Reply With QuoteSainsburys moist towlettes, like a cross between toilet paper and baby wipes. Amazing, my cornhole has never been so lacking of corn
Originally Posted by vagabond
From the movie Kenny:
Kenny: There's another classic example of someone having a two inch arsehole and us having installed only one inch piping.
Sainsburys moist towlettes, like a cross between toilet paper and baby wipes. Amazing, my cornhole has never been so lacking of corn
Will those of you using wet wipes and then flushing them down the toilet please stop it - http://m.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-31941482
Indeed. And wet wipes are for babies and Spanish showers. If you are wiping your own ring with them then you have issues, and probably anal thrush.
"Bite my shiny metal ass."
- Bender Bending Rodríguez
Bidet, na...quick skoosh with the Karcher....and while I'm on I give the kids they're weekly wash/de lousing...prepares them for a life in Her Majesty's finest detention centres
I find that using the gently torn pages from a rolex guarantee certificate removes even the most stubborn of cling ons
Having experimented with the same from a Grand Seiko I have to report that the quality of ink used is not as good as it leaves more marks than it removes .
But of course this has led me to adopting the Italian approach to such things
'Whatsa behind you does not matter "
I modified my Trunk Monkey to wipe mine for me... It have given him a new purpose since I purchased a car without a 'trunk'...
He uses fresh scented angora rabbit skin wipes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lt-AaiJlDkE
Last edited by AM94; 19th March 2015 at 10:17.
Toilet paper? Toilet paper? What kind of barbarian uses toilet paper? If you fall face first into a pile of dogturd, do you wash your face or do you just wipe it with paper? Right, what makes your bottom any different? Who ever thought it would be a good idea to clean the dirtiest crevice in the human body with just wiping it with paper?
This is how I roll (not just the sideburns, 'stache and decoration) and you don't need any extra space for it.
Tried that in Saudi. Certainly don't get my free hand in there though
Might try applying the water and the hand from the backside. Huge hairy hanging cojones tend to get in the way, if you're washing Uranus like the dude in my pic.
Not really enough room to get in from behind with the size of my arse.
No, wait...
Toilet paper? Toilet paper? What kind of barbarian uses toilet paper? If you fall face first into a pile of dogturd, do you wash your face or do you just wipe it with paper? Right, what makes your bottom any different? Who ever thought it would be a good idea to clean the dirtiest crevice in the human body with just wiping it with paper?
This is how I roll (not just the sideburns, 'stache and decoration) and you don't need any extra space for it.
You finger yourself?
That dude either has his arse and bollocks fitted back to front or is having a shifty tug.
And I'd be expecting a nail brush in the hand washing shot.
I'm sorry - net-net I think paper is winning the battle here.
Wash not wipe, I agree wholeheartedly with Possu. Since returning from Turkey over 20 years ago, it's been wash then use toilet paper to dry all the way.
I have a similar device to the one in the ad, except that mine is all metal and chromed.
Judging by the sunburnt look he probably couldn't use toilet rollToilet paper? Toilet paper? What kind of barbarian uses toilet paper? If you fall face first into a pile of dogturd, do you wash your face or do you just wipe it with paper? Right, what makes your bottom any different? Who ever thought it would be a good idea to clean the dirtiest crevice in the human body with just wiping it with paper?
This is how I roll (not just the sideburns, 'stache and decoration) and you don't need any extra space for it.
have to say though had few messy days in Egypt and those spray hoses rather than bidet were a god send
Does that include the red nail varnish?
Cycling arm warmers work quite well for raging diarrhea. A bit expensive though at Ł30 a wipe. Don't ask how I know.
I have a tip.
If your botty has been through the wars there is a very easy cheap way to give it a quality toilet paper wipe experience.
I find this tip especially useful in foreign climes where the local native food may produce significant after burn.
Any old cheap bog roll.
Blob of cheap moisturiser.
A smooth cooling experience that also helps to cleanse the more sensitive parts of one's Harris.
An added benefit is that if ever the ladies catch a glimpse of your exit port its not a red raw gateway to hell.
Well I literally just had a 'Ray Mears' survival moment around an hour ago. Currently in Chiang Mai in Thailand and my gastric system lost out in a battle with some street food.
In the market I was in when ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE the only toilet to be found consisted of basically a ditch in the floor, and of course no toilet paper. This was a true survival moment
I won't go into too many details around the nature of my survival, suffice to say I was no longer wearing any socks on my departure from the scene of the crime.
The page from my family album does have some pictures of my wife too.
Maybe the picture was taken after a visit from a certain member of the Swedish royalty?
Another top tip ; sudocream antiseptic narrier creanm , a blob rubbed into the harris and tweeds will pre-emptively protect from the caustic effects of daliance with the local foodstuff emporiums.
I'm 42 and my bumhole is like a swiss watch.
On that note I am happy to report that the Breitling B50 I was wearing performed superbly. The elapsed mission timer was of particular benefit
In for service every five years or so?
Hmmmm. I'll be looking out for that to appear in SC soon then.
Ah, understand. Any pictures of her cleaning her front porch?
Charmin!
It has just the right amount of traction and softness.
Some of the Andrex ones seem to spread rather than wipe, no traction :(
A friend of mine bought some moist toilet papers just to see what it was like. All went well until he miss took the toilet bleach wipes for the said moist toilet paper. He said he has never felt burning pain like it.
I'm a fan of any cheap supermarket economy range because I much prefer a rough wipe.
All of this talk of loo paper is all very well but one really needs a quality, Swiss-made dispenser to go with it. Ours is from a Swiss postal train.
Butt (geddit?) for the fact this is the G&D I could post some pics* of the toilets Ive been using of late, the lack of any form of paper having been the very least of my worries.
R
*I havent actually taken any photos, but you get the picture.
Ignorance breeds Fear. Fear breeds Hatred. Hatred breeds Ignorance. Break the chain.
Just so we can all get into the right frame of mind for the next General Election how about toilet paper featuring a picture of a politician of your choice ?
no, used dirty and its been round everyone's wrist
When I was a lad I remember dreading the visits to my great grandparents house in case I had to use the toilet. They had a drop toilet at the bottom of the garden. It was a wooden double seater so I suppose you could take a friend if one had to venture out late at night although the guzzunder was also readily available. Toilet paper was made of old newspaper torn into squares and threaded onto string.
Great grandad did grow the best tomatoes for miles around!
This thread disturbs me
Highly enlightening tips from the experts... Anything is better than the grease proof paper that is sold under the brand name izal
Wet wipes must be quite cost-ineffective, I'd have thought, ignoring the enviromental consequences. A quick spurt of baby lotion from a pump dispenser onto any reasonable brand of paper - that's the answer.
Are you wiping or moisturising?
Utter gold.
Rob.
Gold in faeces 'worth millions'
Toilet paper in Iceland? Not much trees there...so what is it made of? Mackerel?
Icelanders are a hardy breed so I presume it is made from the dried skin of pickled sharks (pickled in urine, naturally).
Last edited by markrlondon; 13th April 2015 at 21:16.
I can't believe that everybody is dismissing Izal - I mean, what other paper is "medicated"?!
Do you need to hold it in for two seconds every minute?All of this talk of loo paper is all very well but one really needs a quality, Swiss-made dispenser to go with it. Ours is from a Swiss postal train.
M.
Hmm...medicated, just what did they think they were treating?
Nice patina on that tat! What's it made of, platinum? (PTT = PlaTinum Tat?)All of this talk of loo paper is all very well but one really needs a quality, Swiss-made dispenser to go with it. Ours is from a Swiss postal train.
Last edited by Dan83bz; 13th April 2015 at 16:14.
I believe that a rag on a stick is popular in the North of the country.
Switzerland? I'd quite believe it.
It has been around a while, lookout for:
Recently I conducted a little experiment regarding the supposed flushability of 'flushable 'wet wipes.
I took a bowl of clean water, bunched up some of the decent Andrex loo paper that lives in my house and stuffed it in. In seconds stirring with a finger it dissolved into a mush, easily flushable.
Taking an Andrex flushable wet wipe and more clean water I dropped it in and stirred. And stirred. I put my hand in the water and tried to tear bits off it. No chance. Tugging one end between thumb and a finger I could not tear it in half with the rest gripped in my other fingers. You could make paracord out of it. No wonder most of the blocked drains in the UK are caused by these things.
3 Seashells
Very obscure movie reference....
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