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He might be crackers, but I’d be happy to be in that shape at 70.

Similarly, if you’re bumping your overpriced sh*tter day after day, you might want to ask yourself a question.

I’m sure your dealer will “put you on the list” for a Tropic at a 1000% markup if you can perform anilingus to a satisfactorily high standard.

AA are the best by a country mile.

The cheap outfits like Green Flag are incomparable. They don't have their own fleet and just send out a local grease-monkey in a tow truck who's got neither the...

They do? A cousin of mine has this kind of surface on her driveway and it’s absolutely treacherous when its the least bit frosty.

Uncharted is the latest all-CGI Hollywood cartoon. One long macguffin from start to finish. The script doesn't have a single original moment — the money shot is lifted from The Living Daylights and...

Copthorne’s a sh*thole these days. You’d be better off in the new Travelodge next door. Seriously.

Crowne Plaza or Hotel Indigo would be my recommendations. Malmaison’s good, but the walk up Dean...

The latest retread of Death on the Nile is much better than the mixed reviews suggest. All concerned ham it up outrageously (you know you’re on a one-way cruise to high camp when Russell Brand’s is...

I find the UI of Waze too infantile.

Still, it’s handy to know where the filth are parked up scarfing their pasties.

Neither.

Try AmiGO, Tomtom’s free app.

I was amused by Moonfall. It’s utter tripe in the way all those Hollywood apocalypse movies are, but the lead’s backstory is a complete rip-off of the 1980 video nasty Contamination, which is...

I’ve always wanted to like Del Toro, but few of his films have clicked for me. This one I enjoyed much more than I expected to. Neo-noir is very difficult to get right (see also neo-gialli). My local...

And we thought these poor sods genuflecting before Rolex dealers were crackers.

I LOL-ed.

What a performance.

No thanks.

Are you using iCloud Private Relay?

I gave up on HP printers years ago, they never play nice with Macs. And the support is hopeless.

Switched to Canon. No problems.

I used ApplePay the last time I bought from them (last month). No problems.

I researched the hell out of all this a while back to correct mild (-1.0) myopia and bottled it. Too squeamish when it comes to eyes.

Got a pair of good quality varifocals from Costco (Essilor...

Use ApplePay.

The Vostok cognoscenti have long since given up on Meranom and now buy direct. In my experience the latter has proved as reliable, but cheaper and (surprisingly) quicker. They have stock too, which...

What fresh hell is this?

It’s a pity Casper have pulled up their stumps in the UK and Europe. I love my Casper Hybrid. I was a long-time Tempur fan, and never thought I’d find anything to truly rival it, but I took a punt on...

My late mother was still boycotting Argentinian corned beef till the day she died.

You said it.