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All chronographs are utterly pointless. Whoever uses them after the first five minutes of ownership?

Given the above, why do I own about ten chronographs?

Any watch bigger than 42mm...

PVD coatings. Watches should be bright and glossy so SS or gold (not so much) but dull black/grey finish on a watch case is totally and utterly, wrong.

Speedy pros are vastly overrated (yes, I did have one and hated the winder).

NATOs are only any use as a spare collar for the dog if he breaks his decent one.

Quartz watches are the work of the...