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Thread: The random disclosure thread.

  1. #4301
    Grand Master
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    Quote Originally Posted by aldfort View Post
    A life filled with eerie late night encounters with the machine as it wanders around your home stealing things you've dropped.
    Sounds remarkably like living with my dog!

  2. #4302
    Grand Master Saint-Just's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by verv View Post
    I'm awaiting the delivery of a roomba.
    Wonder if this is going to be the first step towards Skynet.
    Rumba, first step... I see what you did here
    Don't take my silence for agreement. I've just realised you're too stupid to argue with.

  3. #4303
    Master
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    Any Jazz fans on here?

    Really enjoyed watching a performance by 'Thrusk' on Gold just now.

    Nice.

  4. #4304
    Grand Master Saint-Just's Avatar
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    Isn’t today the day Dizzy would have turned 100?
    http://youtube.com/watch?v=RdvPuDxNFXM
    Don't take my silence for agreement. I've just realised you're too stupid to argue with.

  5. #4305
    Quote Originally Posted by VDG View Post
    How did you know they were hookers R?
    Some things in life you can just tell.

    R
    Ignorance breeds Fear. Fear breeds Hatred. Hatred breeds Ignorance. Break the chain.

  6. #4306
    Grand Master Raffe's Avatar
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    Can somebody please help her out, I am a bit busy at the minute.

    My Dear Beloved,
    This is Ms Irene Nowak from Estonia writing from hospital here in Ivory Coast, therefore this email is very urgent to attend. I want you to know that am dying here in this hospital right now and i don't know if i will see some days to come.

    My Beloved, i was informed by my doctor that i got poisoned and it affected my liver, and i can only live for some few days. The reason why i contacted you today is because i know that my Step-mother wanted to kill me because of the inheritance i inherited from my late Father. I have a little adopted child named Andrew C. Nowak that i adopted in this Country when my late Father was alive and $3.5 million Dollars i inherited from my late Father. My Step-mother and her children they are after Andrew right now because they found out that Andrew was aware of the poison, and because i handed the documents of the fund over to him the day my step Mother poisoned my food, for that reason they do not want Andrew to expose them, so they are doing everything possible to kill him.

    My Beloved, please i want you to help him out of this country with the money, he is the only one taking good care of me here in this hospital right now and even this email you are reading now, he is the one helping me out. I want you to get back to me so that he will give you the documents of the funds and he will direct you to a well known lawyer that i have appointed, the lawyer will assist you to change the documents of the funds to your name to enable the bank transfer the money to you..

    This is the favor i need when you have gotten the funds:

    (1) Keep 30% of the money for Andrew until he finish his studies to become a man as he has been there for me as my lovely Son and i promised to support him in life to become a medical Doctor because he always desire for it with the scholarship he had won so far. I want you to take him along with you to your country and establish him as your son.

    (2) Give 20% of the money to handicap people and charity organization. The remaining 50% should be yours for your help to Andrew.

    Note; This should be a code between you and my son Andrew in this transaction "Hospital" any mail from him, the Lawyer he will direct you to, without this code "Hospital" then it is not from Andrew, the Lawyer or myself as i don't know what will happen to me in the next few hours.

    Finally, write me back urgent so that Andrew will send you his pictures to be sure of whom you are dealing with. Andrew is 14years of age, therefore guide him. Again if i don't hear from you i will look for another person or any organization.

    May Almighty God bless you and use you to accomplish my wish. Pray for me always.
    Ms Irene Nowak

  7. #4307
    Grand Master Carlton-Browne's Avatar
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    The one thing I think I leant yesterday is that Post Office travel insurance is shite.
    Die Zeit verwandelt uns nicht, sie entfaltet uns nur.

  8. #4308
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    Rather excited as the good lady and I seem to be very close to negotiating and closing on our 2nd Spanish property...wish us luck
    Last edited by Passenger; 9th November 2017 at 13:16.

  9. #4309
    Grand Master Saint-Just's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Passenger View Post
    Rather excited as the good lady and I seem to be very close to negotiating and closing on our 2nd Spanish property...wish us luck
    Good luck!
    Don't take my silence for agreement. I've just realised you're too stupid to argue with.

  10. #4310
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saint-Just View Post
    Good luck!
    Thank you SJ.

  11. #4311
    Master PipPip's Avatar
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    Big argument outside my house last night. Unusual in a tiny quiet village. Looking on Facebook I see that it was a neighbor arguing with a guy from the village who was letting off fireworks in the pub beer garden. She marched round to ask him to stop as the pub is literally surrounded by thatched cottages on all sides, including ours. The firework bloke lives close by in a tiled roof house and was arguing that “no thatch property has ever caught fire from a firework on a rainy night”. He is continuing to argue on Facebook this morning. Does this selfish idiot really think he has the right to test his assertion on our roofs? Thatch fires are utterly devastating to peoples lives, fireworks are just childish entertainment. I used to think this guy was cocky and arrogant but generally OK. I see I was wrong.

  12. #4312
    Master Tokyo Tokei's Avatar
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    I filled up the tank and then gave my car away

  13. #4313
    Grand Master Raffe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tokyo Tokei View Post
    I filled up the tank and then gave my car away
    You finally realised you need that Bentley. 👿

  14. #4314
    Grand Master Dave+63's Avatar
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    I’m currently sat in my daughter’s car on Morrison’s petrol forecourt waiting for someone to come and drain the petrol she’s just pumped in to her diesel fuel tank!

    Meanwhile, her mother has taken her shopping!

  15. #4315
    Grand Master Saint-Just's Avatar
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    🤬
    Despite the smilies above you have my sympathy.
    Don't take my silence for agreement. I've just realised you're too stupid to argue with.

  16. #4316
    Grand Master Dave+63's Avatar
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    Thanks Marc; it’s just one of those things. Easily done I suppose!

  17. #4317
    Grand Master Saint-Just's Avatar
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    I did it once in my van. Was exhausted. Probably didn’t improve my mood but it’s the kind of lesson you don’t forget if you have to go through the pain. I am not sure going shopping whilst dad does the waiting and the paying qualifies. The birthday may
    Don't take my silence for agreement. I've just realised you're too stupid to argue with.

  18. #4318
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    My left eyelashes always leave streaks on my glasses. This is annoying a) because streaks and b) because lack of symmetry.

  19. #4319
    Craftsman Go Big's Avatar
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    I have semi-skimmed milk in coffee, and skimmed milk in tea.

    If it is ever switched, then the world ends.

  20. #4320
    Grand Master Raffe's Avatar
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    ^& ^^ I understand. I really do.

  21. #4321
    Grand Master Glamdring's Avatar
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    I don't. Anything other than full fat is just wrong. In every sense of the word. It's not as if full fat has much more fat than semi. What odd tastes you guys have.

  22. #4322
    Master Mr Curta's Avatar
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    Putting any sort of milk into coffee is just wrong. Wierdos.

  23. #4323
    Grand Master Glamdring's Avatar
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    Okay, but could you really manage a full 12oz mug of espresso, black? On the rare occasions I have cream in the house one small portion goes into coffee to make it velvety.

  24. #4324
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    https://www.thepoke.co.uk/2017/12/20...s-get-happens/

    Watch the video.
    Oh god I laughed guiltily.

  25. #4325
    Master Wolfie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by verv View Post
    https://www.thepoke.co.uk/2017/12/20...s-get-happens/

    Watch the video.
    Oh god I laughed guiltily.
    Pa ha ha ha ha....

  26. #4326
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    Cadburys creme eggs are not what they were.

  27. #4327
    Quote Originally Posted by verv View Post
    Cadburys creme eggs are not what they were.
    Although, along with many other unseasonably early Easter comestibles, they are available in shops right now.

    Happy Easter!
    Although no trees were harmed during the creation of this post, a large number of electrons were greatly inconvenienced.

  28. #4328
    Grand Master Glamdring's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by verv View Post
    Cadburys creme eggs are not what they were.
    I tried one last year for the first time in many years. Tasteless. Waste of money.

  29. #4329
    Master hhhh's Avatar
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    Treated myself to a packet of Rowntree's fruit pastilles from the garage on my way home today. Out of the 10 pastilles inside, 8 were black, one was red, and there was a solitary green one.

    8 black ones!! Unheard of. I'm so happy.

    In your face Mr Roundtree!

  30. #4330
    Master
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    I've eaten steak every night this week. Gonna die young and happy

  31. #4331
    Master
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    Quote Originally Posted by hhhh View Post
    Treated myself to a packet of Rowntree's fruit pastilles from the garage on my way home today. Out of the 10 pastilles inside, 8 were black, one was red, and there was a solitary green one.

    8 black ones!! Unheard of. I'm so happy.

    In your face Mr Roundtree!
    You lucky lucky bugger!!



    Sent from my iPhone using TZ-UK mobile app

  32. #4332
    Grand Master jwg663's Avatar
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    I've just read an article in the online version of my local paper about the proliferation of pop-up brothels in Ayr.


    Lo & behold, the advert that appeared on the side of the page was entitled, 'Meet Single Women In Ayr'.


    Private Eye calls that a 'Malgorithm': I call it quite funny!
    ______

    ​Jim.

  33. #4333
    Not sure what to have for dinner later.. Last night's macaroni cheese or a takeaway.

  34. #4334
    Grand Master Carlton-Browne's Avatar
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    What is it about people who stand on (horizontal) travelators that make me think they are a complete waste of space.
    Die Zeit verwandelt uns nicht, sie entfaltet uns nur.

  35. #4335
    Grand Master
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    I love watching the curling. It's very relaxing.

  36. #4336
    Grand Master Carlton-Browne's Avatar
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    It would appear that Belgian fire alarm tests include a glass of bubbly and waffles in a local cafe. Pas mal.
    Die Zeit verwandelt uns nicht, sie entfaltet uns nur.

  37. #4337
    Master Mouse's Avatar
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    Even though I approach the task with the level of respect typically shown by someone opening Arkwright's till, I'm fed up with getting the kind of static shocks that Tesla would have been proud to create when I'm emptying the tumble drier

  38. #4338
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    Quote Originally Posted by hhhh View Post
    Treated myself to a packet of Rowntree's fruit pastilles from the garage on my way home today. Out of the 10 pastilles inside, 8 were black, one was red, and there was a solitary green one.

    8 black ones!! Unheard of. I'm so happy.

    In your face Mr Roundtree!
    You know you can get packs with just the blackcurrent?

  39. #4339
    Journeyman
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    Quote Originally Posted by verv View Post
    My left eyelashes always leave streaks on my glasses. This is annoying a) because streaks and b) because lack of symmetry.

    *Chortle*

  40. #4340
    Master Possu's Avatar
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    I see no reason to stick my beak in.

  41. #4341
    Master AlphaOmega's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr Curta View Post
    Putting any sort of milk into coffee is just wrong. Wierdos.

  42. #4342
    Master Mr Curta's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AlphaOmega View Post
    Exactly!

  43. #4343
    Master bobbee's Avatar
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    Anyone else think Bowerman's Nose in Dartmoor looks like Glenn Quagmire crossed with Thing from Fantastic Four, or is it just me?




    Last edited by bobbee; 21st March 2018 at 09:08.

  44. #4344
    Grand Master Raffe's Avatar
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    Double knee surgery today.

  45. #4345
    Grand Master SimonK's Avatar
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    This week I have mostly been drinking rerfidgerant.

  46. #4346
    Grand Master hogthrob's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Raffe View Post
    Double knee surgery today.
    Those pesky double knees are always troublesome. 😁

    Good luck. They will be making you walk on them tomorrow.

  47. #4347
    Master Tokyo Tokei's Avatar
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    Four people have been shot in the park outside.
    Last edited by Tokyo Tokei; 26th June 2018 at 15:51.

  48. #4348
    Grand Master hogthrob's Avatar
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    I bought a tin of Spam yesterday. I'm not really sure why.

  49. #4349
    Master IAmATeaf's Avatar
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    Who would have thought that doing a hot wash with washing up liquid would have been such a no-no :(

    Wife and kids complaining of the washing machine smelling, so thought I'd do the normal put in a packet of washing machine magic cleaner stuff, out of stuff so thought washing up liquid, cuts through the grease and grime.

    Now after a couple of hours of cleaning a sud filled kitchen and 4-5 washes later with lots of mopping the washing machine is at last sud free.

  50. #4350
    Grand Master Glamdring's Avatar
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    I won't point out that detergent is low-suds, for just such a reason. I suppose you've guessed that now.

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