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Thread: Mornington Crescent

  1. #151
    Craftsman jchlu's Avatar
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    Mornington Crescent

    Well, @Possu, it's rare that I can get to play the hero in such situations, but I must point out an exfil route to your predicament.
    While April 6th 2009 will live long in the memory of anyone in the Apennine belt due to the 6.3 magnitude earthquake that rocked central Italy, the (somewhat contentious to this day) significance of that date in the MC community, in Europe at least, and highlight of the Gulf of Taranto regional held (and interrupted by said tremor) in Perugia was the astounding quorum reached during adjudication on the "Double Jeopardy Holiday" gambit, when a two-thirds majority of those present agreed it was impossible to be left in spoon if there was more that a single widely recognised bank holiday in the preceding 23 day period.
    Look again at the calendar and the timing of your plight.
    I think I've said enough and once more Sir, the floor is yours...

  2. #152
    Master Possu's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jchlu View Post
    Well, @Possu, it's rare that I can get to play the hero in such situations, but I must point out an exfil route to your predicament.
    (...)
    Thank you, sir! A very gentlemanly deed indeed. Perfectly in the spirit of the game. What a nincompoop I've been! I believe I missed that because our National MC Federation has never been able to ratify any Double Jeopardy rules, as they would be in direct infringement of some ancient and outdated, yet applicable Finnish laws.

    I must repay your kindness and warn you of our present company. I believe that Madness' game is not entirely cricket. We have all seen the gameplay, which at face value looks awfully lot like the "Good ol' Pig & Whistle rundown", but there are frustrating elements of "Principalities gambit" acting in counterpoint and some of the strategy resembles "Peripheral Movement" plays of the grand master Razenda Marcus. I get the feeling that he is actually designing a completely new Trojan Horse type strategy as we speak. I believe we must act swiftly and get wise to this chicanery, or we might be applying the atrocious "Trojan Madness of TZ, 2015" in a couple of decades.

    I'll start by cooling the game to get some time to breathe. I will invoke "A Fog As Thick As Pea Soup" as the Gulf of Taranto precedent allows, and take us swiftly via Bond Street to Paddington. Before you make objections to the double move, see "The Unabridged Michaelmas Rules And Field Regulations, 1981" which clearly states that "In honour of Michael Bond, after being de-spooned, you are allowed to move from Bond Street straight to Paddington, if Michaelmas will follow in less than fourteen fortnights. This will also make all future Spoons of the game sticky with marmalade until Michaelmas, unless a Dishwasher is invoked after five o'clock PM on any day starting with the letter "T" in the following month."

  3. #153
    Quote Originally Posted by Possu View Post
    Thank you, sir! A very gentlemanly deed indeed. Perfectly in the spirit of the game. What a nincompoop I've been! I believe I missed that because our National MC Federation has never been able to ratify any Double Jeopardy rules, as they would be in direct infringement of some ancient and outdated, yet applicable Finnish laws.

    I must repay your kindness and warn you of our present company. I believe that Madness' game is not entirely cricket. We have all seen the gameplay, which at face value looks awfully lot like the "Good ol' Pig & Whistle rundown", but there are frustrating elements of "Principalities gambit" acting in counterpoint and some of the strategy resembles "Peripheral Movement" plays of the grand master Razenda Marcus. I get the feeling that he is actually designing a completely new Trojan Horse type strategy as we speak. I believe we must act swiftly and get wise to this chicanery, or we might be applying the atrocious "Trojan Madness of TZ, 2015" in a couple of decades.

    I'll start by cooling the game to get some time to breathe. I will invoke "A Fog As Thick As Pea Soup" as the Gulf of Taranto precedent allows, and take us swiftly via Bond Street to Paddington. Before you make objections to the double move, see "The Unabridged Michaelmas Rules And Field Regulations, 1981" which clearly states that "In honour of Michael Bond, after being de-spooned, you are allowed to move from Bond Street straight to Paddington, if Michaelmas will follow in less than fourteen fortnights. This will also make all future Spoons of the game sticky with marmalade until Michaelmas, unless a Dishwasher is invoked after five o'clock PM on any day starting with the letter "T" in the following month."
    Mwah hah ha hah, in typical Bond baddie meglomanic style laughter.

    I see, Mr Possu and Mr Jchlu that you have seen through my rudimentary, nay playful attempts to distract you with the "Good ol'Pig & Whistle" and that fact that the 2 of you are now hoping to work against me!! Well as much as I feel like I should explain my convoluted plan, to take over first Mornington Crescent and then the world, before placing you both in a nearly but not quite fatal situation whilst I delay unnecessarily I think this time we shall not waste time with that!!!

    Now is the time for the Austin Powers Vector, its time for London central and Piccadilly Circus and with some more maniacal laughter I also declare that all lifts are closed, escalators reversed and all pathways are blocked by overly keen buskers constantly playing Coldplay songs!! The game, gentleman, is mine

    Mwah hah ha hah

  4. #154
    Master sean's Avatar
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    Either I'm playing at a level well in advance of your own, or well below.

    Anyhow, I play Covent Garden via Tottenham Court Road.

  5. #155
    Grand Master Velorum's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sean View Post
    Either I'm playing at a level well in advance of your own, or well below.

    Anyhow, I play Covent Garden via Tottenham Court Road.
    Ah, haven't seen that one played for a while.

    Coincidentally, I am reading Bill Oddies latest memoir "Oi! That's My Bird!" which includes the old anecdote about him falling out with Tony Curtis during the 1987 Swiss Cottage match where he played this move whilst Tony had popped out to answer a call of nature. Apparently Tony was furious as he had wanted to move things to Richmond.

  6. #156
    Quote Originally Posted by Velorum View Post
    Ah, haven't seen that one played for a while.

    Coincidentally, I am reading Bill Oddies latest memoir "Oi! That's My Bird!" which includes the old anecdote about him falling out with Tony Curtis during the 1987 Swiss Cottage match where he played this move whilst Tony had popped out to answer a call of nature. Apparently Tony was furious as he had wanted to move things to Richmond.
    Well with Velorum spending his go talking up old anecdotes, I would like to claim his move under the Busy weekend of sport case, specifically the Grand Nation ruling, that if I remember correctly states "If a player talks the talk but fails to nominate his next move, then any player can claim his move if...the weekend has at least 3 major sporting events" So with the Grand National, Boat race, a grandprix and a golf major I claim his move

    So with Velorums move we go

    Westminster

    and then with a Darren Brown style "look in my hand" distraction move, I'll jump in with my slip under the level crossing and play

    West Ruislip

  7. #157
    Master Possu's Avatar
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    Tsk tsk tsk. I'm afraid I must declare that last double move illegal. You, sir, are quite out of your turn. Your memory of the Grand Nation ruling is flawless, but you conveniently forgot that in anticipation of the weekend I did invoke "A Fog As Thick As Pea Soup", the most basic of foggy weather phenomenons. If you care to study the "We couldn't ask for a nicer day, could we?" addition to the Black Pudding and other edibles variants of the Rulebook, you will find under the Pea Soup chapter a list of different effects of this fog type. I'd like to ask you to go straight to effect number 42. If I recall correctly, it states that all outside sporting events shall be postponed until the fog has cleared. I thus refute the last move.

    So, from Covent Garden forward. I shall use the doublage of the previous illegal movements, and my own, and I will also invoke the Black Ticket, so the first five movements will be known only to me. The sixth and last will leave us at All Saints.

  8. #158
    Grand Master Velorum's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Madness View Post
    Well with Velorum spending his go talking up old anecdotes.....
    I'm playing the long game and don't mind telling you now that play has moved on that you have fallen into a classic trap

    All will become apparent in time

    There aren't that many of us that use the Oddie triangulation these days but you underestimate us at your peril!

  9. #159
    Quote Originally Posted by Velorum View Post
    I'm playing the long game and don't mind telling you now that play has moved on that you have fallen into a classic trap

    All will become apparent in time

    There aren't that many of us that use the Oddie triangulation these days but you underestimate us at your peril!
    Veolorum, my dear fruit, it does seem that your attempts at the fiendishly tricky Oddie Variations have been nicked, nayed and thrice downplayed by Possu jumping in and playing his Black Ticket!

    I know of only one man who could successfully rescue the Oddie Variation from All Saints and he is the "One Who Shall Not Be Named....On A Weekend After Easter" according to the Celtic Tiger ruling in 2008. Even he would struggle, so to get my attempt at world domination back on track I will rumble us over to

    Chancery Lane for a brief stroll to the nearest jewellers to retrieve my safety deposit box

  10. #160
    Master sean's Avatar
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    Time to move to Harrow-on-the-Hill.

    I will also play my Sunday Restrictions card, so no stations in zone 3 are allowed for 24 hours. And no stopping at Greenwich for tea and scones. Wink, wink.

  11. #161
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    Quote Originally Posted by sean View Post
    Time to move to Harrow-on-the-Hill.

    I will also play my Sunday Restrictions card, so no stations in zone 3 are allowed for 24 hours. And no stopping at Greenwich for tea and scones. Wink, wink.
    Tricky because Greenwich is closed today for engineering works anyway, so invoking no stopping there would put us in a logistical quandary, can you have no stopping at a station where there are no trains calling?

    Can you have no stopping on a replacement bus service? If you can then there would be no buffet car for tea and scones.

    Has anyone got a copy of Stovold's to hand to clarify the matter? I really have no idea what should happen next.

  12. #162
    Master sean's Avatar
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    You should play Harold's About-turn and end up at Hainault.

  13. #163
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    That Sir, if I may say so is an excellent move. Subtle, nuanced and complex, but with just the right amount of boldness. And the best thing about it is that it opens up the double-reverse dog-leg to Westbourne Park.

  14. #164
    Quote Originally Posted by jl smout View Post
    That Sir, if I may say so is an excellent move. Subtle, nuanced and complex, but with just the right amount of boldness. And the best thing about it is that it opens up the double-reverse dog-leg to Westbourne Park.
    It does indeed, so up the double-reverse dog-leg to Westbourne Park and having got there I'm invoking the Grand Father Clock countdown as allowed under the Boston Challenge ruling of '92. Tick tock tick tock

  15. #165
    Master Possu's Avatar
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    It seems that I'm out of my league here. All my strategies were ruined during the last three turns. I'm just waltzing around in the dark, I'm afraid. Elephant & Castle.

  16. #166
    Master Wexford's Avatar
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    I'll seize my chance to capitalize on Possu's confusion, which also frees me to avoid that inevitable journey to Morden and let's face it, nobody wants that?
    I'll simply invoke the 1984 Pinner Penultimate Winner and play Oxford Circus and see if anyone has the gumption to apply the final coup de grace?

  17. #167
    Master sean's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wexford View Post
    ...frees me to avoid that inevitable journey to Morden and let's face it, nobody wants that?
    Morden. :)

  18. #168
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    Tempted to risk a Victoria Line bifurcation and play Vauxhall. But I'll take a safety shot to Warren Street.

  19. #169
    Quote Originally Posted by monogroover View Post
    Tempted to risk a Victoria Line bifurcation and play Vauxhall. But I'll take a safety shot to Warren Street.
    Oooooohhhhh say the crowd in response to that cunning safety shot. So playing to the ground and cocking a snoot at the Sunday Trading Conundrum Clause I'm realigning the game south of the river and taking us to Kew Gardens

  20. #170
    Master sean's Avatar
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    The next move screams out for a Havelock Runabout, but I like to play the long game, which means:

    NIP!

    And we end up at Oxford Circus.

  21. #171
    Was not expecting that!! I haven't seen NIP south of the river since the sordid events of Vladivostok last year and we all know that we should never mention what happened next!! Well if Sean can NIP then its time for a bit of rum, sodomy and the lash

    North Greenwich

  22. #172
    Master sean's Avatar
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    Time to up the ante. Sort the men from the boys, so to speak.

    Using the Library Transition in the Schubs Zuzwinkern format, and simultaneously playing the schwedisch bassonn, I move to Alexanderplatz.

  23. #173
    Quote Originally Posted by sean View Post
    Time to up the ante. Sort the men from the boys, so to speak.

    Using the Library Transition in the Schubs Zuzwinkern format, and simultaneously playing the schwedisch bassonn, I move to Alexanderplatz.
    Surely that's not a legal move?? As far as I can recall that particular transition was banned under Federal European Legislation Vol 14, Section 8, Chap 3, Part 9a, Para c, clause 192, sub clause f (not playable if the country the move is planned to has lost at least one World War). Any disagreement?

    I do realise that nullifying the move would lead all the rest of us open to Parasitical Drag problem but to that I would suggest Cockfosters

  24. #174
    Quote Originally Posted by Madness View Post
    Surely that's not a legal move?? As far as I can recall that particular transition was banned under Federal European Legislation Vol 14, Section 8, Chap 3, Part 9a, Para c, clause 192, sub clause f (not playable if the country the move is planned to has lost at least one World War). Any disagreement?

    I do realise that nullifying the move would lead all the rest of us open to Parasitical Drag problem but to that I would suggest Cockfosters

    Are we still waiting for a ruling?? As its now Jun I will be forced to change my move to Highgate

  25. #175
    Master sean's Avatar
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    Hah! You fell for it. Don't feel too bad, old boy, it's a tricky one to spot. Even Smith, B., the elder, didn't avoid that trap, and he made it all the way to Grand Jumper II status after the Manchester South match of 1954.

    With the commencement of the Summer timetable, I can now move to Rayners Lane.

    You lot have some ways to go to catch up. :)

  26. #176
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    No no no no no and no!

    Clearly it's the first of the month and therefore "White rabbits" the only course of action is to Whitechapel.

  27. #177
    Quote Originally Posted by Dazzler View Post
    No no no no no and no!

    Clearly it's the first of the month and therefore "White rabbits" the only course of action is to Whitechapel.
    Dazzler, have you not seen that Sean has commenced the summer timetable and therefore "White rabbits" can only be called on odd months of the summer. The Corsair Agreement of 02 clearly agreed that! So in response to Seans Rayners Lane I will advance the game with Lambeth North

  28. #178
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    Fischer's ruling allows me to simultaneously move Q-Kt8++ and Kilburn Park
    Last edited by jl smout; 1st June 2015 at 19:36.

  29. #179
    Quote Originally Posted by jl smout View Post
    Fischer's ruling allows me to simultaneously move Q-Kt8++ and Kilburn Park
    That's an unexpected turn of events!! Not sure if Smouty (can I call you smouty?) is trying to blind side us or tempt us into the dark areas of zone 6?? Well I for one am not risking getting stuck out in the zone 6 sticks but will tentatively play Buckhurst Hill

  30. #180
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    Right then in that case, under the Nash Convention, I'm going to Ongar!

  31. #181
    Master AlphaOmega's Avatar
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    If we're in Ongar, I might take us briefly to the secret nuclear bunker.

    I say 'secret', but in reality it is anything but.

    It just cropped up in a conversation I had with the Captain of the local bowls club you see. He telephoned me this evening.

    "Alpha, it's Grantby."

    "Hello, how are things?"

    "Good. Just wanted to ensure it was you."

    "Well, you called me. What can I do for you?"

    "I'm worried about our next match. Could be a cruncher. We're going to face the Vicarage first team."

    "Oh, that's going to be tough."

    "Yes. I've heard they want to nobble our best players."

    "Not while I've got my senses, they won't. Disgusting."

    "No, I said 'nobble'. You misheard."

    "Ah. Go on."

    "I suggest we lie low. In the bunker."

    "Really? Must we - it's only a bowls match."

    "Can't be too careful old boy."

    "Alright. As it happens, I'm in the middle of a game of Mornington Crescent, last chap put us at Ongar. Not too far away."

    "Good, good. Suggest your next move would be to drop your tail at Brentwood and catch the overland to Stratford."

  32. #182
    Quote Originally Posted by AlphaOmega View Post
    If we're in Ongar, I might take us briefly to the secret nuclear bunker.

    I say 'secret', but in reality it is anything but.

    It just cropped up in a conversation I had with the Captain of the local bowls club you see. He telephoned me this evening.

    "Alpha, it's Grantby."

    "Hello, how are things?"

    "Good. Just wanted to ensure it was you."

    "Well, you called me. What can I do for you?"

    "I'm worried about our next match. Could be a cruncher. We're going to face the Vicarage first team."

    "Oh, that's going to be tough."

    "Yes. I've heard they want to nobble our best players."

    "Not while I've got my senses, they won't. Disgusting."

    "No, I said 'nobble'. You misheard."

    "Ah. Go on."

    "I suggest we lie low. In the bunker."

    "Really? Must we - it's only a bowls match."

    "Can't be too careful old boy."

    "Alright. As it happens, I'm in the middle of a game of Mornington Crescent, last chap put us at Ongar. Not too far away."

    "Good, good. Suggest your next move would be to drop your tail at Brentwood and catch the overland to Stratford."
    Oh the secret bunker, it's only a bowls match approach, haven't seen that style of platform shunt for a long time!

    Well I feel the need to take us back to town so with a gentle dabble into the Nandos variations I play Covent Garden and invoke the weekend no entry rule!!

  33. #183
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    Surprised we've not yet seen a triple reverse switchback invoked - permissible only rarely under Article 7.8.4 (ii) of the Gothernburg Convention ruling, but only because today's date is 6/6. Come on chaps, keep up! So I switchback to CHORLEYWOOD!.

  34. #184
    Master Wexford's Avatar
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    How I needed that? I've been sitting here simmering in Nidd for what seems like an eternity. Now I'm free to pick up the 'strategy' again and that means I can throw down Whitechapel

  35. #185
    Quote Originally Posted by Wexford View Post
    How I needed that? I've been sitting here simmering in Nidd for what seems like an eternity. Now I'm free to pick up the 'strategy' again and that means I can throw down Whitechapel
    Does that not open up several different lines of strategy and risk getting all players on your left to be banished to Nidd for at least 3 revolutions? If so, its brave and daring and just the sort of thing this 21st century version needs!! So in that vein its out with the old and in with the newest stop in the game Wood Lane.

  36. #186
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    Well not since the Belgrade commitee of '24 voted their emergency overide of the Fontington Fountain rule has there been such a delay in proceedings. Therefore revert to Euston for further direction.

  37. #187
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dazzler View Post
    Well not since the Belgrade commitee of '24 voted their emergency overide of the Fontington Fountain rule has there been such a delay in proceedings. Therefore revert to Euston for further direction.
    Euston, are you sure about that? Surely you mean Euston Square?

  38. #188
    Master Possu's Avatar
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    Oh, please. Do not try to steer us towards an Edwardian Gambit under faux Worcestershire ruling. We will not fall for that, sir. I will have a decent nap at Charing Cross.

  39. #189
    Master sean's Avatar
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    Parsons Green

    For the less advanced players, please note today's date.

  40. #190
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    Under Section 7, Paragraph 3, of the revised Broad's Declaration, (signed 13.vii.1889), if there has been a lull in the game for more than 4 months I believe I can play Notting Hill Gate without the possibility of my spending time locked in the rubber punishment suit. Or some such like.

  41. #191
    Craftsman Richard.'s Avatar
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    Except for the Riseborough rule. Hillmarton Road.

  42. #192
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    Just a few bits of housekeeping.

    Subs are now due, ladies and gentlemen. The usual fee of 25 guineas must be paid to the gatekeeper of the South Lodge (turn left when you get to Ecclesall Road, you can't miss it).

    In return, the gatekeeper will give you a notebook with a code word. Please use the Enigma machine you were all sent at Christmas to decipher the message. Don't forget that you'll need to swap your plug boards to avoid any duplication, and those of you using the Kriegsmarine version may need to check your day key settings.

    When you have deciphered the message, drink a bottle of XO and have the word tattooed on your forehead. This will enable you to gain entry to The In & Out where this year's Mornington Crescent Championship will be held.

    Oh, one other thing - due to Brexit, Nidd has been deemed unlawful from now on. Sorry about that.

  43. #193
    Master sean's Avatar
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    Elephant & Castle.

  44. #194
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    An invalid move. Ruled as invalid by the Mornington Crefcent Affociation in 1734, after it was played four minutes earlier at half-past five. To be fair, the clocks at that time were wildly in-accurate, so it could have been a few minutes either way.
    Last edited by jl smout; 5th August 2016 at 13:15.

  45. #195
    Master sean's Avatar
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    Fine. :(

    Astor Place. Yes, that's right. ASTOR PLACE!

  46. #196
    Master AlphaOmega's Avatar
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    Let's regroup at Green Park.

    If you've been paying attention, you'll know what that means.

  47. #197
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    Snow on the line at Green Park, relocate to Bond Street per the Winter Council meeting of 1973 - 43.2.3.6a directive.

  48. #198
    Craftsman Kris's Avatar
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    Northbound then, to Great Portland Street

  49. #199
    Grand Master markrlondon's Avatar
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    This is a stealth play, isn't it. I know how it looks and I'm on to you.

    Consequently, I play the Bull and Bush Floodgate Control Centre by way of Stop 'Q' between Victoria and Green Park on the Victoria Line.

  50. #200
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    I haven't witnessed a proper Rearside Illegal since the Rangoon top banana of -68. I'm not entirely sure if its cricket at the dawn of impersonators' edge. Thus I will call up Willesden Junction, thank you very much!

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