Just had a message from my lab that a missing delivery has been sent by FedEx to Haiti...
Chances of getting it back ????? probably slim
Likelihood of 4 unhappy patients ????? probably high
I feel your pain, I stood in a freshly laid one barefooted a little while ago, had to stick my foot in the toilet and continuously flush whilst trying to get it out from between my toes with the bog brush! My lovely wife took a photo of the turd stuck between my toes before helping me out!Originally Posted by seabiscuit
Last edited by jimmyt; 15th June 2016 at 20:14.
^
You Cornish know how to have a good time!
Why is it we find the poo of some animals more offensive than others?!?
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Meat eaters have the smelliest poo. In fact everyone else's bar your own is worse...
i have bought too many watches. i am a weak human being.
ktmog6uk
marchingontogether!
Know the feeling.
Too many chick peas for lunch today.
Must admit I'm very cautious about what I eat when I'm not at home.
Had a big salad a few weeks ago. Wow. Pleased I went home afterwards. They say cows give off methane. Veggies must too.
Had my eyes tested on Friday afternoon. Rattling off the second last line of letters on the board, I read out the last two as VD. After a pause the young lady optician said "Not quite". I just wanted to curl up and die.
Today I did my first 5132d from 3m, (front 1&1/2 with one twist) my shoulders feel like someone has tried to rip them out their sockets but I really couldn't be happier.
Just as I rid myself of my addiction to bubblewrap, the vacuum is filled with a packing tape compulsion.
Still, better safe than sorry, huh?
Sebaceous cyst, I have one, right in the middle of my chest. :-(
Doctor: 'Ohh, that looks like youve been shot!'
Me: 'It feels like it too'.
R
Ignorance breeds Fear. Fear breeds Hatred. Hatred breeds Ignorance. Break the chain.
Not many people can say that. Congratulations.
Thought I was replying to the diving post. Works equally to both posts since, just fewer congratulations...
Last edited by Jyaque; 21st June 2016 at 23:56.
England vs. Iceland. Got my money on Iceland.
I'm finally going to quit talking about it and sell some (*gasp*) - needs must and all that.
Commiserations.
Wot? I'm betting on the score, not the whole championship, so I did make a couple of on that game. Albeit not as much as I got from the 5-2 yesterday.
My apologies.Wot? I'm betting on the score, not the whole championship, so I did make a couple of on that game. Albeit not as much as I got from the 5-2 yesterday.
I had left the thread some time ago, and on reading the updates I read only the second part "my money is on Iceland", which in the context of yesterday's match elicited my comment..
Congratulations for your wins, though
Congratulations to you too. I surmise you're rooting for the French team.My apologies.
I had left the thread some time ago, and on reading the updates I read only the second part "my money is on Iceland", which in the context of yesterday's match elicited my comment..
Congratulations for your wins, though
P.S. Good to have you back.
Thank you. I prefer the game where the ball is a different shape but yesterday was a pleasant game.
'Against stupidity, the gods themselves struggle in vain' - Schiller.
My little finger hurts from golf. Not sure if I'm doing it right.
Try using golf clubs rather than your fingers. It won't smart as much.
I've got a craving for frys Turkish delight.
If you can't find any, try a slug rolled in dog poo as a cheap and readily available alternative.
"Bite my shiny metal ass."
- Bender Bending Rodrķguez
Pic or it didn't happen!
Oh stoo. You're like the love child of bear grylls and fanny cradock.
Fanny Cradock was ace. And she lived in my corner of London which can't be bad.
I love her. Her Christmas special series is a festive staple in my house.
That Swiss roll. Haaaa!
https://youtu.be/zF8svGbKeI8
I laughed more than I should have done at this:
https://youtu.be/6l51gjch-1k
"Look. If you allow Cezanne to represent a third dimension on his two dimensional canvas, then you have to allow Landseer his gleam of loyalty in the spaniel's eye."
Bought three watches in the past days, haven't done that in a long time. Feel like I am 12 years old and next week is Christmas.
Someone who lies about the little things will lie about the big things too.
I've wet shaved my head completely last night. From long beard and 1/2 inch hair to Kojak. My kids couldn't recognise in the morning at first.
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My Utility Room smells of cat p*ss.
I knew they were intelligent dogs but that is impressive
Good luck everybody. Have a good one.
#JesuisCristianoRonaldo
Someone who lies about the little things will lie about the big things too.
#jesuismessi
"Bite my shiny metal ass."
- Bender Bending Rodrķguez
Shouldn't that be #EstouChristianRonaldo ?
Tax dodger?
Someone who lies about the little things will lie about the big things too.
My girlfriend has just announced that this isn't her first rodeo before disappearing head first into the fridge with a hairdryer.
Unsure which speed dial to line up first, the repair guy or the paramedics.
Repair guy. You need cold beer while waiting for the paramedics.
Yesterday a rather po-faced Maltese office fitter visited my new offices to measure and quote to install a band of frosted "privacy film" on the glass walls and doors of my office, my boardroom and my director's office. "Why do you want the film?" he asked. "So I can masturbate behind my desk without scaring my staff" I replied.
I don't really like watches. It's the tightness around my wrist I crave.
This morning have been advised by a doctor to eat more fat. Since then I've had a Portuguese custard tart, a samosa and some biscuits. Wondering if that's what he meant. Suspecting not.
Have you tried lard?
Is it nice with a bit of sugar?
I'm not sure, maybe you could caramelise it with a bit of honey? Otherwise I'd suggest you have another Nata - they are the food of the Gods.
Just had a boiled egg, probably more in line with what he meant.
I was up in Paddington earlier on, which is Nata country. Unfortunately where I live is Morley's Fried Chicken territory.
Fried is literally best if you don't want scrambled, when added butter is compulsory, so too for omelette. All the data emerging over the last couple of years supports this, rendering much of the internet advice obsolete.
Problem with the fried egg (and lovely scrambled eggs) is that it necessitates a nice piece of toast - and the point of the exercise to reduce the proportion of carbs in my diet, so that my blood sugar doesn't collapse a couple of hours after each meal.*
Though adding a boiled egg to breakfast just sounds like having my elevenses early, tbh
*this, apparently, is reactive hypoglycemia
Last edited by Der Amf; 15th July 2016 at 18:22.
Signed.
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