My condolences. Words fail me.
As a parent, probably the worst thing that I can ever imagine happening to anyone. Hopefully all the good wishes and sympathy, mine included, from our community will provide a small amount of comfort and we'll see Tony back sometime. His contributions are valued and missed.
Precisely. Well said.Originally Posted by MattMM
My thoughts are with you and your family. You will have the resilience to come through this terrible time, and we will wait to hear from you again.
Such sad news.. My condolences to Tony and his family
I'm completely useless with words in situations like this, which is why I usually say nothing. I read about this on Facebook yesterday and left a comment there. I kept thinking about it all day and can't imagine Tony's pain but I hope he reads this thread and knows that his forum friends are there for him if he needs them.
Eddie
Whole chunks of my life come under the heading "it seemed like a good idea at the time".
My condolences Tony, my thoughts and prayers are with you at this terrible time.
Cheers
Simon
Ralph Waldo Emerson: We ask for long life, but 'tis deep life, or noble moments that signify. Let the measure of time be spiritual, not mechanical.
So sorry to hear this. Desperately sad, I can't imagine what this must feel like. My thoughts are with you, Tony.
So terribly sad. I am sorry for your loss Tony.
Gray
Hi Tony
We are all thinking of you at this very difficult time....
Neil
I extend my deepest condolences.
Awful news, so sorry for you and your family's loss. R.I.P Adam.
Deep sadness at hearing this terrible news.RIP Adam.
Tony although we have never met and exchanged only a few words, your tragedy has preoccupied my thoughts through the night. This morning words still fail me. I am so sorry. You have friends here.
Peter.
I’m very touched by the comments on this thread, and although I hadn’t intended to I do want to say a few words in response.
My instinct in times of crisis is to withdraw within myself. I am, by nature, a very private person anyway and the notion of using Facebook or an Internet forum to make public such an acutely personal issue was something that initially I wouldn’t even have considered. However, after many conversations with Adam’s immediate family in the US (he’d been living there with his sister/my daughter from a young age, which in itself is another painful story) the view we all took was that anything positive that might be achieved as a consequence of this tragedy would make the pain a little more bearable. In particular, we decided that we would attempt to do what we could to help the fight to raise awareness of suicide generally, hence the link to the fundraising page in Tim’s very kind post.
Adam had a troubled life, and his depression and feelings of personal angst prevented him from finding happiness in any real sense. However, what we didn’t know until recently was that he had himself helped a number of people who had found themselves contemplating suicide, more than one of whom have now made contact with the family to let us know that they wouldn’t be here now but for Adam’s intervention and support. That in itself is an amazing legacy to leave, and it’s typical of him that he spoke nothing of it. A beautiful boy, who sadly couldn’t see himself as others saw him.
I will be traveling to the family home on Long Island next week, attending the memorial service that’s been arranged and then – with his mother and sister – scattering Adam’s ashes in a very special place from his and his sister’s childhood. As you’ll understand, it may be quite a while before a semblance of normality returns but before I sign off I’d like to say that the sense of caring and “love” demonstrated here has touched me deeply. Thank you very much for that, and if you can see fit to make a donation to the fundraiser set up in Adam's memory – however small – it will be more appreciated than you can ever know. Indirectly, it will also mean that my son's legacy lives on, even if he’s no longer with us in a physical sense.
Very touching Tony. You show amazing strength of character.
So sorry for your loss.
JK
My thoughts are with you, such terrible news.
And
Thoughts and prayers, Tony. I can't begin to imagine your loss.
My thoughts are with you Tony.
I found it terrible when my father ended his life after lengthy depression, (Murmansk convoys etc.) so can barely imagine what it must be like to lose one of your children, which is the very last things one wishes to live through.
They say time is a big healer, I rather think it is something that makes it less raw, but never let's you forget it.
God bless !
Peter
What dreadful news. Tony, my thoughts are with you and your family at this terrible time.
Really sorry to hear this.
Thoughts with you and your family Tony.
Thinking of you Tony
David
Very upsetting. My condolences.
My thoughts are with Tony and his family. So sad.
Dear Tony,
I am truly sorry to hear this news, and I can't imagine a deeper grief that a parent could suffer. I can only say that I wish you all the strength and courage possible for the coming days and weeks.
Coady
Dear Tony
I am so sorry to hear of your loss - I have only just logged on to TZ and am shocked to hear of this. I've only met you once - a brief hello - but I can tell that you are a very good and warm person. Please accept my condolences and my thoughts are with you and your family.
Tony
Thank you for sharing your personal thoughts at this ghastly time. So sad to witness a parent losing a child, the last thing any of us would want. Stay strong, and if some good can come of it you will be rightly proud of his achievements.
Tony, I wish you and your family long life. My thoughts are with you at what must be a very difficult time.
So so sorry to hear this Tony .
My thoughts are with you and your family.
Alex
What a catastrophe. Our thoughts are with Tony and his family.
RIP Adam.
Dave
Last edited by dforgrieve; 8th February 2014 at 17:41.
My heartfelt condolences, tragic news.
Lawrence
So sorry to hear this truly tragic news, thoughts and prayers are with you Tony
RIP.
Tony,
So sorry to read of your tragic loss, as a parent I can only describe this as unthinkable.
Having read about how active he was in helping other people on the brink, I am also sure that you are filled with a huge sense of pride, which will hopefully help you as you bear your loss.
Sending you love and best wishes.
Greg.
Very sad news. Sincere condolences, my thoughts and prayers are with Tony his family and friends at this time
Terrible news, Tony. Thoughts are with you. A great idea to use the tragedy for some positive purpose. All the best.
Jeez. I thought this was just another standard TZ thread, and then I open it. Tony mate, I am so sorry to hear this tragic news - my heartfelt thoughts are with you and yours.
Life will never ever be the same again, but it will get easier in time. Celebrate the highlights of Adam's life, and think of the people who's lives he touched during his journey.
I have friends who suffered a loss of their only son in similar circumstances around 5 years back, and if you want to talk with them in time then let me know. It can help, but of course we all manage/cope in different ways.
At risk of labouring this post, a decade back when I suffered a tragic loss (i.e. not a part of the natural order of life, and as close as it can get) I found a story written for children gave me strength and maybe it will help here, or at least be of interest to others - taken from this website
Down below the surface of a quiet pond lived a little colony of water bugs. They were a happy colony, living far away from the sun. For many months they were
very busy, scurrying over the soft mud on the bottom of the pond. They did notice that every once in awhile one of their colony seemed to lose interest in going
about. Clinging to the stem of a pond lily it gradually moved out of sight and was seen no more.
"Look!" said one of the water bugs to another. "One of our colony is climbing up the lily stalk. Where do you think she is going?" Up, up, up it slowly went....Even
as they watched, the water bug disappeared from sight. Its friends waited and waited but it didn't return...
"That's funny!" said one water bug to another. "Wasn't she happy here?" asked a second... "Where do you suppose she went?" wondered a third.
No one had an answer. They were greatly puzzled. Finally one of the water bugs, a leader in the colony, gathered its friends together. "I have an idea". The next one
of us who climbs up the lily stalk must promise to come back and tell us where he or she went and why."
"We promise", they said solemnly.
One spring day, not long after, the very water bug who had suggested the plan found himself climbing up the lily stalk. Up, up, up, he went. Before he knew what
was happening, he had broke through the surface of the water and fallen onto the broad, green lily pad above.
When he awoke, he looked about with surprise. He couldn't believe what he saw. A startling change had come to his old body. His movement revealed four silver
wings and a long tail. Even as he struggled, he felt an impulse to move his wings...The warmth of the sun soon dried the moisture from the new body. He moved his
wings again and suddenly found himself up above the water. He had become a dragonfly!!
Swooping and dipping in great curves, he flew through the air. He felt exhilarated in the new atmosphere. By and by the new dragonfly lighted happily on a lily pad to
rest. Then it was that he chanced to look below to the bottom of the pond. Why, he was right above his old friends, the water bugs! There they were scurrying
around, just as he had been doing some time before.
The dragonfly remembered the promise: "The next one of us who climbs up the lily stalk will come back and tell where he or she went and why." Without thinking,
the dragonfly darted down. Suddenly he hit the surface of the water and bounced away. Now that he was a dragonfly, he could no longer go into the water...
"I can't return!" he said in dismay. "At least, I tried. But I can't keep my promise. Even if I could go back, not one of the water bugs would know me in my new
body. I guess I'll just have to wait until they become dragonflies too. Then they'll understand what has happened to me, and where I went."
And the dragonfly winged off happily into its wonderful new world of sun and air.......
From: "Waterbugs and Dragonflies : Explaining Death to Young Children"
by Doris Stickney
Take care friend...
I'm at a loss for words. An almost un-imaginable loss to bear. Life can challenge us to our limits at times. Tony, I hope you find the love and support to help you through this awful time.
regards
jeff
Very sorry to hear this such a tragic loss. Thoughts to all
Condolences to all this young mans family and friends,such incidents put our own insignificant minor problems in their true perspective .God bless and keep you Adam.
My deepest condolences at such sad news. I hope you gain all the support and help you and your family need at this tragic time.
My sincere and deepest condolences. I lost a dear friend in similar circumstances, and as a fellow parent I can't think what you're going through. Kirk
I'm so sorry to hear this news, my sincerest condolences to Tony and the family.
It's hard to know what to say.
I'm devastated to hear of your loss Tony. Knowing you just a little, it does not surprise me that even in the face of such an awful illness your son would find the warmth and kindness to look to others and offer them strength and courage. It's humbling and inspiring.
Wishing you strength and, in time, comfort.
Please be in touch if theres anything I can usefully do.
josh
Saddened to read the news. My deepest condolences.
I cannot imagine how awful it would be if this happened to one of our children, so my thoughts are with Tony. I hope that knowing that so many of his friends on the forum are thinking of him is some comfort, and that we look forward to his return when the time is right for him.
I can't begin to imagine how hard this must be. Sincerest condolences.
Mark
My deepest condolences for such a tragic lost.
Ricardo
This is so sad, my deepest condolences to Tony and family.
So sorry to hear this sad news Tony. My thoughts are with you and your family.
Mick
Terrible news, sincere condolences to Tony and family.
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