"All gong and no dinner" Marvelous.
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"All gong and no dinner" Marvelous.
I heard a good one today. A bit sexist but someone at work described a woman as a "LRF". Apparently it means "Low Resolution Fox", i.e. better when viewed from a distance.
There are several for that phenomena. I like "back beauty", but my favourite has always been the "Double Barker", ie. body of Sue Barker, face of Ronnie Barker. THank the Viz Profanisauris for that one.Quote:
Originally Posted by PipPip
What about "but face" as in everything but the face.
"Sounds good on the phone, add 4 stone."
Women who sound sexy on the phone, are usually much larger than you'd hope :eagerness:
How about, Lower than a smackheads nostrils
All fart and no smell.
Oh well, in for a penny and all that - what about a ten-to-two bird? The girl still alone ten minutes before the nightclub closes.
'She had a face like a Bulldog licking the piss off a Thistle"
'She has been called attractive, trouble is Stevie Wonder said it"
BOBFOC?
... while looking at the sun.Quote:
Originally Posted by arthurDALEY
Kronenbourg 1664
16 from the back-64 from the front.
An Australian acquaintance once told me he was I a relationship with sock's, some other **** kids...
Be interested if anyone has heard this one, my gang used it all the time back in the day but I've never seen or heard it anywhere else.
Description of a lovely derrière seen in motion -
"She's chewin' a toffee"
Descriptive of a shapely but older lady wearing clothes inappropriate for her age "Atomic Mutton"
Body off Baywatch, face off crime watch.
Golden deceiver is my choice.Quote:
Originally Posted by Qatar-wol
"butter face", surely?Quote:
Originally Posted by chaplad
Edit: I'm not sure the OP was actually about sexist euphemisms; it seems more in the vein of "All mouth, no trousers".
A similar phrase in the US is 'all hat and no cattle'.
And another alternative for when someone talks a lot but never follows through, they are all fart no G&D, you can work it out.
"Nice from far but far from nice"
She"s got more faces than the Town Hall Clock
A pal once commented that a lass had "a set of teeth like a witchdoctor's necklace".
Golf related....
Sally Gunnell - topped shot, bit ugly but runs a long way.
The sister shagger - A topped ball that goes where you wanted it just doesn't feel like a result.
A Big Muff ?
Like a Wizards Sleeve
A Clowns Pocket
Wetter than a Otter"s pocket
I worked with a cockney who had some delightful phrasesQuote:
Originally Posted by magirus
more teeth than a Ferrari gearbox
he also referred to woman as it
take a look at it, more teeth than a Ferrari gearbox.
When someone has buck teeth I've heard the phrase used
'he/she could eat lettuce through a tennis racket'
Teeth like a vandalised churchyard
BOBFOC = body off Baywatch, face off Crimewatch
My favourite is 'face like a pork pie without the crust'.
My mate was telling the tale of another pal of ours who had copped off with a women on a night out,when we asked what she was like he said "nice body but she had a face like a smashed crab"
Id genuinely never heard that one before.
A golf putting one- I was left with a Dennis Wise I.E. a nasty little 5 footer.
Teeth like a row of bombed houses.
Fanny like a ripped out fireplace.
This one cracks me up when talking about a loose lady:
You might as well open the window and f**k the night.
'It was like punching smoke'
to describe a lady with not very tight bits
I like the Australian expression when it is time to get serious and stop messing around.
'We are not here to f*ck spiders.'
Nonsensical but really appeals to me for a bizarre reason!
Ha ha - Years ago I had an accountant who had the sexiest phone voice I have ever heard.Quote:
Originally Posted by andrewcregan
I always imagined she was stunning, but I made a point of never meeting her, so my fantasy remains intact :biggrin:
A favourite (non-sexist one) of mine is "As welcome as a dose of clap in a convent"
M.
PS Funny how men always think the woman is 'loose' - Couldn't be them who are failing to fit the slot, could it? :winkskull:
It's not the size of the organ, it's the size of the cathedral it's playing in.
"Like throwing a sausage up an alley."
Like Waving a Woodbine in the Mersey Tunnel :-)
2 donkeys don't make a shire horse
talking about a close shave in a traffic accident or similar:
" I clenched my arse so hard I think Debeers is going to sue me for the diamonds I made.."
Wetter than the front row of a One Direction concert
More or less – “ that one’s chewing toffee!”Quote:
Originally Posted by GraniteQuarry
After Nicolas Sarkozy had been president for around 6 months, launching initiative after initiative but seeing none of them through, an FT journalist described him as 'all sizzle and no steak'.
Modern version of the old “Mutton dressed as lamb”.Quote:
Originally Posted by Beaunidle
Indeed, and also referred to as “all talk, no action”.Quote:
Originally Posted by hogthrob
Just heard and American lady say - "he's all hat and no cattle"
I think it's a bit like the OP;s and "Fur coat and no knickers"
B
Quote:
Originally Posted by snowman
It's not the size of your pencil, it's how you write your name*.
*apparently - mine is actually like a VIM tin with a sheep's heart on the end so I wouldn't know (always wondered why it was a sheep's heart, but the old fella I worked with who used the phrase was never forthcoming on why - his other preferred description for that appendage being 'like a baby's arm with an apple in its hand')
Some of my favourites...
All fart and no poo
face like a bulldog licking piss off a thistle!
Tits like a spaniels ears
and when topping a golf ball but it f***s off a long way, its a Sally Gunnell - ugly but a good runner!
*Bugger just noticed Stoo beat me to the Sally Gunnell!
Stocking tops - used to describe a bloke who was 'close to a c*nt'
Not even coordinated enough to be a w*nker
Prince Charles day - first day of job when you get paraded around and introduce to everyone and get told what they do.
concerning a lady with a rather large nose...
"shave off! she could smoke a fag in the shower"
or "two of them back to back would look like a pickaxe"Quote:
Originally Posted by GOAT
Picked that up in a summer holiday job as a student
B
Up here it would be:Quote:
Originally Posted by hogthrob
Like throwing a dout up a close.
A lady who was fond of the boaby, would be a Mussolini - a great dick taker.
Of a particularly skinny lass "lace her into DMs and you could use her as a golf club"
And from one of my crasser Welsh chums regarding an attractive young lady, "If I was her Da I'd still be washing her"
My daughter is twelve, they will NEVER be introduced.
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