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I was asked to help out with a 'really interesting project' at work.

I agreed and I'm here for two months.

They lied.

I have just killed a maybug by punching it when it was in mid air, flying round my head and bothering me.

For some reason I am deeply impressed with this.

In the high street, if I see a big issue seller I pretend to be talking on my phone when I walk past them.


I find this saves me having to punch them in the face.

Women don't understand that men can never have enough kit. Ever. Even when new kit is bought there will always be more