Garden centres. Apart from the opportunity for a coffee and a nice sticky bun from the cafe, I'd rather push sharp sticks into my nether regions.
I'm sitting in the car outside "Hobbycraft" while wife, daughter and banana junior go in for a browse. The dog is in the boot slowly gassing me. "Do you want to come in?" She said. I'd honestly rather shoot myself.
You get the idea.
Garden centres. Apart from the opportunity for a coffee and a nice sticky bun from the cafe, I'd rather push sharp sticks into my nether regions.
Strictly starts again tonight...
z
Consume food from a carvery after everyone has sneezed over the food.
Stand for over an hour in a 'Build-a-Bear' queue.
I don't mind it that much, there's some professionals on there that are IMO, well worth the watching! You have to be careful watching with the wife mind you, you can get caught out.
I'd rather shoot myself than:
Go on a coach trip holiday or a holiday (POW) camp such as Butlins style! I ended up staying in a static caravan in a terrible park a few years back and it was like something you felt the army should rescue from, any minute now! I wanted to leave and head straight home, I only stayed for my wife and children's sake.
Enter The Maze Of Torture (Otherwise known as IKEA)
Vampire ride at Chessington. 45 minutes of queueing, for 3 minutes of vomit inducing unpleasantness.
......than carry out any form of diy. Painting and decoration should be kept only for the professionals, no man should be forced against his will.
Shake hands with Tony Blair or ask Chris Evans for his autograph.
Own an MX 5 or wear crocks
Last edited by m4ckg; 26th September 2015 at 18:45.
Buying shoes for my 2 daughters today,1 was easy the older didn't get any,there's probably no shoes in the U.K. That will fit or she likes ,she must have tried them all
...stay in this afternoon whilst both of my daughters have friends around to play/trash the place, whilst knowing that the rugby is on in the pub.
Be seen driving a TVR again or wear a Panerai.
"A man of little significance"
Buy an automatic car, wear a Panerai, be a veggie.
I would honestly rather shoot myself......
Than watch a rom-com film.
Millport or even worse Blackpool.
would rather have my cock gnawed off by an angry starving rat.
I would rather shoot myself than....
Go on a diet
Eat in Prezzo
Spend Christmas with my sister in law
Fly with Ryanair
Attend a school social event
Suffer fools gladly
There's plenty more but if I listed them all then I would just look like a miserable git.
Oh..wait....
Spend two days building IKEA flat packs so her ladyship can have a dressing room,,,oh hang on...
Go to London...
Wear crocs....
give a penny to Mike Ashley or Tesco businesses
Rather 'top funny' idea TFB but I suspect this is in the wrong bit of the forum given recent shenanigans..........
I would rather shoot myself than attend wedding or funeral. don't like both.
Watch a football match. Surely every iteration has been played out by now.
...go to one of those music festivals where everyone lives in the mud for 3 days.
I actually did shoot myself!!
Can't remember who put the eyes on the pic!! I thought it was dead funny though!!
John
Actually
I'd rather shoot myself (again!) rather than watch Coronation street, Emmersdale farm, Eastenders or indeed any other TV soap- Third rate actors with storylines that an eight year old could better
John
As im reading through these im think 'Yep' to almost all of them!
I like other phrases though such as 'id rather teabag a beartrap' or 'id rather shit in my hands and clap'.
Have to listen to sodding " wimmins hour" on Radio4 in the car again ( all fanny probs an man haters)
...watch any soap opera or any "talent" show.
My wife watches them in peace in her ironing room so I am free to watch the Hitler channel (as she calls it) on my own.
Cheers,
Neil.
...watch Big Brother, I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here, X-factor, Britain's Got Talent or any other of these z-list celebrity wannabee cringe-inducing programmes.
IKEA and or Dunelm
Eat twiglets
The problem with Hobbycraft (apart from the outrageous prices) is that everything they sell is a sort of solution to 1st world problems; to the extent that you cannot conceive how anyone has time to waste messing with this stuff (apart from the Lego, obviously).
Me, it would be an invite to visit a garden centre on a Sunday (Willington) just to marvel at the creative pricing.