As for electronic kit and components - even I don't know what I've got anymore.

My partner and daughter would not have a clue about most of my stuff and would probably bin, or give away, most of it....at a huge financial loss. So that's a scenario that I hope to head off at the pass before I kick the bucket. It will take some doing though :-(

As for watches, I've got it down to ten, very decent, usable items (we won't mention all the spare parts too!). I won't be varying from around that number by much at this time of life. Partner and daughter know all about them so I think they'll be in safe hands........and even on the wrists I hope :-)

[kevkojak]

Nice to have you back Spaceslug, and sorry it's been a tough year for you.

My advice is: Keep everything in your life that brings you happiness.
If you look in your watch box and love what you see then that's an indulgence you don't have to justify. If you think "Shit, I wonder if these will be a pain for someone when I die" then there is summat wrong.
Be a bit selfish, life is too short to think about what comes after you've gone.

My only concern would be my wife going "pffff, these bloody watches..." and bunging them all into a local pawnbroker for a fraction of what they are actually worth. To that end, I try to keep a reasonably up to date catalogue my collection (not the easiest thing when you're as keen on e.bay as myself).

When my Dad died a few years ago we were in the same boat. He owned his flat but was up to the hilt with a remortgage taken out with one of the less reputable firms who refused to freeze the interest after his death, so we had to get it sold immediately to clear the debt.
There was a lot of household stuff, as well as clothes and his prized vinyl collection, which no-one really wanted or had room for, so it went to charity. That bothered me for a while, but someone said to me if he had offered any of that stuff while he was alive I'd have politely declined it and his feelings wouldn't be hurt in the slightest.

My only regret was selling his Merc. It was an old 180e, 1984 (B reg) and I was adamant I was keeping it but I didn't drive, so it sat outside my house for around 18 months until my wife really started kicking off about it. I lost the plot and phoned a local breakers yard who came and gave me a couple of hundred quid for it.