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Thread: TOTALLY RUBBISH films you've watched recently...

  1. #101
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    Quote Originally Posted by SimonK View Post
    The Expendables was on the telly the other night. Now normally I'm up for a bit of Jason Statham nonsense, but this film was unwatchable and I switched over after 15 minutes.

    +1 to that.
    Very, very bad movie, 30 years past its sell-by date, would have suited Sly or Arnie in the 80's.

    I enjoyed Jack Reacher, but I thought the casting of 5-foot-nothing Tom Cruise as "Man Mountain" title character ruined the whole series. Maybe he's the only big star they could get for the role?


    A new one for the list - Storage 24. I really wanted to enjoy it as a good British made monster movie, but Noel Clarke was the only good thing about it.

  2. #102
    Master oldandgrumpy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sevvy View Post
    That wouldn't have been "Werewolves vs Strippers" by any chance would it? How does stuff like this get commissioned.
    Took a total of 38.00 at the (UK) box office when first released.

  3. #103
    Master AM94's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sevvy View Post
    That wouldn't have been "Werewolves vs Strippers" by any chance would it? How does stuff like this get commissioned.
    Now that is dissapointing. ...werewolves and strippers... What is not to like?!

    I would have green-lighted that production without even seeing a show reel.

  4. #104
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    Quote Originally Posted by AM94 View Post
    You can pipe down... You ruined WWZ! ;)...
    But what about my perfectly chiseled pecs? Do they count for nothing?! ;)

  5. #105
    Snowpiercer. Worse than all listed so far.

  6. #106
    Has Transendance been mentioned yet..?

    A modern take on Lawn Mowermad perhaps....and that was relatively good by comparison.

    Sadly I am the type that once started I have to see it through to the bitter end.....arrghhhh the hours of my precious life I have wasted.


    K

  7. #107
    Master MerlinShepherd's Avatar
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    No I agree. The Expendables ought to have been called The Unwatchables. I watched Terry Gilliam's latest offering "The Zero Theorem" last night. He ought to have left it after Brazil, this one was a tedium-fest.

  8. #108
    Sharknado. On the telly the other night. About sharks in a tornado.

    Actually watched it for quite a bit and couldn't take my eyes off it. Posssibly the worst film ever.

  9. #109
    Master zelig's Avatar
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    Watched this a while back...

    The Fountain (2006)
    Spanning three parallel stories over a millennium, 'The Fountain' is a story of love, death, spirituality, and the fragility of our existence in this

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0414993/

    Utter twaddle... IMHO.

    z

  10. #110
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    Quote Originally Posted by scottbombedout View Post
    Sharknado. On the telly the other night. About sharks in a tornado.

    Actually watched it for quite a bit and couldn't take my eyes off it. Possibly the worst film ever.
    Agreed! So bad that I watched it twice on separate nights. Fascinatingly bad

  11. #111
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    Before Dawn.

    Oh. Dear.

    Recently upgraded the to the movies package by SKY so watching all sorts of rubbish at the moment.
    I've always enjoyed a good zombie movie - this was NOT a good zombie movie.

    Written, directed by and starring Paddy from Emmerdale. Need i say more? I can't think of one single redeeming point.

  12. #112
    Warched the sequel to 300 and even the main characters were misplaced. Eva Green as the ultimate female evil just does not work at all..

  13. #113
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    Sharknado was deliciously bad, bordering on being a joke

  14. #114
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    There's been some bad ones recently but a stand out is The Grey...dross!

  15. #115
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    The new planet of the apes.

    Predictable. Boring. Slow.

  16. #116
    Master Bernard's Avatar
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    Mentioned before: "Godzilla"

    My wife and I were taken to it by a friend (he is a nice guy, but let's not discuss his taste in movies...).
    An utter waste of time, I will never regain those hours of my life ;-)

  17. #117
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    Sharknado! So bad it was good.

  18. #118
    Quote Originally Posted by jonsm88 View Post
    Sharknado! So bad it was good.
    There's a sequel you know, it was on last night, 'Avalanche Sharks', can you guess the plot?

    Brighty

  19. #119
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    Quote Originally Posted by Brighty View Post
    There's a sequel you know, it was on last night, 'Avalanche Sharks', can you guess the plot?

    Brighty
    Oh my god. What channel? My missus will be over the moon!

  20. #120
    Dunno, but I assume syfy channel as it's the home of these type of things, Sharktopus, Piranhaconda, Dinocroc v Supergator, etc etc.

    Apparently Avalanche shark is more of a sequel to Sand sharks than sharknado, but in a similar vein. There is though a sharknado 2 on the cards thankfully.

    Hours of viewing there

    Brighty

  21. #121
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    Quote Originally Posted by Brighty View Post
    Dunno, but I assume syfy channel as it's the home of these type of things, Sharktopus, Piranhaconda, Dinocroc v Supergator, etc etc.

    Apparently Avalanche shark is more of a sequel to Sand sharks than sharknado, but in a similar vein. There is though a sharknado 2 on the cards thankfully.

    Hours of viewing there

    Brighty

    Great stuff. I'm gonna get into all of them.

  22. #122
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    Quote Originally Posted by kevkojak View Post
    I enjoyed Jack Reacher, but I thought the casting of 5-foot-nothing Tom Cruise as "Man Mountain" title character ruined the whole series. Maybe he's the only big star they could get for the role?
    Cruise actually bought the rights for all 17 novels, and naturally made himself the star. Makes no sense whatsoever. It's the same as Arnold Schwarzenegger playing Stephen Hawking in a biopic.

  23. #123
    Master wildheart's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kas9t82 View Post
    World War Z, utter crap. Must be the worst i've seen in 10 years.
    Yea unfortunately I paid to watch that crap!

  24. #124
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    Bermuda Tentacles (Sy-Fy channel)
    Avalanche Sharks (Sy-Fy channel), about sharks that live and swim in the snow, eat skiers obviously.

    Great fun to watch though.

  25. #125
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    Syfy has some really bad ones but they are meant to be bad! Don't judge them!

  26. #126
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    The Spirit.

    Looked good on paper with a ghost hero type bloke (I know!) coming back to fight for law and order with Scarlett Johansson and Samuel L Jackson as the bad guys. Filmed in a Sin City-ish style.

    Turned it off after enduring it for half an hour - what a crock!
    Cheers,
    Neil.

    My Speedmaster website:

    http://www.freewebs.com/neil271052

  27. #127
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    April Rain.

    Luke Goss must of been bribed into starring in this pos.

  28. #128
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    The Quiet Ones, made the mistake of paying to watch this on SKY last night, utter dross.

    Re Danny Dyer only making crap films (He's not in the quiet ones by the way) you should check out Severance, one of my favourite films.

  29. #129
    Master Thom4711's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Diel View Post
    The Quiet Ones, made the mistake of paying to watch this on SKY last night, utter dross.
    Couldn't agree more. I rented this from iTunes and switched it off before the end. Went back later for the ending (in case the twist was any cop) and regretted it- what a poor film!

  30. #130
    I saw "Only God Forgives" recently with Ryan Gosling and Kristin Scott Thomas. Made by the same people that made "Drive" which was a great film. This, however, was complete rubbish.

  31. #131
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    crap film

    VANISHED.

    WHAT A WASTE OF 96 MINUTES OF MY LIFE.

    Still cant get my head round whatbit is about. My wife picked it up at tescos
    apparently it was in the top ten!
    nobody famous in it.

    truly shocking!

  32. #132
    Master Caruso's Avatar
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    Under the Skin

    Story of a female alien prowling Glasgow streets in a transit van bodysnatching blokes off the street. Very light on dialogue, and much of it unscripted from amateurs. If it hadn't been for Scarlett Johansson getting her kit off every 10 mins or so I would have turned it off.

  33. #133
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    Sin City 2 - crap, other than Eva Green getting her kit off and Jessica Alba it had hardly any redeming qualities at all. If you're considering going to watch it, don't.

  34. #134
    Master ryanb741's Avatar
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    Noah. What a load of cr@p! Don't watch it

  35. #135
    Inside llewyn Davis - I'm all for a bit of art house on occasion but the missus and I just couldn't believe how dreadful this film was. 5 star reviews all over the place but I can't think of a single redeeming feature. Best avoided imho!

  36. #136
    Master thieuster's Avatar
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    Snowpiercer.

    Gets 7/10 on IMDB, but I fail to see how. 126mins. of my life I won't get back.

    Menno

  37. #137
    I saw five minutes of Machete Kills. I get that it's meant to be bad in Grindhouse style, but that was enough for me.

  38. #138
    Master Albellisimo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Diel View Post
    The Quiet Ones, made the mistake of paying to watch this on SKY last night, utter dross.

    Re Danny Dyer only making crap films (He's not in the quiet ones by the way) you should check out Severance, one of my favourite films.
    You going on about Dyer again.......? Christ

  39. #139
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    One expects "Need for Speed" to be bad, but trust me, it's even worse than you imagine guys.
    The script is a joke, and the acting truly laughable. I seriously can not comprehend how they spend serious money on cr@p like this.

    Also, "The Love Punch" is a very, very bad film. You see the two leads and expect something at least mediocre. But no. Absolutely not. Just a very bad, boring and not a all entertaining film

    Alex

  40. #140
    Master igorRIJEKA's Avatar
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    Lone survivor and need for speed.

  41. #141
    Master Jon Kenney's Avatar
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    Locke.

    Tom Hardy is explosive and flat out thrilling - The Wall Street Journal

    A Powerhouse of suspense and fierce emotion - Rolling Stone

    WTF!

    95 minutes of some tit sitting in a car talking on the frickin phone!!!

  42. #142
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chriddler View Post
    Sharknado was deliciously bad, bordering on being a joke
    Had a great time watching this with the missus and kids ; playing guess what happens next!

  43. #143
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    Quote Originally Posted by sevvy View Post
    I saw "Only God Forgives" recently with Ryan Gosling and Kristin Scott Thomas. Made by the same people that made "Drive" which was a great film. This, however, was complete rubbish.
    Quite liked it ; had low expectations but its admirably crazy in its approach.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by thieuster View Post
    Snowpiercer.

    Gets 7/10 on IMDB, but I fail to see how. 126mins. of my life I won't get back.

    Menno

    Agree total guff

  44. #144
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    A thread on decent films would have been MUCH shorter!

  45. #145
    Craftsman mattlad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by UKMike View Post
    A thread on decent films would have been MUCH shorter!
    Probably!

  46. #146
    Craftsman mattlad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by teadazed View Post
    Absolutely.
    Sometimes a film can be so bad it is entertaining
    I found that with Love Honour and Obey. Rubbish, yet I sort of liked it.

    On the other hand the same writers,production team & cast made Final Cut which I thought was utter carp..........

  47. #147
    Master thegoat's Avatar
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    I really really wanted to like Frank.
    Alas , it was not for me.
    It's back to Sharknado I'm afraid.

  48. #148
    Had the misfortune to watch White House Down, normally love a bit of mindless action but i genuinely felt dumber after it

  49. #149
    The English Patient...complete rubbish.

  50. #150
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    "Lincoln" - great cast, historically accurate - but unbelievably tedious.

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