Reply With QuoteHA ha great stories!
Very American but also very funny
Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honouring the least evolved among us.
Here is the glorious winner:
1. When his 38 calibre revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked. :shock:
And now, the honourable mentions:
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.
3. A man who shovelled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
6.. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer , the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer.... $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?]
7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cylinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cylinder block and heaved it over his head at the window.. The cylinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Polycarbonate. The whole event was caught on videotape.
8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."
9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti , Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded ! cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away... [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]
10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with friends and family....unless of course one of these individuals by chance is a distant relative or long lost friend. In that case, be glad they are distant and hope they remain lost.
*** Remember.... They walk among us and they vote!!!***
HA ha great stories!
brilliant - love reading these every year....
Maybe Darwin sailed in the wrong direction, Natural Selection doesn't seem to work in the U S A, it would seem?
+1. The sewage tank one wins for me. Brilliant.
some have been doing the rounds for awhile but still good
i'd say most of these are natural selection in action -and working well :POriginally Posted by notnowkato
http://www.snopes.com/horrors/freakish/darwin05.asp
2005 vintage internet...mostly ficticious! :D
Got to love these comming out every year!!
Most fail being a Darwin award candidate. You have to be left dead or otherwise unable to reproduce to be nominated for a Darwin award.
"Bite my shiny metal ass."
- Bender Bending Rodríguez
Some corkers in there, cheers
RIAC
Only in America........................well most of them
Hence why they are Honourable Mentions. Honourable Mentions are for people who either harm themselves in such a way that if they had died they would have received a Darwin Award, or for those that show such stupidity that they are likely to at some point qualify for a Darwin Award.
So number 3 has nothing to do with itHence why they are Honourable Mentions. Honourable Mentions are for people who either harm themselves in such a way that if they had died they would have received a Darwin Award, or for those that show such stupidity that they are likely to at some point qualify for a Darwin Award.
Magic! Number 4 is my favourite!
...or you could still all be analysing something that is entirely made up and very old (2005)...see my snopes link above. :roll:
People - read Christian's link. These are all fake or made up. (The original title of this email was 'Darwin Awards 2005!)
Here you go to all of the other posters. One of these each:
:D
People - read Christian's link. These are all fake or made up. (The original title of this email was 'Darwin Awards 2005!)
Here you go to all of the other posters. One of these each:
:D
Still funny!
Pity- some of them were really funny :D :D
Alex
People - read Christian's link. These are all fake or made up. (The original title of this email was 'Darwin Awards 2005!)
Here you go to all of the other posters. One of these each:
:D
I think most of us probably knew that....and that they are as old as the hills, particularly the one about the bus full of mental patients.
I look forward to someone starting a thread about 'funny things written by students in last year's GCSEs'....starting with 'christopher columbus circumsized the world with his 100ft clipper' :|
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