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Thread: TOTALLY RUBBISH films you've watched recently...

  1. #1001
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    Quote Originally Posted by wileeeeeey View Post
    6 underground was awful. Truly awful.
    Completely agree. It really could have been good if it had a good script. Clearly Michael Bay was hoping to make it into a franchise.

    Holmes and Watson was a film I couldn’t even keep muted on screen while I was trying to sleep on a flight. Horrific.

  2. #1002
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    With 6 Underground, it wasn't so much the incoherence of the plot that ruined it--that's to be expected and isn't why we go to see this type of movie--it was the incoherence of the direction, especially in the action scenes. The car chases were all over the place: with each cut the location changed and bore no connection to the prior location, so there was no flow to the chase and you had no idea where anyone was or how they were doing. All the explosions were good, but it was too much hard work to understand what was going on.

    With all the money and the experience of the director, it's an achievement to make such a bad film.

  3. #1003
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    The recent Terminator movie was disappointing. Very clichéd and rather overexaggerrated CGI. 4/10.

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  4. #1004
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    Quote Originally Posted by wileeeeeey View Post
    6 underground was awful. Truly awful.
    Lasted until they deep sixed the driver then i did the same to this tripe then tried a film called Paradise also on netflix just more rubbish
    I FEEL LIKE I'M DIAGONALLY PARKED IN A PARALLEL UNIVERSE

  5. #1005
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    The search for Santa Paws

    Truly awful, and not in a good way. The only positive is that I’ve wrestled back control of film choice for the foreseeable future :-)

  6. #1006
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    Quote Originally Posted by pugster View Post
    Ad Astra - no plot and made no sense whatsoever to me .
    I really liked Ad Astra. Was kinda like Apocalypse Now, in space! But I can understand the dislike. The friend I saw it with came out saying exactly what you have.

  7. #1007
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    Mary Poppins Returns - I wish she hadn't!
    My 2 kids insisted I watch this with them - 2 years of my life I'm never getting back.

  8. #1008
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    Quote Originally Posted by wileeeeeey View Post
    6 underground was awful. Truly awful.
    I didn't make it past the first car chase.

    Another pearl was The Snowman starring Michael Fassbender. It had all the markings of a decent thriller, great cast, decent plot.. but it failed terribly at nearly every turn.

    eta
    And the Val Kilmer voice dubbing was too weird to ignore.
    Last edited by Sausage; 2nd January 2020 at 13:38.

  9. #1009
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    Quote Originally Posted by ENES View Post
    Mary Poppins Returns - I wish she hadn't!
    My 2 kids insisted I watch this with them - 2 years of my life I'm never getting back.
    Jeez, and I thought the Lord of the Rings extended trilogy back-to-back was a slog...

  10. #1010
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    John Wick 3 Parabellum.

    Just absolute fight scene fest from first minute; story depth on a par with the weekly Bash st kids in the Beano or was it fornightly.

    Disappointed since John Wick was good and refreshing and JonWick two was surprisingly tolerable for a sequel.

    B

  11. #1011
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    Quote Originally Posted by Brian View Post
    John Wick 3 Parabellum.

    Just absolute fight scene fest from first minute; story depth on a par with the weekly Bash st kids in the Beano or was it fornightly.

    Disappointed since John Wick was good and refreshing and JonWick two was surprisingly tolerable for a sequel.

    B
    Stopped watching when the 2nd chase started as soon as the knife throws in Chinatown ended.

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  12. #1012
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    Quote Originally Posted by Brian View Post
    John Wick 3 Parabellum.

    Just absolute fight scene fest from first minute; story depth on a par with the weekly Bash st kids in the Beano or was it fornightly.

    Disappointed since John Wick was good and refreshing and JonWick two was surprisingly tolerable for a sequel.

    B
    I tuned out from it after about half an hour. I may go back to it and stick it out, but I’m in no hurry to. I agree that the first was great, less enamoured with the second one though.

  13. #1013
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    Quote Originally Posted by sean View Post
    Jeez, and I thought the Lord of the Rings extended trilogy back-to-back was a slog...
    Believe me - it seemed like 2 years!!

  14. #1014
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    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainRockNRoll View Post
    I really liked Ad Astra. Was kinda like Apocalypse Now, in space! But I can understand the dislike. The friend I saw it with came out saying exactly what you have.
    Ooof 2 hrs of Brad and daddy issues

    Once upon a in hollyweird...Was it a pastiche, parody or buddy film, I am still not sure, watchable but I felt ultimately unsatisfying.
    Although Roy’s dog at the finale stole it for me.
    Last edited by Passenger; 3rd January 2020 at 01:46.

  15. #1015
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alasdairmc View Post
    I tuned out from it after about half an hour. I may go back to it and stick it out, but I’m in no hurry to. I agree that the first was great, less enamoured with the second one though.
    Terrible film. I'm all for brain-out scrap, explosions, chase etc but this was atrocious. I watched it until the end in the hope it would get better but it got worse. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry at the final scene. Surely tees up for a JW4?

  16. #1016
    Quote Originally Posted by Brian View Post
    John Wick 3 Parabellum.

    Just absolute fight scene fest from first minute; story depth on a par with the weekly Bash st kids in the Beano or was it fornightly.

    Disappointed since John Wick was good and refreshing and JonWick two was surprisingly tolerable for a sequel.

    B
    I watched this a couple of days ago, and really wish I hadn't.
    It was utter crap, but I almost expect that as what seems to happen with so many sequels of what were originally good concepts is that they become formulaic, fantasy nonsense, almost parodies of the original (Mission Impossible is another example).

    p.s. I'm editing my post as I remembered that there were some good bits - Halle Berry's dogs (Belgian Malinois)!
    Last edited by Stanford; 24th January 2020 at 22:04.

  17. #1017
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    Well I confess I am ‘THE’ person who thought after 1/2 bottle of Jamesons.. yeh lets pay £3.49 to watch “Rambo Last Blood”.....at least i did not pay £4.49 for HD..

    What the actual F was that all about ! Must be in list for worst film of 2019 or even decade “Cats” would probably been a better choice..

    Be thankful you haven’t seen it and hopefully it really was “Last Blood”.....

  18. #1018
    Holmes & Watson. One of the worst films ever

  19. #1019
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    Quote Originally Posted by xellos99 View Post
    Holmes & Watson. One of the worst films ever
    That!

  20. #1020
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    Quote Originally Posted by pugster View Post
    Ad Astra - no plot and made no sense whatsoever to me .
    I finally watched Ad Astra. Rubbish indeed.

  21. #1021
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    Siberia. Holy moly, what a stinker. What the hell was Keanu thinking?

  22. #1022
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    Uncut Gems is the worst film I've seen in years. Genuinely terrible. Whoever wrote in the good movies thread that it was worth the watch is a ****!
    Last edited by wileeeeeey; 5th February 2020 at 09:32.

  23. #1023
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    Quote Originally Posted by xellos99 View Post
    the dead don't die.

    oh dear that was bad and a huge missed opportunity to make a good zombie movie
    I was hoping for something fun, given the cast. Very dull and self aware.

  24. #1024
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    Terminator Dark Fate. The worst Terminator to date.

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  25. #1025
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    The VelociPastor


    "After losing his parents, a priest travels to China, where he inherits a mysterious ability that allows him to turn into a dinosaur. At first horrified by this new power, a hooker convinces him to use it to fight crime. And ninjas."

    Chris.

  26. #1026
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    Quote Originally Posted by chris2982 View Post
    The VelociPastor


    "After losing his parents, a priest travels to China, where he inherits a mysterious ability that allows him to turn into a dinosaur. At first horrified by this new power, a hooker convinces him to use it to fight crime. And ninjas."

    Chris.
    I had to check that it really existed.

    Did it meet your expectations?

    Almost intrigued enough to watch it. Must resist......

    Tapatapatapatapatalk

  27. #1027
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wimm View Post
    I had to check that it really existed.

    Did it meet your expectations?

    Almost intrigued enough to watch it. Must resist......

    Tapatapatapatapatalk

    Haha.. yes it is real...
    I suppose it did meet expectations as I didn't have any for it.

    I've seen worse.

  28. #1028
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    The Thomas Crown Affair

    The 1968 original with Steve McQueen. I'm a big fan of period cinema but this was utter bollix! Style over substance, a total yawn-fest.

    In fact, I find most of McQueen's films pretty lame; IMO he's not much of an actor and as for The King of Cool, meh!

  29. #1029
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    I haven't see Cats but this seems to be its greatest success: The Razzies...9 nominations!

  30. #1030
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    Horse Girl on Netflix.

    Absolutely no idea - suspect it's a film about mental health but still.

    Genuinely thought it was going to be good as it was intriguing me quite a way through the film and I love Sundance films. But no.

    Although has left me with a crush on Alison Brie

  31. #1031
    Quote Originally Posted by senwar View Post
    Horse Girl on Netflix.

    Absolutely no idea - suspect it's a film about mental health but still.

    Genuinely thought it was going to be good as it was intriguing me quite a way through the film and I love Sundance films. But no.

    Although has left me with a crush on Alison Brie
    +1
    Saw it last night with my wife, it was poor story telling, one of those films you have to see to the end to find out what happens but leaves you disappointed.

    As previous post, Alison Brie has a certain charm.

  32. #1032
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    The Hunt. Oh dear!!

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  33. #1033
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    Quote Originally Posted by SiSetts View Post
    The Hunt. Oh dear!!

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    Was very surprised to see this, before I realised you probably mean a recent movie of that name and not the 2012 one with Mads Mikkelsen (which is great).

  34. #1034
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    Blade Runner 2049 - Absolutely dire.

  35. #1035
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    Quote Originally Posted by 50kopek View Post
    Was very surprised to see this, before I realised you probably mean a recent movie of that name and not the 2012 one with Mads Mikkelsen (which is great).
    Yes I was talking about the 2020 film. Will check out the 2012 film, I can't recall watching that one.

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  36. #1036
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    The Condemned. I should of known better when it said it was a WWE film!!

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  37. #1037
    Grand Master zelig's Avatar
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    Don't let the trailer fool you. In a word... banal

    ...based on this definition

    banal
    [ buh-nal, -nahl, beyn-l ]
    adjective : devoid of freshness or originality; hackneyed; trite:

    z
    Last edited by zelig; 4th April 2020 at 17:28.

  38. #1038
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    It’s been a long time since there was a post in this thread but ........ The New Mutants.

    I was forced to watch this the other night and it is complete shite. Don’t get me wrong,i am a big fan of Marvel stuff and these type of films in general, but this was just 90 minutes of utter rubbish. A sort of teen angst attempt at a Marvel/horror/coming of age bunch of nonsense with,it seems,a budget the size of my son’s pocket money.

  39. #1039
    Grand Master oldoakknives's Avatar
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    Netflix. Take your pick!
    Started out with nothing. Still have most of it left.

  40. #1040
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    Fisherman's Friend's

    What a load of complete and utter dross.

    Overly-twee Cornish-ness on a puke-inducing level. Even the 'flash Londoners' characters were cringeworthy to watch.

    It was never going to be great, but it had potential to be so much better than it was.

  41. #1041
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    I watched 2019's Brightburn with Elizabeth Banks, among others. The high rating on my cable guide drew me to watch it.

    Terrible...an utter waste of my time!


  42. #1042
    The Baker with Damian Lewis.

    The plot, a hitman wants to go straight and goes underground as a baker in a small Welsh village could have come from an Ealing comedy but it’s so poorly executed (that pun there was funnier than anything you’ll hear in the film!)
    The missus thought it was ok but I picked up my iPad after 10mins and was so bored I ended up buying a load more NATO straps I don’t need.

  43. #1043
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    I’ve mentioned it before but Murder On The Orient Express is on Channel 4 tonight. Some of the funniest foreign accents since ‘Allo ‘Allo! and overall just a bit of an excuse for Branagh to show his skills. Terrible (IMHO obviously).

  44. #1044
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    TOTALLY RUBBISH films you've watched recently...

    I think I slaughtered the above first time round, but sometimes you’d better make sure. Yes, the original (film) was a materpiece. The remake with Ustinov was average. Despite being in my opinion the best Poirot in the series, Suchet’s MOTOE is appalling, infused with some mysticism that is neither here nor there.
    Well despite the respect I have for this wonderful Shakespearian actor, Branagh’’s Orient Express is yet on another level of bad.
    'Against stupidity, the gods themselves struggle in vain' - Schiller.

  45. #1045
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    My wife saw the trailer last night and declared that it looked great so I may be giving it another go

    I may just shut my eyes and think of Arthur Bostrom.

  46. #1046
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    I quite like trashy films and the first Sharknado film or two were ok but Sharknado 5: Global Swarming (saw last week) is utter dross.

  47. #1047
    Grand Master zelig's Avatar
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    This has an IMDB rating of 7.8...



    https://www.imdb.com/title/tt5095552/

    Which is an order of magnitude too high... it is truly terrible.

    z

  48. #1048
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saint-Just View Post
    Despite being in my opinion the best Poirot in the series, Suchet’s MOTOE is appalling, infused with some mysticism that is neither here nor there.
    I thought Suchet's version was excellent. The edgy and unique-in-the-series style of direction, which drove home the discomfort and disorientation of the journey and its events, gave the whole episode an appropriately gruesome and off-kilter atmosphere.

    Last edited by sean; 12th November 2020 at 20:33.

  49. #1049
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    Rebecca - waiting for something to happen... maybe it did but I gave up an hour and a half in

  50. #1050
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    Quote Originally Posted by oldoakknives View Post
    Netflix. Take your pick!
    We have a winner!!!!!!

    This thread can now be closed.

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